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(Sky News / Record Online)   Pope decides to hold Christmas midnight mass at 10pm, leaving him more time for blackjack and hookers   (recordonline.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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2443 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2009 at 10:57 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-12-24 10:21:32 AM  
Between 10 and 12, he will be sh*tting in the woods.
 
2009-12-24 10:26:29 AM  
The early bird special of religious observances.
 
2009-12-24 10:58:51 AM  
How progressive of him.
 
2009-12-24 10:59:30 AM  
He's going to do blow off of a nun's ass, obviously.
 
2009-12-24 10:59:58 AM  
I get the feeling we'll be seeing more white smoke over Rome in 2010.
 
2009-12-24 11:00:03 AM  
The date is arbitrary, so why not the time?
 
2009-12-24 11:00:53 AM  
needs to set out a cavalcade of cookies and milk for Santa
 
2009-12-24 11:01:07 AM  
Blackjack? I thought Bingo was the big money maker with those Vatican types?
 
2009-12-24 11:01:38 AM  
Came for Bender references, leaving disappointed.
 
2009-12-24 11:02:45 AM  

forkandspoon2008: Came for Bender references, leaving disappointed.


Ahh, screw the whole thing.
 
2009-12-24 11:03:07 AM  
Hack.

I guess midnight mass was cutting into his beatification time for nazi collaborators.

/I hate these guys
//nazis
///catholics too
 
2009-12-24 11:03:46 AM  
Subby, you might want to clarify, male hookers he is Catholic.
 
2009-12-24 11:03:54 AM  

thefloyd: He's going to do blow off of a nun's altar boy's ass, obviously.



fixed
 
2009-12-24 11:04:06 AM  

OlafTheBent: Between 10 and 12, he will be sh*tting in the woods.


If a Pope shiats in the woods, and no bishops are there to smell it, does he have to wipe his own ass?
 
2009-12-24 11:06:24 AM  
I blame Bud Selig.

/Opening Day starts in Cincinnati, dammit
 
2009-12-24 11:07:25 AM  
Wait so if Jesus is also his dad, does that mean he's the most legendary motherfarker of all time?
Hopefully this will be covered in tonight's address.
 
2009-12-24 11:07:48 AM  

gshepnyc: I get the feeling we'll be seeing more white smoke over Rome in 2010.


I doubt it. He's in pretty good health
 
2009-12-24 11:08:27 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: /Opening Day starts in Cincinnati, dammit


A big red THIS to that.
 
2009-12-24 11:08:35 AM  
cnews.canoe.ca
 
2009-12-24 11:08:42 AM  
because nothing good happens after midnight as they say; even mass.
 
2009-12-24 11:11:01 AM  

razorwind.org



Everything that has transpired has done so according to his design. The Christmas mass congregation, over there at the Vatican, are walking into a trap, as is your Catholic Church. It was he who allowed the Church to know the time & location of the Midnight Mass. It is quite safe from your pitiful little choir. An entire legion of his best cardinals awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid Christmas will be quite over when your friends arrive.
 
2009-12-24 11:11:04 AM  

Listerine: gshepnyc: I get the feeling we'll be seeing more white smoke over Rome in 2010.

I doubt it. He's in pretty good health


Other than the strokes. The one they admit and the one(s) everyone suspects but they don't admit. Even when he was practically dust in little red shoes the previous pope wasn't frail enough to need midnight mass 2 hours earlier.
 
2009-12-24 11:15:02 AM  
He is also busy hiding the fact that Saint Peter was a rabbit.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2009-12-24 11:16:00 AM  
He's the pope, he declares 10:00 pm to be midnight and the planet's rotation changes accordingly. You know, with being officially infallible and so forth.
 
2009-12-24 11:18:25 AM  
Well, it'll be midnight somewhere in the world.
 
2009-12-24 11:21:17 AM  
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
 
2009-12-24 11:23:02 AM  
Hey he has to go to bed early he's not a youth anymore. get it? youth? HITLER YOUTH? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
thanks I'll be here all day. try the fish.
 
2009-12-24 11:23:49 AM  

forkandspoon2008: Came for Bender references, leaving disappointed.


Sounds like he's going to open his own theme park
 
2009-12-24 11:23:52 AM  
It's a trick to test their faith. If they show up at 10 he condemns their immortal souls and then tells them there will be a special collection at the midnight mass...
 
2009-12-24 11:27:20 AM  

StrikitRich: Blackjack? I thought Bingo was the big money maker with those Vatican types?


you're thinking of Indians. (Feather not dot)
 
2009-12-24 11:30:29 AM  
It's midnight somewhere.
 
2009-12-24 11:31:35 AM  

OlafTheBent: Between 10 and 12, he will be sh*tting in the woods.


THIS!
 
2009-12-24 11:41:08 AM  

schattenteufel: Everything that has transpired has done so according to his design. The Christmas mass congregation, over there at the Vatican, are walking into a trap, as is your Catholic Church. It was he who allowed the Church to know the time & location of the Midnight Mass. It is quite safe from your pitiful little choir. An entire legion of his best cardinals awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid Christmas will be quite over when your friends arrive.


The picture is great, the caption even better.

/golfclap
 
2009-12-24 11:49:09 AM  

Epicedion: It's midnight4:20 somewhere.



FTFY.

Oh, shiat, this isn't the pot thread...
 
2009-12-24 11:54:52 AM  
Slacker
 
2009-12-24 11:57:17 AM  

schattenteufel: Everything that has transpired has done so according to his design. The Christmas mass congregation, over there at the Vatican, are walking into a trap, as is your Catholic Church. It was he who allowed the Church to know the time & location of the Midnight Mass. It is quite safe from your pitiful little choir. An entire legion of his best cardinals awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid Christmas will be quite over when your friends arrive.


I LOL'ed. Nice.
 
2009-12-24 12:07:39 PM  

theedger.org



She commands it - so shall it be written
in the Holy Document of Vatican Law!
 
2009-12-24 12:10:22 PM  

OlafTheBent: Between 10 and 12, he will be sh*tting in the woods.


i577.photobucket.com

/approves
 
2009-12-24 12:18:15 PM  
Hardly. He just has to conduct the real mass that night.....

img683.imageshack.us
 
2009-12-24 12:18:30 PM  
With having John Paul II around for so long as the Pope, I had almost forgot that before him the church usually went through popes like water.

So, let the Papal countdown begin! I've got a tenner that we are going to need a new pope within the next two years.
 
2009-12-24 12:22:06 PM  
library.thinkquest.org


mwahahahaha?
 
2009-12-24 12:23:20 PM  

gshepnyc: Listerine: gshepnyc: I get the feeling we'll be seeing more white smoke over Rome in 2010.

I doubt it. He's in pretty good health

Other than the strokes. The one they admit and the one(s) everyone suspects but they don't admit. Even when he was practically dust in little red shoes the previous pope wasn't frail enough to need midnight mass 2 hours earlier.


are you serious? look at how fluidly he speaks in this vid, only a year old: Link (new window)

I don't speak german but it's pretty obvious that he is cognizant and quick. John Paul wasn't in that good of health since the 1980s
 
2009-12-24 12:24:01 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: The date is arbitrary, so why not the time?


See, I don't understand this myself. In many many threads, I've seen FARKers tell me that Christmas isn't a religious holiday, it's not even a Christian holiday, it's this wonderful homosapiens holiday celebrated by the whole world except for the most crankiest of atheists and Jews.

And yet, the Pope celebrates it, usually at midnight, in a mass, and so do many of the people I know, so it ends up just leaving me all confused.
 
2009-12-24 12:26:11 PM  

OlafTheBent: Between 10 and 12, he will be sh*tting in the woods.


www.stewiesplayground.com

Approves

 
2009-12-24 12:28:40 PM  
Wow! lots of pissed off lapsed cat-lickers in this thread.
 
2009-12-24 12:34:49 PM  
Alright, two vices.
 
2009-12-24 12:34:53 PM  
Has he asked anyone to call him Pope Jacko yet?

/yeah, google it.
 
2009-12-24 12:36:00 PM  

forkandspoon2008: Came for Bender references, leaving disappointed.


this

tvmedia.ign.com
 
2009-12-24 12:37:25 PM  
Well, we do like blackjack and hookers

However, I lost my pointy hat last time.
 
2009-12-24 12:45:46 PM  

RoyBatty: MaudlinMutantMollusk: The date is arbitrary, so why not the time?

See, I don't understand this myself. In many many threads, I've seen FARKers tell me that Christmas isn't a religious holiday, it's not even a Christian holiday, it's this wonderful homosapiens holiday celebrated by the whole world except for the most crankiest of atheists and Jews.

And yet, the Pope celebrates it, usually at midnight, in a mass, and so do many of the people I know, so it ends up just leaving me all confused.


OK, here's the quick and the dirty:

The Church has set aside dates for the celebration (a/k/a "mass" or "feast" if you will) for the myriad saints. Each mass/feast commemorates the life of its respective saint. The dates for some of the masses/feasts were assigned based upon the saint's presumed birth date, others on the date of a particular event, others on the date of his death, and still others were assigned to co-opt a competing pagan celebration. Christmas (Christ mass) was set on 25 December using the last of these methods.

As a religious holiday, no, it is not traditionally significant, ranking up there with Michaelmas and the Feasts of St. Patrick and St. Valentine (i.e. St. Patrick's Day & Valentine's Day). Like St. Patrick's Day in the U.S., Christmas was a roudy drunken holiday for much of its history. During the Protectorate, the puritan theocracy banned Christmas celebration in England.

The pagan traditions of the tree, misseltoe, wreaths, inter alia were long-practiced in by the German peoples, and they spread throughout Christendom almost overnight in the early 1800s because of one man: Albert, Prince Consort to Queen Victoria. He introduced the practice to Britain's royal residences and was immediately emulated throughout the Empire. Despite the lingering anti-British sentiment in the U.S., it was an instant hit here - largely owing to the fact that the 2nd largest ethnic group in the U.S. was German.
 
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