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(MSNBC)   News: Man stabbed in chest by knife, Fark: Man goes into a diner and orders coffee with the knife in his chest   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 62
    More: Weird, More4 News, knife, George Mirdita, apartment complex, attackers  
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6751 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2009 at 11:39 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-22 07:11:04 PM
Knives don't stab people; People do.
 
2009-12-22 09:46:44 PM
"To come in with something stuck in your chest and order a cup of coffee, and sit down... he was mingling with the guy next to him."


You see that?

He's the friendliest and most personable stabbing victim ever.

Who says that knife guys finish last?
 
2009-12-22 10:12:22 PM
Asa Phelps: Knives don't stab people; People do.

What about Mack?
 
2009-12-22 10:39:52 PM
the man described his attacker as someone who was tall, was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and had a goatee.

It was Evil Empire™ Spock!
 
2009-12-22 11:21:32 PM
www.batesline.com

Not impressed.

/hotter than Brando in the 1950's
 
2009-12-22 11:40:48 PM
It's getting so you can play Walmart Bingo anywhere.
 
2009-12-22 11:41:11 PM
If he wasn't bleeding on the counter, i don't see the problem.
 
2009-12-22 11:45:09 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:Who says that knife guys finish last?

I want to have you shot for that pun, but I also want to post that pic of the audience clapping.

I think that kind of evens it out.
 
2009-12-22 11:45:35 PM
Cocaine. It's one helluva a drug.
 
2009-12-22 11:46:58 PM
Bray's makes a tasty burger.
 
2009-12-22 11:47:42 PM
"Do you need a fork with that?"
 
2009-12-22 11:47:50 PM
So DeNiro slums it in Detroit?

Alright. I can see that.

api.ning.com
 
2009-12-22 11:47:52 PM
MarshWoman: the man described his attacker as someone who was tall, was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and had a goatee.

It was Evil Empire™ Spock!


Pussy beard...
 
2009-12-22 11:51:16 PM
Good luck with that, I can't even get coffee with cubed sugar.
 
2009-12-22 11:52:59 PM
The Damned: I want to have you shot for that pun, but I also want to post that pic of the audience clapping.

I think that kind of evens it out.


Thank you kindly.

Yes, I realize that any punning about blades is a sworded affair.
 
2009-12-22 11:53:27 PM
You know, for Detroit I'm a surprised at how surprised these people were.
 
2009-12-22 11:54:24 PM
I'm so tired of being stabbed I need a cuppa joe to ouch.

*oils up, flexes*

MANLY MANHAMMER KAPOW!

*So tired. I really just need to be held.
 
2009-12-22 11:54:27 PM
"another man approached him and demanded cash. The man told police that when he refused to hand over any cash, he was attacked and stabbed"

Good thing he refused, how else was he gonna pay for his coffee?
 
2009-12-22 11:54:51 PM
ProdigalSigh: You know, for Detroit I'm a surprised at how surprised these people were.

Sigh.
 
2009-12-22 11:55:26 PM
www.distantcreations.com

//approoves...
 
2009-12-22 11:56:26 PM
HE TOLD YOU HE WAS HARDCORE



/ dayum!
 
2009-12-22 11:57:20 PM
He did order deknifenated though.
 
2009-12-22 11:57:29 PM
ProdigalSigh: ProdigalSigh: You know, for Detroit I'm a surprised at how surprised these people were.

Sigh.


Eh, just pretend you were doing your mafia voice.
 
2009-12-22 11:58:37 PM

"It kind of freaked us all out here. Then, the customers realized it and they were all turning their heads in disgust."


Because turning your head in disgust is easier than offering your hand in helpfulness. Damn those Eight Mile diners are jaded. Didn't at least one diner try to help the guy?

 
2009-12-23 12:00:03 AM
skinink: Didn't at least one diner try to help the guy?

Did you not see my comment about how Bray's makes a tasty burger?
 
2009-12-23 12:01:35 AM
skinink: "It kind of freaked us all out here. Then, the customers realized it and they were all turning their heads in disgust."
Because turning your head in disgust is easier than offering your hand in helpfulness. Damn those Eight Mile diners are jaded. Didn't at least one diner try to help the guy?


Well, if he's sitting there drinking his coffee and chatting with the guy next to him while waiting for the ambulance, I'm not sure there's much to be done, other than paying for his coffee. I sure as hell wouldn't pull it out. A napkin for the blood, perhaps?
 
2009-12-23 12:03:03 AM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: "To come in with something stuck in your chest and order a cup of coffee, and sit down... he was mingling with the guy next to him."


You see that?

He's the friendliest and most personable stabbing victim ever.

Who says that knife guys finish last?


You are, and always will be, my hero.
Get back to the choppa!
 
2009-12-23 12:03:15 AM
When he drank the coffee, did it fountain out of his chest?

/goes back to watch the Cartoon Network.
 
2009-12-23 12:03:22 AM
kinda seemed like the guy didnt need any help.
he must have bought that exerciser that tough guy was selling.
a cuppa joe and im good.
 
2009-12-23 12:06:00 AM
OK, they tell you to take an aspirin when you feel a heart attack coming on. So if you've been knifed in the chest cavity, you should drink ya some joe asap? Renooberates the cardiovastub...the guts?
 
2009-12-23 12:06:26 AM
Dammit. Another good headline submission beaten out by a stale meme with bad grammar. That is two today. Sheesh. :)
 
2009-12-23 12:07:47 AM
FTA: "Police said the man described his attacker as someone who was tall, was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and had a goatee."


Oh yeah, that guy!
 
2009-12-23 12:14:18 AM
mr_larry: You are, and always will be, my hero.

*bows*

Thank you kindly!



Get back to the choppa!

img707.imageshack.us

DAT'Z IT!!!

NO MOAH MISTAH KNIFE GUY!

ARHARHRHBWAHRAHRHRHGHGHEEURUGGHHGHGHARRHGHGHGH!!!!
 
2009-12-23 12:15:51 AM
Jeff73: FTA: "Police said the man described his attacker as someone who was tall, was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and had a goatee."


Oh yeah, that guy!


The sweatshirt hides the ears.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-12-23 12:33:17 AM
It would take a knife to the chest to get me away from getting a triple no whip half caf upside down double cupped mocca extra pump and sugar in the raw at my friendly neighborhood Starbucks (tm).

/ I'm a little bit of a coffee snob
 
2009-12-23 12:42:10 AM
Bray's is that good
really..

//drool
 
2009-12-23 12:50:14 AM
Third for the Bray's. (Of course, the article says Brayz's, so I am a little confused.)
 
2009-12-23 01:01:35 AM
It vas an...insignificant knife.
 
2009-12-23 01:14:43 AM
I'm guessing he had a bit of padding.

/five inches would go half way through me.
//Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
 
2009-12-23 01:15:32 AM
UPDATE: The stabbing victim has I.D. his attacker. The attack happened at Warren and 8 Mile and it was a robbery of sorts. The attacker was identified as Marshall Mathers A.K.A. EMINEM. The victim stated that "EMINEM" approached him., then demanded that he buy his new CD, The victim replied. "Fark You!!! I've heard it. It sucks!!!" In response Mathers stab the victim it the chest with Brittany Murphy's sharpened rib bone and made off with $15.99 plus tax.
 
2009-12-23 01:52:13 AM
steynian.files.wordpress.com

Belonging to the victim.
 
2009-12-23 02:13:46 AM
It's good to see that Teddy Roosevelt's descendants are alive & well.

Note that Warren is adjacent to Detroit, so one measly stab wound wasn't going to slow that guy down too much.

Darwin approves.
 
2009-12-23 02:21:48 AM
That must have been one hell of a tasty coffee for a guy to get stabbed and walk a mile just to get one. Probably just a PR stunt by the restaurant to drum up business.
 
2009-12-23 02:49:34 AM
My evil aunt is an ER doctor, and she told me once of a guy who walked into the ER with a Chef's knife stuck in his face. A walk in. Dude got stabbed in the face. With a chef's knife. A couple orderlies holding him down, my evil aunt managed to wrench the knife out of his face, and the dude got up, snatched the knife back, and stomped out of the ER.

We live in a world where people who get stabbed in the face will visit a hospital just to remove something stuck in their face that they can use to exact a vengeance.
 
2009-12-23 04:01:42 AM
That man must have testicles the size of grapefruits.
 
2009-12-23 04:39:48 AM
I will bet a bucket of fried chicken, a small crack rock, and a Kanye West CD that the "victim" had this coming.
 
2009-12-23 04:40:56 AM
fishrockcarving: My evil aunt is an ER doctor, and she told me once of a guy who walked into the ER with a Chef's knife stuck in his face. A walk in. Dude got stabbed in the face. With a chef's knife. A couple orderlies holding him down, my evil aunt managed to wrench the knife out of his face, and the dude got up, snatched the knife back, and stomped out of the ER.

We live in a world where people who get stabbed in the face will visit a hospital just to remove something stuck in their face that they can use to exact a vengeance.


I sleep safer knowing that. Thanks
 
2009-12-23 05:14:19 AM
Royal: He saved my life, you know. Thirty years ago. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta, and he carried me to the hospital on his back.
Ari: Who stabbed you?
[Royal motions to Pagoda again]
Royal: He did. There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv.
 
2009-12-23 06:58:41 AM
Self-stabbing knives, when will scientists learn?
 
2009-12-23 07:09:20 AM
I just want to know how he used the knife in his chest to order coffee. That seems like a neat trick, even if it probably wouldn't come up too often.
 
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