Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   Turtle farts raise an alarming stink   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 58
    More: Strange, green turtles, brussel sprouts, Brussels, Indian Oceans Photo, Norfolk, Mediterranean  
•       •       •

8192 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2009 at 8:36 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-12-26 01:48:30 PM  
And now we know why Jamie-Lynn Sigler left him.

/hi-yoooooo!
 
2009-12-26 01:53:40 PM  
Well, that's one more thing the internet has taught me that I really didn't need to know.

/I guess I am nothing if not well-rounded.
 
2009-12-26 01:57:59 PM  
PainInTheASP: Well, that's one more thing the internet has taught me that I really didn't need to know.

/I guess I am nothing if not well-rounded.


And here's something else you didn't need to know.
Unlike some Farkers who talk out their ass, some turtles can breathe through their asses
 
2009-12-26 02:18:15 PM  
Turtle farts contribute to global warming.

The only answer is to tax turtle owners or force them to buy carbon credits from Al Gore's House of Carbon Offsets.
 
2009-12-26 04:28:08 PM  
I smelt a turtle.
 
2009-12-26 04:53:58 PM  
Godamnlimey: PainInTheASP: Well, that's one more thing the internet has taught me that I really didn't need to know.

/I guess I am nothing if not well-rounded.

And here's something else you didn't need to know.
Unlike some Farkers who talk out their ass, some turtles can breathe through their asses


You know, that would be kinda neat, until you burped. I mean really, who would believe you?
 
2009-12-26 05:25:42 PM  
Didn't this go green last week?
 
2009-12-26 05:48:17 PM  
Anaxphone: Didn't this go green last week?

I think so. It certainly an old enough story.
 
2009-12-26 08:39:56 PM  
img.photobucket.com

"And then she shat on a turtle!"
 
2009-12-26 08:42:19 PM  
And in unrelated news, I just needed to go and hug my beagle, for some reason (new window).
 
2009-12-26 08:42:58 PM  
This story is simply awesome
 
2009-12-26 08:43:23 PM  
"Last year Gunz_drawn triggered overflow alarms in the middle of the night after the splashes from gassy bubbles hit overflow sensors".
 
2009-12-26 08:45:41 PM  
I like turtles
 
2009-12-26 08:46:42 PM  
Turtles..pffft...I have a dachshund that has gas bad enough to curl your hair. Still mommy's baby tho :)
 
2009-12-26 08:47:48 PM  
atthebox.files.wordpress.com

"I smelled a turtle"
 
2009-12-26 08:48:25 PM  
I bet these guys would have really bad gas.

thecia.com.au
 
2009-12-26 08:48:59 PM  
Blow ballast tanks! Dive, dive, dive!

Seriously, wouldn't the sudden expulsion of gas cause a change in the bouyancy of a swimming turtle?
 
2009-12-26 08:51:10 PM  
i.ytimg.com
still likes them...

/obligatory
 
2009-12-26 08:51:24 PM  
www.xmfan.com

I like turtle farts
 
2009-12-26 08:51:59 PM  
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU
 
2009-12-26 08:55:39 PM  
Approves!

thehumanmarvels.com

If you don't know who he is, go here (new window)
 
2009-12-26 09:02:34 PM  
texdent: I bet these guys would have really bad gas.

They did live in a sewer. How would they know?
 
2009-12-26 09:03:56 PM  
www.jumbocandy.com

Turtles give me gas.
 
2009-12-26 09:07:01 PM  
 
2009-12-26 09:17:18 PM  
info.detnews.com

Duck and smother.
 
2009-12-26 09:22:41 PM  
why is it that the tastiest vegetables make you produce copious quantities of methane? i love brussel sprouts but dare not eat them unless im gonna be alone or out fishing(or in the company of several large dogs so i can blame it on them).
 
2009-12-26 09:29:21 PM  
porterm Quote 2009-12-26 09:22:41 PM
why is it that the tastiest vegetables make you produce copious quantities of methane? i love brussel sprouts but dare not eat them unless im gonna be alone or out fishing(or in the company of several large dogs so i can blame it on them).


Pretty much this.
 
2009-12-26 09:40:31 PM  
Just one more reason not to eat brussels spouts. They should all be plowed under.
 
2009-12-26 09:44:03 PM  
Do we need scientists anymore? It almost seems that everything has been figured out and now they're just making sh*t up for the lulz.
 
2009-12-26 09:45:59 PM  
Oops. Just RTFA.
 
2009-12-26 09:51:29 PM  
porterm: why is it that the tastiest vegetables make you produce copious quantities of methane? i love brussel sprouts but dare not eat them unless im gonna be alone or out fishing(or in the company of several large dogs so i can blame it on them).

In the "more you know" category, plants produce odd carbon number length fatty acids in while animals tend to only produce even length chains. Metabolism chops off two carbons at a time so when you burn them up you are left with a single carbon as methane. It's actually your intestinal flora of course but they use mostly the same chemistry as you liver.

\cause you asked
 
2009-12-26 09:54:36 PM  
This will eliminate the problem.

Arnaud's Turtle Soup au Sherry

1/4 cup salt
3/4 cup fresh or frozen turtle meat
3/4 cup ground veal shank meat
6 cups veal stock
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 bay leaves
1 pinch whole dried thyme
3 tablespoons tomato pureé
1/2 cup celery, chopped
1 cup green onions, chopped
1/2 cup white onions, chopped
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
2 lemons, halved
3 tablespoons sherry
2 eggs, hard-boiled and chopped
2 tablespoons roux
Salt and white pepper to taste
Combine eight quarts of water and half the salt in each of two large pots and bring to a boil over high heat. Place the turtle meat in one, the veal in the other, and simmer both for 45 minutes. Remove both pots from heat, drain the meat, and chop both meats coarsely in a food processor. Keep warm until needed.
Place the veal stock, garlic, bay leaves, and thyme in a large pot and bring to a boil over high heat. Add the tomato pureé, vegetables, parsley and lemons, and bring back to a boil. Reduce the heat, and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add the two kinds of meat and the sherry. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the eggs, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Thicken by adding small amounts of the roux.

Add a final splash of sherry to each individual bowl when serving, if desired.

Serves six.
 
2009-12-26 09:54:50 PM  
Farting turtles sound really cute. Especially if it makes lots of bubbles.
 
2009-12-26 09:55:11 PM  
Tyranicle: Oops. Just RTFA.

No, your point is valid. Do we need to know that Brussels sprouts cause turtle farts? I mean, it's good that that is known; but does the public at large need that kind of knowledge? Are we better humans for knowing turtles fart for the same reasons as humans? Not everything that is known needs to be disseminated.
 
2009-12-26 09:58:31 PM  
www.sepiamutiny.com

/couldn't resist
 
2009-12-26 10:02:03 PM  
sprawl15: /couldn't resist

Came for this.
 
2009-12-26 10:03:46 PM  
numbone: This will eliminate the problem.

Arnaud's Turtle Soup au Sherry

[...]

Serves six.


thanks for the flashback:

BEAUTIFUL Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
 
2009-12-26 10:11:45 PM  
No wonder my turtle's water always has a twang.

/her name is Murray.
//after the lawnmower she was scraped by.
/ / /turtle slashies!!
 
2009-12-26 10:16:49 PM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2009-12-26 10:25:40 PM  
wademh: porterm: why is it that the tastiest vegetables make you produce copious quantities of methane? i love brussel sprouts but dare not eat them unless im gonna be alone or out fishing(or in the company of several large dogs so i can blame it on them).

In the "more you know" category, plants produce odd carbon number length fatty acids in while animals tend to only produce even length chains. Metabolism chops off two carbons at a time so when you burn them up you are left with a single carbon as methane. It's actually your intestinal flora of course but they use mostly the same chemistry as you liver.

\cause you asked


dint help stinky can you put that in english?
 
2009-12-26 10:34:49 PM  
aquariist.

/new favorite word for a while
 
2009-12-26 10:41:22 PM  
img189.imageshack.us

"Let the damn turtles enjoy they jacuzzi"
 
2009-12-26 11:23:21 PM  
as a farter, I'm getting a kick out of this thread.
 
2009-12-26 11:32:41 PM  
We all know that if someone asks, "Are you a turtle?" you must answer, "You bet your sweet ass."

Now we know why.
 
2009-12-26 11:36:37 PM  
I just ripped one in honor of old Tooter.


/Wife might leave the room.
 
2009-12-26 11:57:23 PM  
porterm: wademh: porterm: why is it that the tastiest vegetables make you produce copious quantities of methane? i love brussel sprouts but dare not eat them unless im gonna be alone or out fishing(or in the company of several large dogs so i can blame it on them).

In the "more you know" category, plants produce odd carbon number length fatty acids in while animals tend to only produce even length chains. Metabolism chops off two carbons at a time so when you burn them up you are left with a single carbon as methane. It's actually your intestinal flora of course but they use mostly the same chemistry as you liver.

\cause you asked

dint help stinky can you put that in english?


The English is all there. Math and chemistry may be your problem.
 
2009-12-27 12:03:11 AM  
/ to the tune of O'Tannenbaum

Turtle fart
O' Turtle fart
your bubbles trip my sensor.
 
2009-12-27 01:17:17 AM  
dj_blueshift: aquariist.

/new favorite word for a while


Just don't date one while they're a minor, else you'll have to concern yourself with the age of aquariist.
 
2009-12-27 01:21:33 AM  
uncletogie
dj_blueshift: aquariist.

/new favorite word for a while

Just don't date one while they're a minor, else you'll have to concern yourself with the age of aquariist.


That never even dawned on me...
 
2009-12-27 01:26:37 AM  
Claude Ballse: uncletogie
dj_blueshift: aquariist.

/new favorite word for a while

Just don't date one while they're a minor, else you'll have to concern yourself with the age of aquariist.

That never even dawned on me...


It's to be understood. The moon isn't yet in the Seventh House, nor has Jupiter aligned with Mars...

/wouldn't mind the love/peace right now...
//...for the world, silly. My wife's all I need.
 
Displayed 50 of 58 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report