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(Fark) Survey Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Politics   (fark.com) divider line 126
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posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2009 at 3:51 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:32:02 PM
Welcome to Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest for the politics subtab. We've narrowed the field down to some of our personal favorites, and now it's your opportunity to crown the champ. These are the finalists; please do not enable voting on any of your comments or nominate additional entries.

Happy voting, and here are the nominees:
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:32:31 PM
Gay Episcopal bishop to offer prayer at inauguration event. Activist groups immediately complain that left-handed redheaded transsexual Jewish Kwaanza pastors are being excluded

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4139004
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:33:01 PM
Poll taken to choose best name for Presidental Dog. "Chris Matthews", "Keith Olbermann" not listed since they're already humping his leg

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4178502
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:33:23 PM
Obama aims to halve deficit by end of first term. Just like Bush's goal, but with an extra "l"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4226676
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:33:39 PM
Hamas rejects Israeli cease-fire terms. Reasons given include "Our shrapnel collection is not complete" and "We have some rockets left"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4148820
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:33:55 PM
"Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda". This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4178502
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:34:12 PM
US official confirms that US aid to re-build Gaza will likely exceed $900 million. No word on whether this is coming out of Israel's allowance

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4230215
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:34:25 PM
Newest Obama appointee's office raided by FBI. Left finally comes to terms that Obama is not Jesus. Jesus could actually build a cabinet

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4263810
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:34:57 PM
Missing: One Governor of South Carolina, white, Republican, has all shots, answers to "Mark"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4463948
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:35:28 PM
McCain: "Palin didn't quit, she changed her priorities." In related news, your mom isn't a slut, she's just popular

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4505447
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:35:51 PM
Jesse Jackson offers to go to Iraq to free journalist. It's a deal, no trade-backs

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4343597
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:36:43 PM
"Citrus plot" makes paranoid Iranians so fearful of Israelis they look for conspiracies in oranges, are still blaming everything on the juice

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4352452
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:36:59 PM
Obama secretly tested for swine flu after man he shook hands with in Mexico drops dead the next day. Officials concerned because Obama's touch usually heals

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4355136
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:37:19 PM
White House apologizes for Biden's swine flu comments, Manhattan fly-by, President Bush, New Coke, destruction of the Library at Alexandria, and for calling time-out with 11 seconds left in the game when they were out of time-outs

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4361297
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:37:31 PM
Toner, ex-aide to Eisenhower and Nixon, dies, will be shaken and reinserted to work a few more days

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4418839
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:37:49 PM
New Gallup poll reveals Cheney is more popular than Pelosi, much in the same way that prostate exams are more popular than colonoscopies

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4430225
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:39:06 PM
Congressmen receives death threats over healthcare plan. On the good side, he's got a great medical plan through his employer, so if he's only wounded, he should be okay

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4562491
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:39:25 PM
Democrats trying to give the mentally ill free healthcare, or as they call it, "playing to the base"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4440867
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:39:48 PM
Australian senate removes screaming baby from Parliament chambers. One down, seventy-six to go

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4456251
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:40:03 PM
Sen. Arlen Specter has a challenger in the 2010 Democratic primary, Rep. Joe Sestak, who announced today surrounded by his family--Marshall, Will, Holly and Cha-ka

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4553373
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:40:24 PM
Big-city mayor resigns, petitions to run in special election to replace himself, then drops out. Voices in head finally reach consensus on running for Congress

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4595761
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:40:39 PM
Cheney accuses Obama of politicizing the Justice Department. Cheney. Accuses Obama. Of politicizing the Justice Department

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4596552
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:41:01 PM
Mark Foley turns over a new page in his life, becomes a talk radio host

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4625799
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:41:20 PM
Meg Whitman, former eBay CEO, announces run for Governor of California. Expects to lead early, but get sniped five seconds before the polls close

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4652800
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:41:40 PM
Chinese democracy leaders appeal to Obama. They get down on their sha na na na na na na na knees, knees

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4790768
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:42:04 PM
"Some" senior citizens are cancelling their AARP memberships in an Obamacare protest. The rest will have their membership cancelled... soon enough

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4763467
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:42:32 PM
Twenty years ago, communism fell across the globe, surviving today only in Cuba, China and Berkeley

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4714977
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:42:58 PM
Obama heads to Wall Street to address financial reform. Stockbroker's parents will keep them home that day so they won't be indoctrinated into socialism

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4634748
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:43:15 PM
NY state legislature deadlocked on whether ethics bill should allow them to be thieving whores or conniving scum

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4630740
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:43:32 PM
Obama declares swine flu a national emergency, eyes Nobel Prize in Medicine

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4724651
 
Headline of the Year candidate [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:43:49 PM
New Jersey likely to legalize medical marijuana, which can help to alleviate the pain of having to live in New Jersey

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4814505
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 02:47:43 PM
 
I Said [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:23:30 PM
Jesus building the cabinet is probably the one I laughed at the most.
 
JusticeandIndependence [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:28:57 PM
Is it just me or is the vote button missing?
 
djkutch [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:31:29 PM
JusticeandIndependence: Is it just me or is the vote button missing?

It's just like real politics--your vote doesn't count.
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:34:19 PM
JusticeandIndependence: Is it just me or is the vote button missing?

To the Main Page Batman.
 
Gosling
2009-12-30 03:36:11 PM
Man, none of mine.
 
conativejj
2009-12-30 03:38:07 PM
djkutch: JusticeandIndependence: Is it just me or is the vote button missing?

It's just like real politics--your vote doesn't count.

WINNER!
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:39:03 PM
Thanks for all your hard work on this, Unfreakable!
 
cryptozoophiliac
2009-12-30 03:39:39 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: Cheney accuses Obama of politicizing the Justice Department. Cheney. Accuses Obama. Of politicizing the Justice Department

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4596552

bears repeating
 
YoungSwedishBlonde
2009-12-30 03:41:41 PM
Has to be either the Clinton headline or the McCain quote about Palin. Don't fail me now Fark.
 
Mr_Fabulous
2009-12-30 03:41:52 PM
Several strong ones there. But the Clinton/Lays/Asian/Broad word jumble worked best for me.
 
StrikitRich
2009-12-30 03:41:58 PM
Poll taken to choose best name for Presidental Dog. "Chris Matthews", "Keith Olbermann" not listed since they're already humping his leg

Done in 3.
 
Unfreakable [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:42:14 PM
Sensei Can You See: Thanks for all your hard work on this, Unfreakable!

*bows*
 
DeadZone
2009-12-30 03:44:44 PM
I think one of those might be one of mine.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2009-12-30 03:45:29 PM
Unfreakable: Sensei Can You See: Thanks for all your hard work on this, Unfreakable!

*bows*

Are you doing the WTF Headlines and Punny/Clever Headlines again too?
 
Doogles4221
2009-12-30 03:47:08 PM
The best of the tab contests. Lots of laughs

/Thanks Unfreakable
//You make my years end
///As do slashies
 
006andahalf
2009-12-30 03:48:05 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: New Gallup poll reveals Cheney is more popular than Pelosi, much in the same way that prostate exams are more popular than colonoscopies

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4430225

I enjoy this one, but like I Said said, the cabinet one makes for the best Luls.
 
Murkanen
2009-12-30 03:48:32 PM
I've got to say that the difference in quality between the Politics tab headlines and the Geek tab headlines is disappointing.
 
jennyz
2009-12-30 03:48:47 PM
These made me laugh quite a bit more than the other tabs so far.

Clinton FTW
 
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