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(Fark)   Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Business   (fark.com) divider line 64
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4026 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2009 at 2:36 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-30 01:58:50 PM
Welcome to Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest for the business subtab. We've narrowed the field down to some of our personal favorites, and now it's your opportunity to crown the champ. These are the finalists; please do not enable voting on any of your comments or nominate additional entries.

Happy voting, and here are the nominees:
 
2009-12-30 01:59:18 PM
With pullout of multiple partners, Virgin may lose status

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4244675
 
2009-12-30 01:59:35 PM
Six Flags on the verge of filing Chapter 11. Restructuring terms will force debt collectors to stand in a gigantic zig-zag line for hours, only to have the check printing machine break down when they're next in line

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4266178
 
2009-12-30 01:59:47 PM
Britain sees first drop in airline passengers since Lockerbie

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4269950
 
2009-12-30 02:00:03 PM
Car manfacturers are listening to proposals to equip cars with social networking technology like Facebook. What could pos.... Michael is wrapped around a tree

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4156565
 
2009-12-30 02:00:18 PM
Pfizer to pay $2.3 billion fine after pulling a major boner

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4612724
 
2009-12-30 02:00:32 PM
Live Nation to acquire Ticketmaster for $2.5 billion, plus $700 million in convenience charges

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4201687
 
2009-12-30 02:00:53 PM
HP profit drops; 6,400 workers to get the boot (6,218 after formatting)

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4398170
 
2009-12-30 02:01:06 PM
Asset manager objects to "fire sale" of Polaroid. Instead, it would rather shake things up, wait a little while and see what develops

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4296402
 
2009-12-30 02:01:22 PM
National Amusement theatres to be sold off. Sales times are 11:00, 2:15, 4:35, 6:55, 9:35, 11:45

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4220801
 
2009-12-30 02:01:40 PM
We don't make a lot of the things you buy, and that's kind of our problem. BASF

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4359858
 
2009-12-30 02:01:55 PM
Sweden to shed 20,000 construction jobs on news that it doesn't take that many people to push the sides together and fasten the screws with allen wrenches

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4232875
 
2009-12-30 02:07:27 PM
General Motors bankruptcy inevitable. GM shares set to fall like a rock. OOOOOOHHHHH like a rock

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4380165
 
2009-12-30 02:07:49 PM
Applications to the top liberal-arts schools drop 20% as students realize there is no longer any need to earn a Liberal Arts degree to remain unemployable

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4258463
 
2009-12-30 02:08:05 PM
American Express to 4000 employees: "Don't leave home"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4395525
 
2009-12-30 02:08:20 PM
Wagging tongues say Aer Lingus faces "most difficult period in its history," pays lip services to mounds of debt but hopes to lick financial woes and snatch victory from jaws of defeat

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4435021
 
2009-12-30 02:08:48 PM
Citigroup analyst weighs in on which banks need to raise capital after recent stress test, which is kind of like a blind guy telling you your girlfriend is ugly

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4371427
 
2009-12-30 02:09:01 PM
Target profit beats estimates on news that people are still willing to pay 20% more than Walmart for the same stuff on clean floors

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4398164
 
2009-12-30 02:09:30 PM
MySpace slashes itself by 30%, a move that resonates with its user base

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4452443
 
2009-12-30 02:09:48 PM
Bernie Madoff sentenced to 150 years of having massive amounts of capital injected into his backdoor hedge fund

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4477886
 
2009-12-30 02:10:13 PM
Moody's downgrades California's bond ratings to "Rob Schneider movie"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4511868
 
2009-12-30 02:10:47 PM
New York criticized for lack of slaughterhouses - even though they do have Newburgh, Troy, Utica and wherever the Mets play in September

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4524987
 
2009-12-30 02:11:06 PM
Profits at Tokyo Disneyland fall by 78 percent due to bad weather, fear of swine flu, and underperforming used Snow White panties vending machines

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4555831
 
2009-12-30 02:11:23 PM
Clear Channel posts $3.7B loss. I'd explain more, but I have to cut to 10 minutes of commercials, followed by the new Nickelback song

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4568171
 
2009-12-30 02:11:55 PM
Microsoft not worried about court order to stop selling Word to your mother

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4569992
 
2009-12-30 02:12:09 PM
Ikea is actually owned by a non-profit corporation, part of a tax avoidance scheme so complicated it's like putting together a Leksvik three-door wardrobe ($349 at your local Ikea)

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4601007
 
2009-12-30 02:13:14 PM
 
2009-12-30 02:13:31 PM
Morgan Stanley CEO steps down from his post to focus on packaging and bundling his kid's lemonade stand into collateralized debt obligations

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4629962
 
2009-12-30 02:14:19 PM
Abercrombie to sue Beyonce for trademark infringement. Lawyers for the company say they were originally going to sue Taylor Swift until Kanye West interrupted the filing and demanded they sue Beyonce instead

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4629962
 
2009-12-30 02:14:57 PM
AT&T to raise landline prices. In other news, Maxell to raise cassette tape prices

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4706736
 
2009-12-30 02:15:14 PM
 
2009-12-30 02:16:56 PM
 
2009-12-30 02:24:29 PM
Alright, I'll admit it. I don't understand the Swedish construction worker one.
 
2009-12-30 02:25:21 PM
ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Alright, I'll admit it. I don't understand the Swedish construction worker one.

Ever buy from IKEA?
 
2009-12-30 02:25:57 PM
StrikitRich: ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Alright, I'll admit it. I don't understand the Swedish construction worker one.

Ever buy from IKEA?


Nope, never. But now I get it, I guess.
 
2009-12-30 02:26:02 PM
Target profit beats estimates on news that people are still willing to pay 20% more than Walmart for the same stuff on clean floors

You can never go wrong ripping on Walmart.
 
2009-12-30 02:28:38 PM
Too many about people losing jobs. All funny.
/JOLTCOLAISMYFAVORITEHEADLINEOFTHISGROUP
 
2009-12-30 02:33:35 PM
Polaroid made me smile :D

/Cheese!
 
2009-12-30 02:34:31 PM
As someone who never reads the business tab, I must say....I larfed.

/Lockerbie
//backdoor hedge fund
///Word to your mother
////hee hee heeeee!
 
2009-12-30 02:35:39 PM
Headline of the Year candidate: General Motors bankruptcy inevitable. GM shares set to fall like a rock. OOOOOOHHHHH like a rock

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4380165


in its defense, it worked last year (new window)
 
2009-12-30 02:36:37 PM
IMO, the top ones are:

Britain sees first drop in airline passengers since Lockerbie

American Express to 4000 employees: "Don't leave home"

Microsoft not worried about court order to stop selling Word to your mother
 
2009-12-30 02:39:14 PM
ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Alright, I'll admit it. I don't understand the Swedish construction worker one.

IKEA is from Sweden...and all their furniture is put together with little allen wrenches...
 
2009-12-30 02:44:53 PM
Unfreakable: Voting is still open on the other active HOY contests:

Main (overall): Fark's 2009 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest

Sports: Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Sports

Showbiz: Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Showbiz

Geek: Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Geek


Are there pun/wordplay categories this year?

They are my favorite.
 
2009-12-30 02:46:23 PM
Sir Vanderhoot: Are there pun/wordplay categories this year?

They are my favorite.


Tomorrow I'll have the contests for Puns/Wordplay, Parents of the Year and Dumbass of the Year.

I'm wrapping up the Politics HOY and will drop that into the Upcoming queue in about five minutes.
 
2009-12-30 02:48:40 PM
I'm honored to see that my Six Flags headline made the list..

Great headlines, all!!!
 
2009-12-30 02:51:51 PM
There's a "Business" tab? Gross.
 
2009-12-30 03:01:46 PM
JihadMakeMeHungry: There's a "Business" tab? Gross.

There's a politics tab too.

They're like the neighborhood by the train tracks and the Red Light District of every town.
 
2009-12-30 03:12:47 PM
StrikitRich: Target profit beats estimates on news that people are still willing to pay 20% more than Walmart for the same stuff on clean floors

You can never go wrong ripping on Walmart.


nope. had to vote for that one too...
 
2009-12-30 03:17:03 PM
Kinda sad to see so many jobs lost.
 
2009-12-30 03:23:46 PM
GM Shares "like a rock" has got to be the best one with Myspace and Virgin a close second.

//Word to your mother
///If my brain was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
 
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