I dunno, there are certain names that might cause me to take a poke at my SO, under the circumstances. If when deep in the throes of passion I heard, for example, "oh YES, Wilford! Give it to me, Wilford Brimley! Make those whiskers QUIVER!", I couldn't promise to stay cool.

So beware.

I only find sex weird when I'm actually doing it. Which is rare.

Sounds to me like she just needs a little spanking.

weird? that shiat sounds downright tame to me.

Markoff_Cheney: weird? that shiat sounds downright tame to me.

This.

I haven't met a woman yet that didn't like to be (gently) pulled in the hair or spanked during sex. Was this like a missionary only, with the lights out kind of scenario?

Given the collection of battery operated boyfriends, bullets and battery operated pocket p*ssies, spank paddles, nipple clamps, strap ons, plugs, gags, handcuffs, costumes, lubes, various forms of restraints, whips and the bite marks I bare and the bite marks and bruises from when I take rope, bound her breasts tightly until they turn purple and slap them, I have to agree, this is weird. That's not even vanilla sex.

They had "weird" sex... or as my wife and I call it, "sex."

/whatever

It's just inexperience. Hopefully one day she'll learn that it's good to be vocal while doing the deed.

GWSuperfan: WFern: Markoff_Cheney: weird? that shiat sounds downright tame to me.

This.

Thirded

Oh, so very THIS

Of course, her punching him in the nose could have been her being disobedient, and trying to earn a more severe punishment.

/My slave does stuff like that all the time.
//The disobeying
///not the punching
////slashies make good flail tips

mugachino second pic

Looks like the next Wii controller attachment...

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I glimpsed a distant peninsular visage... Florida! How miraculous to behold!

He'd better make sure she doesn't steal his novel.

Great Janitor: Given the collection of battery operated boyfriends, bullets and battery operated pocket p*ssies, spank paddles, nipple clamps, strap ons, plugs, gags, handcuffs, costumes, lubes, various forms of restraints, whips and the bite marks I bare and the bite marks and bruises from when I take rope, bound her breasts tightly until they turn purple and slap them, I have to agree, this is weird. That's not even vanilla sex.

You forgot the ...uh nevermind. lulz

"Take that, ya Nincompoop! You know you want it, ya Blockhead! Come on!" (new window)



/Don't forget to touch the beanbag

Good thing he didn't introduce her to the Deep Dish Philly Finger Pie. She would have cut off his head with a chainsaw and blow-torched his dog.

The Southern Dandy: "Take that, ya Nincompoop! You know you want it, ya Blockhead! Come on!"

I love stand up comedy and that act was a new one to me. The Droopy Dog talking dirty bit was just plain NASTY!

Why can't people just have nice, normal sex anymore? The internet has a lot to answer for. What's wrong with dimming the lights, putting on a little mood music and settling in for some good old fashioned fun. Start with a little kiss. Then slowly undress each other. Stroke each others erogenous zones. Breast fondling, buttock caressing. Mutual masturbation. Then pop on your Darth Vader mask and crimp off a nutty trunk on her chest. It's called love making. You should all try it more.

a dumbarse redneck version of the donkey punch, now post-coital?

Iron Chef Scottish:Then pop on your Darth Vader mask and crimp off a nutty trunk on her chest. It's called love making.

Can I quote you on that expert advise Iron Chef Scottish Sir?

Imagine what she would've done if he went down on her.

If they make up he should go for the Donkey Punch

Meh, if you like physical pain, ie hair pulling and name calling during sex, I reserve the right to hair pull, name call, punch in the nose back.

Its only fair.

gadian: Meh, if you like physical pain, ie hair pulling and name calling during sex

Just how vicious was the name calling that it caused physical pain?

ThematicDevice: gadian: Meh, if you like physical pain, ie hair pulling and name calling during sex

Just how vicious was the name calling that it caused physical pain?

Perhaps he had exceptionally pungent halitosis?

BobRoss -- thank you. Came for the Californication reference. Leaving strangely satisfied. :-)

Sh*t. I piss on them. That ain't no thing. I pee on the girl, like mah dawg, R Kelly!

I would be punched if I didn't engage in hair pulling. Of course, if she is somehow not into it or you're "tearing out hair" as opposed to pulling on, a punch in the groin you deserve. Granted, I would not be sleeping with anyone who was not comfortable telling me before, during, or after sex what she does enjoy or did or did not enjoy.

Great Janitor: Given the collection of battery operated boyfriends, bullets and battery operated pocket p*ssies, spank paddles, nipple clamps, strap ons, plugs, gags, handcuffs, costumes, lubes, various forms of restraints, whips and the bite marks I bare and the bite marks and bruises from when I take rope, bound her breasts tightly until they turn purple and slap them, I have to agree, this is weird. That's not even vanilla sex.

How YOU doin'?

They are doing it wrong...he's supposed to punch her in the face for the jelly donut.

Is it Saturday already?

I love to have my hair pulled and be called names during sex so I'm getting a kick...

/guess I'm weird

She sounds sharp-kneed.

Dude was probably trying to spice things up because she was just laying there.

/all girls have a freak flag
//wife flies hers all the time

Maybe he called her stuff that was weirder than usual. Like furry role-play or something. Or maybe he didn't do furry role-play. I'm sure if your sex life consists of pretending you're a fox farking a seal and then he busts out some "get over here, slut" it would be quite disconcerting.

I'd like to be called names or have some dirty talk but unfortunately my boyfriend will not make the slightest noise during sex. Everything I do is guesswork as to whether he likes it. He does pull hair and spank very well because I like it and he does whatever I like with no opinions of his own. It's almost creepy.

Not that we have sex anymore. He's too depressed or whatever the excuse is today.

/kill me
//so ronery