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(SeattlePI)   Man fondling himself while staring at a bartender gets arrested when he returns a couple of days later to pick up the jar of vaseline he left behind at the bar   (blog.seattlepi.com) divider line 73
    More: Strange, indecent exposure, fondling, freedom of religion, James Thomas Triblett, phone sex, masturbator, no religion, king county  
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9689 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2010 at 1:20 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-13 11:06:05 AM
Can you imagine this guys "72 virgins"?
 
2010-01-13 11:15:31 AM
Glad to see a story with two happy endings.
 
2010-01-13 11:25:17 AM
Welcome to Obama's America.
 
2010-01-13 01:21:14 PM
If that is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2010-01-13 01:22:01 PM
At first I read that as Hitler. It was more awesome my way.
 
2010-01-13 01:22:10 PM
ew
 
2010-01-13 01:23:01 PM
He just wanted to jelly up to the bar.
 
2010-01-13 01:23:01 PM
" been charged with indecent exposure with sexual motivation"

WTF? is there any other reason to be charged with indecent exposure?
 
2010-01-13 01:24:49 PM
Is this not the right way to express interest in a nice girl?
 
2010-01-13 01:25:03 PM
kvinesknows: " been charged with indecent exposure with sexual motivation"

WTF? is there any other reason to be charged with indecent exposure?


Peeing in public can get you an indecent exposure charge.

Or maybe just hiking.
 
2010-01-13 01:26:33 PM
Bart: I'm looking for Mr Inhoff. First name Jack.
Moe: Hang on. Hey, is anyone in here Jack Inhoff? Why you-
 
2010-01-13 01:26:57 PM
Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim was seated in the bar

Made me think of some Tool.


Die Eier von Satan

Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker
Ein Viertel Teelöffel Salz
Eine Messerspitze türkisches Haschisch
Ein halbes Pfund Butter
Ein Teelöffel Vanillenzucker
Ein halbes Pfund Mehl
Einhundertfünfzig Gramm gemahlene Nüsse
Ein wenig extra Staubzucker
... und keine Eier

In eine Schüssel geben
Butter einrühren
Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und
Den Teig verkneten

Augenballgroße Stücke vom Teig formen
Im Staubzucker wälzen und
Sagt die Zauberwörter
Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim

Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und
Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und
KEINE EIER

Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und
Keine Eier ..
 
2010-01-13 01:27:16 PM
Obviously the bartender wasn't happy with the size of the tip.
 
2010-01-13 01:27:17 PM
kvinesknows

" been charged with indecent exposure with sexual motivation"

WTF? is there any other reason to be charged with indecent exposure?


Peeing in public, for one. In states that don't make this distinction, if you pee in an alley at 3 AM, you'll end up on the same sex offender list as the guy caught masturbating nude in his car across the street from the middle school.
 
2010-01-13 01:28:09 PM
penis trifecta?
 
2010-01-13 01:28:20 PM
Good sir, a clumsily handled flaming shot, ON THE HOUSE!

AIIEEEEEEEEEE!

- Vaseline turns to nardpalm.
 
2010-01-13 01:29:00 PM
I can't pass judgment on his actions until I see the bartender. I mean, who hasn't fired off some knuckle children while waiting on your drink from a hot bar wench?
 
2010-01-13 01:29:02 PM
Lol. I worked at 13 Coins years ago. I actually got fired for reporting them to the Health Department for recycling un-eaten food from plates. Yep, I was the one who had the lovely job of determining what had a bite out of it and what did not. Even at age 18 I knew this was wrong, plus I hated touching it. Anyway, I wonder if they still serve that little antipasto plate with the salami slices, olives and pepperoncinis. There was a huge plastic garbage can where the chefs grabbed these recycled little gems to make up the plates. Really farking gross restaurant.
 
2010-01-13 01:29:16 PM
so what is decent exposure then?
 
2010-01-13 01:29:40 PM
I accept that.
 
2010-01-13 01:30:07 PM
TTIUWOP of the bartender.
 
GOB
2010-01-13 01:32:00 PM
man is in a position to buy a Harley Davidson, and after much consideration opts for a very nice model. The salesman is very pleased and offers the man a few words of advice. He tells him to always carry a jar of Vaseline in his pocket and if he knows it is going to rain to smear the Vaseline all over the bodywork of the bike in order to prevent rust. The man drives his Harley off and is most pleased.
A few weeks later the man and his girlfriend drive the Harley to her parents house where the man is to meet them for the first time.
The girlfriend tells the man that they have a rule in her house that the first person who speaks after dinner has to wash the dishes.
They have a lovely meal and afterwards there is nothing but silence form all around the table. This silence goes on for about an hour and the man decides that he has to do something to make someone break the silence, so he grabs his girlfriend and kisses her passionately, still no one says a word. He then decides that he's going to have sex with her right there on the dining room table. Again no one says a word. Getting very frustrated at the continued silence he decides to have sex with the mother on the table, nobody says anything. At this point the man can hear that it is starting to rain so he pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket to which the father shouts "OK,OK! I'll do the damn dishes!"
 
2010-01-13 01:34:45 PM
AtomicHoser: Obviously the bartender wasn't happy with the size of the tip.

You win...

One free peener
 
2010-01-13 01:38:26 PM
Triblett? Oh, for a minute there I thought it was our favorite huffer.
 
2010-01-13 01:38:33 PM
I'll have what he's having.
 
2010-01-13 01:38:35 PM
FTA: "James Thomas Triblett"

That surname is one letter away from comedy gold.
 
2010-01-13 01:39:54 PM
Pro-tip. If, after a long night of drinking and self gratification at a bar you forget your jar of Vaseline, leave it, cuz man, it's gone.
 
2010-01-13 01:40:58 PM
R.A.Danny: Pro-tip. If, after a long night of drinking and self gratification at a bar you forget your jar of Vaseline, leave it, cuz man, it's gone.

Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
 
2010-01-13 01:44:21 PM
Questioned about his Vaseline-covered hands, he said he'd been having phone sex with his wife, prosecutors alleged. She denied the claim but offered that her husband had previously been convicted on similar charges in Clallam County.

ROFL! looks like the wife did him in. I think he needs to find a better aliby than his wife from now on.
 
2010-01-13 01:44:25 PM
AtomicHoser: Obviously the bartender wasn't happy with the size of the tip.

This should have had voting enabled. +1 to you.
 
2010-01-13 01:44:34 PM
eyehate: Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim was seated in the bar

Made me think of some Tool.


Die Eier von Satan

Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker
Ein Viertel Teelöffel Salz
Eine Messerspitze türkisches Haschisch
Ein halbes Pfund Butter
Ein Teelöffel Vanillenzucker
Ein halbes Pfund Mehl
Einhundertfünfzig Gramm gemahlene Nüsse
Ein wenig extra Staubzucker
... und keine Eier

In eine Schüssel geben
Butter einrühren
Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und
Den Teig verkneten

Augenballgroße Stücke vom Teig formen
Im Staubzucker wälzen und
Sagt die Zauberwörter
Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim

Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und
Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und
KEINE EIER

Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und
Keine Eier ..


Keine Eier?
 
2010-01-13 01:45:49 PM
GOB: man is in a position to buy a Harley Davidson, and after much consideration opts for a very nice model. The salesman is very pleased and offers the man a few words of advice. He tells him to always carry a jar of Vaseline in his pocket and if he knows it is going to rain to smear the Vaseline all over the bodywork of the bike in order to prevent rust. The man drives his Harley off and is most pleased.
A few weeks later the man and his girlfriend drive the Harley to her parents house where the man is to meet them for the first time.
The girlfriend tells the man that they have a rule in her house that the first person who speaks after dinner has to wash the dishes.
They have a lovely meal and afterwards there is nothing but silence form all around the table. This silence goes on for about an hour and the man decides that he has to do something to make someone break the silence, so he grabs his girlfriend and kisses her passionately, still no one says a word. He then decides that he's going to have sex with her right there on the dining room table. Again no one says a word. Getting very frustrated at the continued silence he decides to have sex with the mother on the table, nobody says anything. At this point the man can hear that it is starting to rain so he pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket to which the father shouts "OK,OK! I'll do the damn dishes!"


I LOL'd thanks.

Also: Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim... say that 5 times fast
 
2010-01-13 01:46:58 PM
LeroyBourne: I'll start it out.
/hot bartenders!


Yeah, the Adam's apple, receding hairline and horrible boob job really do it for me.
 
2010-01-13 01:48:28 PM
He wasn't as slick as he thought.
 
2010-01-13 01:48:30 PM
jehovahs witness protection: Can you imagine this guys "72 virgins"?

Racism. Nice.
 
2010-01-13 01:49:45 PM
mitchcumstein1: Welcome to Obama's America.

Politics Tab is over there -------------------------------------->
 
2010-01-13 01:50:39 PM
buddyrtr: Keine Eier?

The Eggs/Balls of Satan

Half a cup of powdered sugar
One quarter teaspoon salt
One knife tip Turkish hash
Half a pound butter
One teaspoon vanilla-sugar
Half a pound flour
150 g ground nuts
A little extra powdered sugar
... and no eggs

Place in a bowl
Add butter
Add the ground nuts and
Knead the dough


Form eyeball-size pieces from the dough
Roll in the powdered sugar
and say the Magic Words:
"Sim sala bim bamba sala do saladim"

Place on a greased baking pan and
Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes
...AND NO EGGS

Bake at 200 degrees for 15 minutes
...and no eggs.


/Delicious
 
2010-01-13 01:57:02 PM
Dances-With-Lobster: jehovahs witness protection: Can you imagine this guys "72 virgins"?

Racism. Nice.


Despite the guy being a douchebag, I thought the comment was funny.
 
2010-01-13 01:59:51 PM
JimmySlicings: LeroyBourne: I'll start it out.
/hot bartenders!


Do a GIS for Alexis Amore with safe search off. You won't be disappointed. (NSFW)
 
2010-01-13 02:00:54 PM
Ashtrey: Peeing in public can get you an indecent exposure charge.

No problem, just don't unzip.
 
2010-01-13 02:01:55 PM
he'll need the jelly for his Rahim'ing in jail
 
2010-01-13 02:05:28 PM
Was it a McPoyle?
 
2010-01-13 02:10:32 PM
LeroyBourne: I'll start it out.
/hot bartenders!


She looks like she has hepatitis.
 
2010-01-13 02:11:06 PM
mitchcumstein1: Welcome to Obama's America.

id10t
 
2010-01-13 02:11:23 PM
category_five: She looks like she has hepatitis.

Nah, she slept with a halfling and has hobbititis.
 
2010-01-13 02:12:28 PM
Sounds like a bar I was taken to in New Orleans in `77.

But it wasn't Vaseline on the bar, it was Crisco. And there was more than one large open can.

And pairs of guys were grabbing scoopfuls of it on their way upstairs to the back room.

I was 18, and had never seen anything like it before.

I stayed to finish my drink, left and had some heated words with the locals who'd brought me there. I mean, I wouldn't have minded seeing something new if they'd just told me, first....
 
2010-01-13 02:13:07 PM
mitchcumstein1: Welcome to Obama's America.

Absolutely! I don't wanna live anywhere that the black liberals stop me from jacking off in bars.

Or something like that.
 
2010-01-13 02:13:53 PM
Crunch61: Ashtrey: Peeing in public can get you an indecent exposure charge.

No problem, just don't unzip.


Who wears pants nowadays? Who has time?
 
2010-01-13 02:20:03 PM
GIS 'Decent Exposure':

NSFW (new window)
PNSFW (new window)
NSFW (new window)
NSFW (new window)
 
2010-01-13 02:30:05 PM
Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim
Proceeded through his half-baked scheme

He greased his hands with Vaseline
Then stood at bar and stroked his ween

He stared at her for whom he yearned
And soon she felt a bit concerned

She grabbed her phone and called the cops,
"You'd best get here before he pops"

Policemen came and tied him up;
Basim Salim did not give up,

"I HAD to give the thing a whirl --
I'm having phone sex with my girl!"

They didn't buy his story-fail,
And so they hauled him off to jail.

"Be sure to keep it in your pants,
'Cause Bubba there, he likes to dance."

Abdul-Rahim just let me say
You've learned a lesson here today

When masturbating on the fly,
Just suck it up and leave it dry.

(And what of our fair heroine
Who helps to keep the city clean?

You'd think she would be left at ease
Now that they've put away the sleaze

But people come from far and wide
And clamor to be let inside

Because they've heard that 13 Coins'
The place to be for fondling groins.)
 
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