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(News.com.au)   The latest beauty treatment which might possibly be bullshiat: human placenta   (news.com.au) divider line 52
    More: Weird, facials, North West England, Kris Kringle, Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez, physiology, Dubai, Simon Cowell  
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2897 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2009 at 12:05 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-26 10:52:20 PM  
Where do you think the collagen in you mom's ass cream comes from subby?
 
2009-12-27 12:06:43 AM  
waiting for the Cyanide and Happiness comic
 
2009-12-27 12:09:14 AM  
I prefer Bathory's method
i295.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-27 12:11:48 AM  
It's chock full of stem cells, isn't it? Some mothers have their placental blood frozen so it can be used therapeutically later if necessary.
 
2009-12-27 12:13:12 AM  
So Marylin Manson finally got into the cosmetics industry?

Sellout.
 
2009-12-27 12:13:40 AM  
Hehe... there's this little conditioner packet that you put in your hair thats supposed to fix all the damage from hair dyes or excessive styling etc.
You can find it on the shelves at Walgreens.
Anyways... i used to walk up to people and put the unopened packet in their hands and tell them its made from real animal placenta's.
So far only one person has dropped the packet. : )
 
2009-12-27 12:15:09 AM  
It worked for Hubert Farnsworth.
 
2009-12-27 12:17:14 AM  
Latest? Placental treatment has been around for decades IIRC.
 
2009-12-27 12:19:40 AM  
art.penny-arcade.com

/oblig

/hotlinked
 
2009-12-27 12:27:36 AM  
"...And so it came to pass that the Countess, who once bathed in the rejuvenating blood of a hundred virgins, was buried alive...And her castle in which so many cruel deeds took place fell rapidly into ruin. Rising over the buried dungeons in that god-forsaken wilderness, a solitary tower, like some monument to Evil, is all that remains.

The Countess' fortune was believed to be divided among the clergy, although some say that more remains unfound, still buried alongside the rotting skulls that bear mute witness to the inhumanity of the human creature."
 
2009-12-27 12:31:49 AM  
i love me some deep fried placenta. mmmm mmmmm good eats.
www.iphonematters.com
/hot like freshly grilled afterbirth
 
2009-12-27 12:32:56 AM  
I would imagine that the placenta from your own birth would have some pretty awesome stem cell goodness. I'd be thrilled to have them shot into my aging body parts.
 
2009-12-27 12:33:44 AM  
farkingismybusiness: I prefer Bathory's method

What is that pic from?
 
2009-12-27 12:34:43 AM  
Do ladies still find Tom Cruise handsome?
 
2009-12-27 12:37:02 AM  
Momma cats eat their placentas when they give birth.
 
2009-12-27 12:42:52 AM  
skwerl: Momma cats eat their placentas when they give birth.

Full of protein.
 
2009-12-27 12:52:06 AM  
I don't know about placentas but there's been studies that semen makes an excellent skin creme, ladies.
 
2009-12-27 12:54:27 AM  
Just as long as you realize that at the time of birth, the placenta is, literally, a sack of shiat. You do realize that, right?
 
2009-12-27 12:58:31 AM  
trapped-in-CH: I don't know about placentas but there's been studies that semen makes an excellent skin creme, ladies.

performing oral sex also reduces a woman's risk of developing breast cancer.
 
2009-12-27 01:02:54 AM  
Dude, if you've never snorted freeze-dried baby placenta flakes, you're probably a effin' feg anyway.
 
2009-12-27 01:18:31 AM  
Yup. Bullshiat. No "might possibly" about it. Placenta can be used for many things... beauty is most definitely not one of them. Punishment, maybe (pops). But not beauty.
 
2009-12-27 01:19:17 AM  
No thank you.
 
2009-12-27 01:21:57 AM  
Put it on your face? Why that's madness. You're supposed to eat it.

i260.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-27 01:23:15 AM  
flamingboard: trapped-in-CH: I don't know about placentas but there's been studies that semen makes an excellent skin creme, ladies.

performing oral sex also reduces a woman's risk of developing breast cancer.


I offer them coupons.
 
2009-12-27 01:32:10 AM  
In the 80s I remember the "rumor" that placenta was used in hair conditioner, lotion, etc. beauty products. It was never discussed who's or what's placenta. It was just thought to be the best stuff ever. This makes me think of the "old news is so exciting" guy.
 
2009-12-27 01:52:18 AM  
searching for 'human placenta shampoo' reveals this:

http://www.openrussia.ru/catalogitems/6344/Cosmetics-From-Human-Placenta.htm

But my mom has used placenta based shampoo for years. Old news is old?
 
2009-12-27 01:53:13 AM  
Came here for cold placenta sandwiches the next day, leaving satisfied.
 
2009-12-27 02:02:47 AM  
"Independant Farkers" favorite beauty treatment:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-12-27 02:08:47 AM  
It would be good if the placenta could help Manhattan Jewish women, and Democrat speakers of the house, to look younger by rubbing the placenta into their skin cells, because they've become so reliant on rubbing aborted negro babies into their faces. I watched it once, it haunts me.
 
2009-12-27 02:14:39 AM  
Noam Chimpsky: It would be good if the placenta could help Manhattan Jewish women, and Democrat speakers of the house, to look younger by rubbing the placenta into their skin cells, because they've become so reliant on rubbing aborted negro babies into their faces. I watched it once, it haunts me.

I usually just flush all the "negro babies" I push out...
 
2009-12-27 02:19:22 AM  
okami36: Noam Chimpsky: It would be good if the placenta could help Manhattan Jewish women, and Democrat speakers of the house, to look younger by rubbing the placenta into their skin cells, because they've become so reliant on rubbing aborted negro babies into their faces. I watched it once, it haunts me.

I usually just flush all the "negro babies" I push out...


What a waste. Pelosi, Feinstein and Boxer have absorbed hundreds of aborted negro babies made into a paste and rubbed into their face skin. Why let those fresh cells go to waste?
 
2009-12-27 02:22:13 AM  
Do the new mothers delivering babies in hospitals actually sell their placentas for commercial use? My guess is no, and that doctors sell the stuff to tissue banks without the parents' knowledge. There's money to be made, right?

I've heard it before. This is actually an ethical dilemma, but I'm not sure who would care enough to do something about it.

Rubbing cosmetics made with placenta into your face would be just as useless as rubbing cosmetics made with foreskins into your face. And don't even get me started on that one.
 
2009-12-27 02:34:27 AM  
cyberspacedout: Rubbing cosmetics made with placenta into your face would be just as useless as rubbing cosmetics made with foreskins into your face. And don't even get me started on that one.

Um, about those foreskins? Barney Franks eats them sauteed with some garlic and mushrooms. He gets them all. He throws huge parties where he invites the Cooper Andersons and Keith Olbermanns to chow down because Cooper can't eat all of them.
 
2009-12-27 03:48:49 AM  
Philbb: farkingismybusiness: I prefer Bathory's method

What is that pic from?


Cradle of Filth's Masterpiece.
Cruelty and the Beast.
 
2009-12-27 04:05:28 AM  
Beats the stuff I used to see on the shelves in the late 90's and early 00's that contained cow placentas.

Here's one female who refuses to put anything on my face except soap and water. I just refuse to buy into the beauty myth that it can be bought in an (expensive) bottle or jar.
 
2009-12-27 04:39:22 AM  
 
2009-12-27 04:45:21 AM  
Shazzoir: Beats the stuff I used to see on the shelves in the late 90's and early 00's that contained cow placentas.

Here's one female who refuses to put anything on my face except soap and water. I just refuse to buy into the beauty myth that it can be bought in an (expensive) bottle or jar.


Good for you. This woman I know spends more than her monthly rent on beauty products for her skin that don't work, will never work because she was a sun junkie. Can't reverse that kind of damage with no damn placentas. But it makes her happy thinking her sun damaged skin is improving.

A friend of the family, a sweet Jewish lady in her late 70's, who never had any cosmetic surgery, and she has skin like a young woman. She says her secret is she never has put anything on her face but cream and always avoided the sun. I thought that odd until someone explained to me she meant cold cream, not dairy cream.
 
2009-12-27 06:17:10 AM  
images3.makefive.com

...is intrigued by this idea and gets a job at a local hospital to find out more.

/linkedhot
 
2009-12-27 06:51:08 AM  
I bet Tom Cruise is a little pissed he didn't rub his baby's placenta all over his face before chowing down. Probably save him on skincare. I bet you anything that guy goes through a daily anti-aging regimen.
 
2009-12-27 07:47:46 AM  
theinfosphere.org
Poppycock!
 
2009-12-27 08:19:19 AM  
Seen a few in real life. There's no way that alien lifeform makes anyone look better.
 
2009-12-27 08:22:45 AM  
The price of soup in China just went down.
 
2009-12-27 10:32:46 AM  
GIS placenta leads to regret
 
2009-12-27 11:27:43 AM  
flamingboard: trapped-in-CH: I don't know about placentas but there's been studies that semen makes an excellent skin creme, ladies.

performing oral sex also reduces a woman's risk of developing breast cancer.


And helps cure depression.

/it's for your own good, ma'am
 
2009-12-27 12:13:49 PM  
An afterbirth -thought: reading a thread about placenta while having a stomach flu is probably not a good idea.

/*ulp!*
 
2009-12-27 01:52:30 PM  
Nick Nostril: Seen a few in real life. There's no way that alien lifeform makes anyone look better.


No kidding, just look at how ugly newborn babies are.
 
2009-12-27 04:53:05 PM  
This is the reason I stopped using Pantene in my hair years ago.. definately nothing new here subby.
 
2009-12-27 05:28:03 PM  
skwerl: Momma cats eat their placentas when they give birth.

That's most animals, actually, even ones that are normally herbivores.

/had a guinea pig that had babies
 
2009-12-27 08:04:17 PM  
I hear it's tasty.
 
2009-12-27 10:59:21 PM  
Cool Story Time:

When my son was born, I didn't really want to see it actually happen. Yes, I was there, holding my wife's hand, while standing behind the head of her bed. Some people like to videotape the proceedings from the other end, but that's not for me. The staff even offered to let me cut the umbilical cord but I passed.

A few minutes later my son was in the bassinet, getting cleaned up. I went over and the staff encouraged me to talk to and touch him. I did so and Thom grabbed my thumb! It was an amazing experience, his tiny little hand just able to make it around. I looked over my shoulder to tell my wife, "Honey he just-"
*SQPLHLURT*

OMFG WHY THE HELL IS A PUREED PIZZA COMING OUT OF MY WIFE?!

Yes, eventually I was able to resume relations with her afterwards.


/I, too, had a momma cat and watched it give birth to three kittens
//and chow down afterward
///under our bed
 
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