The fact that dad paid for school entitles him to bring whomever he'd like to the ceremony. This chick should put on her big girl panties and suck it up for the day.

kronicfeld: I think that's one of the Five Pillars of Farkslam

the pillars
1. all women are selfish spoiled whores
2. pray to Drew five times a day
3. fast during the month of Alton Brown's birthday
4. give freely of contempt to poor liters
5. if possible, make a pilgrimage to a Fark party

Sounds like one spoiled little beyotch brat you got there, Daddy...

kronicfeld: Right. All women are selfish spoiled whores whose sole purpose for existence is to squander YOUR hard-earned money. I think that's one of the Five Pillars of Farkslam.

I seem to recall Chris Rock's bit about divorce. It may ring true here.

"If you make 30 million dollars and you gotta give up half to your wife, you ain't starvin'! But if you make 30 thousand...you might have to kill her! 'What you think I'm movin' back in with my mama 'cause you ain't in love?! You gon' have to die!'"

The graduation is obviously a big deal to the daughter. She has worked very hard to graduate, this is her thing and she should decide who gets to come to it. If the dad has any respect for his daughter he would leave the skank home.

WTFDYW: klymen

As someone stated above, if she starts paying back the tuition with interest, the skank stays home, otherwise, STFU and get dressed for graduation.

She didn't ask the dad to pay for it, he did it out his own merit. The graduation is a personal event for someone, if she doesn't want the girlfriend there, then she shouldn't be there. The dad can take the girlfriend to his own graduation.

/unless he told her that deciding who comes to the graduation is one of the conditions for paying the tuition, the girlfriend should stay home and make a sandwich.

thalassatx: You're in medical school, graduating from it no less, and you're whining that your father's girlfriend ruins EVERYTHING?

that struck me, too.

she sounds immature. "Paging Dr. Steffi, Dr. Steffi, please come to radiology. You forgot your Barbie purse."

brigid_fitch: The woman's a coont, and a whiny one, at that. She doesn't get to dictate to her father what he can or can't do--if he wants to bring his girlfriend to the graduation, she should behave like an adult and suck it up. She doesn't have to like the woman but she does have to respect her father's choices.

Well if you're going to take that route...

Her father doesn't get to dictate who she gives the graduation tickets too. She's a full grown adult. The fact her father gave her charity does not mean she needs to suck it up and suffer his mistress - charity with strings attached is not charity. If anything, he needs to suck it up and leave the miserable mistress at home.

/doesn't think it really matters
//just playing being a DA.

Talon: The fact her father gave her charity does not mean she needs to suck it up and suffer his mistress - charity with strings attached is not charity

correct. but it doesn't excuse her from the obligation to be civil and courteous to him. i think that womaning up and suffering through one event with the girlfriend is little skin off her back.

albo: correct. but it doesn't excuse her from the obligation to be civil and courteous to him. i think that womaning up and suffering through one event with the girlfriend is little skin off her back.

Oh I agree that that it is not a big deal to suffer his girlfriend for a single day, even if it is her graduation. However we don't know enough about the situation.

For all we know the father is an emotionally uninvolved typical rich douchebag with a hot young mistress-turned-girlfriend who ignores his kids except to cut them checks once in a while - and he thinks that this is all it takes to be a "good" parent. What's telling is that the mistress has been treating the girl like shiat and her meal-ticket-daddy has done nothing to stop it. What sort of doting father to a spoiled rotten princess let's that sort of behavior slide? Even if she is the snowflake princess everyone thinks she is, the mere act of cutting her a check for her education is not enough to say he deserves her respect without knowing more.


Though one thing that really rubs me the wrong way is the notion that parents automatically deserve respect simply for being your genetic contributors.

Coming from a household with subpar parents (an alcoholic drug abuser and a bipolar monster that committed suicide when I was still a kid)... the notion that people automatically deserve respect or that their deplorable behavior should be excused just because they birthed you and did their duty to rear you (a duty freely chosen when they opted to give birth and not put you up for adoption) just doesn't hold water with me.

Simply put: respect is earned, including family.

Lando Lincoln: I don't hate women, but when she said, "she actually ruins most things for me" then I knew we were dealing with a selfish person.

I don't think those words were ever uttered by someone that wasn't a spoiled brat.

Bingo. Aside from the fact, of course, that her father has saved her from decades of student loan payments and she can't suck up seeing his GF for an hour.

OlafTheBent: "Take your pick dear"

If I were in that situation, approached dad, and he made the girlfriend come in on the conversation right away like that?

He'd be right out. Oh, I'd pay him back his money, but that would be a pretty serious "I've chosen my GF, so FU" from him, in my book.

Dad needs to talk to the daughter in CONFIDENCE before bringing the GF into it. And saying "my GF is the witness on you paying the money back?" Again, no.

Ideally, daughter explains that GF is critical or whatever, Dad understands this, if GF still has to come to grad, then fine, but hopefully Dad can be aware and try to nip any friction in the bud if the GF starts in with the criticizing. So then ideally both can attend.

The GF and daughter don't have to like each other, they're not family unless they both agree to it. They should be civil to one another.

klymen: If the dad has any respect for his daughter he would leave the skank home.

Ideally the daughter can talk to Dad ALONE and they can agree either on that OR on letting the GF attend, but Dad trying to head off any friction.

But daughter needs to talk to Dad. I thought the advice columnist was on the money with that one.