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(The Hill)   James Carville: airport scanners can "measure my penis," Oh Jesus, God no   (washingtonscene.thehill.com) divider line 283
    More: Strange, James Carville, political strategists, security scans, T.S. Eliot, George Clooney, graphics  
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16136 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2010 at 2:17 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



283 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-01-08 02:00:11 PM  
This is good news for me
 
2010-01-08 02:01:27 PM  
Well that's one way to put it.
 
2010-01-08 02:08:42 PM  
At what magnification?
 
2010-01-08 02:09:48 PM  
James Carville: airport scanners can "measure my penis," "prove I'm a huge dick."

giovanniworld.files.wordpress.com

/ FTFY
 
2010-01-08 02:10:10 PM  
I've never seen a machine gouge its own sensors out.
 
2010-01-08 02:11:19 PM  
Next they'll be stealing our precious bodily fluids.
 
2010-01-08 02:18:23 PM  
what if you are a grower and not a shower?
 
2010-01-08 02:18:41 PM  
Carville never fails to crack me up.
 
2010-01-08 02:19:45 PM  
Great, now I gotta fluff before I go through security.
 
2010-01-08 02:19:45 PM  
Have at it, hoss.
 
2010-01-08 02:19:52 PM  
Is this some scheme to get us onto the metric system?

DAMN YOU, MR. MILLIMETER!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!
 
2010-01-08 02:20:28 PM  
Can they measure the volume and depth of a vagina?

Oh sorry, women aren't measured, they're judged.
 
2010-01-08 02:20:38 PM  
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8lyzsp
(copy and paste, NSFW)
 
2010-01-08 02:20:56 PM  
Nobody is seeing my penis unless they pay me. I'm certainly not paying them hundreds of dollars for the honor.

BTW these things violate child pornography laws in several countries, so expect Chris Hansen to be asking the screeners to please have a seat right over there.
 
2010-01-08 02:21:04 PM  
So when women walk through it divides by zero?
 
2010-01-08 02:21:30 PM  
blogs.ajc.com
 
2010-01-08 02:21:36 PM  
cannotsuggestaname: what if you are a grower and not a shower?

I'm a grower so it wouldn't be an accurate scan!

/that's my story, and sticking to it I AM!
 
2010-01-08 02:21:52 PM  
Rapmaster2000: Great, now I gotta fluff before I go through security.

this :(
 
2010-01-08 02:22:14 PM  
My question is, will this cause dick cancer?
 
2010-01-08 02:22:42 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: Next they'll be stealing our precious bodily fluids.

Only if you have more than three ounces in you.
 
2010-01-08 02:23:38 PM  
That settles it, next time I'm flying I'm wearing a strap-on. Fun for the confused security, fun for me later!

/taken away since it's a weapon? Penile projectile?
 
2010-01-08 02:24:02 PM  
Welcome Southworst passengers. We will begin boarding for our Flight 347 to Dallas. We are offering immediate seating to gentlemen 7 inches or more. When they have boarded, gentlemen 4 to 6 may board. All others may find a spot on the wing.

Thank you again for flying Southworst. It's not all our fault, you know.
 
2010-01-08 02:24:35 PM  
Wow, those airport scanners really are some sensitive instruments, aren't they?
 
2010-01-08 02:24:37 PM  
oh sure... someone at the airport called him pencil-dick, and he goes off half-cocked.
 
2010-01-08 02:24:53 PM  
so the turtles snake will be exposed?
 
2010-01-08 02:24:58 PM  
As rumor has it, both of Carville's heads look exactly alike, right down to the grouchy scowl.
 
2010-01-08 02:25:06 PM  
Gorgor...that's nasty...good thing that guy shaves.
 
2010-01-08 02:25:26 PM  
If they charge extra for luggage, how much they gonna cost me for Little Elvis?

It's complicated.
 
2010-01-08 02:25:27 PM  
I would be fun to shiat your pants during the scan.
 
2010-01-08 02:25:37 PM  
Jsc810, That's a strange place to keep a hair brush.
 
2010-01-08 02:25:56 PM  
Demetrius: Carville never fails to crack me up.

He's a total freak. Which is entertaining.

I remember seeing him interviewed a few years ago by Jon Stewart (I think). Stewart was saying they were in a restaurant & Carville came over to his table to talk to him, and the whole time he was talking, Carville was smooshing his hand into Stewart's dessert over and over, without realizing that's what he was doing.
 
2010-01-08 02:26:11 PM  
Is it illegal to wear a giant dildo in your pants when flying?
 
2010-01-08 02:26:20 PM  
gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8lyzsp
(copy and paste, NSFW)


I always pictured Gorgor's penis, I don't know, greener.
 
2010-01-08 02:26:20 PM  
I'm gonna leave'em with a big hairy man bush
 
2010-01-08 02:26:23 PM  
Here in Canuck-istan, if the person is under 18 then no scan......so what about those countries that approve of under age suicide bombers? Who will check their underoos?
 
2010-01-08 02:26:30 PM  
Pornography on my fark?
I am outraged!
 
2010-01-08 02:27:19 PM  
Can it handle negative numbers?
 
2010-01-08 02:27:24 PM  
dlewis6: gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8lyzsp
(copy and paste, NSFW)

I always pictured Gorgor's penis, I don't know, greener.


i envision it as having a pull start
 
2010-01-08 02:28:24 PM  
loonatic112358: dlewis6: gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8lyzsp
(copy and paste, NSFW)

I always pictured Gorgor's penis, I don't know, greener.

i envision it as having a pull start


And hand guards.
 
2010-01-08 02:28:37 PM  
I'm gonna start the newest craze by making sure I always have a raging boner when I go through the scanner. Come on! It'll be fun!
 
2010-01-08 02:29:13 PM  
gorgor: I would be fun to shiat your pants during the scan.

I bet you could get something from GNC that would make your turd show up really well in the scanner. Probably so well it would make the corn look dark and you'd appear to have ready to cook chocolate chip cookie dough batter in your drawers. Assuming you like corn.
 
2010-01-08 02:29:41 PM  
Harry Freakstorm: Welcome Southworst passengers. We will begin boarding for our Flight 347 to Dallas. We are offering immediate seating to gentlemen 7 inches or more. When they have boarded, gentlemen 4 to 6 may board. All others may find a spot on the wing.

Thank you again for flying Southworst. It's not all our fault, you know.


Dude, it's spelled Southwurst.
 
2010-01-08 02:30:19 PM  
I don't think they have scanners big enough for his brass balls.
 
2010-01-08 02:30:34 PM  
Hershey Highway Patrol: loonatic112358: dlewis6: gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8lyzsp
(copy and paste, NSFW)

I always pictured Gorgor's penis, I don't know, greener.

i envision it as having a pull start

And hand guards.


A safety feature? Not on my Gorgor's cock.
 
2010-01-08 02:31:57 PM  
Jsc810 2010-01-08 02:23:52 PM

How come you can see her nipples?
 
2010-01-08 02:32:39 PM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't these new scanners not have cought the underwear bomber anyway?
 
2010-01-08 02:33:18 PM  
This is so farking stupid. We as a nation had an emotional response to 9/11. I get it. But we are still being emotional. There is nothing practical or rational about securing airplanes in particular. The one and only sensible response to 9/11 was both the simplest and most effective response: locking the cockpit doors and not allowing a passenger inside under any circumstances. With that simple policy switch we guaranteed that an airplane would never again be used as a weapon. The point of 9/11 was not to kill a couple hundred people in a plane; it was to kill thousands of people in buildings. Today the most damage any terrorist could ever accomplish by targeting a plane would be to kill the people on it. This would be an absolute travesty, of course, but no more of a tragedy than if the same terrorist killed 100 people in a subway or a shopping mall. It is irrational and hypocritical of us to go to such lengths to secure airplanes in particular. Terrorists will simply switch their targets, and we cannot force everyone to have a full-body scan every time they go to a grocery store or church.

Bottom line: terrorism is rare. The likelihood of being killed by a terrorist is vanishingly small, much smaller than being mauled to death by a wild animal. Are we ever going to be grown-ups and just acknowledge that the risk is there and we should just go on living our lives and stop inconveniencing the hell out of everyone for a mere illusion of security?
 
2010-01-08 02:33:21 PM  
I heard you can refuse the scan and get a pat down instead.
imo its all pretty retarded. the terrorist knows about this scanning crap, i know about it, ofc they know about, they will plan around it. how many bombs/weapons does the hand luggage x-ray catch every year? tell me that.
 
2010-01-08 02:34:04 PM  
duncanIdaho: gorgor: I would be fun to shiat your pants during the scan.

I bet you could get something from GNC that would make your turd show up really well in the scanner. Probably so well it would make the corn look dark and you'd appear to have ready to cook chocolate chip cookie dough batter in your drawers. Assuming you like corn.


Just drink a shot of barium and fluff before walking through. High contrast wood and poo would provide entertainment for all.
 
2010-01-08 02:34:55 PM  
duncanIdaho: gorgor: I would be fun to shiat your pants during the scan.

I bet you could get something from GNC that would make your turd show up really well in the scanner. Probably so well it would make the corn look dark and you'd appear to have ready to cook chocolate chip cookie dough batter in your drawers. Assuming you like corn.


This tread is starting to deliver.
 
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