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(NJ.com)   High school baseball coach encourages players to masturbate instead of having sex, and to ignore that little red LED over there   (nj.com) divider line 53
    More: Dumbass, sexual misconduct, Bartholomew McInerney, child endangerment, NJ Transit, sexual acts, witness stands, Charles Uliano, DVR  
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22381 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2010 at 5:34 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-07 01:24:26 AM  
You know, there are entirely legal porn sites that cater to this fantasy. Trying to do it yourself is just asking for trouble, especially when you're a teacher and they're minors.

I'm not usually an advocate of paying for porn, but this guy sounds like he needs a "broke straight boys" subscription.
 
2010-01-07 01:38:28 AM  
I had this gym teacher in grade nine who was obsessed with my legs. He used to feel them all the time "to check on my muscle development" and had me come work out after school saying I could be a runner with a little training. Then he would have me do all these strange poses so he could photograph me to monitor my development.

The funny part is, it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I suddenly went "Heeeeeey! Wait a minute... that can't be normal. Dammit! I was unwittingly feeding some old man's boy-leg fetish." What can I say. I was a horribly sexually naive kid.

Same teacher used to have "shower day" once a month where he would force us all to take a shower after gym class while he watched to make sure we did it. I always hated that as I was terribly shy and a late developer in the body hair department.

Grade 7/8 gym/history teacher used to just tell me I was a really hot girl. In his defence he did see me dressed up as a girl for a play once.
 
2010-01-07 01:48:16 AM  
What a complete toolbox. I hope they give him the chair. Everyone knows you're supposed to put a piece of black tape over the LED.
 
2010-01-07 04:28:11 AM  
Ghastly
So what you are saying is that you regret missing an opportunity to fark your gym teacher.

/That's what I'm hearing...
//Not that there's anything wrong with it...
 
2010-01-07 04:59:00 AM  
"When you hear all of the testimony, when you hear what actually transpired here, you're going to say 'you know, Mr. McInerney, you used very bad judgment but you did not violate the law,'' Uliano said. "He never would harm anyone, never would abuse anyone, let alone one of these young men."

pretty cocky.
 
2010-01-07 05:46:48 AM  
Ghastly: I had this gym teacher in grade nine who was obsessed with my legs. He used to feel them all the time "to check on my muscle development" and had me come work out after school saying I could be a runner with a little training. Then he would have me do all these strange poses so he could photograph me to monitor my development.

The funny part is, it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I suddenly went "Heeeeeey! Wait a minute... that can't be normal. Dammit! I was unwittingly feeding some old man's boy-leg fetish." What can I say. I was a horribly sexually naive kid.

Same teacher used to have "shower day" once a month where he would force us all to take a shower after gym class while he watched to make sure we did it. I always hated that as I was terribly shy and a late developer in the body hair department.

Grade 7/8 gym/history teacher used to just tell me I was a really hot girl. In his defence he did see me dressed up as a girl for a play once.


That's very common. I think I might have been molested, but I'm just not sure it happened. It just never occurred to me. It was just an awkward situation.

Then 16 years later, "Oh shiat, I got raped!"

/well, not really.
 
2010-01-07 05:49:58 AM  
From TFA: they're being asked to masturbate

...which is like asking them to breathe.

/former male teenager
 
2010-01-07 05:52:02 AM  
The better cameras have a blue LED.
 
2010-01-07 05:54:09 AM  
Ghastly:

Same teacher used to have "shower day" once a month where he would force us all to take a shower after gym class while he watched to make sure we did it. I always hated that as I was terribly shy and a late developer in the body hair department.



Strange, I had a PE teacher who always told us to go to the showers because 'you're all sticky and messy after the run/football etc, so shower..you'll feel better for your next class'.

Which is true, but did he have to take a look at us showering?

Also had a creepy Maths teacher who used to stop me in the halls and stand real close to me and look down at me - I was only small then - and keep eye contact and a wry grin on his face as he asked me mundane shiat like what class I was going to, did I like it and stuff.

Gave me the creeps since he wasn't even my Maths teacher. And he did it quite often too. And he use to stand just a bit too close for comfort. Strange thing was that he was actually good looking, and not a psycho-pedo looking teacher. He had the Ted Bundy about him, I suppose.


Also had a history teacher that was once busted for engaging in man sex in the public toilets. Made the papers!! Buckhaven High School was frikkin' famous! Yeah!
 
2010-01-07 06:08:51 AM  
jehovahs witness protection: The better cameras have a blue LED.

My underage gay porn is always a bit grainy.
 
2010-01-07 06:26:38 AM  
Baseball team? No, I'd prefer the softball team...

/hooray for stocky girls!
//Oh hai, Mr. Hansen... what are you doing here?
 
2010-01-07 06:28:43 AM  
www.spscriptorium.com

"Ok, we're gonna take pictures of you kids spankin' it, in case we need them later."
 
2010-01-07 06:32:50 AM  
By all accounts, Bartholomew McInerney was a well-respected high school baseball coach who cared about his players on and off the field.

By all accounts, a little too much. Sick.
 
2010-01-07 07:02:11 AM  
Ahhh the girls at my highschool were so damn fine, and as someone who went to 4 different highschools I can't tell you the one I went in San Antonio had the most amazing looking white girls, without bordering over to the valley look ever.

/To bad I never got to have sex with any of them.
 
2010-01-07 07:09:55 AM  
When I was fourteen, my baseball coach asked to see my jock strap. I was scared, but wanted him to see what lay beneath the polyester twill of my baseball pants. Its only shameful the first time.
 
2010-01-07 07:16:06 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2010-01-07 07:24:22 AM  
This thread is giving me an erection.
 
2010-01-07 07:48:15 AM  
Assistant principal Dunbar?
 
2010-01-07 07:59:30 AM  
At my school we took showers fully clothed and spent the rest of the class in the "tornado room" where we'd dry off.
 
2010-01-07 08:01:53 AM  
So THAT'S what the fans mean when a batter steps up to the plate and cry "little stick"!
 
2010-01-07 08:10:56 AM  
"High school baseball coach encourages players to masturbate instead of having sex, and to ignore that little red LED over there"

No need to ask how this got greenlit on Fark.

/let the fapping commence
 
2010-01-07 08:55:33 AM  
Ghastly 2010-01-07 01:38:28 AM

I had this gym teacher in grade nine who was obsessed with my legs. He used to feel them all the time "to check on my muscle development" and had me come work out after school saying I could be a runner with a little training. Then he would have me do all these strange poses so he could photograph me to monitor my development.

The funny part is, it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I suddenly went "Heeeeeey! Wait a minute... that can't be normal. Dammit! I was unwittingly feeding some old man's boy-leg fetish." What can I say. I was a horribly sexually naive kid.



Don't act like you didn't like it


/victimless crime
 
2010-01-07 09:30:00 AM  
If the allegation that he tried to record one in a beatin' it is true, then this guy is slime. Otherwise, suggesting to teenagers that they masturbate seems pretty unnecessary but not pedo-bear material.
 
2010-01-07 09:43:10 AM  
My high school track coach told us not to kiss any other member of the team as we shouldn't be spreading around sickenesses within the team. Or helping spread mono.

And we weren't allowed to masturbate three days before a track meet.
 
2010-01-07 09:54:12 AM  
He was just teaching them how to throw the high hard one. Or maybe take a base on balls?
 
2010-01-07 09:56:21 AM  
Jeez, some of you were gullible kids.
 
2010-01-07 09:58:29 AM  
Ghastly:

Grade 7/8 gym/history teacher used to just tell me I was a really hot girl. In his defence he did see me dressed up as a girl for a play once.


To be fair, you do make for a pretty hot girl, based on your profile pics.
 
2010-01-07 10:03:38 AM  
Had a hot female bio teacher in Junior high who kept hounding me to stop by after class to 'help her with setting up her computer' (wink wink)

So I finally mustered up the courage to drop by her room after class, whereupon she did indeed need me to help set up her computer.

Dammit.

I did however have a male gym teacher who insisted on throwing our towels to us as we came out of the showers after gym - some kids had observed that he always threw a little high, so you'd have to jump...
 
2010-01-07 10:10:40 AM  
Impasse: Assistant principal Dunbar?

"Uh, rule #5: while I am ejaculating, the boys' gymnastics team must undress each other, spread-eagle in front of me, and satisfy each other orally until I have completed, uh, ejaculating.

Uh, finally, uh rule #6: any student caught writing graffiti or defacing school property will be automatically suspended, unless they are, uh, masturbating.

If you have any question about these new rules and regulations, uh, I will be in my office, uh, spanking it, with a thumb up my arse... uh, good day."
 
2010-01-07 10:56:25 AM  
I don't think I'd ever want to be a high school gym teacher. Several people have mentioned their gym teacher 'looking in on them' while they were showering...but really, if I were a gym coach...you would probably want to at least glance in to check on the kids every now and then, just to make sure they're not beating up one of the band nerds or stuffing towels down the drain and flooding the shower room. (After all, you leave teenage guys alone long enough and someone will be killed and/or something destroyed.) But nowadays, you have to be worried of being accused of sexual misconduct.
 
2010-01-07 11:05:41 AM  
Ghastly: I had this gym teacher in grade nine who was obsessed with my legs. He used to feel them all the time "to check on my muscle development" and had me come work out after school saying I could be a runner with a little training. Then he would have me do all these strange poses so he could photograph me to monitor my development.

Did this gym teacher have a son who was quite athletic and excelled in gymnastics, pommel horse etc, and did said gym teacher ever WINK at you?

Go Sabres!
 
2010-01-07 11:08:25 AM  
Ah, Coach from L4D2. Got that for Christmas. Hmm, I always chose the shotgun for the melee weapon, just doesn't seem like you can wail enough with the axe (or the frying pan etc)

ZOMBIES!!!
 
2010-01-07 11:09:46 AM  
kid_icarus: I don't think I'd ever want to be a high school gym teacher. Several people have mentioned their gym teacher 'looking in on them' while they were showering...but really, if I were a gym coach...you would probably want to at least glance in to check on the kids every now and then, just to make sure they're not beating up one of the band nerds or stuffing towels down the drain and flooding the shower room. (After all, you leave teenage guys alone long enough and someone will be killed and/or something destroyed.) But nowadays, you have to be worried of being accused of sexual misconduct.

Well, rule of thumb - if you have a handy folding chair so you can relax and ogle at the same time, you may have crossed the 'checking in' line some time ago.
 
2010-01-07 11:24:57 AM  
michaelscomments.files.wordpress.com

If you have any urges you can't suppress with hard alcohol. use this!
 
2010-01-07 12:13:54 PM  
jack21221: Ghastly:

Grade 7/8 gym/history teacher used to just tell me I was a really hot girl. In his defence he did see me dressed up as a girl for a play once.

To be fair, you do make for a pretty hot girl, based on your profile pics.


When I read that, curiosity got the best of me. Then I found Ghastly's webcomic. I've loved that comic for a while now.

"Eek! A tentacle monster!"
 
2010-01-07 12:22:05 PM  
Apart from a gigantic black guy who never did anything creepy, all of my gym teachers in high school were women. Most of them were fat, and in hindsight, I now assume they were all lesbians.

Which leaves me wondering if they did anything to the girls in my classes. Were they forced to shower together? Did they have to...

Never mind.

I gotta go.
 
2010-01-07 12:35:16 PM  
FeeltheIllinoise: If you have any urges you can't suppress with hard alcohol. use this!

don't forget sportsmanship

/sportsmanship
 
2010-01-07 12:48:43 PM  
This thread makes me want to be a high school gym teacher.
 
2010-01-07 12:56:57 PM  
"Put me in, coach!"
 
2010-01-07 01:26:07 PM  
i874.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-07 02:38:33 PM  
I wonder if any of them looked like this:

ohmidge.files.wordpress.com

www.femmefan.com

lh3.ggpht.com

They're all legal, you pervs.
 
2010-01-07 03:56:25 PM  
I really oppose coercion and manipulation of other people but haven't we really set the bar pretty low for what counts as being victimized these days? Jesus. Are any of these boys actually harmed? Yes, this guy was a dick and kind of creepy. But come on.
 
2010-01-07 04:09:01 PM  
DeerNuts: I wonder if any of them looked like this:

They're all legal, you pervs.


I'll take the last one, please. He's the only one not overly muscled.
 
2010-01-07 04:31:35 PM  
krusher: .

Did this gym teacher have a son who was quite athletic and excelled in gymnastics, pommel horse etc, and did said gym teacher ever WINK at you?

Go Sabres!


LOL No, this was the year of the teacher's strike so my dad sent me to live up north with my grandmother for a year because there were rumours the strike would cost us the year.

None of the teachers at ol' SCS seemed terribly interested in molesting me. There was one who seemed to be particularly interested in demonstrating wrestling moves on me but I think that was just because I was the best wrestler in the class.
 
2010-01-07 04:34:09 PM  
Darth_Lukecash: Ghastly
So what you are saying is that you regret missing an opportunity to fark your gym teacher.

/That's what I'm hearing...
//Not that there's anything wrong with it...


If he was hot, oh yeah. Sadly he was horribly out of shape, unattractive and about 60 years old.
 
2010-01-07 04:43:43 PM  
jessicat: DeerNuts: I wonder if any of them looked like this:

They're all legal, you pervs.

I'll take the last one, please. He's the only one not overly muscled.


Ahem, may I mention that I too am certainly not what you'd call 'overly muscled'.
 
2010-01-07 04:46:19 PM  
FuturePastNow: all of my gym teachers in high school were women. Most of them were fat, and in hindsight, I now assume they were all lesbians.


What? Lesbians teaching gym in highschool? I find that concept shocking and entirely unbelievable.
 
2010-01-07 05:07:27 PM  
"No Mikey, you need to choke up on it a little. Here, let me show you."
 
2010-01-07 06:35:29 PM  
Jster422: Ahem, may I mention that I too am certainly not what you'd call 'overly muscled'.

I'm certain for those there's an embarrassment of riches here on Fark.
 
2010-01-07 07:29:20 PM  
The gym teacher I had in 7th grade instructed us to shower thusly:
Step 1: Get undressed
Step 2: Get wet and soapy
Step 3: Come to me so that I can see or feel that you're soapy
Step 4: Rinse
Step 5: Get a towel

I followed the five step shower exactly once. She decided I didn't look soapy, so she reached out to feel me to see if I was slippery.
After that, I took my showers the regular way - wrapping in the towel until I was in the shower and then wrapping in the towel for the way out of the shower. There were only a couple of us that did that. Everyone else lined up for their daily 'are you soapy?' check.


Why yes, she was a rather mannish looking woman.
 
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