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(allAfrica.com)   Clergy, condoms: A test of headline writing skills   (allafrica.com) divider line 137
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101 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2003 at 12:33 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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OBB
2003-04-06 12:03:09 PM
So people shouldn't use condoms to prevent the spread of HIV?

This guy is a dumbass par excellence...
 
2003-04-06 12:36:56 PM
OBB, I assume he rather people use abstinence to prevent the spread of HIV :)

Some of you farkers are doing your share!
 
2003-04-06 12:40:41 PM
But the only thing that makes abstinence workable is pr0n, so by implication he endorses that.
 
2003-04-06 12:44:14 PM
"USE of condoms is the easiest way to sin, said Zambia Episcopal Conference (ZEC) secretary general Fr. Ignitius Mwebe yesterday."

No one deserves to get AIDS more than this guy.
 
2003-04-06 12:46:50 PM
I really hate that people cannot come to grips with the fact that abstinence is not, for most people, an option. We humans are wired down to the cell to reproduce, and no amount of reprogramming by educators or clergymen can reverse this. Not to say that our only purpose is to reproduce, or that we are incapable of practicing abstinence for any short period of time, but it is unreasonable for anyone to assume that people can stay fully abstinent for long periods of time. Perhaps it's just that those preaching abstinence here in the States tend to be unreasonable and ultra-conservative old women. I'm tired of school teaching me that abstinence is the best and most morally correct way one can go. At least at my school they understand that almost no one will choose to be abstinent (except maybe the holier-than-thou straightedge kids). I can see this man's cause as noble: he wants to stop the spread of AIDS. However, I think that education will probably be a more effective way of doing this. I've always thought that making it illegal for someone with AIDS to have sex would be a good option, but there are probably repercussions of that that I have not thought of.
My friend's brother had a bunch of condoms that his mother found, she said, "I don't want you getting girls pregnant," and took them away. No, she didn't say, "I don't want you having sex," or, "You're too young to be having sex." She said, "I don't want you getting girls pregnant."
That's my rant. Does anybody else here in the States feel cheated out of an hour?
 
2003-04-06 12:47:10 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....... "come heavy"
 
2003-04-06 12:47:46 PM
Dont use condoms, people. We need more AIDS and teenage mothers and things like that. Because they'll come to church of course, because people who are going to die usually mystically find spiritualism, and teen mothers are generally stupid, so they'll accept our religion even easier! But we cant just say dont use condoms. Let's pretend there are actually people who practice voluntary(sorry Farkers) abstainence. I mean, heck, not even our Priests can handle that.
 
2003-04-06 12:47:50 PM
lolomgrotflwtf
Best headline ever. The actual one, that is. Plus the Fark headline leading-up to it.
 
2003-04-06 12:49:15 PM
I guess pr0n could work for a while. But then wouldn't the priest have to advocate the sale of pr0n?
 
2003-04-06 12:51:56 PM
Just to be safe, wear a condom while watching prOn.
 
2003-04-06 12:53:06 PM
What does consential sex have to do with morals? Assuming both people come of course ;-)
 
2003-04-06 12:53:22 PM
THOU HAST BLASPHEMED
 
2003-04-06 12:58:06 PM
The church is so outdated that it's obsolete. If you need the church to give you hope and a sense of morals, then there are much stronger issues at hand. Maybe therapy would be in order. The church never fails to amaze me in their over-simplification of problems. I'm babbling, I'll shut up, but they really are farking stupid.
 
2003-04-06 01:01:26 PM
Next week's badly worded headline:

Priests to act on porno movies
 
2003-04-06 01:01:45 PM
I guess I don't understand what's the problem. This man represents a collective view taken by leaders of the Episcopalian church - that teaching abstinence is a means that theoretically both helps reduce the spread of AIDS and stays compliant with their other teachings (i.e., no premarital sex). The fact that many people will not practice abstinence is irrelevant. The church is doing it's part in trying to prevent the spread of HIV in its' own way.

Bishop Mususu brings up a point that there are other organizations that promotes condoms to prevent HIV. If you guys all feel strongly about preventing AIDS by using condoms, donate money to these groups and not to the Episcopalian church. But don't harp on the group for following their own beliefs.
 
2003-04-06 01:01:48 PM
Eat the fundies, just not the ones who cought airborn clap from molesting under age boys while on mission. Cause thatd be nasty
 
2003-04-06 01:02:20 PM
Monty python said it best:


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine!
And mine!
And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
 
2003-04-06 01:03:16 PM
come heavy on condoms, that's funny
 
2003-04-06 01:04:18 PM
Headline: funny.

Content: SCARY. I understand that not having sex will keep you from getting HIV. Makes sense. In a perfect world, this would not be a problem because everyone would be able to control their urges, etc. In a perfect world we wouldn't need police officers either, since no one would commit a crime. Using this clergyman's logic, policemen should be fired because we should be focused on telling people not to commit crimes.
 
2003-04-06 01:05:45 PM
I'd like to report a stolen post. It was here a minute ago, and it wasn't that offensive.
 
2003-04-06 01:07:04 PM
Rapid_Eye_Movement

Your friends mother taking away her son's condoms because she didn't want him to get a girl pregnant is the epitome of irony.
 
2003-04-06 01:08:54 PM
Lisa: So even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing?

Rev. Lovejoy: No. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.

Lisa: I see.
 
2003-04-06 01:17:05 PM
Purple_Jack lol
 
OBB
2003-04-06 01:18:12 PM
Wydok - Good analogy
 
2003-04-06 01:19:42 PM
Black_Dog i thought the same thing when i read the article the song just popped in my head
 
2003-04-06 01:21:35 PM
This is representative of the problem we have here in the U.S. Conservative leaders want to live in a world where children don't have any sexual thoughts or feelings until they say it is ok. They refuse to accept the fact that their kids are out groping each other just as much as anyone else's are. Making matters worse, the conservatives prevent anyone who has to deal with reality on a regular basis (schools, medical clinics, social workers)from getting condoms within easy access to these kids who are farking each other's brains out. The best part of the whole situation is the hypocrisy of said conservative men who put these programs in place, yet they get caught all the time with either mistresses, porno collections, or fondling the altar boy.

Religion is such shiat. Can't we all just be nice, and live in reality at the same time?
 
2003-04-06 01:24:26 PM
I bought a condom once...and someday I plan to use it damnit!
 
2003-04-06 01:27:26 PM
It's sad when you have to throw away condoms because they expired. it really really is sad.
 
2003-04-06 01:29:15 PM
A good quality steel belted condom can last a lifetime if properly maintained.
 
2003-04-06 01:32:44 PM
VanillaCoke

Please refer to Wydok's comment for reference.

Seriously, we can't deny the fact that hidden underneath all of those civilized consumerist tendencies, we do have instincts. It just happens, sorry to inform you.
 
2003-04-06 01:35:54 PM
Africa to US: WE need more money and supplies to help with our AIDS problem.

US to Africa: What about all the condoms we sent you?

Africa to US: We told them not to use them.

US to Africa: ...
 
2003-04-06 01:36:18 PM
anyone know where you can buy brand name condoms in large quantities? 10$/12 gets expensive after a while...
 
kez
2003-04-06 01:37:57 PM
hmm
 
2003-04-06 01:38:04 PM
Seriously, we can't deny the fact that hidden underneath all of those civilized consumerist tendencies, we do have instincts. It just happens, sorry to inform you.

Actually, you can. I know of at least 3 "voluntary virgins," as they like to call themselves. So evidently, there are some out there who can repress their instinctual nature.

Bearing this in mind, you'll note that the Bishop didn't call for the Episcopalians to cry out against groups that promote condom usage. All he said was that he felt the church couldn't actively support it. What's so wrong about that?
 
2003-04-06 01:42:22 PM
yes, this is funny, but sad.

This is yet another example of why religion, especially Christianity is detrimental to society. Abstinence is masochism, and unnatural.
 
2003-04-06 01:46:35 PM
"Actually, you can. I know of at least 3 "voluntary virgins," as they like to call themselves. So evidently, there are some out there who can repress their instinctual nature. "

Yeah, umm... more likely:
A: They just can't get laid.
B: They've never had sex, so they don't know what they're missing.

It's easy to go without sex before you've had it.
 
2003-04-06 01:49:28 PM
So rather than admit that humans are weak and prevent the spead of disease among the weak masses, I guess we should pretend that humans are not weak...and watch the masses die a slow agonizing death from HIV/AIDS.

Christian mentality stopped evolving in the Dark Ages.

Pathetic that so many follow such rubbish.
 
2003-04-06 01:49:39 PM
TentaclePr0nRocks - If the urge is so imperative, why do we punish rapists?
 
2003-04-06 01:50:08 PM
The radical christians' Final Solution:

First, all women must be sevrely punished. It was because of Eve becoming Satan's mistress that humans have fallen from the grace of God and all the evils of humanity exist today. Women shall be rounded up and only the most healthiest specimens will be kept in underground holding pens as breeding stock where they will never see the light of day. Those who are unfit to reproduce will be gassed and their bodies burned in mass bonfires.

Second, humanity must be purified. Anyone who is not of pure blood and/or doesn't follow the ways of Christ will be gassed and their bodies burned in mass bonfires. This includes blacks, hispanics, asians, arabs, indians, native peoples, athists, as well as hindues, buddhist, muslims, catholics, jews, and any other heathens or paganists.

Third, anyone who has sinned before God will be gassed and their bodies burned in mass bonfires. This includes homosexuals, prostitutes, pornstars, drug addicts, drug dealers, alcoholics, anyone who steals for personal gain rather than in the name of God, anyone who kills for personal gain rather than in the name of God, and anyone who violates the teachings of Jesus Christ and/or the ten commandments. Adultery is a none factor and step 4 will reveal why.

Fourth, in order for humanity to reproduce, men wishing to have a child can be escorted to the underground breeding pens. There, he can choose from the lot which female he wishes to carry his seed. After the man donates a payment to the church, his semen will be collected and inserted into the chosen female through intra-viro. When the child is born, if it is male it will be delivered to the man shortly after birth. If it is female, it will be kept in a seperate holding pen with other young females until it comes of breeding age, usually at age 15. At which point it will be introduced to the herd.

This post is getting rather long so I'll make my point quickly: Every christian has a little bit of Hitler's Aryan beliefs in them, no matter how small. Hitler was pretty much the Uber Christian and all it will take to restart the Holocaust is the introduction of the Anti-Christ.
 
2003-04-06 01:51:01 PM
It's easy to go without sex before you've had it.

So, uh... if you don't start, what's the problem?
 
2003-04-06 01:51:08 PM
Vanillacoke, ignorance basically. Not that anyone is crying out for action against them, we're just expressing our opinion that THEIR opinion is farked.
 
2003-04-06 01:54:17 PM
I'm not a defender of the protestant church. However, if you consider yourself a christian (Episcopalian, Baptist, Methodist, whatever) part of the doctrine of beliefs that you subscribe to are abstinance until marriage. If you just choose to ignore a certain rule(s) you disagree with, well sir, then you're not a christian. According to the Bible, premarital sex is a sin.
On a different tip, abstinence is a completely viable way to prevent STDs. As humans we have the ability to reason. We use this ability, in conjunction with our instincts, to make decisions. Monkeys, dogs, cats, etc don't have the ability to recognize that they might contract some disease or cause an unwanted pregnancy. Humans can. What makes us human is our ability to know what we want, what we need and make an informed judgment based on that. You don't HAVE to have sex. You don't HAVE to do drugs. If we gave into all our carnal instincts we would merely be well dressed monkeys.

/soapbox
 
2003-04-06 01:54:30 PM
Yeah, umm... more likely:
A: They just can't get laid.
B: They've never had sex, so they don't know what they're missing...It's easy to go without sex before you've had it.


Well, I know for a fact that two could have been laid very easily. Both are good looking women (the other one though...). As far as not knowing what they're missing, maybe that's the point of teaching abstinence. If you refrain from having sex because you don't realize how great it is, then you're also lowering your chances of contracting HIV. So as long as you don't break the seal in the first place, this method will work for you.

I have to go to lunch, but keep posting. I guess I'm trying to understand why there seems to be much hostility towards these Episcopalians for trying to follow their own tenets; and at least in this case respect the rights of other groups to promote condoms. Isn't this the ideal realist situation?
 
2003-04-06 01:59:57 PM
Verdant
anyone know where you can buy brand name condoms in large quantities? 10$/12 gets expensive after a while...

Most college campuses give them away. Unless you look homeless, they shouldnt ask you for your student ID.
 
2003-04-06 02:05:14 PM
Ok. So...basically they're working on getting most of Africa's huamn population cleared out. Then there'll be more room for endangered species.
And who said churches don't support ecology?
 
2003-04-06 02:06:28 PM
Emperor-Jay:

Anti-Christ? Wait, so "the anti-christ" is the same thing as an "uber christian"? Doesn't that seem a little, umm, contradictory?
 
2003-04-06 02:08:07 PM
Correction: Most non-Catholic college campus give them away. Damn nation. They make us walk down the street to the sketchy Texaco if we want some action.
 
2003-04-06 02:08:08 PM
Oops, my last line should be "and all it will take to restart the Holocaust is putting the right type of christian conservative president in the whitehouse.".
 
2003-04-06 02:09:30 PM
Even if you're married in Africa, you should use a condom. They're just so promiscuous there that you can't trust your one and only to be faithful.
 
2003-04-06 02:10:13 PM
Emperor-Jay:

I think GWB fits that bill
 
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