Fark needs a jackass tag

He's getting an early run on the Douche of the Century competition.

Separated at birth?

impaler: Where's a picture of that guy holding a champagne glass, wearing a tux, and standing in front of an older BMW? That guy uses Joe Francis as an example of why he isn't that big of a douche.



You rang?

rmz: You rang?

"Make it quick though, I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes."

rmz: impaler: Where's a picture of that guy holding a champagne glass, wearing a tux, and standing in front of an older BMW? That guy uses Joe Francis as an example of why he isn't that big of a douche.



You rang?

Ah yes; while I never ran into him personally, I spent the six months I worked in the Buckhead district of ATL dreading the day I might just bump into him.

Haha, that was funny. I like satire. Wait...

And you know why he objects to being called "a rapist"? Because he's "the rapist". Get you're farking articles right, Gawker.

Anal bum covers for $200, Alex?

rmz: impaler: Where's a picture of that guy holding a champagne glass, wearing a tux, and standing in front of an older BMW? That guy uses Joe Francis as an example of why he isn't that big of a douche.



You rang?

I believe that's a martini glass, and it really pulls the whole picture together.

I Said: Raw Toast: Fark needs a jackass tag

Fark needs a "Douche Hierarchy". A list where you get one up vote and one down vote each week. I imagine this guy, Mr. 26 minutes, and King Douche Von Crunknozzle fighting over first place. Probably the John and Kate plus 8 guy as well.

You forgot Dimitri the Stud and Douche Quadbike.

palelizard: Haha, that was funny. I like satire. Wait...

And you know why he objects to being called "a rapist"? Because he's "the rapist". Get you're farking articles right, Gawker.



"I'll take Joe Francis for $200, Trebek"

I Said: Raw Toast: Fark needs a jackass tag

Fark needs a "Douche Hierarchy". A list where you get one up vote and one down vote each week. I imagine this guy, Mr. 26 minutes, and King Douche Von Crunknozzle fighting over first place. Probably the John and Kate plus 8 guy as well.

You forgot



and

Courtney Cox-Zucker: I Said: Raw Toast: Fark needs a jackass tag

Fark needs a "Douche Hierarchy". A list where you get one up vote and one down vote each week. I imagine this guy, Mr. 26 minutes, and King Douche Von Crunknozzle fighting over first place. Probably the John and Kate plus 8 guy as well.

You forgot Dimitri the Stud and Douche Quadbike.

And Pete Wentz. He is from Wentz the name came.

the_vegetarian_cannibal: I Said: Raw Toast: Fark needs a jackass tag

Fark needs a "Douche Hierarchy". A list where you get one up vote and one down vote each week. I imagine this guy, Mr. 26 minutes, and King Douche Von Crunknozzle fighting over first place. Probably the John and Kate plus 8 guy as well.

You forgot



and

21 seconds, you fine young cannibal.

impaler: Bloody William: I believe that's a martini glass, and it really pulls the whole picture together.

Yep. I remembered it as a champagne glass. Now I'm trying to decide which one would be douchier.

Why not shop out the martini glass and throw in a cognac snifter? That's super douchetastic.

I find Girls Gone Wild horribly offensive. Not because of the exploitation of women, although that part sucks too, but because of its obvious disdain for its audience.

It's not really porn. It's porn-lite. It's the Splenda of porn. You want boobs? Watch a rated-R movie, or get HBO. Boobs are everywhere, do you really need to buy DVDs of just... drunk girls showing their boobs?

Girls Gone Wild presumes that you're so big a loser that not only are you never going to see breasts, but you are so stupid you can't use the Internet and such a pussball that you can't get actual porn, where the dong goes in and all of that. It's a franchise that says "You suck so bad, you're actually a rung of manliness, confidence, and capability BELOW the creepy motherfarkers you see at Barnes & Noble looking through the art books with the naked ladies in them."

Similarly, Joe Francis (he has two first names, and neither of them are very good) himself draws the same contrast with Larry Flynt. At least the perverted weirdo in the wheelchair is enough of a man to shell out money to actually have the dong go in.

Courtney Cox-Zucker: I Said: Raw Toast: Fark needs a jackass tag

Fark needs a "Douche Hierarchy". A list where you get one up vote and one down vote each week. I imagine this guy, Mr. 26 minutes, and King Douche Von Crunknozzle fighting over first place. Probably the John and Kate plus 8 guy as well.

You forgot Dimitri the Stud and Douche Quadbike.

And MR. COOL ICE.

impaler: Yep. I remembered it as a champagne glass. Now I'm trying to decide which one would be douchier.

I think the champagne glass would be douchier, because with the martini glass you can imagine that he's just a 40-something dweeb in a mid-life crisis or at a really lame Halloween party, pretending to be James Bond.

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Why not shop out the martini glass and throw in a cognac snifter? That's super douchetastic.

Oh man, I like where you're going with that. The only thing douchier than a cognac/brandy snifter would be a Lil John crunk cup held "ironically" by a white guy with a fanned-out stack of dollar bills in his other hand.

I find Girls Gone Wild horribly offensive. Why couldn't they mix it up a little. Nothing but white girls, hardly any Spanish, Asian or African Americans.

"I'm suing you, so here's a half-naked picture of myself."

/looks shopped.
//can tell

Bloody William: I find Girls Gone Wild horribly offensive. Not because of the exploitation of women, although that part sucks too, but because of its obvious disdain for its audience.

It's not really porn. It's porn-lite. It's the Splenda of porn. You want boobs? Watch a rated-R movie, or get HBO. Boobs are everywhere, do you really need to buy DVDs of just... drunk girls showing their boobs?

Girls Gone Wild presumes that you're so big a loser that not only are you never going to see breasts, but you are so stupid you can't use the Internet and such a pussball that you can't get actual porn, where the dong goes in and all of that. It's a franchise that says "You suck so bad, you're actually a rung of manliness, confidence, and capability BELOW the creepy motherfarkers you see at Barnes & Noble looking through the art books with the naked ladies in them."

Similarly, Joe Francis (he has two first names, and neither of them are very good) himself draws the same contrast with Larry Flynt. At least the perverted weirdo in the wheelchair is enough of a man to shell out money to actually have the dong go in.

Does anyone even buy or watch Girls Gone Wild anymore? Really, the only times I've ever heard the franchise being mentioned in the past 4 years or so is whenever Joe Francis gets on the news over more legal trouble (like in this case).

I like the confidentiality agreement at the end of the email, I didn't know laws worked that way.

I think I might end the next email I send with "By reading this, you are legally obliged to give me every dime you own."

I, for one, fondly remember middle school: watching Girls Gone Wild commercials without pants before my dad got the Internet and after the scrambled Cinemax disappeared.

Wait...

I thought he was a nevernude (?)

impaler: Where's a picture of that guy holding a champagne glass, wearing a tux, and standing in front of an older BMW? That guy uses Joe Francis as an example of why he isn't that big of a douche.

HAHAHA, I had forgotten about that guy, thanks (and thanks for those who posted pics) for reminding me what ridiculous looks like. I'm surprised he hasn't been cast on some reality show somewhere.

squidgod2000: "I'm suing you, so here's a half-naked picture of myself."

/looks shopped.
//can tell

The Weeners had it better put;
"I am NOT A RAPIST!!!!!! By the way, here's a naked photo of me."

I Said: I don't remember Dimitri the Stud and Douche Quadbike.

See The Legend of Douche Quadbike here.

Dimitri the Stud may or may not be a hoax.

I Said: Probably the John and Kate plus 8 guy as well.

you mean jon?

I also find it surprising that Francis is so successful, since there's way raunchier stuff on the Internet, all for free. Then again, people must be buying it, otherwise he wouldn't be douching up the news all the time.

Maybe there's sort of a voyeuristic element, the idea being that these are like your regular, everyday girls baring their chests during a weekend bacchanal. That's really the only appeal I can see, and it's still exploitative.

Is regular porn exploitative? It can be, even if it's not always obvious. Certainly I can't imagine that the average porn actor/actress is particularly stable, though I'm sure there's a fair number who are quite comfortable with what they do. Still, the people doing porn get paid for it, and (hopefully) know what they're getting into.

With Joe Francis, it's a creepy guy taking advantage of drunk chicks. Not only that, it's generally pretty mild.

Anyway, that's my impression after only one cup of coffee.

rmz: impaler: Where's a picture of that guy holding a champagne glass, wearing a tux, and standing in front of an older BMW? That guy uses Joe Francis as an example of why he isn't that big of a douche.

You rang?

After the Bob Saget roast, the only thing I can think of when I see this guy is Lewis Black's rif on Stamos:

"26 minutes guy - you are so GAY!"

Bloody William: It's not really porn. It's porn-lite. It's the Splenda of porn. You want boobs? Watch a rated-R movie, or get HBO. Boobs are everywhere, do you really need to buy DVDs of just... drunk girls showing their boobs?

It's important to remember that when GGW first started, porn wasn't everywhere. Or, at least, the internet wasn't quite common place enough/fast enough that you could get better porn for free on a dozen different sites. I'm partially ashamed to admit that I can distinctly remember seeing those commercials on late night MTV or Comedy Central and thinking that I should maybe get one, mostly because the best alternative were 300k JPG's that you collected on your HD because they took 10 minutes to download.

Which makes it all the more amazing that this douche still has a career when you think about it. What is he offering that I can't find on Youporn?

I get it, it's funny because he actually is a rapist.

RoxtarRyan: Separated at birth?

Nope, but they do go to the same gym

Magorn: I think that these are not porn stars who are being paid very well for thier screen time and might actually being enjoying themselves, but regular girls who are being subtly coerced into doing things on film that they will find humliating for the rest of their sober lives

Got to admit, not everyone was raised (or enjoys) some size zero, overly tanned, plastic blond being banged repeatedly with a vacant expression on her face, all the while moaning and groaning like she was going through some percocet clouded child birth. Some guys (and girls) like "real", ala these are not paid "actresses", but real hometown girls, that got themselves drunk, and decided...eh, why not, why flash the goodies and maybe a little extra for a free tee shirt. Yeah, you can find better online, but for some even this "porn lite" beats the heck out of "porn heavy", or in other words, sometimes a Miller Lite is actually a better choice than a Milwaukee's Best.

Courtney Cox-Zucker: See The Legend of Douche Quadbike here.

wow. i have never had the pleasure of viewing that bit of awesomeness, until now. thanks.

jayhawk88: Bloody William: It's not really porn. It's porn-lite. It's the Splenda of porn. You want boobs? Watch a rated-R movie, or get HBO. Boobs are everywhere, do you really need to buy DVDs of just... drunk girls showing their boobs?

It's important to remember that when GGW first started, porn wasn't everywhere. Or, at least, the internet wasn't quite common place enough/fast enough that you could get better porn for free on a dozen different sites. I'm partially ashamed to admit that I can distinctly remember seeing those commercials on late night MTV or Comedy Central and thinking that I should maybe get one, mostly because the best alternative were 300k JPG's that you collected on your HD because they took 10 minutes to download.

Which makes it all the more amazing that this douche still has a career when you think about it. What is he offering that I can't find on Youporn?

Your also forgetting his business model is the same as the Computer Professor guys was. If you'd have ordered that one DVD out of curiosity you'd have kept getting them every few weeks and kept getting charged way more then the original $19.99 since you'd been secretly enrolled in his GGW DVD Club. After you jumped through all the hoops to get the charges to your CC stopped you'd have to decide if it was worthwhile going to court, basically admit you're a perv and try and get money back; or just write it off as an expensive lesson learned.

Pappas: You've got it right on. He makes videos for people exactly like him. Regular porn is just sex. Girls Gone Wild is voyeurism... seeing what you aren't supposed to see, drunk girls doing dumb things. A subscription to GGW is like a membership card for a date rapist club.

And yet chloroform is so much cheaper

milliondollarmurray: I, for one, fondly remember middle school: watching Girls Gone Wild commercials without pants before my dad got the Internet and after the scrambled Cinemax disappeared.

That was the one use for GGW. (was in college when it came out, so I didn't care, but I can see that it fulfills exactly that void)