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(Kansas City)   Heavy metal found in children's jewelry. Levels of POISON deemed BIOHAZARD to kids. May cause MEGADETH in large doses. Chinese blame DAMN YANKEES for RATTing them out. Officials to take EXTREME measures, may issue WARRANTs for arrest   (kansascity.com ) divider line 249
    More: Scary  
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5953 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2010 at 9:48 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



249 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-01-11 10:00:39 AM  

Willis13: Sounds like Subby's idea of heavy metal is the same as the people at the Grammy Awards.


i see what you did there. well played, sir.
 
2010-01-11 10:01:13 AM  

Krymson Tyde: Mugato: subby is intimating that Poison is metal?

Came to say this.


Poison is totally metal, and Brett Michaels isn't bald.
 
2010-01-11 10:01:20 AM  
This thread is probably the easiest game of 'Spot the Troll' I've seen all month.
 
2010-01-11 10:01:26 AM  

Krymson Tyde: Mugato: subby is intimating that Poison is metal?

Came to say this.


Well, their something, besides crap.

/Also
//Who the fark thinks that Motley is actually metal?
///Glam rock ain't metal, it's marginally pop music
 
2010-01-11 10:01:31 AM  
BAND NAME

/Did i do it right?
 
2010-01-11 10:02:32 AM  

CygnusDarius: Krymson Tyde: Mugato: subby is intimating that Poison is metal?

Came to say this.

Well, their they're something, besides crap.

/Also
//Who the fark thinks that Motley is actually metal?
///Glam rock ain't metal, it's marginally pop music


Fixed it myself.
 
2010-01-11 10:02:33 AM  
i.imgur.com

Approves.
 
2010-01-11 10:03:12 AM  
Ozzmium?

/Couldn't decide between chemistry and metal
 
2010-01-11 10:03:46 AM  
What, subby couldn't figure out how to work Jethro Tull into that headline?
 
2010-01-11 10:04:24 AM  

Invisible Pedestrian: Approves.


What is that red square in his pocket?
 
2010-01-11 10:04:30 AM  
Smity needs to learn the difference between Metal and Glam Rock.
 
2010-01-11 10:04:50 AM  

Talkc: BAND NAME

/Did i do it right?


No.

Try again:
Link (new window)
 
2010-01-11 10:04:57 AM  
In 20 years all of the hard core rawk metal bands of today will seem just as ridiculous to kids as poison, warrant, and cinderella do today. Metal doesn't age well.
 
2010-01-11 10:06:05 AM  
I'M GEORGE CORPSEGRINDER, AND I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS HEADLINE.

/not George really
//couldn't even play him on TV
 
2010-01-11 10:06:14 AM  
It's amazing to me that not only is the stuff sold here. But what's more depressing is that people in China are so desperate they'll work with stuff like lead and cadmium.

A lingering, painful death from sufficient neurological damage is really not what you want out of life.
 
2010-01-11 10:06:51 AM  

WeaselFlesh: In 20 years all of the hard core rawk metal bands of today will seem just as ridiculous to kids as poison, warrant, and cinderella do today. Metal doesn't age well.


yeah but the modern comparison for those bands wouldn't be "hard core rawk metal bands of today" it would be the nickelbacks and creeds of today, which sound pretty ridiculous even today.
 
2010-01-11 10:07:24 AM  
gotta start 'em early, I always say!
 
2010-01-11 10:07:37 AM  
Look, all the kids wanted was nothing but a good time. Sure, when you take the jewelry away you might be bringin' on the hearbreak, but just give them some cherry pie and they'll be in paradise city.

/got nothin'
//Animal F&*k Like A Best
 
2010-01-11 10:08:26 AM  
Cadmium is some nasty shiat. Used to be used in metal shopping carts and refrigerator shelves to prevent staining and stay shiny. Public health agencies have found a lot of poisoning cases where street people would use old shelves and carts as improvised BBQ grills. The heated cadmium leaches out into whatever is being cooked and either kills the person or makes them very sick with heavy metal poisoning.

///Lamb of God > pure metal
 
2010-01-11 10:09:13 AM  
i think the accusations will just go round and round ....
 
2010-01-11 10:09:31 AM  

yakmans_dad: It's amazing to me that not only is the stuff sold here. But what's more depressing is that people in China are so desperate they'll work with stuff like lead and cadmium.

A lingering, painful death from sufficient neurological damage is really not what you want out of life.


Some of the most brilliant painters suffered from lead and cadmium poisoning from pointing their brushes with their mouths. It makes everything look like van Gogh.
 
2010-01-11 10:10:30 AM  
Call me a cynic, or even meshuggah, but I would call for the death of all the bands subby mentioned, hopefully eaten alive by cannibal corpses. I would like to see them in flames, immolation, or dismembered. It could be mayhem if I could engage that killswitch.
 
2010-01-11 10:11:27 AM  

thomps: yeah but the modern comparison for those bands wouldn't be "hard core rawk metal bands of today" it would be the nickelbacks and creeds of today, which sound pretty ridiculous even today.


Lemmy has said that it's all rock and roll no matter what label you put on it.

And you can't argue with Lemmy...because Lemmy is god.
 
2010-01-11 10:11:34 AM  
The real question is:

If I eat a childrens charm bracelet that is 91% cadmium, will it tard me up more or less than listening to 80s hair metal for 24 hours?

/seriously, when does sloppy capitalism become an act of war?
 
2010-01-11 10:12:09 AM  

Tanukis_Parachute: i think the accusations will just go round and round ....


...just give it time.
 
2010-01-11 10:12:59 AM  
i73.photobucket.com

Woo heavy metal thread!
 
2010-01-11 10:13:02 AM  
Why does China hate the chilluns?


Dio know?
 
2010-01-11 10:13:29 AM  
cheevyjames.com

One of my favorites. There are only like 4 or 5 songs, but you can listen to it over and over and over and over again.

Never gets old.
 
2010-01-11 10:14:36 AM  

Rex Dart: Sybarite: This headline is Testament to the fact that some submitters don't deserve a Mercyful Fate. I can't Decide if they should be Entombed with a large Black Widow or simply slapped in the Iron Maiden, but I don't think either choice is Overkill for such Dirty Rotten Imbeciles.

Okay, now that's metal. +1


Yeah, but DRI? That's crossover Thrashcore.
 
2010-01-11 10:15:21 AM  
img193.imageshack.us
 
2010-01-11 10:15:56 AM  
Came in to point out How I know Subby's a Poser...

(Heavy metal found in children's jewelry. Levels of POISON deemed BIOHAZARD to kids. May cause MEGADETH in large doses. Chinese blame DAMN YANKEES for RATTing them out. Officials to take EXTREME measures, may issue WARRANTs for arrest)

But then....aww hell, you know.

/Turn in your "man" card too subby.
 
2010-01-11 10:16:13 AM  

Jebus Slaves: The real question is:

If I eat a childrens charm bracelet that is 91% cadmium, will it tard me up more or less than listening to 80s hair metal for 24 hours?

/seriously, when does sloppy capitalism become an act of war?

i183.photobucket.com
Both!
 
2010-01-11 10:18:21 AM  

Watson 749: Invisible Pedestrian: Approves.

What is that red square in his pocket?


Pictures of the top members of the National Academy of Record Arts and Sciences with various farm animals.
 
2010-01-11 10:18:43 AM  
Ugh! Is there anything the Chinese can't make toxic?! Why do we still trade with them?
 
2010-01-11 10:19:05 AM  
That's a def headline.
 
2010-01-11 10:19:25 AM  
img.photobucket.com
I don't need no instructions to know how to ROCK!
 
2010-01-11 10:19:33 AM  
Headline fail aside, the article doesn't emphasize how much this was caused by the CPSIA. That law decimated small toy makers, and didn't make things any safer. Congress got its panties in a bunch over 'safety', wrote a shiatastic law, had the law edited by mega-corporations, and then ignored the horrible consequences when it was passed.

Bravo.
 
2010-01-11 10:20:37 AM  

Thunderpickle: Ugh! Is there anything the Chinese can't make toxic?! Why do we still trade with them?


Cheap.
 
2010-01-11 10:20:57 AM  

WeaselFlesh: In 20 years all of the hard core rawk metal bands of today will seem just as ridiculous to kids as poison, warrant, and cinderella do today. Metal doesn't age well.


I thought all those bands were ridiculous then.
Metal Lite! Yeah!
Watered down like an American Beer.
 
2010-01-11 10:21:53 AM  
I hope GodSmacks the shiat out of some of you for mentioning these crappy bands. If I had a Nickelback for every cheesy song from this era, I'd also be Def as a Leopard. For shame that such Cheap Tricks are allowed to be promoted by you WASPs.
Catch ya'll later. I've got to KISS my Faster Pussycat before I head to the gym.
 
2010-01-11 10:22:13 AM  

Invisible Pedestrian: Watson 749: Invisible Pedestrian: Approves.

What is that red square in his pocket?

Pictures of the top members of the National Academy of Record Arts and Sciences with various farm animals.


That's what I thought, but I wanted to make sure.
 
2010-01-11 10:22:49 AM  

CygnusDarius: Thunderpickle: Ugh! Is there anything the Chinese can't make toxic?! Why do we still trade with them?

Cheap.


China owns us.
 
2010-01-11 10:23:21 AM  

Limp_Bisquick: before I head to the gym.


Thats a short ass album
 
2010-01-11 10:23:26 AM  

The Southern Dandy: What, subby couldn't figure out how to work Jethro Tull into that headline?


That's still a sensitive issue, assh*le.
 
2010-01-11 10:23:42 AM  

Thunderpickle: Ugh! Is there anything the Chinese can't make toxic?! Why do we still trade with them?


THEY have ALL of our MONEY. Don't PISS them off by NOT buying their TOXIC CRAP.

Sorry, crappy headline got me all excited for caps lock.

NAPALM DEATH
 
2010-01-11 10:23:49 AM  

yakmans_dad: It's amazing to me that not only is the stuff sold here. But what's more depressing is that people in China are so desperate they'll work with stuff like lead and cadmium.

A lingering, painful death from sufficient neurological damage is really not what you want out of life.


Perhaps, but it will be sweet relief when the Death Angel finally comes for them.
 
2010-01-11 10:24:13 AM  
jerkmag.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-01-11 10:24:54 AM  
All the new Poisons just have different toys and they all play their parts perfectly.

/goddamn, I hope that's not obscure on Fark.
 
2010-01-11 10:25:35 AM  
earbuds.popdose.com

Even a Cross-eyed Mary wouldn't bungle that list of cheesy aqualung bands
 
2010-01-11 10:27:13 AM  

vernonFL: I don't know what 'heavy metal' is anymore.

It used to be Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Metallica.

/I still have my jean jacket.


I'll agree on Priest and Maiden, but the third band, that shall go unnamed, broke the first rule of heavy metal music. Really? You're just gonna put the word "metal" in your name? Douchebags from day one.
 
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