FTFA:

He was transported to the police station where he allegedly continued his disorderly behavior and urinated several times in the interview room.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

From my own personal collection:



Yes, that kid has a spectacular mullet.

WTF? He stole T-fal? That's a hangin' right there.

He stole a 12 pack of Steel Reserve.

Way to aim high, bro.

PEOPLE OF WALMART depresses me.

And it makes me totally understand every jaded doctor / nurse news story where some smelly fat fark gets sent home with a misdiagnosis and dies.

Could you imagine having to help these morons with their health problems?

55 dollars is far too much to pay for a set of T-FAL cookware.

mjoven1975: Yes, that kid has a spectacular mullet.

Solomon? I think I see the outline of a dead cat in that bag.

AntiNorm: FTFA:

He was transported to the police station where he allegedly continued his disorderly behavior and urinated several times in the interview room.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.


Several times?! They must have shown him pics of Madonna's arms.

I love peopleofwalmart. I wonder if Mike Judge spent a lot time at wal-mart researching for Idiocracy.....that's what all those pics make me think of...

We needed "zoom" option of pic in TFA because... ??

wait--never said he left the store--so did he really steal the pans--and as far as the interview room---maybe he just wanted to return the beer

Dad?

no clever name here just move along: I wonder if Mike Judge spent a lot time at wal-mart researching for Idiocracy

No, he just paid attention as he lived in Texas.

HomoHabilis: We needed "zoom" option of pic in TFA because... ??

so we could see just how far Kevin Costner has let himself go.

Also, I honestly had no idea that Steels could be purchased by the twelve-pack. Wouldn't that be in violation of public health laws?

The South Park episode of WalMart pretty much sums up the entire debate about it

Wynn threatened to "blow off" the arresting officer's head during his arrest, according to a police report. Wynn threatened to "blow off" the arresting officer's head during his arrest, according to a police report.

With what- MIND BULLETS??

FTFA: An Amelia man faces multiple charges after police said he stole a 12-pack of beer at Wal-Mart, drank it as he walked the store, shouted profanities at customers and threatened to kill a Fairfax police officer.

Not saying that he didn't have plenty of fail-oriented behavior... but how did he steal it if he was still in the store? I just need to know for my next shopping trip when I "steal" multiple items and put them in my basket.

Rodger C. Wynn, 52, was arrested on charges of theft, aggravated menacing and disorderly conduct while intoxicated

Aggravated menacing? Not sure what it is, but if you got to have a record, definitely have this on it!

55 dollars is far too much to pay for a set of T-FAL cookware.

Pretty sure the $55 included the price of the beer as well.

zamboni: FTFA: An Amelia man faces multiple charges after police said he stole a 12-pack of beer at Wal-Mart, drank it as he walked the store, shouted profanities at customers and threatened to kill a Fairfax police officer.

Not saying that he didn't have plenty of fail-oriented behavior... but how did he steal it if he was still in the store? I just need to know for my next shopping trip when I "steal" multiple items and put them in my basket.

I'm no law person but I would imagine it's technically theft to consume something you haven't paid for. I know many of us will snack on something then go pay for it, but probably if they wanted to be dicks they could bust you for that.

Going to prison is helluva lot better than being homeless.

Free TV, education, entertainment, gym, meals, and if you're in to that sorta thing sex too.

NotARocketScientist: Pretty sure the $55 included the price of the beer as well.

I deducted $1.49 for the "beer".

It's common practice for me to drink a 12 pack of Reserve beforeentering a Walmart.

/beer goggles and all that
//much healthier than eye bleach

Whatever happened to Foobies man? Is it gone completly?

It's how I would meditate betwen Fark stories...you know private meditation.

Wasilla Hillbilly: zamboni: FTFA: An Amelia man faces multiple charges after police said he stole a 12-pack of beer at Wal-Mart, drank it as he walked the store, shouted profanities at customers and threatened to kill a Fairfax police officer.

Not saying that he didn't have plenty of fail-oriented behavior... but how did he steal it if he was still in the store? I just need to know for my next shopping trip when I "steal" multiple items and put them in my basket.

I'm no law person but I would imagine it's technically theft to consume something you haven't paid for. I know many of us will snack on something then go pay for it, but probably if they wanted to be dicks they could bust you for that.

Well, I don't know about you, but if I saw a guy walking around consuming T-Fal cookware, I think I'd just let him have it.
Wait, he wasn't consuming the cookware? Then how, exactly, did he steal it without leaving the store? My brilliant sense of deduction leads me to believe there is at least one fact missing from this story.

lobootomy: An affidavit said Wynn stole a 12-pack of Steel Reserve beer and a set of T-Fal cookware, a total value of $56.49.

Steel Reserve???!! Jesus Christ, you don't drink that unless you want to get seriously F'ed up but you can't handle hard liquor. It tastes horrible. I'd rather guzzle vodak.

Come on, you wussy. Only the first two taste bad. The rest taste...well, who cares? You won't remember, anyway.

and urinated several times in the interview room.

SEVERAL times? What, did they forget to take his beer away?

gas giant: 55 dollars is far too much to pay for a set of T-FAL cookware.

mjoven1975: Yes, that kid has a spectacular mullet.

Solomon? I think I see the outline of a dead cat in that bag.

Well, he wasn't quiet dead yet. NEDM?

Fark Bless you Sir,

Tat's more then I was expecting.

Mantra check
Lubricating solution check
Private alone time check
Foobies priceless

firstronin: Whatever happened to Foobies man? Is it gone completly?

It's how I would meditate betwen Fark stories...you know private meditation.

There's not a link to it from regular fark, but you can still go to the domain to see the same 5 Met-Art/fake redhead galleries that loop.

lobootomy: An affidavit said Wynn stole a 12-pack of Steel Reserve beer and a set of T-Fal cookware, a total value of $56.49.

Steel Reserve???!! Jesus Christ, you don't drink that unless you want to get seriously F'ed up but you can't handle hard liquor. It tastes horrible. I'd rather guzzle vodak.

When I worked in a summer camp in the USA me and a buddy used to skoll a 40oz of malt or three in the bushes outside Meijer[sp?].

Spelling aside, Meijer was a Walmart-type store in Michigan in the 1990s. Beer wasn't allowed around the kids, and hardly anyone had transport, so we had to act fast on our weekly group breaks. Bastard Americans and their bastard rules regarding kids and alcohol.

/do Americans say "bushes"?
//American beer is weak
///malt liquor = Aussie beer in terms of strength

If he got down a 12'er of Steel Resreve and was still walking, I thing the Hero tag would have been suitable.

Mr. Furley has really let himself go.

Wasilla Hillbilly: zamboni: FTFA: An Amelia man faces multiple charges after police said he stole a 12-pack of beer at Wal-Mart, drank it as he walked the store, shouted profanities at customers and threatened to kill a Fairfax police officer.

Not saying that he didn't have plenty of fail-oriented behavior... but how did he steal it if he was still in the store? I just need to know for my next shopping trip when I "steal" multiple items and put them in my basket.

I'm no law person but I would imagine it's technically theft to consume something you haven't paid for. I know many of us will snack on something then go pay for it, but probably if they wanted to be dicks they could bust you for that.

I worked at Walmart while going through college. It wasn't uncommon for people to open up food or beverages while shopping and it wasn't a problem as long as they brought it to the register to pay for. Not sure what the actual polices are but I guess it is shoplifting if management wants to enforce it but I've never seen them try it personally.

Whatever happened to Foobies man? Is it gone completly?

It's how I would meditate betwen Fark stories...you know private meditation.


The website is still there and actively meditative. Just no more link here.
I have heard there is supposedly something called a URL that magically allows access.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

lobootomy: Leskay: /do Americans say "bushes"?

We do. You will have to explain "skoll".

It's funny you are biatching about alcohol rules...

Nah. Tongue in cheek. Rules is rules. No alcohol around kids is fine by me. Teachers used to get shiatfaced drunk at my school camps, however.

Skoll [pronounced "skull"] = drink very quickly. I think it's a Viking word, but hey, I'm not sure.

Most of you are overreacting. I'd kill two 40's of steel in one night on the regular as a teenager. If I wanted to get farked up I'd drink OEHG or Blue Bull high gravity (only a lil stronger than steel) or thunderbird. Of course this was all way before I could legally drink and my only option was my bros expired ID. And I turned out just fine.

/Alcoholism is good for teenagers
//I'm sure most farkers would agree

homeoftheblues: firstronin: Whatever happened to Foobies man? Is it gone completly?

It's how I would meditate betwen Fark stories...you know private meditation.
[pic of busty blonde]


Wow, Kate Bosworth has put on a few pounds since Superman Returns. She looks good.

On the subject of Steel Reserve, and its subtly nuanced ilk...

Some shop-owners in the "Ghetto" part of my city banded together to stop selling such high-gravity swill, in the hope that street crime would be reduced.

Predictably, their plan failed, as the derelicts who guzzle this garbage just migrated further into the downtown district, giving the liquor store more business and causing fear and disgust amongst the downtown businesspeople.

One would think that the convenience stores selling this piss would be happy for all of the bottom-shelf booze sales, even if the clientele is not exactly top-shelf.

/probably just a symptom of the "NIMBY"/ P.C. attitude that is so prevalent in this community
//Have never sampled this high-gravity quaff
///Got over my malt liquor faze toward the end of high school, when Billy Dee Williams was hawking the quaff
////Colt .45, works every time

lobootomy:
When he told his dad about it, his dad said "Why in the hell would anyone want to camp in the woods with a bunch of 9 year olds if they can't drink?"

Britney Spear's Speculum: no clever name here just move along: I wonder if Mike Judge spent a lot time at wal-mart researching for Idiocracy

No, he just paid attention as he lived in Texas.

Says the man who lives in California.

/Californian
//Lived in Texas since 1998
///Although I miss the mountains, forests and ocean, I'll stick with Texas

lobootomy: SpeshilEdjukashin: I have to admit, I do enjoy a 24 oz. can of the 211 here and there.

/Of course, I also guzzle cheap vodak every day.

I guzzle the vodak every day, but Steel Reserve is too swill for me even if the liquor store is closed and I have to hit a grocery for an alcohol substitute. At that point I enjoy some nice red wine, or a 12 pack of Sierra Nevada.

I cannot do the Steel Reserve. Even drunk. It has too much sugar taste for me to tolerate mass quantities of it.

Taste? You taste your alcohol? You're doing it wrong.