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(BBC)   Good news: Researchers identify factor that reduces cancer risk. Bad news: It's Alzheimer's. Good news: Researchers identify factor that reduces Alzheimer's risk. Bad news: It's cancer   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 65
    More: Interesting, Alzheimer's Disease, Washington University, cancer, medical schools, cell death, proliferation, enzymes  
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3962 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2009 at 7:23 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-23 11:58:02 PM
blog.aclarke.eu
 
2009-12-24 12:09:10 AM
Isn't this essentially what the Mayo Clinic told Mr Burns?
 
2009-12-24 12:14:42 AM
nciiuuuuuuuuuuuutuandkf akjsid einnnnnmmsd dfidsssssssloooobbbbbberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr viiisiiiittng grannnnnndchiilddddreeeeen whileaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa driiiiiiiiiiveeeee innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn fassssssssst llllnanannnenenwiwjej
 
2009-12-24 12:27:29 AM
I like it blissful.
/I don't pay any bills
 
2009-12-24 12:42:09 AM
Without reading the article is makes a bit of sense. You live old enough to get Alzheimer's and you probably didn't get cancer. You get cancer and you probably died before Alzheimer's set in.
 
2009-12-24 12:51:14 AM
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
 
2009-12-24 01:05:23 AM
So what you're saying is, with the right balance I'd be indestructible?

globalnerdy.com
 
2009-12-24 01:09:17 AM
Hm, cancer or alzheimer's. sounds like a good trade-off to me!
 
2009-12-24 01:21:37 AM
If we turn you into a Newt, you'll live forever. You'll be a Newt, but you'll live forever!
 
2009-12-24 01:33:02 AM
Good news: smoking prevents Alzheimer's
Bad news: smoke causes cancer

The 1990's called, they want their news back.
 
2009-12-24 02:04:46 AM
But what about the Frogurt?
 
2009-12-24 02:06:10 AM
I might have cancer but at least I don't have cancer?
 
2009-12-24 07:26:02 AM
Bummer, I was planning to submit this story with a nearly identically-worded headline. Subby, get out of my head.
 
2009-12-24 07:31:37 AM
Catch 92?
 
2009-12-24 07:35:12 AM
Still no cure for.... wait, what was I talking about?
 
2009-12-24 07:37:19 AM
So basically you're safe if you have both cancer and Alzheimer's.
 
2009-12-24 07:41:45 AM
Soon-to-be-released Study: "Having HIV/AIDS drastically reduces risk of developing Alzheimer's, macular degeneration, and broken hips"
 
2009-12-24 07:42:44 AM
Whoa, this could be really big.
 
2009-12-24 07:45:12 AM
also: "The researchers stressed that more work was needed before any firm conclusions could be drawn, and said the findings only seemed fully to apply to white people. "

[thats_racist.jpg]
 
2009-12-24 07:47:11 AM
It's almost like your body is trying to kill you after you get to a certain age. Cells either start mutating or you get neurological collapse. Either way you're gonna die.

/It's like shock but for oldness
//IANAD
 
2009-12-24 07:47:56 AM
davidphogan: Good news: smoking prevents Alzheimer's
Bad news: smoke causes cancer

The 1990's called, they want their news back.


okay, so just wait for the Alzheimer's to kick in and then start smoking like crazy and you will be Highlander.

/difficulty: remember to smoke
 
2009-12-24 07:50:23 AM
jbuist: Came here to say just that. The only thing I have left to add is that it's called selection bias when eggheads are talking about it.
 
2009-12-24 08:01:41 AM
Anodos: also: "The researchers stressed that more work was needed before any firm conclusions could be drawn, and said the findings only seemed fully to apply to white people. "

[thats_racist.jpggif]



Derp durp.
 
2009-12-24 08:04:32 AM
Anodos: Soon-to-be-released Study: "Having HIV/AIDS drastically reduces risk of developing Alzheimer's, macular degeneration, and broken hips"

Getting hit by a bus and dying greatly reduces the risk of cancer.
 
2009-12-24 08:11:19 AM
Can I get some better choices?
 
2009-12-24 08:16:32 AM
The discovery was made by Dr Alanis Morisette.
 
2009-12-24 08:22:30 AM
I call this the "You Have to Die From Something, Dumbass" hypothesis.
 
2009-12-24 08:22:33 AM
Well, at least I don't have Alzheimer's. Or cancer. Or Alzheimer's. Hey, when did I get that oozing sore?
 
2009-12-24 08:30:32 AM
Isn't this a repeat?
 
2009-12-24 08:30:39 AM
I think this means that if you have cancer, you'll go bald from the radiation treatment. Lex Luther is bald, and technically so is Braniac (exposed brains tending to not grow hair and all). So if you're bald, you're going to be really smart. Which means you couldn't have Alzheimers.

Conversly, if you have Alzheimers, you'll forget you had cancer.
 
2009-12-24 08:31:26 AM
well if that isnt the catch 22 from hell
 
2009-12-24 08:34:12 AM
MissFeasance: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

skinink: The discovery was made by Dr Alanis Morisette.

crazyeddie: I call this the "You Have to Die From Something, Dumbass" hypothesis.

Win, win, win.


So you're damned if you do (cancer), and you're damned fish market walk purple (my bologna).
 
2009-12-24 08:34:17 AM
testaclese: But what about the Frogurt?

The toppings contain potassium benzoate.

/That's bad.
 
2009-12-24 08:39:48 AM
I fake Alzheimer's to fool my cancer.

Coming up on my 20th anniversary
 
2009-12-24 08:41:02 AM
The bad news is you have cancer. The good news is you have HIV! And the cure for HIV is Heart Disease! And the cure for Heart Disease is exercise, which means that we're all doomed.

A:"Sir, I've got bad news. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's."
B: "Well at least I don't have cancer!"
 
2009-12-24 08:43:12 AM
did Dr. Romero run this study?
"if you die young you won't have to worry about getting old"
 
2009-12-24 08:59:41 AM
I'll inform my former boss who has alzheimer's...and lymphoma.
 
2009-12-24 09:12:54 AM
A classic case of damned if you do, and damned if... something I can't recall.
 
2009-12-24 09:14:10 AM
This room: Come for the reduced cancer risk, stay for the... what'd I come in here for?
 
2009-12-24 09:18:13 AM
I remember from years ago, it was also noted that Alzheimer's and Schizophrenia seem to be mutually exclusive. Add to that Schizophrenics has far more naturally occurring nitrous oxides in their blood than normal, and Alzheimer's victims have far less NOx than normal.

After reading that, it made me wonder how many Phish fans are going to get Alzheimer's.
 
2009-12-24 09:24:51 AM
Great joke, Subby. Never heard that one before.
 
2009-12-24 09:33:09 AM
Yea, no cancer.
i777.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-24 09:37:27 AM
Reminds me of this little gem from The Onion:

Link (new window)
 
2009-12-24 09:45:37 AM
I'll take cancer, please.
 
2009-12-24 10:07:30 AM
Well, at least I don't have cancer.
 
2009-12-24 10:17:16 AM
ThreeEdgedSword: I'll take cancer, please.

This.
 
2009-12-24 10:24:27 AM
Hey! You got cancer in my Alzheimer's!
 
2009-12-24 10:24:45 AM
DOCTOR: I've got bad news for you. You have cancer. You also have alzheimers.
PATIENT: Thank god I don't have cancer!
 
2009-12-24 10:37:07 AM
If your body's cells keep operating eventually get too good at it and convert to cancer.

If they shut down as you get older they - shut down

I'd halfway bet at this point that any vitamin that helps the body's growth at least slightly promotes cancer as well
 
2009-12-24 11:05:17 AM
Hey! You got Cancer in my Alzheimers!
Hey! You got Alzheimers in my Cancer!
 
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