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(Fark)   Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and wordplay   (fark.com) divider line 93
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6236 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2009 at 3:09 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2009-12-31 02:12:59 AM
Okay, I'll admit it. This is my favorite contest of the year. As someone who used to submit a lot, I appreciate a well-crafted headline. It's not easy to do well, but damn if you submitters don't step up and knock it out of the park.

Sometimes the joke is understated, and subtle. Sometimes the headline submitter swings for the fences. I like them all, and here are some of my favorites. Let's all give them a little love:
2009-12-31 02:36:23 AM
Image of Virgin Mary found on pancake. Experts confident it's her since it clearly wasn't defloured

2009-12-31 02:14:06 PM
Mystery tree chopper strikes again in Queens park. Police currently stumped, but vow to catch the sap, tell people to axe around, hope somebody might have seen him leave

2009-12-31 02:14:26 PM
Chemist positively charged with economic espionage after stealing paint formula from employer. FBI had an ion him the whole time, but still don't know alchemy did it

2009-12-31 02:14:52 PM
Woman falls through ice on Walden Pond. She was rescued after a Thoreau search

2009-12-31 02:15:17 PM
Moran arrested for child porn. Good. Good arrested for looking at kid's johnson. Johnson arrested with pics of kid in leathers. Leathers arrested with more, I see. Morici arrested too. Moran

2009-12-31 02:15:50 PM
Man sues after being hit in the head with a discus. Says he faces hurdles daily and has now hired a P.R. firm to track and field calls from the media. The bar is set high, but he thinks he can win his case. Javelin

2009-12-31 02:16:13 PM
Whale protection research vessel collides with endangered whale. Officials say blubbering would serve no porpoise - it was just a fluke, and they've made the best out of a bad cetacean

2009-12-31 02:16:34 PM
Airman facing rape charges after being booked in Middlesex for sex with middle school girl he met on Facebook

2009-12-31 02:17:09 PM
Man decides to go bungee jumping, thinks there's nothing wrong with the cord. Frayed knot

2009-12-31 02:18:20 PM
Two injured in chemical explosion. Au Te-H H-U-Mn-I-Ti

2009-12-31 02:18:59 PM
Swedish transexual wins the right to call herself Immanuel after years of being told that she kant

2009-12-31 02:19:33 PM
Skywalker trampolines recalled, are too dangerous to use. See three PO'd customers who already sued

2009-12-31 02:19:51 PM
Ali Bongo drums up enough support to snare election victory, thanks his electoral bass for helping him ride to this cymbalic win

2009-12-31 02:20:14 PM
Fake psychologist charged with freud

2009-12-31 02:20:53 PM
121 children hospitalized with lead poisoning in China live near battery plant. Doctors report half positive, half negative, one discharged

2009-12-31 02:21:12 PM
Naked bicycle-riding suspect arrested. Bike taken as evidence, but may be tainted

2009-12-31 02:21:37 PM
288 people killed by mudslides in the Benguet province. Officials say that it's two gross

2009-12-31 02:21:58 PM
Driver for brown fails to deliver the green, is now blue after getting the pink

2009-12-31 02:22:24 PM
New report from the Iowa department of public health shows that 7% of 6 year olds suffer from lead poisoning, possibly because their parents are feeding them too many Pb & J sandwiches

2009-12-31 02:22:46 PM
♫ I took a little souvenir-o of a man / Stole a tooth, stole a tooth, fingers and a ver-te-bra / Hidden out of sight, but now they'll see the light again / GALILEO galileo GALILEO galileo Galileo Figaro / Magnificoooooo ♫

2009-12-31 02:23:09 PM
County jail inmates denied hot meals for past five weeks because of broken kettles for boiling and heating. As God is my witness, I thought turnkeys could fry

2009-12-31 02:24:53 PM
"Gunfight at Chicken World Leaves One Dead." Looks like someone went off half-cocked, but I think this reporter still deserves a Pullet Surprise

2009-12-31 02:25:15 PM
Guttenberg makes surprise trip to Afghanistan. My, he certainly is the movable type

2009-12-31 02:25:50 PM
"Quiverfull" religion Duggar family cranks out number 19 three months early at 1lb, 6 oz., showing what happens when you have unsafe sects

2009-12-31 02:26:23 PM
Paul Mitchell's pert message: reducing shampoo usage allows suave consumers to stand head and shoulders above the crowd. Aussie what he did there, it's pantenely obvious

2009-12-31 02:26:45 PM
Not News: Robin a store. News: thief that must be cuckoo ducks out with $1400 bird under coat. Police believe loon lacks egret for his crime. Lark: People pay $1400 for birds; boobies

2009-12-31 02:27:04 PM
While mozart out chopin, this cello-playing doctor is bach raising funds for research. If he haydn given up a verdi promising musical career, it would be harder to handel these diseases

2009-12-31 02:27:23 PM
Twittering encouraged in church. Submitter still afraid of being text-communicated

2009-12-31 02:28:24 PM
2009-12-31 02:31:51 PM
Unfreakable: That's all of them.

Y'all are brutalizing me (new window).
2009-12-31 02:31:52 PM
Don'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tcli ckitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickit

*Clicks it anyway*


I hate loving puns.
2009-12-31 02:37:07 PM
No "Lady Gaga pulls out of Kanye West, tour"?
2009-12-31 02:37:20 PM
Solid State Vittles: Y'all are brutalizing me (new window).

Added now. Shhhhhh
2009-12-31 02:38:48 PM
Dancin_In_Anson: Don'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tcl i ckitDon'tclickitDon'tclickitDon'tclickit

*Clicks it anyway*


I hate loving puns.

That's exactly what I did yesterday with the math thread.
2009-12-31 02:38:53 PM
Frayed Knot, for the win. But lots of very clever stuff up there. Kudos!
2009-12-31 02:39:04 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: Solid State Vittles: Y'all are brutalizing me (new window).

Added now. Shhhhhh

2009-12-31 02:39:06 PM
Frayed knot may be my favorite of the year in any category.
2009-12-31 02:39:45 PM
Solid State Vittles: Duuuuuuude...

It was overlooked accidentally.
2009-12-31 02:40:55 PM
To those who submitted the Walden, lead poisoning, and text-communicated headlines, kudos to you.
2009-12-31 02:43:37 PM
The best ones are the ones where you just might miss it.

Pb & J gets my vote for this reason.
2009-12-31 02:44:06 PM
The gold standard is still the "stake a chick at" headline from a year or two ago.
2009-12-31 02:45:07 PM
I'm told puns are one of the worst and lowest forms of humor.

One of my proudest days as a father was when my young daughter made her first pun. So proud!
2009-12-31 02:45:25 PM
LessO2: The gold standard is still the "stake a chick at" headline from a year or two ago.

No kidding. I think that might have won best that year.
2009-12-31 02:46:56 PM
Wait, why does this one (not mine) not count?
2009-12-31 02:48:35 PM
All good
2009-12-31 02:49:43 PM
I'm a huge fan of the movable type one. The Walden one seemed a little too easy for an HOY in my opinion.
2009-12-31 02:50:04 PM
Wordplay is hit and miss with me. Still... excellent crop here.
2009-12-31 02:50:57 PM
Seth'n'Spectrum: Wait, why does this one (not mine) not count?

I had to narrow down the contest. I couldn't include every single wordplay/pun headline submitted all year or this contest would have hundreds of entries.
2009-12-31 02:52:24 PM
"Moran" for the win, but "turnkeys could fry" should be the runner-up -- I love it when Farkers find a way to squeeze a good pun out of an old meme.
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