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(Science Daily)   Swedish researchers conclude there is probably no Santa. Here comes the science   (sciencedaily.com) divider line 42
    More: Unlikely, Santa Claus, Swedish, working conditions, North Carolina State University, cardiology, Says Public Health Doctor, investigators, Hindus  
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5345 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2009 at 1:31 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-27 01:00:31 AM  
The physics of Santa Claus one is better.
 
2009-12-27 01:33:06 AM  
Don't tell Virginia.
 
2009-12-27 01:33:50 AM  
Whatevs.
i26.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-27 01:38:04 AM  
Why the hell do people keep wasting time on trying to debunk santa when everyone KNOWS he isnt real anyway?? It boggles the mind.
 
2009-12-27 01:41:19 AM  
fark that, he brought me an iPhone and a new George Foreman, and some lottery tickets. How do they explain that?
 
2009-12-27 01:43:11 AM  
TheOriginalEd: Why the hell do people keep wasting time on trying to debunk santa when everyone KNOWS he isnt real anyway?? It boggles the mind.

Because they spend much less time debunking Santa than doing actual research, and it yields more publicity.
 
2009-12-27 01:49:01 AM  
It's those militant a-Santa-ists again.
 
2009-12-27 01:50:26 AM  
Swedish researchers can kiss my ass.
 
2009-12-27 01:55:25 AM  
Glad they waited until after Xmas or I wouldn't have gotten any toys.
 
2009-12-27 01:57:20 AM  
i880.photobucket.com

/Still real to me
 
2009-12-27 02:01:51 AM  
Haha, subby you can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause.
 
2009-12-27 02:03:40 AM  
I'll wait for the leaked e-mails.
 
Rat [TotalFark]
2009-12-27 02:04:40 AM  
No mention of the magic dust.

©
 
2009-12-27 02:22:54 AM  
You researchers shut your whore mouths.

There may not be a god, but there sure as shiat is a Santa Claus. Because how the hell else are mothers going to keep the under-5 set in line throughout the year?

(My three oldest nephews were once acting up in a restaurant; the oldest was then 5 or 6. My sister told them to settle down "Santa Claus IS watching you right now!!" and by gum they calmed down in an instant and for the rest of the day.)
 
2009-12-27 02:33:53 AM  
This article is bullshiat. The physics of Santa are bullshiat too. He's a farking magical-ass elf! Physics doesn't apply. Your science doesn't farking matter. Farking asshats.
 
2009-12-27 02:34:59 AM  
Gyrfalcon: You researchers shut your whore mouths.
how the hell else are mothers going to keep the under-5 set in line throughout the year?

(My three oldest nephews were once acting up in a restaurant; the oldest was then 5 or 6. My sister told them to settle down "Santa Claus IS watching you right now!!" and by gum they calmed down in an instant and for the rest of the day.)



Geez, i dunno .. slap the little bastards .. or at least threaten such things ??
 
2009-12-27 02:37:53 AM  
Narky1: Gyrfalcon: You researchers shut your whore mouths.
how the hell else are mothers going to keep the under-5 set in line throughout the year?

(My three oldest nephews were once acting up in a restaurant; the oldest was then 5 or 6. My sister told them to settle down "Santa Claus IS watching you right now!!" and by gum they calmed down in an instant and for the rest of the day.)


Geez, i dunno .. slap the little bastards .. or at least threaten such things ??


But why? Santa worked just as well, without the physical violence.
 
2009-12-27 02:39:58 AM  
This article appears every f*cking year.

That said, if Santa DID exist in the fashion he is alleged to, he should have no problem with either time travel or multiple fat old men used as duplicates. He has anti-gravity already, the other shiat can't be far behind.
 
2009-12-27 02:40:42 AM  
You serious, Clark?
 
2009-12-27 02:41:53 AM  
I just think it is awesome that on Fark you can hover over things with your mouse and get useful information. For instance, on this story while hovering over the source (Science Daily), you get text telling you that it is Science Daily. When you mouse over the Unlikely tag, text tells you that, yes, it is indeed the unlikely tag. Then if you happen to pass by the headline, text will tell you again that the source is Science Daily because maybe you thought it wasn't.
 
2009-12-27 03:03:25 AM  
There is too a Santa!! How else do you explain this getting a green light???
 
2009-12-27 03:11:26 AM  
T-Luv: fark that, he brought me an iPhone and a new George Foreman, and some lottery tickets. How do they explain that?

img30.imageshack.us
 
2009-12-27 03:14:42 AM  
Fluorescent Testicle: T-Luv: fark that, he brought me an iPhone and a new George Foreman, and some lottery tickets. How do they explain that?

Aren't all of the boxer George Foreman's sons named George? Did he have another male child?
 
2009-12-27 03:40:03 AM  
Panty Sniffer: Fluorescent Testicle: T-Luv: fark that, he brought me an iPhone and a new George Foreman, and some lottery tickets. How do they explain that?

Aren't all of the boxer George Foreman's sons named George? Did he have another male child?


I thought his daughters were named george too. But maybe that was a joke I heard.
 
2009-12-27 03:42:28 AM  
Gyrfalcon: But why? Santa worked just as well, without the physical violence.

The same thing is true of religion as a social control system. Well, for a little while, anyhow.
 
2009-12-27 04:13:16 AM  
Dammit! Why can't this thread be anything like the last thread (new window) that dealt with the Swedish?

\other thread now closed
\\darnit!
\\\image collector got a nice workout though
 
2009-12-27 04:25:00 AM  
RamblinReck89: This article is bullshiat. The physics of Santa are bullshiat too. He's a farking magical-ass elf! Physics doesn't apply. Your science doesn't farking matter. Farking asshats.

Actually because Santa lacks full 'counterintuitive' status (being that he's portrayed as a normal man with magical elves and magical reindeer), most people have no problem with these 'proofs' of his nonexistence.

God, being fully counterintuitive runs into trouble there, and physical disproofs are ignored.

Yay science!
 
2009-12-27 05:16:13 AM  
You know what Sweden? If it weren't for your hot girls, I'd pop ya in the mouth. In fact, screw it, I'm gonna pop ya in the mouth anyway. While you're on the ground crying, I'll be nailing all of your hot daughters.fark You,
Santa
 
2009-12-27 05:48:08 AM  
RamblinReck89: This article is bullshiat. The physics of Santa are bullshiat too. He's a farking magical-ass elf! Physics doesn't apply. Your science doesn't farking matter. Farking asshats.

THIS!

As if Santa follows Newtonian Laws of Physics. Real physicists understand that Santa's wave function goes to 11. Not only does he exist everywhere he also doesn't exist. At the same time.

When the little whipper snappers wake up on xmas morning and run shrieking into the family room the Santa field collapses and either there are presents under the tree or not.
 
2009-12-27 06:57:49 AM  
What does their bikini team think about all this?
 
2009-12-27 07:15:28 AM  
RamblinReck89: This article is bullshiat. The physics of Santa are bullshiat too. He's a farking magical-ass elf! Physics doesn't apply. Your science doesn't farking matter. Farking asshats.

It's funny because my dad basically uses the exact same strategy whenever we have one of our does-god-exist 'discussions' (where I talk 10% of the time, he yells the other 90).
 
2009-12-27 08:02:16 AM  
I like teaching children about Santa.

At some point, as they get older, they come to realise that this miracle-performing judgemental figure whose subjective rules they must obey in order to get rewarded is patently ridiculous.

Which leads them nicely into thinking critically about religion in general
 
2009-12-27 10:01:18 AM  
Mayhem_2006: thinking critically about religion in general

Yeah, took me about two years to make the leap...
 
2009-12-27 10:31:32 AM  
tzankoff: Dammit! Why can't this thread be anything like the last thread (new window) that dealt with the Swedish?


If people won't be nice to Santa, he's got other stockings to fill. Like, uh, Elke's here, who says she used to be on the Swedish Bikini Team. Hey, Santa has needs, too.

www.dotphoto.com
 
2009-12-27 10:49:18 AM  
Yeah, ol' Santa doesn't want to leave anyone out. Plenty of non-Swedish helpers to thank, too. Thank, spank, whatever.

coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-27 11:18:02 AM  
The math on Santa's cookie habit:

1 cookie and 1 glass of skim milk at each stop in the US alone is:

19,190,000,000 calories

Good luck Santa.
 
2009-12-27 11:41:26 AM  
Santa's Not Real??!?!?!
 
2009-12-27 11:46:38 AM  
swenglishrantings.com

I don't know about Santa but there has got to be a God.

/ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
 
2009-12-27 11:57:45 AM  
I think they should stop worrying about his health. At ~1600 years old, I'd say he can eat the god damn cookie if he wants. And fark you and your pills.
 
2009-12-27 05:12:51 PM  
I believe in Father Christmas!
 
2009-12-27 09:42:02 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-12-28 04:37:14 PM  
DIGITALgimpus: The math on Santa's cookie habit:

1 cookie and 1 glass of skim milk at each stop in the US alone is:

19,190,000,000 calories

Good luck Santa.


None of this guy's logic holds because he doesn't exclude bad kids. And there're a lot of them. Also, when it comes to the cold temperatures he discusses, they would be offset by the massive atmospheric friction. John Malkovich even knows that.
 
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