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(Sydney Morning Herald)   You're worried that your 14 year old son might be gay. Do you C) Buy him a hooker?   (smh.com.au) divider line 195
    More: Amusing, prostitution, fathers  
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18398 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2009 at 11:46 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



195 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-23 06:10:59 AM  
In other news, millions of 14-year-old boys start pretending to be gay.
 
2009-12-23 06:49:07 AM  
The father walked in and out of the room to check on his son and told him he wanted to see a used condom as proof that they'd had sex.

He didn't even comment on the performance? What kind of dad doesn't take interest in his son's activities?
 
2009-12-23 06:49:10 AM  
At 14 you still have little things called "ideals". Hookers are for jaded 18-year-olds.
 
2009-12-23 08:23:45 AM  
So now you can rape someone without even being in the room? The prostitute should have turned him down, because she is also guilty of rape. Unless the dad is guilty of two rapes.
 
2009-12-23 09:00:40 AM  
EvilEgg: Unless the dad is guilty of two rapes.

Like rape-rape?
 
2009-12-23 10:42:41 AM  
EvilEgg: So now you can rape someone without even being in the room? The prostitute should have turned him down, because she is also guilty of rape. Unless the dad is guilty of two rapes.

You said rape thrice.
 
2009-12-23 10:53:44 AM  
Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"
 
2009-12-23 11:10:53 AM  
Since the son told mom, I guess the dad ultimately found out the answer to his original assumption.
 
2009-12-23 11:11:06 AM  
Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"


Right because every 14 year old boy dreams of banging a crack adled street whore instead of the hottie sister of his best friend across the street.
Your average hooker is more like Charlize Theron in Monster than Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman
 
2009-12-23 11:13:59 AM  
i189.photobucket.com

approves
 
2009-12-23 11:14:10 AM  
Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"


Well, of course, unless the kids really is gay. There is that possibility.
 
2009-12-23 11:17:51 AM  
How do you *force* a 14 year old boy to have sex?! When I was 14, it was like I ODed on Viagra...
 
2009-12-23 11:19:51 AM  
Talk about performance anxiety!

Anyway, I know for a fact that this approach does not work. Fun, but ultimately ineffective.

/fondly remembers amsterdam in 92
 
2009-12-23 11:48:59 AM  
Toots McGee: Since the son told mom, I guess the dad ultimately found out the answer to his original assumption.

Yep
 
2009-12-23 11:49:15 AM  
Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"


THIS! If only my father cared enough to get me a whore for my 14th birthday.
 
2009-12-23 11:49:37 AM  
NuttierThanEver: Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"

Right because every 14 year old boy dreams of banging a crack adled street whore instead of the hottie sister of his best friend across the street.
Your average hooker is more like Charlize Theron in Monster than Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman


With your father watching and demanding physical evidence afterward just to add to the overall allure .
 
2009-12-23 11:50:21 AM  
Forcing sex on a walking, talking viagra doesn't compute. Even IF the kid is Gay I rather doubt, at 14, he would refuse ANY attention "down there" nod nod, wink wink.
 
2009-12-23 11:50:55 AM  
jbuist: Like rape-rape?

No. Just rape. They do it in Europe all the time.
 
2009-12-23 11:51:34 AM  
Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"


With your pops coming in and out of the room? You must be one of those "the family that lays together stays together" people...
 
2009-12-23 11:52:23 AM  
fireclown: jbuist: Like rape-rape?

No. Just rape. They do it in Europe all the time.


Somebody really likes rape.
 
2009-12-23 11:52:36 AM  
Britney Spear's Speculum: EvilEgg: So now you can rape someone without even being in the room? The prostitute should have turned him down, because she is also guilty of rape. Unless the dad is guilty of two rapes.

You said rape thrice.


Since it comes in 40 pound boxes, you tend to get a surplus
 
2009-12-23 11:53:27 AM  
Britney Spear's Speculum: EvilEgg: So now you can rape someone without even being in the room? The prostitute should have turned him down, because she is also guilty of rape. Unless the dad is guilty of two rapes.

You said rape thrice.


He really, really, REALLY likes rape.

Best.Dad.EVER!
 
2009-12-23 11:54:55 AM  
"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"

So your dad brings this chick in and you are just going to go to town?

msp79.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-23 11:55:39 AM  
At least he didn't turn his son into a whore.
 
2009-12-23 11:56:04 AM  
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2009-12-23 11:56:34 AM  
I saw this movie.
 
2009-12-23 11:57:16 AM  
I hate it when subby goes straight to C with
no A or B choices - Suck!!
 
2009-12-23 11:58:16 AM  
NuttierThanEver: Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"

Right because every 14 year old boy dreams of banging a crack adled street whore instead of the hottie sister of his best friend across the street.
Your average hooker is more like Charlize Theron in Monster than Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman



That's the farking truth. The first time a hooker in Vegas propositioned me, she was a crack whore with missing teeth...it looked like her toungue was in jail.

However.....

IIRC, prostitution is legal in Australia, so I bet the overall quality is better than ours.
 
2009-12-23 11:58:45 AM  
I didn't realize prostitutes were available for purchase. I thought it was just a short term lease.
 
2009-12-23 11:58:49 AM  
Hm, not sure this is really amusing. Teaching the kid that the only pussy he's gonna get is the one that he pays for isn't doing him any favors.
 
2009-12-23 11:59:44 AM  
All I want for Christmas is a crack-whore without her two front teeth!!
 
2009-12-23 12:00:15 PM  
Did he actually buy the hooker? I thought most folks just rent 'em.
 
2009-12-23 12:00:33 PM  
Knucklepopper: Hm, not sure this is really amusing. Teaching the kid that the only pussy he's gonna get is the one that he pays for isn't doing him any favors.

We all pay one way or another.

/obligatory
 
2009-12-23 12:00:52 PM  
Ho, Ho, Ho Merry Christmas son! Use a rubber, they's infection in there.
 
2009-12-23 12:03:03 PM  
lajimi: Forcing sex on a walking, talking viagra doesn't compute. Even IF the kid is Gay I rather doubt, at 14, he would refuse ANY attention "down there" nod nod, wink wink.

So, when you were 14, any gay guy that asked for it got it?
 
2009-12-23 12:03:19 PM  
Knucklepopper: Hm, not sure this is really amusing. Teaching the kid that the only pussy he's gonna get is the one that he pays for isn't doing him any favors.

Or he's showing him that this is one case where renting is cheaper than buying in the long run.
 
2009-12-23 12:03:43 PM  
FTA - "First (he) didn't want to say anything to me. Then he told me his father took him to a motel room and there was a prostitute there," the mother said.

"He wouldn't talk, he just started crying."


This kid will be singing show tunes and wearing belly shirts in no time. Sorry dad but your son's not going to be carrying forth your family name - unless of course he has female reproductive organs in his butt.
 
2009-12-23 12:04:24 PM  
Yeah, I remember that episode of Firefly. "Jaynestown" It was a funny episode.

www.scifiscoop.com

Inara was hot.
 
2009-12-23 12:05:19 PM  
NuttierThanEver: Your average hooker is more like Charlize Theron in Monster than Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman

Right, not what I'd call positive reinforcement
 
2009-12-23 12:05:30 PM  
Did he stick it in her pooper?
 
2009-12-23 12:05:44 PM  
TommyDeuce: Did he actually buy the hooker? I thought most folks just rent 'em.

You stole my comment. I can't imagine buying a hooker. Unless she looked like Julia Roberts 20 years ago. And we went to the clinic to run a spectrum of tests immediately.
 
2009-12-23 12:06:38 PM  
dletter: Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"

Well, of course, unless the kids really is gay. There is that possibility.


It's a 14 year boy, and gay or not 14 year old boys are horny and will fark anything.
 
2009-12-23 12:07:09 PM  
Solid State Vittles: Knucklepopper: Hm, not sure this is really amusing. Teaching the kid that the only pussy he's gonna get is the one that he pays for isn't doing him any favors.

We all pay one way or another.

/obligatory


That's true.
 
2009-12-23 12:08:13 PM  
lajimi: Forcing sex on a walking, talking viagra doesn't compute. Even IF the kid is Gay I rather doubt, at 14, he would refuse ANY attention "down there" nod nod, wink wink.

Say n'more say n'more.

/a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat
 
2009-12-23 12:08:53 PM  
GoodyearPimp: TommyDeuce: Did he actually buy the hooker? I thought most folks just rent 'em.

You stole my comment. I can't imagine buying a hooker. Unless she looked like Julia Roberts 20 years ago. And we went to the clinic to run a spectrum of tests immediately.


That's OK, Nuclear Monk up there beat me by 90 seconds.

/Is renting hookers like renting beer?
//Oh and wrap your willy, broad spectrum antibiotics and Quell.
///Yeah the last one is from a very Ex-girlfriend
 
2009-12-23 12:09:04 PM  
Gonorrhoea, chlamydia, syphilis and herpes: The gifts that keep on giving.
 
2009-12-23 12:10:26 PM  
NuttierThanEver: Kyndig: Right.

"Forced" him to have sex. Sorry, I can't think of any 14-year old boy who wouldn't be thinking "HOLY shiat I have the coolest dad in the world!"

Right because every 14 year old boy dreams of banging a crack adled street whore instead of the hottie sister of his best friend across the street.
Your average hooker is more like Charlize Theron in Monster than Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman


I was thinking that, but then you're just assuming that the 14 year-old boy is actractive himself.

/and that lands you into all sorts of problems...
 
2009-12-23 12:12:12 PM  
GoodyearPimp: TommyDeuce: Did he actually buy the hooker? I thought most folks just rent 'em.

You stole my comment. I can't imagine buying a hooker. Unless she looked like Julia Roberts 20 years ago. And we went to the clinic to run a spectrum of tests immediately.


So, your only issue with buying a hooker is her looks and being clean?
rustbeltradical.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-23 12:14:06 PM  
Anyone else think it's kinda weird wanting to see a used condom?

I can "get" the whole getting your kid a hooker thing... funny "cool story bro" kinda thing.

But want to see your own kids batter as evidence? Why not just interview the prostitute afterwords for confirmation?

/not a father
//pretty sure that most normal ones don't want to see the evidence either.
 
2009-12-23 12:14:50 PM  
i257.photobucket.com

What a $50 whore may look like
 
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