That ranks high on the awesome scale. Fangs for spotting this, subby.

Shanghainanigans

"Then he went to my mother's bed and whipped her bed with his tail. I woke up then and smelled something burning, and saw my mother's electric blanket was on fire so I leapt up and turned it off.

A grown man sharing the same bedroom with his mom would be considered beyond disgusting in America. In rural China, it's perfectly normal.

China may have money, but that money is in the hands of very few and the "have nots" still live in the 3rd world over there.

I'm doubtful.

China is probably quite '3rd world' in places, but it's not '3rd world' to share a bedroom with someone else. Just like nakedness != sex, sleeping in the same room != sex either. It's just not very suburban American.

"I treated it with herbal medicines, and somehow it still in 20 days it recovered," Yu said.

"Long Long grabbed my clothes with his teeth and whipped the bed with his tail."
You mean the snake attacked you. Probably wanted a snack while it waited for your mother to roast. And this.

Snakes have teeth in China?

Though local reptile experts say snakes simply don't have the brainpower to behave in such a way, Yu insists the snake saved his life.

I'm sure they have the brainpower to get the hell away from fire, which is likely what it was trying to do. This guy just happened to be in the way when the snake was getting the fark out of Dodge.

rcain
China may have money, but that money is in the hands of very few and the "have nots" still live in the 3rd world over there.

That is always the case with industrialization, whether done in a capitalist nation such as the USA in the early twentieth century or a socialist nation like China in the late twentieth century. It cannot ever be even, first poor workers in the most heavily industrialized cities gain middle class wages, next small business and service workers in those cities acquire middle class by providing services to those workers.

Next it spreads to nearby cities, and very last it spreads to the countryside, but never completely. Meanwhile a few individuals get very rich, which is a good thing as they provide both the capital for further expansion, and the market for high status goods.

All the anti-capitalist and anti-globalist crap that has been written in the last century was because of sheer ignorance. Industrialization is never even or total, but it sure as hell beats the crap our of grinding poverty for all.

GCD: Though local reptile experts say snakes simply don't have the brainpower to behave in such a way, Yu insists the snake saved his life.

I'm sure they have the brainpower to get the hell away from fire, which is likely what it was trying to do. This guy just happened to be in the way when the snake was getting the fark out of Dodge.

Yeah, pretty much this.

I'm not buying this story. Why would a Chinese guy in China name his snake Long Long? I think the reporter just made that up for her own amusement.
"Snake gets uncomfortable in a burning bedruoom. Great. So, what's that snake's name? Xiaoquongbak-Taolinghai? Whatever... Long Long. They totally like saying stuff like that."

Dear lord it's reincarnated baby Jesus snake! Wait until it re-evolves arms and nail it to something!

I don't believe this one for a moment, that is unless we knew Zeus was guiding the snake.

BenJammin: I don't believe this one for a moment, that is unless we knew Zeus was guiding the snake.

If it were Zeus the snake would have impregnated the mom.

Yeah, and my pet housefly chased away a mugger the other day.

This is just a 3rd-world fantasy. Like those stories from India about man eating trees and such.

ID:

Capitalism, yea!


//Is there anything
//it can't do?

FTA One night, while Yu was sleeping, he says he felt something cold on his face and awoke to find Long Long.

/........unfortunately for Yu, the other drunken frat boys had already taken his photograph and posted them on Facebook.

vodka:
This is just a 3rd-world fantasy. Like those stories from India about man eating trees and such.

Their bark is worse than their bite.

I got a snake, man! One time, I fed it some beer, man! It was slithering this way and that. It was all farked up!

Family mistakes snake's attack for warning about coincidental house fire, "Long Long grabbed my clothes with his teeth and whipped the bed with his tail."

Pvt Joker :
I got a snake, man! One time, I fed it some beer, man! It was slithering this way and that. It was all farked up!

Thank you for reminding me of that audio bit. That whole CD was full of Awesome.

FishInABowl: Snakes have teeth in China?

Yes, snakes have teeth.

"Then he went to my mother's bed and whipped her bed with his tail. I woke up then and smelled something burning, and saw my mother's electric blanket was on fire so I leapt up and turned it off."

So, Yu's mom can't tell that she is on fire and the snake has to struggle to wake up Yu and then whip mom, at which point Yu finally realizes that mom is on fire.

Sounds like Yu and his mom shared a little too much sacred wine the night before.

sirgrim: Dear lord it's reincarnated baby Jesus snake! Wait until it re-evolves arms and nail it to something!

No need for it to grow arms. Where do think the Festivus pole came from?

Approves... only so the silly humans can be eaten later.

I can just hear Stephen Colbert saying, "Yu Feng has nobody to thank but ... St. Patrick".

So now we're even outsourcing our attention whoring to China?

Free trade indeed.

/Snakes and Whips, Whips and Snakes

Long Long??!

APPROVES

Leskay: Long Long??!

APPROVES

Damnit. That's why I came in here.

/DONGER NEED FOOD!

badgers unavailable for comment

vodka: Yeah, and my pet housefly chased away a mugger the other day.

This is just a 3rd-world fantasy. Like those stories from India about man eating trees and such.

Or the dogs and cats in America saving the family from fire
/Pretty sure all animals want to get the fark out of a fire
//If your dog really wanted to save your life it would dial 911 for you or bring you the fire extinguisher

Snakes have teeth in China?

No, the teeth are in there mouths...

mephisto6: I'm not buying this story. Why would a Chinese guy in China name his snake Long Long?

Long is Chinese for dragon. When you repeat a word in Chinese, it's kind of like making a cutesy name for it, like turning "dog" to "doggy" in English.

So maybe he actually named it "Little dragon", which is a pretty cool name for a snake. Personally, I would name mine Professor Fitzgibbons.

Long Long is up there with Bitey and Pinchy in awesome animal names.

Tentacle: badgers mongoose unavailable for comment

"Long Long grabbed my clothes with his teeth and whipped the bed with his tail"

My snake doesn't know how to sign. He's an unsigned long long. He does know how to roll over, though.

ARRGH! Snake! A snaaake... snaaaaake! OooooOoh, it's a snaaaake...

ishus37: Damnit! What are you doing, trying to make us smarter?

/tnx

Was the snake's name Nathan?

sank you, rong-rong!

Reminds me of the guy from a few months ago who had made "friends" with a gigantic farking crocodile. Does anybody know if I missed the inevitable followup article?

samuel l. jackson realizes the motherfarking plane was actually on fire and he completely misinterpreted what those motherfarking snakes were doing.