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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Gunmen too weak to steal ATM after failing to convert dollars to pounds   (suntimes.com) divider line 31
    More: Fail, North Side, thefts, Chicago Police, Jeep Cherokee, real money, duct tape, guns  
•       •       •

6058 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2009 at 10:04 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-12-31 09:14:50 AM  
When did Americans start using the word "staff" to describe employees? I thought that was more of a British thing.

/Also, the gunmen are pussies.
 
2009-12-31 10:09:06 AM  
How do you steal ass to mouth?
Confused.

/dnrtfa
 
2009-12-31 10:09:47 AM  
kinshane:
/Also, the gunmen are pussies.


Are they "pussies" because they couldn't lift the ATM, or they're "pussies" because they're too cowardly to actually apply themselves & make a living legitimately, and would rather simply steal other people's property?

/or both?
 
2009-12-31 10:10:35 AM  
kinshane:

/Also, the gunmen are pussies.


Don't forget to renew your subsciption to ITG
 
2009-12-31 10:11:19 AM  
kinshane: When did Americans start using the word "staff" to describe employees? I thought that was more of a British thing.

/Also, the gunmen are pussies.


I grew up in the states (ah, a Britishism right there) and heard people referring to employees as staff all the time.

The one that gets me is "to go" versus "take away".
 
2009-12-31 10:16:36 AM  
Seth'n'Spectrum: I grew up in the states (ah, a Britishism right there) and heard people referring to employees as staff all the time.

The one that gets me is "to go" versus "take away".



i234.photobucket.com

Also...A GIS for ATM with safesearch off yielded some NSFW results. How odd.
 
2009-12-31 10:20:58 AM  
A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.
 
2009-12-31 10:26:27 AM  
markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

you consider 250lbs to be a small woman? daooooommmmn
 
2009-12-31 10:30:44 AM  
markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

Take my wife... please.
 
2009-12-31 10:31:05 AM  
juhis: markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

you consider 250lbs to be a small woman? daooooommmmn


This
 
2009-12-31 10:31:40 AM  
The should have stolen some steroids first.
 
2009-12-31 10:31:58 AM  
juhis: markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

you consider 250lbs to be a small woman? daooooommmmn


In all fairness, markyp09 considers his women to be small if he doesn't have to break out the flour.
 
2009-12-31 10:32:07 AM  
juhis: markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

you consider 250lbs to be a small woman? daooooommmmn


I was going off the basis of 125 pounds for each person.
 
2009-12-31 10:33:01 AM  
markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

You know how I can tell you are from Vermont?
 
2009-12-31 10:34:26 AM  
They couldn't move a 250 lb. ATM? I've got just ONE word for you...

www.vendorsequipment.com
MAGLINER
 
2009-12-31 10:41:35 AM  
500 bucks for gym membership for upcoming robbery

steal atm, and collect the 500 bucks inside

profit!!!

wait....
 
2009-12-31 10:43:33 AM  
markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

What a MRI of a small woman may look like

www.funonthenet.in

/smaller woman included for comparison
//we're all the same on the inside, except the for fat surrounding the heart
 
2009-12-31 10:45:11 AM  
From Yesterday: Burglars steal 700-pound church safe

These puny, weak-armed robbers are going to mocked mercilessly at the next thief convention.
 
2009-12-31 10:47:19 AM  
juhis: markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

you consider 250lbs to be a small woman? daooooommmmn


250 pounds / 2 guys = 125 pounds
and I think people who don't work out but think they can lift 125 pounds when there's no handles or whatever are deluded... try it!
 
2009-12-31 11:05:07 AM  
Link (new window)

Suspects
 
2009-12-31 11:28:50 AM  
No props for the subby?

/golf clap
 
2009-12-31 11:31:02 AM  
I'm sure that the atm was bolted down, 250 lbs is nothing.
 
GCD
2009-12-31 12:10:54 PM  
bionicgimp: I'm sure that the atm was bolted down, 250 lbs is nothing.

Don't you have somewhere to be in 26 minutes?

/I keed, I keed

250 lbs. on a BARBELL is "nothing". A 250 lbs. rectangular box with no handles is probably a little challenge.

Even if these two toothpicks had managed to get it off the ground, just how fast do you think you're going to go waddling off with 250 lbs.? Not very fast.

Even if they had a pick-up truck (Jeep in this case apparently), they STILL had to lift the 250 lbs. about 3-4 feet up to get it into the vehicle.

In other news, police released a sketch of one of the suspects:

i.somethingawful.com
 
2009-12-31 12:23:12 PM  
I like the headline a lot, shame it landed in the Headline of the Year dead zone. +1 Subby.
 
2009-12-31 12:30:48 PM  
Elektrohed: I like the headline a lot, shame it landed in the Headline of the Year dead zone. +1 Subby.

QFT
 
2009-12-31 12:50:32 PM  
1 pound = $453.59
 
2009-12-31 01:01:00 PM  
Elektrohed: I like the headline a lot, shame it landed in the Headline of the Year dead zone. +1 Subby.

How about we look at this headline tomorrow and consider it the early pace-setter for 2010.
 
2009-12-31 01:46:29 PM  
markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

There's a link of a mosh pit on the video page that I bet you would really like.
 
2009-12-31 02:47:12 PM  
markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

Hmmm, I can't tell if you're European, because you don't know that 250 pounds is more along the lines of a large man or if you're American, and you just think 250 pounds is a small woman (sad possibility).
 
2009-12-31 03:45:05 PM  
Satanicpuppy: markyp09: A normal ATM weighs 250 pounds and two guys couldn't lift it? That's embarrassing. I'm no body builder but I could lift the equivalent of a small woman.

Hmmm, I can't tell if you're European, because you don't know that 250 pounds is more along the lines of a large man or if you're American, and you just think 250 pounds is a small woman (sad possibility).


Haha. Not European. I can't believe my small, innocuous comment got so many responses. I guess I should have explained that I meant 250lb/2people = 125lb/person which isn't that heavy at all. That is what I meant by "small woman".
 
nbt
2009-12-31 05:50:17 PM  
That's why they make them heavy. So they're hard to steal!

Drop into your local rigging & craning company and their warehouse will be full of EMPTY (please don't break in and become a FARK posting) ATMs. That's the kind of people you hire because they have the tools and experience as well as the mass to move an ATM onto a truck.
 
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