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(   Teach your four-year-old to smoke   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
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137 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2003 at 11:06 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

89 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-06 10:03:19 AM  
ASININE? For christs sakes people, babies LOVE to smoke cigarettes! Get'em started early, they'll thank you later in life. Just think how cool your 2 y/o will look. All the other babies will be so jealous.
2003-04-06 11:10:31 AM  
TWO DOLLAR SHOPS?!? Damn! Remember the days where we could always get anything from the dollar shops? Now we need a whole extra dollar... jerks!
2003-04-06 11:12:18 AM  
The hell?
These were around in the 80s already... jeez... not like its a new thing. Rolled up paper with a candy filter, a bit of talc powder, small piece of gauze and shiny red paper at the end.
Like these are any worse than kids being around real people who smoke, or toy guns for that matter, or shock horror toy cars that can be crashed into each other.
Not like the toy cigarettes have any addictive substances in (apart from the penny chew filter - sugar!) any more than the guns have bullets or the cars have little people inside that get hurt.

2003-04-06 11:13:30 AM  
I remember candy cigarettes being sold when I was a kid. They were made of pure sugar and coated in powdered sugar to create the effect of smoke when puffed. Everyone in the school yard had them. Ah, the good old days.
2003-04-06 11:13:57 AM  
Geez, I remember waaaay back in the eighties they had chocolate cigarettes and candy cigarettes. The candy ones sucked...tasted like cardboard, hell, it probably was. Bubble gum cigarettes were pretty bad, too.
2003-04-06 11:13:57 AM  
"Clerks" references in 5...4...3....
2003-04-06 11:17:24 AM  
Hey I remember the chocolate ones. They were tasty. The white candy ones with the end painted red sucked though.
2003-04-06 11:17:35 AM  
Anti-smoking lobbyists are outraged after discovering $2 Shops are selling replica cigarettes and cigars that emit a white, smoke-like substance when puffed.
The toys are made by Chinese company Ming Shing. The packaging has no information about the ingredients, but warns it could be a choking hazard and should be kept from children aged under three.

The funny part is that these things are probably loaded with the chemicals normally found in cheap Chinese products (especially papers and plastics) and they are probably more unhealthy than regular cigarettes.
2003-04-06 11:18:11 AM  
Heh, I loved those candy cigarettes!


[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-06 11:18:58 AM  
I wonder if they'll be banned in restataunts and bars?
2003-04-06 11:19:26 AM  
I personally find it bizarre that someone would make candy cigarettes for children. I bought them a few time as a kid because I thought they were cool but it was too little chocolate for too much money.

I remember the 'fake' cigarettes that blow smoke too.. they were advertised to be used to freak out your parents. Hmm.
2003-04-06 11:20:02 AM  
Devs--Hell, I remember Five and Dimes. Talk about old.
2003-04-06 11:20:22 AM  
I'd rather teach mine to masturbate.
2003-04-06 11:22:24 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
C'mon kids, we goin' shoppin!
2003-04-06 11:23:10 AM  
[image from too old to be available]


...who cares not like many kids buy this shiat.
2003-04-06 11:23:25 AM  
My aunt's friend's lid could roll a joint by for years of age. He's in prison now...coincidence, I reckon.
2003-04-06 11:23:30 AM  
Hell, I had to start smoking real cigarettes to come down from the sugar rush of candy cigarettes.
2003-04-06 11:24:03 AM  
Personally, I think everybody should try some Chewlies gum instead.....
And....waht the Fark is a "Lolly" cigarette?? sounds kinda kinky
2003-04-06 11:24:24 AM  
Not "lid"..."kid".
Wonder what's on my mind this morning.
2003-04-06 11:25:35 AM  
sPeliNg hArrd..noTt knOw.
2003-04-06 11:29:05 AM  
My 4 year old only smokes after sex, so I guess it's ok.
2003-04-06 11:31:46 AM  

That is SO sick.
2003-04-06 11:32:10 AM  
I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!

/Ren & Stimpy
2003-04-06 11:33:11 AM  
I'm only 17 and I remember candy cigarettes from when I was a kid. I used to get them all the time, even though they tasted like shiat. They were the white ones with the red painted on the end like someone mentioned earlier... and I do believe they were made out of corrugated cardboard. And yet I still kept buying them. Mmm, addictive.
2003-04-06 11:34:49 AM  
Hmm, how about people just don't buy them for their kids.

Kind of like I wouldn't buy my two-year-old an axe.
2003-04-06 11:41:27 AM  
Llarken, that would require people to be logical and say NO to their children.
2003-04-06 11:42:40 AM  
Well, actually, children tend to have some pocket money of their own...
2003-04-06 11:43:55 AM  
I had these 20 years ago. They were cool
2003-04-06 11:44:32 AM  
Good point, Cola, perhaps teach them to make better choices with their money.
2003-04-06 11:44:52 AM  
you could get those in Comedy Stores when I was a kid, better to pretend than to smoke real cancersticks.
2003-04-06 11:45:10 AM  
farking Hell that is scary!

Damn, I miss my candy Cigarettes!@
2003-04-06 11:45:59 AM  
Cola: Yes, but most responsible parents I know have right to veto.

Of course, they makes up about .01% of the parenting population :P
2003-04-06 11:48:57 AM  
(For the record, I would actually probably allow my son to buy these when he's 7 or older...they have very little to do with real cigarettes and a mature child would know this, just like video games are not a very good depiction of reality. I, too, bought candy cigs in my youth and I do not smoke)
2003-04-06 11:56:37 AM  
Those little wax bottles with juice(?) in them set me on a liflong habit of drinking.
2003-04-06 11:56:55 AM  
Tommyymmot, if voting were enabled, you'd get my vote.
2003-04-06 11:57:25 AM  
Oh, God, burn the Universe: something that might lead to someone thinking about something that might turn out bad might happen.

Am I the only one who thinks that, as a result of all this sheltering/useless fear/censoring that the PC Police are foisting upon us, that in about 20 years, we're going to be overrun with so many vices that everyone will just keel over? Our culture has gotten so used to de-emphasizing the individual's responsibility to use their brains that eventually, we won't.

Reminds me of that moronic Fundamentalist saying: if you keep your mind open, the Devil will get in. Well, sure he will, if you're a complete idiot in the first place. Eventually, if we keep this up, there will be a LOT more of these idiots.

2003-04-06 12:02:01 PM  
I'd rather teach mine to masturbate.

If you've got an 18 yr old daughter, I can be there to tutor lickety split
2003-04-06 12:03:43 PM  
Hell, I had the same ciggies as a kid. Blow in the filter and the powder looks like smoke. They were really cool.

Uhh, then I smoked for 35 years...
2003-04-06 12:08:20 PM  
I like to go into the dollar shops and ask them how much different items cost.
2003-04-06 12:16:51 PM  

The point of this is, four year olds aren't really capable to think of things logically. They let anything and everything said to them into their heads without passing it through the "does this make any sense?" filters. Being trained at a young age that smoking is fun will help bypass those filters later in life.

Of course, a lot of adults do this too.

/holds back OT rant
2003-04-06 12:19:40 PM  
I applaud these (as a stockholder in Altria). MORE MORE MORE!
2003-04-06 12:26:16 PM  
Isn't this new zealand? So if their dollar is equal to roughly half of a US dollar (the exchange rate was something around there last i looked), and the US has dollar stores, then $2 shops over there sort of make sense.

My dad used to get the white chalky ones with the painted red tips for me when i was around 5. They actually tasted good to me then. Of course, with every box came a lecture about how bad smoking was (even though he smoked at the time.) Around then i started developing a taste for making my parents (indirectly, of course) admit what hypocrites they are.

I didn't start smoking real cigs until i was around 20, and I never smoked more than 2 or 3 cigs a day. Now it's purely social, and since I don't get out much, I hardly ever puff anymore. *cough* *insert some saying about how everyone eventually turns into their parents*

Oh, and isn't talc powder a carcinogen? I find it disturbing how many different things meant specifically for human consumption or application (pills especially) contain talc. It's sooooooooooooo funny how in theory, candy cigarettes aren't supposed to be bad like real cigarettes, but if they've got talc in them...
2003-04-06 12:32:34 PM  
lickety split

I love it when you talk like that.
2003-04-06 12:34:06 PM  
Must suck to be a kid nowadays. Back in the Glorious 60s I had toy guns that you could use in a real holdup, toys based on hotplates that could cause second degree burns, stuff that'd leave a welt at ten yards, dozens of things that could put your eye out... lawn darts. Remember lawn darts? G.I. Joe with Kung-Fu grip, pushing NV out of helicopters... "Maybe you want to talk now, huh Charlie?"

Oh dear. I seem to have gone to a Bad Place. Sorry about that.
2003-04-06 12:40:00 PM  
Or you could teach him to over-hyphenate...

I miss the candy cigs, and the blue and red gum cigars.
2003-04-06 12:40:14 PM  
LookanematodeOh, and isn't talc powder a carcinogen?

So is sunlight. I've heard that saliva can cause stomach cancer, but only if ingested in small quantities over a long period of time.
2003-04-06 12:40:52 PM  
oh, please. These have been around for a long, long time. Hysterical people need to receive a real education about life before they open their mouths. That or they should stay in the convent and keep their traps shut.
2003-04-06 12:41:56 PM  
Talc isn't a carcinogen, but it does cause obstrictive lung disease. Of course, plaintiff's attorneys and witch-doctors they pay to testify try and establish a link, while ignoring smoking habits, asbestos exposure, etc...
2003-04-06 12:46:54 PM  
Nanny culture. C'mon folks. Take some responsibility for your kids. IF you dont want them playing with them then don't buy them. What 2 year old has money, and for that matter, can reach the counter?
2003-04-06 01:00:19 PM  
Kpar90: ah, thanks for the info. Bad science/law sucks. So talc isn't as "bad" as i thought it was, but it's still not great.

Doctechnical: yes, it's a horrible world we live in. My aunt was recently successfully treated for a melanoma that was most probably caused by her "sun-worship" (leatherskin, ugh), and when I was small, a neighbor got hit in the head by another neighbor's wayward lawn-dart and lost a lot of the control on the right side of her body...had to learn to write with her left hand and everything.

But I do think that people should back off on the toy guns and candy cigs. In and of themselves, they can't hurt anyone. Well, not any moreso than most other things in life.
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