If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NJ.com)   Columnist afraid of his wife writes that most American men wouldn't have as many affairs as Tiger Woods even if they could because "we're too lazy"   (blog.nj.com) divider line 199
    More: Unlikely, American males, Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren, Amway, scientific proof, Associated PressTiger Woods, good news, U.S. Open  
•       •       •

4241 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2009 at 2:38 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



199 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-12-22 10:06:35 PM
Not "lazy," just tired from all the carbs and masturbation.
 
2009-12-22 10:28:42 PM
Well, in a way he's right.

Think of the average American male. Yes, he talks a good game, but between work, his Fantasy Football, or other hobbies, usual family duties, who has the time to go sneaking around with even one extra woman, let along a Baker's Half Dozen of gals, and keep the stories straight, the juggling of schedules, and the rest?

Most guys can't handle even the one extra and NOT screw it up. Even if they try hard.
 
2009-12-22 10:39:19 PM
That's why I'm willing to believe the stories about "sex addiction" and stuff. What person would even want to sneak around to that extent, to say nothing of his horrendous taste?
 
2009-12-22 10:42:20 PM
How ever many different cities I'd touchdown in; that's how many different chicks I would score with. Dumbass had feelings for his flings, which prevented Wilt v2.0.
 
2009-12-22 10:57:48 PM
I can confidently say that I would not have gotten married had I been in Tiger's situation.

Also, my golfing skills probably would've collapsed shortly after I had a few hundred mil because I'd be banging damn near anything with a pulse.
 
2009-12-23 12:26:27 AM
The thing is...if you're talking about one-night stands...they're wrong...but mistresses...probably right.
 
2009-12-23 12:30:01 AM
Kodachrome, baby. Kodachrome.
 
2009-12-23 12:31:54 AM
Seriously though, although aybe the "average American man" might not have as many "bordering on relationship" type affairs as Tiger apparently did but just casual flings?

One night stands?

If he could?

I'd say yeah, probably, he would.

Ask any man in an even halfway successful band. (Keyboardists need not apply.)

And this doesn't even account for the (millions?) of married men out there cruising for anonymous cock on Craigslist and the like . . .

That aside, can it really be considered "cheating" if/when women are literally throwing themselves at you?

It's not like he had to work on them or hit on them.

All he had to do was get hard.

And that's an autonomic response.
 
2009-12-23 01:06:17 AM
The difference is Tiger didn't even have to try to get laid. Most American men don't have the money or fame of Tiger so they have to work hard to get laid. If every American man could walk into any club in any city in the world, point at a woman and fark her in under an hour hell yeah every man would have as many affairs as Tiger. It all comes down to access.

And what messed Tiger up is that he didn't have any plausible denyability. He gave those women his main cell number. That was stupid he should have had a disposable cell for each women, never left any voicemail messages, and whenever possible only communicated by text message. That way unless they had pictures if they wanted to go public there isn't anything beside their word tying him to them.
 
Ral
2009-12-23 02:42:53 AM
Oh_Enough_Already:
That aside, can it really be considered "cheating" if/when women are literally throwing themselves at you?


Is that a serious question?
 
2009-12-23 02:44:00 AM
cryinoutloud: That's why I'm willing to believe the stories about "sex addiction" and stuff. What person would even want to sneak around to that extent

What "person?"

Why, pretty much every MAN would, if they could without too much inconvenience.

As pointed out, for most of us even a single affair would be too complicated and timeconsuming. But when your "job" consists of travelling (without your family) to a different resort town every week and hanging out between rounds of golf - well, then having multiple affairs isn't very much work at all.
 
2009-12-23 02:48:21 AM
I sympathize with Tiger in a way. The fact is, a larger proportion of men admit to cheating than this particular author acknowledges (upwards of 60%, though the link below has more specifics). Women, too.

I'm sure he didn't have to do much skirt chasing to get them to come hither. Maybe I just have a negative view of relationships these days.

"He who cannot resist temptation is not a man.... Whoever yields to temptation debases himself with a debasement from which he can never arise."

Link (new window)
 
2009-12-23 02:48:41 AM
hubiestubert: Well, in a way he's right.

Think of the average American male. Yes, he talks a good game, but between work, his Fantasy Football, or other hobbies, usual family duties, who has the time to go sneaking around with even one extra woman, let along a Baker's Half Dozen of gals, and keep the stories straight, the juggling of schedules, and the rest?

Most guys can't handle even the one extra and NOT screw it up. Even if they try hard.


I blame Fark.

/I think I see what you maybe did there...
 
2009-12-23 02:51:16 AM
Catch-22. You don't get to that stature being lazy. And if you ain't lazy, you go out and fark everything you think you can keep from the media.
 
2009-12-23 02:52:41 AM
"Most American men" don't have women flinging themselves at them in elevators. Most American men--even if they travel around as much as Tiger Woods--would be goddamn lucky if one desperate whore latched onto them at the Best Western and wanted to give them a blow job in trade for $50 and a McDonald's cheeseburger.
 
2009-12-23 02:52:42 AM
Is this another "doing jobs that most Americans won't do" paradigm?

\DRTFA
 
2009-12-23 02:52:49 AM
Women overvalue their snatch so much that if it were a commodity it would become the next financial bubble.
 
2009-12-23 02:54:15 AM
Oh_Enough_Already: Keyboardists need not apply

bigot (replying in humor to what I hope was a joke), I typed this really quickly, from practice on my keyboard.... both the silver, and the white and black

agree with the some of the rest

Oh_Enough_Already: That aside, can it really be considered "cheating" if/when women are literally throwing themselves at you?

if that is a question, not rhetorical
yea

Oh_Enough_Already: that's an autonomic response

which is part of the "promise not to" part of marriage
I dont get to stick mine where she wont let me.... I promised
some begging and flowers can ... adjust that, if you write a nice card
 
2009-12-23 02:56:28 AM
pippi longstocking: Women overvalue their snatch so much that if it were a commodity it would become the next financial bubble.

The market set the value. And I guess the law probably inflated it by about 500%.
 
2009-12-23 02:56:38 AM
Rambino: cryinoutloud: That's why I'm willing to believe the stories about "sex addiction" and stuff. What person would even want to sneak around to that extent

What "person?"

Why, pretty much every MAN would, if they could without too much inconvenience.

As pointed out, for most of us even a single affair would be too complicated and timeconsuming. But when your "job" consists of travelling (without your family) to a different resort town every week and hanging out between rounds of golf - well, then having multiple affairs isn't very much work at all.


Crap. Shenanigans. Whatever you want to call it.

(CSB time) I used to travel in sales, and was doing really well financially at the time. I also weighed 20 pounds less, was in great shape, and being a salesperson, I certainly wasn't shy. Did I have opportunites? Lots. Would it have been inconvenient for me to grab some side tail? Nope. But I loved my wife, and the thought of doing anything to harm her, or separate me from my kids, made it really easy to go back to the hotel room and rub one out.

Just because a man is tempted and the opportunity is there doesn't mean he's going to toss his marriage vows out the window. For what? For a few minutes of pleasure, and who knows how much guilt and fear and self loathing, and running the risk of losing the things that matter most? Nah. Count me out.

For me, flirting a little bit and getting flirted with in retunrn is enough to make me still feel like a stud. Which is really what it's all about anyhow...wanting to feel attractive.
 
2009-12-23 02:56:38 AM
pippi longstocking: Women overvalue their snatch


A product is worth exactly as much as the purchaser is prepared to pay (a wiser man than I wrote that, I just copy typed)
 
2009-12-23 02:56:59 AM
Being deceitful is incredible difficult. Remembering something that is not true is harder than remembering things that really happened, for example. Problem with lying is that you have to remember them.

Ignoring the obvious reasons not to cheat on your spouse (if it's really that bad, get a divorce), it is really is a difficult thing to maintain.
 
2009-12-23 02:57:08 AM
tiger hit a hook. but he's hopin' that it fades.
 
2009-12-23 02:59:13 AM
If your wife keeps your belly full and your balls empty, she won't have a thing to worry about.

That said, regarding the Tiger situation, I keep telling my wife: "But he's really rich, he should be able to have a couple of girls on the side!". She's not quite on board yet but I told her maybe it'll give me inspiration to get rich.

Anyway, looks like I won't be getting fed or laid today.
 
2009-12-23 03:00:00 AM
OwnTheRide: If your wife keeps your belly full and your balls empty, she won't have a thing to worry about.

That said, regarding the Tiger situation, I keep telling my wife: "But he's really rich, he should be able to have a couple of girls on the side!". She's not quite on board yet but I told her maybe it'll give me inspiration to get rich.

Anyway, looks like I won't be getting fed or laid today.


Ya think? LOL
 
2009-12-23 03:02:04 AM
Well lets see, billions of dollars, high profile celebrity, handlers and fixers for those times when the hooker's guts are laid out on the hotel room desk like the Best Western continental breakfast spread...

yeah, I'm just way too lazy.
 
2009-12-23 03:02:42 AM
OwnTheRide: Anyway, looks like I won't be getting fed or laid today

cache.gawker.compraise be, to our lord and saviour (click for a new window)
 
2009-12-23 03:03:49 AM
As an average guy, I wouldn't want to chance ruining a (supposedly) good relationship for a brief cheap fling. However, most average guys do not experience the sheer volume of available pussy that Tiger would deal with during lunch break alone. Still, if I was in a stable relationship with someone I really cared for, I'd pass on the pussy that only wants you for your fame and fortune, because finding that certain 'special' person is much harder for us 'regular' guys. Tiger, on the other hand, can cull from a vast array of available females to an extent that most of us wouldn't experience in several lifetimes. Can any one (including you WOMEN) honestly say you'd do any differently under the same circumstances? I doubt it. In fact I'd bet the ladies would changing guys like used tampons. You're all hypocrites.
 
2009-12-23 03:03:50 AM
media.fukung.net
 
2009-12-23 03:04:37 AM
OwnTheRide: it'll give me inspiration to get rich.

Makes me wonder... when Earl was making his work his ass off when he was 5, did he tell him, "When you hit puberty, you'll understand."
 
2009-12-23 03:05:29 AM
dogologolus: Tiger, on the other hand, can cull from a vast array of available females

He should be looking for a hole in one

(sorry, ... had to)
 
2009-12-23 03:06:06 AM
Santa stopped at 3 Ho's
 
2009-12-23 03:06:53 AM
Merry Christmas to all
Happy Solstice to those like me
 
2009-12-23 03:07:36 AM
Awkward.
 
2009-12-23 03:08:33 AM
hubiestubert: Well, in a way he's right.

Think of the average American male. Yes, he talks a good game, but between work, his Fantasy Football, or other hobbies, usual family duties, who has the time to go sneaking around with even one extra woman, let along a Baker's Half Dozen of gals, and keep the stories straight, the juggling of schedules, and the rest?

Most guys can't handle even the one extra and NOT screw it up. Even if they try hard.



Mr. Ramen said "If given the right options it's not that har...wait, what?"
 
2009-12-23 03:09:42 AM
Handicapped: when Earl was making his work his ass off

casualappearance.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-23 03:09:50 AM
Subby got it right by putting quotation marks around lazy. It's laughable to suggest every male (or female) would do what Tiger did.

Tiger worked hard at lying to his wife. Most people, even if they do cheat/lie, don't consider that a great way to live their married lives.

That hardly speaks at all to the presence or absence of any work ethic.

/so obvious I can't believe I am posting this
//yeah, I know, it's Fark where so many of our evil alteregos play
 
2009-12-23 03:10:56 AM
I'm an American man who is lazy, has a wife, and multiple "girlfriends" so I'm getting a kick etc.

/Swinger
//Tired
///Giggity
 
2009-12-23 03:13:07 AM
Half Witt: Tiger worked hard at lying to his wife

I agree he was lying
but you really think she didnt know, or should not have expected it, or he had to go to a lot of effort ?

My ignorant arrogant guess is that this was pretty easy for him
Some people have an easier job of being lying scumbags than others
life is a shiat sandwich - the more bread you have, the less shiat you have to eat
 
2009-12-23 03:13:44 AM
Slartibartfaster:He should be looking for a hole in one

/good one...if I wasn't shiatface drunk I'd a thought of that
//also, the comment about keyboard players...geetar players are always jealous of competition. And yes, there is competition. Suck it
 
2009-12-23 03:14:04 AM
texastag: I'm an American man who is lazy, has a wife, and multiple "girlfriends" so I'm getting a kick etc.

pics - or it didnt happen
 
2009-12-23 03:14:11 AM
Slartibartfaster: Handicapped: when Earl was making his work his ass off

Nice. Should've seen that one coming.
 
2009-12-23 03:15:57 AM
www.datzhott.com

"A man is only as faithful as his options."
 
2009-12-23 03:17:41 AM
dogologolus: geetar players are always jealous of competition. And yes, there is competition. Suck it

Ill jam next to ya, then pretend I tolerated ya

hehehe

Merry Christmas
Stringer

Q: How do you get 2 electric guitar players to play in perfect unison ?

A: Shoot one of them.
 
2009-12-23 03:19:54 AM
Slartibartfaster: A: Shoot one of them.

Won't that put one of them completely out of tempo?
 
2009-12-23 03:20:51 AM
Slartibartfaster: Half Witt: Tiger worked hard at lying to his wife

I agree he was lying
but you really think she didnt know, or should not have expected it, or he had to go to a lot of effort ?

My ignorant arrogant guess is that this was pretty easy for him
Some people have an easier job of being lying scumbags than others
life is a shiat sandwich - the more bread you have, the less shiat you have to eat


I have no way of knowing, but really, we don't even need to know that.

He was breaking his marriage vows, that is, he also was lying to himself.

As someone wrote above, if things were that bad, and his wife was not 100% cool with changing things up to an "open" marriage, he should have sought a divorce.
 
2009-12-23 03:25:46 AM
Half Witt: If things were that bad, and his wife was not 100% cool with changing things up to an "open" marriage, he should have sought a divorce.

Im not at all in disagreement

Thats kinda why I called him a lying scumbag

My point was that this was probably not hard for him to achieve
and she probably knew (and obviously is offended and disgusted at)
I doubt it was a surprise to her on Thanksgiving day
but if it was, that sorta explains the golf club through the SUV window

Im married, coming up 15 years
If I did that to my wife, I doubt it would be a golf club (my wife is an AWESOME shot with both 12 gauge shot and 6.5 mm)
I MEANT it when I said I do, 15 years later, Im no less sure that she meant it too
 
2009-12-23 03:28:53 AM
Renowned transvestite sexologist: Won't that put one of them completely out of tempo?

tempo is the drummer
geetars are the fluffers (anyone need batteries for their sarcasm meters ? free offer !!!)
 
2009-12-23 03:29:38 AM
Half Witt: Tiger worked hard at lying to his wife.

Working hard means NOT getting caught, and leaving voicemails is, for lack of a better term, a rookie mistake. For somebody with Tiger's resources to be -that- indiscreet is hugely incompetent.
 
2009-12-23 03:31:21 AM
dogologolus: Can any one (including you WOMEN) honestly say you'd do any differently under the same circumstances? I doubt it. In fact I'd bet the ladies would changing guys like used tampons. You're all hypocrites.

No, I think women are more like hermit crabs: They need a man (re: shell) in their lives at all times because they hate being single. But only one man. A woman will not cheat on him, but as soon as a newer, better shell becomes available, she will immediately find ways to end the current relationship so that she can get with the new guy. This usually results in spectacular disaster whereas the boyfriend will be utterly confused because he's done nothing wrong to warrant the breakup, but she'll still convince him it's all his fault anyway.

It's alright for the woman to do this, after all. Her friends will remind her that she's just following her heart.

The guy, meanwhile, will get drunk and complain that all women are biatches.
 
Displayed 50 of 199 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report