I have the same problem. Lease is up in a month, and tons of holes in the carpet.

I'm pretty sure this wouldn't work for a large hole, but for smaller ones: Find a loose bit along the edge and start pulling. You should get a nice little run, but if you do it right, it will run along the wall, well out of sight. Take that and cut the piece up into little bits. You then put a little glue into the hole, like nail glue, super glue, etc... and sprinkle the home-made carpet fuzz on the glue. Wah-Laa... a little less noticable.

As for a large hole? Do the same thing, you are screwed anyways. Just deny everything.

Do what LaChanz said about throwing a rug over it, but not after cutting a large hole in the floor. Lure him in by putting your rent check, or a noise complaint on top of it, then don't let him out until he gives you your security deposit back.

Tell 'em it was caused by Saddam's WOMD...

tell the landlord major pest control is needed.

How about take responsibility and offer to pay for repair/replacement?

A vote for me is a vote for boring polite adult behavior.

Tell him the truth. You're retarded.

No voting before.

A vote for me is a vote for obfuscation.

"I was just cleaning it and it went off."

Alternatively, paint it pink and erect a cheap S.E.P field.

Set light to the light fitting. Throw the remains on the cartpet. Throw bucket of water on it. Phone the landlord and tell him the electrics shorted and nearly killed you. Demand compensation.

For added sympathy, throw a coupld of goldfish on the floor and pretend the only water to hand was the bowl your beloved pets lived in...

A vote for me is a vote for people who hate landlords.

"it was there when i got here"
"tell him/her* it was necessary to contain ur SARS outbreak which you aren't quite over yet"
*here at fark we believe in political correctness /snicker

Friendly fire?

when your landlord arrives (soil yourself before he arrives) sit in the darkened room rocking back and forth, foaming at the mouth and masturbating - chances are he is not going to notice the hole in the carpet.

YOU ARE AN ID-I-OT! LA LA LA LALALA LA LA LA!
(REPEAT)

this is why you buy cheap rugs WHEN YOU MOVE IN
also dont get stoned while on the floor
or try soldering that L33T p.c case mod on the floor
or do anything else stupid

does he want to believe?

Open a window. Melted carpet stinks.

Tell him, in a very calm, controlled voice,"Oh SH-T! THat damn thing tried to eat my face off! If I hadn't cut its' arm and the blood hadn't eaten away at the arpet I would've been dead!!" OH yeah, you may have to cut a hole in the floor too.

haha rent him "signs" that movie sucks so bad, he will just be grateful its over, and not care about the hole in the carpet.

Burn the building down. Then kill his cat.

Vote for me! Wheeeeeeee!

does anyone else thinks that looks like a crop circle?

What did he do to melt the carpet?

I hope he did not do what my old roomate did. He got bored and decided to use his bottle of Zippo fluid as a mini flame thrower.

Luckily he only melted a smal portion of the carpet. he tried to cover it up by taking clippers to the fuzz leftover.


Why do I always get the tarded roomates.

wait... i didn't read the headline. disregard that.

/farking moron

What hole?

Put a tiny seating arrangment around the hole, complete with flags and banners and miniture statues of pagan gods. Tell your landlord it's a gladiator pit for carpet lice.

One word: Arson

That's because it is a crop circle!

Tell your landlord it's the only way you know how to give the floor an orgasm, and that he should be thankful you take the time to fingerbang his apartment.

ok real advice
buy a can of green paint
put in some very low wattage bulbs
buy some laser pointers and shine them into your landlords eyes*

*dont really do this one lasers = blind

Light the rest to make the whole carpet look the same.

From what an apartment manager once told me:

If the carpet is over 5 years old, his landlord has fully depreciated it. Meaning that it has no value and they cannot charge you for it.

It doesn't matter if you've been there 5 years, just that the carpet itself is 5 years or older.

If you think it's over 5 years old, but not sure, just ask the landlord to replace it. They'll look in their records and see when it was last replaced. If it's over 5 years, you should be ok

Bye bye security deposit...

If it's a small enough hole and the carpet is generic enough, you can call a carpeting place and they'll send someone over to put a plug in from pieces of their own stock. Be sure to have a cute girlfriend call and be there when the repairman arrives... she'll get charged less if she makes like she did it herself (and perhaps shows a little cleavage). Can mean the difference between $30 and $75.

/been there, done that

Start saving. They'll find some way to charge you for it.

A vote for me is a vote for resigned pessimism.

put a bible over the hole. dollars to donuts he won't kick the bible out of the way for fear of being hit by lightning from his/her god. and it that does happen, problem solved.

pour blood all over the carpet and put bloody noodles all over the wall. the hole will be the least of his/her worries.

kill him and then wear his face like a mask until your out of sight of the complex. then have an old friend for dinner. (guess what i just finished watching?)

Another dose of semi-serious advice -- if there's carpet in the closet, you can cut a piece of the carpet out of it that matches the size of the hole. Plug in, and voila! Instant carpet patch.

Just one thing....

...make sure the carpet in the closet matches the shading (and fading) of the carpet surrounding the hole. Otherwise, you can explain that you decided to adopt a dalmation carpet, and isn't it well trained? Look, you've already taught it to stay!

Just cut a square hole in the carpet and patch it from a piece of similar size removed from the inside of a closet or somewhere else where it won't be noticed. Happened to the place I'm living in by the previous tenants

Just put your hands over your ears and shout "La-la-la, I can't hear you" whenever the landlord brings the subject up.

Oops. 'Scuse me, EdMon, I duped ya.
(Can't hold with the pooping bit, tho)

draw an outline of a body and add some blood and crime scene tape. he won't mention the hole.

1. pull all the carpet up
2. throw it away
3. sand and varnish the floor boards
4. tell the landlord he owes you for the new decor
5. laugh at him

Go hunting for a similar colored chunk of carpet. Soil or scrub so as to make it match color of carpet around hole, make a cut out of said hole, Back fill with chunk of carpet. Place clutter near spot of said "hole" make sure not to cover it and do your best to not let him focus on that part too much I suggest placing porn collection very close to said hole, seems to distract pretty well.


Ahh porn and forgery is there anything it cant fix??

Go hunting for a similar colored chunk of carpet. Soil or scrub so as to make it match color of carpet around hole, make a cut out of said hole, Back fill with chunk of carpet. Place clutter near spot of said "hole" make sure not to cover it and do your best to not let him focus on that part too much I suggest placing porn collection very close to said hole, seems to distract pretty well.


Ahh porn and forgery is there anything it cant fix??

"IT SLICES IT DICES AND FOR A LIMITED TIME VOTING!!"

tenant: Well my friend brough his telescope over and left the lens cap off as close as I can tell it did the "magifying glass burning the ant thing.." *shrug* weird shiat I know... Your just lucky I came out before you lost your whole complex.

reason two: (incase no one has a telescope or any other thick ass glass thingamabober)

Tenant: My space heater fell over. Your just lucky I came out before you lost your whole complex.

reason three: (incase you live somewhere ya dont need a space heater)

Tenant: So I come out of the bathroom and I see my girlfriends left her hair dryer on and its caught the rug on fire! So I grab the hair dryer, boot her ass out the door and tell her "Dont come back here trying to burn my place down you crazy biatch!" Your just lucky I came out before you lost your whole complex.

reason four: (incase you havent got a girlfriend)

Tenant: So I come out of the bathroom and theres my lil brother( or some drunk friend) and he's trying to light his farts on fire.... So I hollar "STOP THAT CRAZY shiat!" But he goes through with it before I can reach him... I did manage to keep it from spreading.... Your just lucky I came out before you lost your whole complex.

Be a man. Tell the landlord you damaged the carpet and pay for repairs.

It was a mis-targeted bunker buster. You want a new room further from Iraq.

Is it just me and my anal fixation, or does that hole look like, well, a big ol' bumhole.

Nah, prolly just me.