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(Chron)   When you're eating your last meal, you're not worried about the cholesterol count   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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95 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2003 at 10:52 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

126 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-06 09:59:35 AM  
Ah yes, I can still remember the old cholesterol plague of '69. People were dropping like flies on the street, dieing by the thousands. That's when govt health agents started burning down greasy spoons and chicken farms. It's a good thing that cholesterol thing was discovered, otherwise billions of lives would have been lost.
2003-04-06 11:02:15 AM  
That article was about 3.2 times longer than it needed to be.

Amos Lee King, executed in Florida in February, was not allowed to choose a last meal. He had already gotten two, officials said, for previously scheduled executions that were halted at the last minute.

I was going to write something witty in response to the above quote (I copied it to the clipboard), but I forgot what it was now.
2003-04-06 11:02:22 AM  
Richard Head

/Butthead laugh
2003-04-06 11:02:50 AM  
I would have inverted their examples of strange and etherial.
2003-04-06 11:03:08 AM  
that was actually kinda interesting - my problem tho is that I am the best cook I know so my last meal would have to be one prepared by me...

(all from scratch here)

caesar salad - shrimp fettucini alfredo - pineapple cheesecake - chocolate banana milkshake...

2003-04-06 11:03:15 AM  
It would be just my luck, I would eat something high in cholesterol and then get a stay of execution.
2003-04-06 11:06:34 AM  
They have to give you anything, right? Cause if you just keep asking for something that gives you a disease or something, I don't think they're allowed to kill you until you get better. "I want a raw sewer rat, a moldy pizza..."
2003-04-06 11:06:57 AM  
I'd ask for ipecac and a plate of super strong laxatives. I'd be so uncomfortable that I'd be eager to die, and I'd leave my killers a disgusting mess to clean up. No reason to make it easy on them.
2003-04-06 11:06:58 AM  
here is the TDJ list...
2003-04-06 11:09:34 AM  
MisterSpim: Actually the article says it must be available from the prison caf, though they have made exceptions.
2003-04-06 11:12:53 AM  
Damn. Vegan food doesn't contain cholesterol so I'd have no choice but to eat reasonably healthy :(
2003-04-06 11:13:21 AM  
Richard Head Williams

Dick-Head Willy

2003-04-06 11:14:43 AM  
2003-04-06 11:15:06 AM  
Argh_Dammit: Me, too. Relatively simple here, but my self-prepared last meal might be something like-

Smoked chicken wraps with habanero salsa - black beans with yellow saffron rice - vegetable stir-fry - breyer's cherry vanilla ice cream

Of course, if I had to prepare my last meal back in my college days it would've probably been limited to ramen noodles and frozen burritos...
2003-04-06 11:16:58 AM  
must be available from the prison caf

so... i guess you could still ask for hash cookies :)
2003-04-06 11:19:06 AM  
My favorite from the TDJ page is:

"1 bag of assorted Jolly Ranchers" - LOL! Simple but yummy


"Chocolate birthday cake with "2/23/90" written on top, seven pink candles, one coconut, kiwi fruit juice... etc"

UM, LOL!! Pink candles? er ok...

This one was pretty good to:

"None. Last minute he decided to eat a hamburger at his Mother's request"

-- LOL, can't you hear that "Dear, you better eat something before they fry you, we don't want you hungry and all..." hehehe
2003-04-06 11:22:04 AM  
...just make sure they use a STERILIZED needle for the injection.
2003-04-06 11:23:01 AM  
"Richard Head" Williams

Growing up with that wonder the the guy did contract killings.

The first one I'd carry out would be my parents.
2003-04-06 11:24:44 AM  
Just ice:
[image from too old to be available]

Equal tea:
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]

Whirld peas:
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-06 11:36:12 AM  
damn borg - that sounds excellent!

I live in texas so all I gotta do now is kill someone important (not taking requests) and ask that borg from fark prepare my last meal and THEM figure the rest out.
2003-04-06 11:38:48 AM  
Well I should have known.

[image from too old to be available]

The Choice of Murderers.
2003-04-06 11:40:11 AM  
"More coffee, inmate?"

"Yessir. It keeps me awake."
2003-04-06 11:45:30 AM  
Hmmm, well. There's turkey, there's corned beef, there's pot roast, there's Mickey D's french fries (ooooops), there's mashed potatoes...then there's a medium sirloin from Copeland's here in Nawlins. Orgasmic, I tell you.


2003-04-06 11:51:05 AM  
I've always had a fascination with Death Row and executions...don't know why. I often used this as a "though-provoking" question during dull moments at the office: "You're on Death Row, and it's time to order your final meal. What do you choose?"

Most folks that answer say that they don't think they could eat anything.

Another question I ask is: "Your best friend (or your brother/sister) is on Death Row, and has asked you to be one of the witnesses to his execution. Will you be there?"

On a less morbid topic, here's another: "When making a sandwich, do you cut it horizontally (from east to west), vertically (north to south) or diagonally before eating? Or do you eat it whole, without cutting?"

How do Farkers prefer their sandwiches?
2003-04-06 11:51:09 AM  
"What would you like for your last meal, sir?"

"Well, I'd like some arsenic and a very sharp knife to cut it with, please. And for desert, a nice little noose that can hang from the ceiling. And, aw, hell, it's the last meal, no need to worry about calories. Might as well bring me a bowl full of anthrax."
2003-04-06 11:52:57 AM  
Jesus, look at some of the Offender Information on the page with the meals that was posted in this thread. These are some awful people. One of them murdered his son by poisoning his Halloween candy with cyanide.
2003-04-06 11:53:30 AM  
Only in Texas could they compile a sample size sufficient to form the basis for an article.
2003-04-06 11:54:15 AM  
I dunno, I'd try to make my last meal something that would kill me quickly and relatively painlessly. Death by cholesterol probably isn't going to cut it. I'd go with a plate full o' sleeping pills, covered with mashed pototoes and gravy. Also, a bottle of grain alcohol to wash it all down.

/is afraid of the chair
2003-04-06 11:54:52 AM  
Ouisch: I grew up in an east-west household but converted to diagonally after an intense mescaline experience deep in the Mojave Desert back in the '80's. Long story...
2003-04-06 11:55:11 AM  
Sandwich preference: between 'Tastes Great" and "Less Filling".
2003-04-06 11:55:56 AM  
slightly off topic-
I like how they refer to the execution as 'killing' in this article. Normally they're very careful with their words, like 'bringing to death' or something like that. It is of course, killing though. State-sponsored killing.
2003-04-06 12:01:28 PM  

Yup, we're killing 'em. Of course, they don't suffer. Unlike their victims.

I wonder if their victims got the last meal of their choosing.
2003-04-06 12:07:02 PM  
I am served, apparently for the last time.
2003-04-06 12:07:20 PM  
Four fried chickens and a Coke, er, Dr. Pepper.
2003-04-06 12:10:26 PM  
Welcome, to Dinner.

Many of us hope you're right.
2003-04-06 12:10:26 PM  

Diagonally, anyone who employs the horizontal cut is a communist.
2003-04-06 12:11:16 PM  
I hear they won't serve you spaghetti in prison, even if you're on death row because they're afraid you might hang yourself.
2003-04-06 12:11:36 PM  
Is it just me, or do most of the inmates either want a double meat cheeseburger, or fried chicken (sometimes both!)
2003-04-06 12:12:41 PM  
i prefer frenchfried cajuns and moonpies
2003-04-06 12:13:04 PM  
Personally, I'd serve most of these people draino, ground glass, and a big spoon to eat it with.

I know. A giant glass of icy coke. Hopefully there's no bathroom in the after life, at least according to the Bible, it's Hell without relief...
2003-04-06 12:14:10 PM  
If I was on death row, I'd fight tooth and nail. Screw dying with dignity. If you know you're going to die, then I wouldn't be too concerned about being shot by guards while trying to escape.
2003-04-06 12:14:15 PM  
2003-04-06 12:15:16 PM  
kyosuke - this is a perfect reason to eat every meal like it's your last.

If somebody came runnin into my (currently wide open and I live in a really bad hood) front door, I would be able to say that I was ready to go. I am neither depressed nor suicidal, just really good at livin' the way I wanna.

(and yes, I realize you were going for the "sympahy for the victims" thing, but I chose not to play)
2003-04-06 12:19:43 PM  
Cool -- I'll fan the flames...

As much as I'd like to personally put a bullet in heads of some of these murderers -- especially the ones that commit random killings like those in convenience store robberies and carjackings -- the death penalty is wrong. My reactive side says, "Kill the motherfarkers and relieve society of their burden", but my intellectual side says, "Now what did that really accomplish? Do murderers actually care about the penalty of death?".

Personally, I wish there was some island somewhere where we could put them all and just let them rot. But that would be cruel and unusual, right?
shiat, I suck at the flamewar thing, but those are my 2¢ anyhow.
2003-04-06 12:21:42 PM  
I'll have one extra large bag of unpopped popcorn please.

Try cleaning that mess up.
2003-04-06 12:23:19 PM  
Of course, since this it Texas, probably a significant percentage of those on death row are probably innocents convicted by enthusiastic juries guided by overly-zealous procecutors.
2003-04-06 12:23:23 PM  

You make a fine point; I'm reading about the offenders on the TSJ website, and their acts are so senseless and cruel that anything less than death seems inapplicable.'s fruckin' barbaric, and when considering that it costs more money to execute a man that it does to imprison him for life, I just don't see the point.
2003-04-06 12:26:16 PM  

You're generally taking a valium ride by the time the walk comes. From what I've read, almost every inmate experiences an "awakening" per se, accepts his or her fate, and just gives in.

I think if they did me in, I wonder if they would play a requiem during the execution, as sort of a final request?
2003-04-06 12:31:00 PM  
I've always thought that it would be more fair if we set the murderers and families loose on one big island, and the families would have modern comforts and guns, whereas the murderers would have nothing.

2003-04-06 12:32:44 PM  
"If you can provide them with creature comforts, you're going to have a more malleable individual to strap down and to execute."

Unintentional comedy gold!

The TDC list is fascinating. Full of scumbags, but fascinating.
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