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(Fark)   Fark's 2009 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest   ( fark.com) divider line
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14080 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2009 at 2:15 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



270 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2009-12-28 10:22:02 AM  
Hello and welcome to Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2009. Every year we wonder where the headlines will come from, and every year, the submitters deliver.

On that note, I'd like to thank all of the submitters that make Fark such an enjoyable place. Every one of them scours the news and then craft each headline, sometimes re-wording it, living and dying with each greenlight. You submitters make Fark what it is. Thank you.

Last week, we had four quarterfinals threads, and the top five from each quarter are here for your votes. Have at it.
 
2009-12-28 10:22:44 AM  
Suicide bomber strikes Iraqi funeral. At least two dead

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4284352
 
2009-12-28 10:23:06 AM  
Peephole in door of girl's dorm room reversed; police are looking into it

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4233284
 
2009-12-28 10:23:29 AM  
Baghdad's National Museum reopens six years after looting. Featured displays include mostly a bunch of really heavy stuff

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4228845
 
2009-12-28 10:23:54 AM  
Plane crashes in Florida panhandle, no pilot found. Well there's your problem

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4138365
 
2009-12-28 10:24:23 AM  
Carpenters face higher-than-average asbestos death rate, higher-than-average resurrection rate

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4247908
 
2009-12-28 10:24:45 AM  
Police find severed head, will later reveal whether it's "linked to body parts found in Hertfordshire." Submitter suspects the answer may be "Not any more"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4306764
 
2009-12-28 10:25:10 AM  
Man at Panda Express eats shoots and leaves

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4332430
 
2009-12-28 10:25:35 AM  
One killed, six injured in pie factory explosion. Blast heard up to 3.14159265 miles away

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4320734
 
2009-12-28 10:26:12 AM  
Man gets called into work so he can be fired, returns home to find his house on fire. Wishes he had been laid off

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4351606
 
2009-12-28 10:26:37 AM  
Fire rips through homeless camp, leaving dozens...well, no worse off, really

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4299493
 
2009-12-28 10:27:07 AM  
Fire officials in SoCal wildfires: "GTFO." Residents: "STFU." Fire: "NOM NOM NOM." Residents: "OMG." Fire department: "DIAF"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4608857
 
2009-12-28 10:29:42 AM  
80-ton wave generator works briefly as advertised when it falls into the ocean

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4651134
 
2009-12-28 10:30:08 AM  
That foot found at a NY recycling center? Turns out it belonged to a bear. You'd think police could recognize a bearclaw when they see one

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4563717
 
2009-12-28 10:30:37 AM  
India loses contact with an unmanned spacecraft conducting its first moon mission. Support techs ask Mission Control to confirm that the spacecraft is turned on and that it is currently plugged in

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4605340
 
2009-12-28 10:31:12 AM  
Police in London solve 1 crime for every 1000 CCTV cameras. Or about 2 for every 1984

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4595452
 
2009-12-28 10:31:45 AM  
Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4719284
 
2009-12-28 10:32:11 AM  
 
2009-12-28 10:32:25 AM  
Bolivian animal rights activists succeed in banning circuses from using animals, but now have to figure out what to do with 22 useless lions, a problem Detroit has faced for years

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4729890
 
2009-12-28 10:33:32 AM  
Small plane rapidly plunges into bottom end of Virgin Islands, to be renamed Technical Virgin Islands

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4735920
 
2009-12-28 10:33:55 AM  
Semi-nude Victoria's Secret fashion models reveal untold talents and you've already clicked the link, haven't you? Have I told you about my mother lately? No, she's doing fine, just making cheesecake and some muffins this morning

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4787841
 
2009-12-28 10:35:43 AM  
Some of your personal favorites might not have made the cut, but they probably made it to the quarterfinals threads last week. For anybody that wants to see the four quarterfinals threads, those can be found here:

Quarterfinals for Jan-Mar

Quarterfinals for Apr-Jun

Quarterfinals for Jul-Sep

Quarterfinals for Oct-Dec
 
2009-12-28 10:36:12 AM  
One final note, we still have upcoming contests this week for the subtabs (Sports, Geek, Showbiz, Politics, Business), puns/wordplay, parents of the year story, and dumbass of the year story.
 
2009-12-28 10:43:45 AM  
It's a tough call between the Om Nom Nom fire & the Jesus receiving Oral.
 
2009-12-28 10:50:37 AM  
I voted for several (everyone's a winner on Fark!), but liked the bearclaw one.

/ a vote for me is a vote for self esteem
 
2009-12-28 10:52:04 AM  
The one about the plane in the Florida panhandle with no pilot makes me chuckle every time.
 
2009-12-28 11:02:20 AM  
Great work, Unfreakable and the rest of tha admins.

If I could suggest a friendly amendment, I'd like to see an "Editor's Choice" as well, since the masses can't seem to be trusted (too much love for Oral, IMO). think of it as an electoral college where the truly great headlines get the recognition they deserve.

Voting for Wave generator, technical virgin, gas exit, baghdad museum and the circus lions
 
2009-12-28 11:05:36 AM  
I do like this year wrap up shiznet. Concentrated funny, just add beer.
 
2009-12-28 11:07:40 AM  
Also liked peephole, panda and the guy who got fired. Great stuff!
 
2009-12-28 11:10:14 AM  
This was a good year.

/69, Oral, Om Nom Nom, severed head
 
2009-12-28 11:23:53 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: If I could suggest a friendly amendment, I'd like to see an "Editor's Choice" as well


Good Idea. Maybe a farkstaff choice after it ends.
And thanks again, Unfreakable + helpers/staff. You make this time of year one of the most enjoyable on fark. This is a pretty big job that we all appreciate you doing.
 
2009-12-28 11:38:48 AM  
The "fire officials" one is pure awesome. I laugh every time I read it.

In terms of funny headlines though, last year was better.
 
2009-12-28 11:45:59 AM  
I submitted most of these with more pathetic headlines.

Great headline year, gang!
 
2009-12-28 11:51:06 AM  
Cleve headlines. My favorites are about the suicide bomber and the peephole.

And thanks, Unfreakable et al for doing a remarkable job.
 
2009-12-28 11:53:47 AM  
I'm a huge fan of the Iraqi funeral one. Homeless camp fire is a close second, though.
 
2009-12-28 11:56:33 AM  

I subimeteeedd

this with abetttter headline

s

/subby
not
 
2009-12-28 12:14:36 PM  
As always, it's too hard to choose just one (or two, or three....)! You are a bunch of funny Farkers!
 
2009-12-28 12:19:20 PM  
As always, I would like to thank Unfreakable.
You do a good job in a bad.......
 
2009-12-28 12:21:16 PM  
And thanks, Unfreakable, for setting this whole thing up and seeing it through!
 
2009-12-28 12:23:57 PM  
Plane w/o pilot
Pi vs pie
Severed head
and the 1984 reference.

/Love em all!
//Gotta catch them all!
 
2009-12-28 01:02:09 PM  
Penis vagina. Penis vagina. Penis vagina.
 
2009-12-28 01:04:12 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: As always, I would like to thank Unfreakable.
You do a good job in a bad.......


this!
 
2009-12-28 01:04:16 PM  
pie makes me laugh... but I can't stop giggling at the wave generator one.

good work Unfreakable!
 
2009-12-28 01:06:21 PM  
Thanks, everybody. Feel free to spread the word about the contest, now that it's live.
 
2009-12-28 01:06:41 PM  
So many good choices. I can't decide! I do laugh my ass off everytime I read the pilot missing and bear claw one. Oh! And the severed head! That one is classic. Then, there's the technical virgin island. Not to leave out the fire nom nom noming and the suicide bomber.
We're dealing with some real serious shiat here.
 
2009-12-28 01:07:03 PM  
awesome.
 
2009-12-28 01:10:02 PM  
Man, how did "Former Catholic Archbishop shredded sex abuse reports, anuses" not even make the quarterfinals? Must've been poor timing...
 
2009-12-28 01:11:49 PM  
I voted for a bunch of them, probably defeating the purpose of the whole contest, but Detroit's 22 useless lions always cracks me up.

Thanks for all your work on this, Unfreakable.
 
2009-12-28 01:13:27 PM  
severed head is my favorite, I can just see Peter Sellers saying that line

gas 69 is next, i remember that thread.

/they were all very good
 
2009-12-28 01:13:56 PM  
I chuckled mightily at Carpenter Resurrection and Technical Virgin Islands, but I think this year's true gem is Eats Shoots and Leaves. Simple and brilliant, just like last year.
 
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