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(London Times)   Having never seen Poltergeist, US Marines build outpost on graveyard. What could possibly go wrong?   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 146
    More: Unlikely, U.S. Marines, rocket-propelled grenades, Alpha Company, small arms, British troops, Alexander the Great, Patrol Base Hassan Abad, BBC World News  
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14788 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2009 at 7:04 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-28 01:31:30 AM
If Lance Corporal Sokolowski gets stuck in a television again, they're going to dock his pay.
 
2009-12-28 03:19:00 AM
Sounds like a great hook for a modern-day CALL OF CTHULHU scenario
 
2009-12-28 05:36:39 AM
At least it isn't a Pet Sematary
 
2009-12-28 06:01:39 AM
What could possibly go wrong?

Nothing.

... What? Get fu--in' real.

mek1980.files.wordpress.com

Worst case scenario: the living take offense.
 
2009-12-28 06:07:09 AM
"He was yelling and begging me to go up to the firing point he was guarding," Corporal Lima, 22, told the men taking over from him. "When I got there he said that he was sitting there when he heard a voice whisper something in his ear. He said it sounded like Russian. He begged me to stay in there with him till he was relieved from guard duty. After that he really didn't like standing post up there."

Serious point: I respect our troops, but find it disturbing that anyone this blatantly goddamn stupid is given weaponry and the authority to use it.

You had a scary dream and it caused this amount of problems? You're a Marine. Not five.
 
2009-12-28 06:24:18 AM
I guess somebody could develop gout, or there could be an outbreak of flu.
 
2009-12-28 06:38:40 AM
"You son of a biatch, you left the bodies and you only moved the head stones. You only moved the head stones. Why? Why?"
 
2009-12-28 07:05:37 AM
WFern: "He was yelling and begging me to go up to the firing point he was guarding," Corporal Lima, 22, told the men taking over from him. "When I got there he said that he was sitting there when he heard a voice whisper something in his ear. He said it sounded like Russian. He begged me to stay in there with him till he was relieved from guard duty. After that he really didn't like standing post up there."

Serious point: I respect our troops, but find it disturbing that anyone this blatantly goddamn stupid is given weaponry and the authority to use it.

You had a scary dream and it caused this amount of problems? You're a Marine. Not five.


And this Russian ghost spoke in Russian or a bad Yakov Smirnoff impression? Still, making up ghost stories is a time honor tradition in the military. You spend 12 to 18 hours staring at nothing and your brain will start to make shiat up. Plus, passing on these stories to gullible noobs as stone cold fact is one of few joys life of deployed life.

This does not, however, change the fact the stories are totally bullshiat.
 
2009-12-28 07:07:08 AM
Sorry guys, I can't find a facepalm big enough for this.
 
2009-12-28 07:09:20 AM
What could possibly go wrong?

Not a damn thing as long as the area is geologically stable.
 
2009-12-28 07:11:15 AM
Aw... are those big, bad Marines scared of the white carbon sticks? Isn't it cute?!
 
2009-12-28 07:12:46 AM
Yeah, between ghosts and Marines, I'd bet on the Marines.
 
2009-12-28 07:17:57 AM
I had sex with a ghost that materialized in the form of a bowl of warm mashed potatoes.
 
2009-12-28 07:21:54 AM
Streetlights.
 
2009-12-28 07:22:42 AM
Why am I not surprised that it's 2/8?
 
2009-12-28 07:23:29 AM
Clearly this marine is unfamilar with "Doom".
 
2009-12-28 07:24:01 AM
Wow. I bet you guys were real popular with the neighbourhood kids when you were younger, what with your disproving of spook houses and ouija boards and bloody Mary and telling everyone about the true pagan origins of halloween.
Just enjoy the freaky stuff, ok? You don't have to be wearing your CSICOP badges everywhere you go.
 
2009-12-28 07:25:44 AM
Wow. Is the TimesOnLine owned by the UK Sun?
 
2009-12-28 07:26:17 AM
DjangoStonereaver: Sounds like a great hook for a modern-day CALL OF CTHULHU scenario

thereport.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-28 07:27:04 AM
What could possibly go wrong?

i711.photobucket.com

/damned clowns
 
2009-12-28 07:27:08 AM
AngryAngryHippo: I bet you guys were real popular with the neighbourhood kids when you were younger, what with your disproving of spook houses and ouija boards and bloody Mary and telling everyone about the true pagan origins of halloween.

Enjoying it does not necessarily require an actual belief in it. I manage to enjoy playing WoW and DDO without believing in overly endowed space goats or feminized elves able to shoot purple gobs of whatever from their fingertips.

/sometimes the enjoyment comes from mocking those who take these things seriously
 
2009-12-28 07:27:51 AM
spentmiles: I had sex with a ghost that materialized in the form of a bowl of warm mashed potatoes.

i.imagehost.org

Hot like a ghost blowjob.
 
2009-12-28 07:30:06 AM
Murkanen: /sometimes the enjoyment comes from mocking those who take these things seriously

I suggest you get yourself a new social identity.
 
2009-12-28 07:32:40 AM
WFern: "He was yelling and begging me to go up to the firing point he was guarding," Corporal Lima, 22, told the men taking over from him. "When I got there he said that he was sitting there when he heard a voice whisper something in his ear. He said it sounded like Russian. He begged me to stay in there with him till he was relieved from guard duty. After that he really didn't like standing post up there."

Serious point: I respect our troops, but find it disturbing that anyone this blatantly goddamn stupid is given weaponry and the authority to use it.

You had a scary dream and it caused this amount of problems? You're a Marine. Not five.


Well, combat soldiers tend to be rather superstitious:

farm4.static.flickr.com

Then again, they're probably farking with their embedded reporter, which is always a fun game.

"Hey reporter dude, if you lie right next to the muzzle-brake of the Barrett .50 cal, you can get a really good photo of what he's shooting at."
 
2009-12-28 07:33:40 AM
AngryAngryHippo: Wow. I bet you guys were real popular with the neighbourhood kids when you were younger

I bet you're real popular with them now.
 
2009-12-28 07:35:41 AM
AngryAngryHippo: I suggest you get yourself a new social identity.

Because if there's one thing that Fark frowns upon it is the mockery of ridiculous beliefs, amirite?
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2009-12-28 07:42:56 AM
"O dread event, and is thy vision true?
Last night within my fairest dreams appeared
The warders of the haunted well, and stretched
Their hands in supplication. "Choose," they said."

- 'The Tradgedy of Etarre: A Poem' by Rhys Carpenter (1912)
 
2009-12-28 07:53:38 AM
Sgt Otter:
Well, combat soldiers tend to be rather superstitious:



Then again, they're probably farking with their embedded reporter, which is always a fun game.

"Hey reporter dude, if you lie right next to the muzzle-brake of the Barrett .50 cal, you can get a really good photo of what he's shooting at."


Bad Sgt. Bad, bad Sgt. I'm guessing there's recoil?
/KONK!
 
2009-12-28 07:54:05 AM
Did they at least see Poultrygeist?
 
2009-12-28 07:55:49 AM
Ennuipoet: Still, making up ghost stories is a time honor tradition in the military. You spend 12 to 18 hours staring at nothing and your brain will start to make shiat up. Plus, passing on these stories to gullible noobs as stone cold fact is one of few joys life of deployed life.

This.

Sgt Otter: Then again, they're probably farking with their embedded reporter, which is always a fun game.

And this, too.
 
2009-12-28 08:03:16 AM
AngryAngryHippo: spentmiles: I had sex with a ghost that materialized in the form of a bowl of warm mashed potatoes.



Hot like a ghost blowjob.


And all Harry Potter got was a ghost handjob.
/man, that scene was creepy...
//even worse, the kid looked like he was gonna let her take him to Happy Ending for a second there.
///Is it still necrophilia with a consenting partner?
 
2009-12-28 08:04:53 AM
What's the worst that can happen?
(new window)
 
2009-12-28 08:07:53 AM
Sgt Otter: Well, combat soldiers tend to be rather superstitious:

(image of charms)

Don't joke about them. I am about as septic as they come, and I will haze boots for eating the farking charms.

But yes, being in the desert alone and at night is unsettling at best. Especially if you are all hopped up on energy drinks and sugar to stay awake.
 
2009-12-28 08:08:47 AM
Elmo Jones: Sgt Otter:
Well, combat soldiers tend to be rather superstitious:



Then again, they're probably farking with their embedded reporter, which is always a fun game.

"Hey reporter dude, if you lie right next to the muzzle-brake of the Barrett .50 cal, you can get a really good photo of what he's shooting at."

Bad Sgt. Bad, bad Sgt. I'm guessing there's recoil?
/KONK!


Even funnier is telling someone to keep their hand really high up on the grip of a 1911. Especially when they're a journalist who has to be taking notes all the time.
/I understand a Sig can be just as nasty, based on one cop I've seen with a heavilly bandaged hand.
 
2009-12-28 08:09:07 AM
A graveyard? BFD. They built a base on the site of Babylon in Iraq. That's right...Babylon. You may have heard of it? In the Old Testament? One of humanity's oldest known urban areas? Yeah. That Babylon. Just a *perfect* spot for filling up sandbags and driving really heavy equipment all over the place.

www.pixagen.com
 
2009-12-28 08:12:29 AM
The WindowLicker: am about as septic as they come

*skeptic

thats quite the fail, I have no infected injurys right now...
 
2009-12-28 08:26:41 AM
Well that's convenient. They won't have to send 'em as far to bury 'em when they die pointlessly.
 
2009-12-28 08:28:20 AM
Sgt Otter: If you're sitting in the line of the vents, it's going to blast a bunch of sand, dirt, etc. in your face, plus the gas smells and tastes like ass.

Commonly referred to as the "tossed salad" effect. (from the grass and leaves it kicks up of course)
 
2009-12-28 08:40:57 AM
U.S. Marines? Then it's the ghosts who should be worried.
 
2009-12-28 08:47:48 AM
WFern: "He was yelling and begging me to go up to the firing point he was guarding," Corporal Lima, 22, told the men taking over from him. "When I got there he said that he was sitting there when he heard a voice whisper something in his ear. He said it sounded like Russian. He begged me to stay in there with him till he was relieved from guard duty. After that he really didn't like standing post up there."

Serious point: I respect our troops, but find it disturbing that anyone this blatantly goddamn stupid is given weaponry and the authority to use it.

You had a scary dream and it caused this amount of problems? You're a Marine. Not five.


Ummm...soldiers are dumbest people in the world, if they were smart they would go into buisness, loses hundreds of billions of dollars from mom and pop America, and get billions in bounses for it. Instead they decide to be walking meat shields.

Besides with the massive number of "ghost hunter", "talking to the dead", and "paranormal investigation" tv shows aired I'm amazed that every square inch of every place on earth is not considered "haunted".

I miss Harry Houdini.
 
2009-12-28 08:50:14 AM
Swamp gas from a weather baloon trapped in a thermal pocket bouncing off the planet Venus.
 
2009-12-28 08:55:18 AM
Ennuipoet: Still, making up ghost stories is a time honor tradition in the military.

Too true. Go to just about any base (in the US or overseas) and there's at least one story about a building or a part of the base that's reportedly haunted.
 
2009-12-28 08:59:58 AM
DaCricket: Ennuipoet: Still, making up ghost stories is a time honor tradition in the military.

Too true. Go to just about any base (in the US or overseas) and there's at least one story about a building or a part of the base that's reportedly haunted.


Well, gee, they're all lying?
 
2009-12-28 09:00:01 AM
IS THERE A SPOOKY GHOST IN HERE?!
 
2009-12-28 09:01:29 AM
I think that one of the Marines should prove their bravery by going to the graveyard at midnight, and then stick a knife into a grave to prove they had been there.
 
2009-12-28 09:02:05 AM
nm651984: IS THERE A SPOOKY GHOST IN HERE?!

Bustin' makes me feel good.
 
2009-12-28 09:12:57 AM
There's two kinds of people: those who know that ghosts aren't real, and those who have had that paradigm shattered by reality.
 
2009-12-28 09:15:09 AM
This is why we're losing in Iraq and Afghanistan. The marines have obviously become huge pussies. You think you saw a ghost? Boo freakin hoo. You're a goddamn marine, not a farking cheerleader. Man up, grow a pair, and STAND there. I know you're a jar head, but that can't be too hard of a job for you, can it? There are only 3 steps, two of which you should have completed by making it to age 22 in the usmc.
 
2009-12-28 09:18:55 AM
"They reburied most of them but also found bodies."

MOST! What did they do with the rest.
 
2009-12-28 09:27:50 AM
Capt._ARGH!!!: MOST! What did they do with the rest.

Two words: "Hood ornaments". For some reason MRAPS and Hmmwvs come stock without them. A quality skull would be just the ticket, especially if you can get some desert tan spray paint to make them match.

Not An Alt: . Man up, grow a pair, and STAND there. I know you're a jar head, but that can't be too hard of a job for you, can it? There are only 3 steps, two of which you should have completed by making it to age 22 in the usmc.

Are you claiming there are only 3 milestones to becoming a man? Offhand I would say: become self sufficient, take responsibility for your own actions, and come to terms with your own mortality. Usually marines have hit all 3 by age 22, (the middle one seems to be the hardest) so we must have different criteria.
 
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