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(Apple) Video Hollywood has officially hit rock bottom: A horror movie about being stuck on a ski lift. Sadly, this is not a parody   (apple.com) divider line 161
More: Video, horror movies, parody  
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7597 clicks; posted to Video » on 29 Dec 2009 at 2:13 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-29 12:27:45 AM
It is like a scary version of castaway on an island if that island was named suck
 
2009-12-29 12:37:48 AM
I dunno, I saw a trailer for that the other day and it looked pretty good to me. I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.
 
2009-12-29 12:41:24 AM
Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.
 
2009-12-29 12:55:03 AM
Fellows: Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.


I can't watch it since its Quicktime and I'm on Linux and don't feel like
actually downloading and viewing it with mplayer, but this sounds to me like
what Roger Ebert calls an 'idiot world' movie, where the only way it works
is if you assume it is set in a world populated entirely by idiots.

Kinda like Fark, now that I think on it.
 
2009-12-29 01:28:48 AM
Are snakes involved?
 
2009-12-29 01:38:18 AM
I'd recommend not watching it if you're interested in the film, as it shows ENTIRELY too much.
 
2009-12-29 01:44:02 AM
Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.


That settles it, I'm going to film a documentary about boyfriends/husbands who get dragged to Sex in the City 2: Eletric Whorealoo. It may become the scariest movie ever.
 
2009-12-29 01:49:06 AM
I refuse to install quicktime.
 
2009-12-29 01:51:53 AM
Fellows: Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.


It happens

It shouldn't, obviously; it isn't rocket science to keep track of the last full chair, and I'd guess that most of the time the last chair has patrollers on it with radios, but it does happen. I would surmise that the lifties were fried, even more than usual.

I think it happened in Canada a year or two ago, too, but I can't find that story anymore, so maybe I'm fried.
 
2009-12-29 02:17:18 AM
jimbobsbaitshop: Are snakes involved?

No no no...

Are SHARKS involved!?
 
2009-12-29 02:19:19 AM
If Bush was in office, this never would have happened.
 
2009-12-29 02:24:22 AM
robsul82: I'd recommend not watching it if you're interested in the film, as it shows ENTIRELY too much.

Yeah, I can't imagine the movie being much more than what was shown.

I first saw the trailer a few days ago and thought it was a joke. Unfortunately, the teens and twentysomethings will flock to this movie(like the idiots they are), which will cause Hollywood to produce more movies just like it.

I'm guessing the next movie they make like this will be called Trapped!...The Door Lock on the Porta-Potty is Stuck and No On Knows You're In There. It's the story of a 19 year old dude, at an outdoor concert that just wrapped up, who has to relieve himself of the last beer he sneakily took out of someone else's cooler while they were passed out. While everyone else is leaving, he suddenly realizes the door lock is jammed on the porta-potty and there's no other way out.

Sadly, there's probably someone from Hollywood eyeballing my post right now and thinking "Oh, hell yeah! This will seperate the retards from their money!".
 
2009-12-29 02:27:51 AM
Well, it's no Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People but I guess it'll do.
 
2009-12-29 02:32:33 AM
Sadly, that's nowhere near rock bottom, subby. Hollywood went a few hundred feet below that several years ago.
 
2009-12-29 02:33:07 AM
Watch as three unlikable twenty-somethings battle extreme cold, wolves, employee incompetence and poor maintenance standards in this chilling feature...
 
2009-12-29 02:37:49 AM
Fellows: Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.


Well, it's fifty or more feet straight down onto packed ice; and it's not impossible that the wasted/drunk lift operators could forget there was one more chair occupied. That said, I'd take my chances on the jump since the alternative would be to freeze to death, break into the nearest ski patrol shack and radio for help.

But my movie wouldn't sell, since it would be about 30 minutes, tops, and end with everyone being rescued successfully by helicopter.
 
2009-12-29 02:44:10 AM
I've been stuck on a ski lift. But, it started after a few minutes. A few years ago, I face-planted into a snowdrift. Which means I was trapped and could not breathe. Talk about panicking.
 
2009-12-29 02:44:47 AM
QuillofNumenor: Well, it's no Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People but I guess it'll do.

What? Would you have preferred Rape Stove?
 
2009-12-29 02:45:12 AM
Fellows: Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.

This.

I mean, no one has a cell phone? No one thinks to shimmy across the wire to the nearest tower which will have a ladder or posts for climbing?

Besides, any movie that has to quote Harry Knowles to get a good word is gonna suck.
 
2009-12-29 02:46:19 AM
In a world where cell phones don't exist...
 
2009-12-29 02:46:57 AM
Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

You must be a Joss Whedon fan.
 
2009-12-29 02:53:55 AM
Awesome! Did I see a wolf attacking a person in that trailer?
 
2009-12-29 03:05:47 AM
Fellows: I'm having trouble seeing how anyone but only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.


FTFY
 
2009-12-29 03:12:12 AM
SkiFree: The Motion Picture
 
2009-12-29 03:17:48 AM
www.bwmovies.net
 
2009-12-29 03:20:39 AM
Gyrfalcon: Fellows: Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.

Well, it's fifty or more feet straight down onto packed ice; and it's not impossible that the wasted/drunk lift operators could forget there was one more chair occupied. That said, I'd take my chances on the jump since the alternative would be to freeze to death, break into the nearest ski patrol shack and radio for help.

But my movie wouldn't sell, since it would be about 30 minutes, tops, and end with everyone being rescued successfully by helicopter.


Hi, hello. Have you thought of busting it five-toed sloth style on that cable right above you? You probably aren't more than a couple hundred feet from a tower. Which everywhere I've ever skied had at least a rudimentary ladder down to the ground.

Yeah, you'd be in a world of hurt if it started up halfway through, but no worse than you already were gonna jump from.
 
2009-12-29 03:43:09 AM
I've seen drunken assholes jump down from ski lifts before. It's not that far and the snow beneath them is usually unskiied and therefore soft - at the absolute worst you'd twist an ankle.

As far as I can see, the movie would be five minutes of the characters saying to each other "Just jump down, dude! don't be a pussy!" and then maybe one guy lands badly and has to limp back to the ski lodge, then the others laugh at him over shots of jager.
 
2009-12-29 03:49:55 AM
Gunther: I've seen drunken assholes jump down from ski lifts before. It's not that far and the snow beneath them is usually unskiied and therefore soft - at the absolute worst you'd twist an ankle.

As far as I can see, the movie would be five minutes of the characters saying to each other "Just jump down, dude! don't be a pussy!" and then maybe one guy lands badly and has to limp back to the ski lodge, then the others laugh at him over shots of jager.


At which point the ghost of Natasha Richardson eats their SOULS!
 
2009-12-29 03:50:55 AM
truth_is_stranger_than_fishin: It is like a scary version of castaway on an island if that island was named suck

And had no cell phones.

DjangoStonereaver: where the only way it works
is if you assume it is set in a world populated entirely by idiots.


Idiots without cell phones. And you can't expect me to believe you can have THREE skiers and NONE of them have a phone.

robsul82: I'd recommend not watching it if you're interested in the film, as it shows ENTIRELY too much.

Does it show them taking out a cell phone and dialing 9-1-1?

Sliding Carp: It happens

In 2005, there was still a really slim chance that someone with enough cash to do a luxury high ticket weekend activity like go skiing would NOT have a cell phone.

Teufelaffe: I mean, no one has a cell phone?

Not even possible.

Gyrfalcon: But my movie wouldn't sell, since it would be about 30 minutes, tops, and end with everyone being rescued successfully by helicopter.

After calling for help with their cell phones.

LaserShark: In a world where cell phones don't exist...

Glad it's not just me, then.
 
2009-12-29 03:51:50 AM
Sounds like "Home Alone" but stuck on a chairlift.
 
2009-12-29 03:53:21 AM
Although I could be looking at this all wrong. Maybe it's a period piece? Set in like... 1982 or something?
 
2009-12-29 03:55:20 AM
unlikely: robsul82: I'd recommend not watching it if you're interested in the film, as it shows ENTIRELY too much.

Does it show them taking out a cell phone and dialing 9-1-1?


I assume we get the now perfunctory due to technology scene of these three people all leaving their cell phones back at the lodge and one of them remarking "well, we'll be back soon" to somebody. Or perhaps some "they just don't work, we're up too high!" silliness.
 
2009-12-29 03:59:29 AM
Late to the thread, but I've actually been stuck on a skilift for 3+ hours.

It was opening day for Northstar in Lake Tahoe, I'm 8-9 years old and my dad took me up the new hill. The lift failed, we were probably 100 feet in the air and no way to move. Got seriously hypothermic. No fun at all.
 
Xai
2009-12-29 04:00:49 AM
lets look at the facts. 1) No phone (on anyone) 2) No-one notices 3 missing people 3) Not one of them can climb to save their lives (heck i could climb off and i weigh like 210lbs) 4) WTF wolves?

At least phone booth was possible - heck snakes on a plane was more plausible than this.
 
2009-12-29 04:05:04 AM
I actually liked Phone Booth...
 
2009-12-29 04:05:53 AM
Xai: lets look at the facts. 1) No phone (on anyone) 2) No-one notices 3 missing people 3) Not one of them can climb to save their lives (heck i could climb off and i weigh like 210lbs) 4) WTF wolves?

At least phone booth was possible - heck snakes on a plane was more plausible than this.


This would be better if the chair lift was haunted.
 
2009-12-29 04:06:19 AM
mooseyfate: I actually liked Phone Booth...

this is why created Postsecret was created, to save you from even saying that to the internet with so much as a handle to identify you by...
 
2009-12-29 04:07:55 AM
Are you taking your phone? Ok, then I'll leave mine here.

You forgot to charge it??
 
2009-12-29 04:09:45 AM
Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Are you taking your phone? Ok, then I'll leave mine here.

You forgot to charge it??


"I'm so startled!"
 
2009-12-29 04:28:35 AM
mooseyfate: I actually liked Phone Booth...

I'll say it loud and proud: I enjoyed it.
 
2009-12-29 04:38:23 AM
They need to make a movie about that engineer dude whose arm got stuck behind a boulder and after cutting his own arm off, walked several miles to get help.

In fact, let Werner Herzog film it.
 
2009-12-29 04:41:36 AM
coco ebert: They need to make a movie about that engineer dude whose arm got stuck behind a boulder and after cutting his own arm off, walked several miles to get help.

In fact, let Werner Herzog film it.


Yeah, but I feel like that would have to be an indie film, with lots of flashbacks, and some complex internal drama, possibly with a Morgan Freeman monologue voiceover.
 
2009-12-29 04:42:14 AM
Harry Knowles loved it so it has to be good!

Wasn't this a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode?
 
2009-12-29 04:45:08 AM
im.rediff.com

/Not impressed
 
2009-12-29 04:51:54 AM
Fellows: Confabulat: I'm a sucker for stories about people getting hopelessly stuck in lousy situations though.

Granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ski lifts but I'm having trouble seeing how only complete morons could get hopelessly stuck in a situation like this.


Worked at a ski resort, getting a kick, etc.

When it was time for the last run, the dudes at the bottom would call up to the dudes at the top letting them know the number of the last chair. Dudes at the top visually verify the last people off. They let the chairlift cycle through a few times to verify nobody else is on. Once they stop it, the dudes the top and ski patrol ski down and visually inspect every chair to ensure they're empty.
 
2009-12-29 05:41:34 AM
About as improbable as "Open Water II"
 
2009-12-29 05:42:37 AM
It's actually a story about a really fat guy who gets stuck in the seat, and it takes hours to find a heavy enough crowbar to pry his ass out of the seat.
 
2009-12-29 06:13:09 AM
What kind of ski resort is only open for the weekend?
 
Xai
2009-12-29 06:13:14 AM
Seriously though - what are they going to make into a horror film next?

Locked - A film about 3 teens in a car when all the door locks fail to operate at the same time.

Balcony - A film about 3 teens on a hotel balcony with a latch door that slams behind them.

Lawn Chair 2: Revenge of the scrotum
- 3 teens sit on lawn chairs in the nude for a laugh, getting their privates wedged between the planks in the process. And the door is too narrow to get the chairs through. And there are wolves in there too. Zombie wolves.
 
2009-12-29 06:16:33 AM
this would actually really truly terrorize me! Being stuck, that is - not the film (though not lining up for tickets)
 
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