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(The Sun)   Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year: "The site was named in at least 20 per cent of divorce petitions in America this year"   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 168
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4808 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Dec 2009 at 12:06 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-21 09:14:49 AM
Ruined mine.
 
2009-12-21 09:17:20 AM
Throwing digital sheep at the opposite sex can only lead to divorce.
 
2009-12-21 09:21:26 AM
20%? No effing way.
 
2009-12-21 09:26:11 AM
that's a lot of poking
 
2009-12-21 09:27:48 AM
How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.
 
2009-12-21 09:28:36 AM
20% seems high, but there is no doubt that FB makes cheating easier.

In the past, your ex from HS or college was pretty much gone once you left home. Now you have instant, private communication with them if you so desire. Reality of adulthood is often not the dream folks had in their younger days, and it is pretty damn easy to slide back into more comfortable nostalgic patterns and relationships. People who may not be "the cheating type" (ie hooking up at bars or on business trips) may be far more likely to become emotionally involved again with an old friend or ex via FB. Sure, email and chat rooms have existed forever, but FB is a much easier, more private way of communicating on the sly.

I say this as someone who is happily married, but still communicates with some ex's over FB. Nothing will ever come of it, but I can see how people in unhappy marriages could succumb to the familiarity and pleasant memories of past relationships. We tend to forget why we broke up in the first place over time.
 
2009-12-21 09:29:07 AM
7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

Yeah. If Facebook "ruined your marriage", your marriage probably sucked anyway.
 
2009-12-21 09:33:50 AM
20% is insane. I assume the "naming" of facebook was mostly "My husband has a picture of himself drunk on facebook, so I should have sole custody of the kids"
 
2009-12-21 09:34:39 AM
kronicfeld: 20%? No effing way.

I don't see that as ridiculous. Say 50% end in divorce, and of that 60% should never have happened to begin with/they were too young/too stupid/etc.

I see no reason why 20% of divorce petitions include a social networking site where someone's actions could lead to jealousy or outright cheating.
 
2009-12-21 09:41:28 AM
I Said: I see no reason why 20% of divorce petitions include a social networking site where someone's actions could lead to jealousy or outright cheating.

I do. Of the hundreds of divorce complaints that have come through my office in the few years I've been practicing, I have seen exactly one mention Facebook, and that was a ridiculous ten-page document in which a pro se party rattled off every little disagreement and dispute that she had with her husband.

Most divorce complaints are filed on no-fault grounds. Those that are filed on fault grounds typically don't go into excruciating detail. I find it absolutely unfathomable that a full 20% of divorce complaints mention Facebook.
 
2009-12-21 09:48:18 AM
TFD ruined mine
 
2009-12-21 09:48:35 AM
kronicfeld: Most divorce complaints are filed on no-fault grounds. Those that are filed on fault grounds typically don't go into excruciating detail. I find it absolutely unfathomable that a full 20% of divorce complaints mention Facebook.

Well:

Mr Keenan scanned the Divorce-Online database for the word "Facebook", and found 989 instances of the word in 5,000 petitions.

Ok not much detail there

In the US, divorce lawyers openly admit to searching social networking sites for evidence of infidelity or wrong-doing in a bid to strengthen their case against an errant spouse.


Could this be a reason? Spouse goes to attorney, attorney says "get more info", spouse says "OMG he/she is still friends with an ex on FB"?
 
2009-12-21 09:54:02 AM
kronicfeld: I Said: I see no reason why 20% of divorce petitions include a social networking site where someone's actions could lead to jealousy or outright cheating.

I do. Of the hundreds of divorce complaints that have come through my office in the few years I've been practicing, I have seen exactly one mention Facebook, and that was a ridiculous ten-page document in which a pro se party rattled off every little disagreement and dispute that she had with her husband.

Most divorce complaints are filed on no-fault grounds. Those that are filed on fault grounds typically don't go into excruciating detail. I find it absolutely unfathomable that a full 20% of divorce complaints mention Facebook.


Maybe it's like what Barakku said - they name facebook as a source for why one should get custody of the kids.

Then again, maybe you don't live in the right area? I would put out there (as pure conjecture) that the people citing facebook are young (under 50), and live in an area where the internet is a staple of daily life (a more urban setting). Perhaps you just aren't dealing with the right demographic?
 
2009-12-21 09:55:55 AM
Updates will look like:

Blank is taking his ring back to the jeweler (pawnbroker). Biatch stole my fish!
 
2009-12-21 09:58:09 AM
I Said: Ok not much detail there

WTF is a "divorce online database"? And he searched 5,000 petitions? Five times that number get filed in my county in a year. Methodology = fail.

Talon: Then again, maybe you don't live in the right area? I would put out there (as pure conjecture) that the people citing facebook are young (under 50), and live in an area where the internet is a staple of daily life (a more urban setting). Perhaps you just aren't dealing with the right demographic?

NoVA/DC. Tons of young professionals, yuppies, tech savvy middle-to-upper-income peeps.
 
2009-12-21 10:03:01 AM
I shared this story with some of the people I chat with on Ashley Madison and they think it's absolutely ludicrous to claim that an Internet site could contribute to the breakdown of a marriage.
 
2009-12-21 10:07:18 AM
Facebook? Hell, my ex-wife had nude pics on Suicide Girls and chatted all day with the guys on there.
 
2009-12-21 10:07:54 AM
40below: I shared this story with some of the people I chat with on Ashley Madison and they think it's absolutely ludicrous to claim that an Internet site could contribute to the breakdown of a marriage.

Ashley Madison is a scam. I mean, moreso than the baseline "scam" of sites like eHarmony. I still don't understand why a state's attorney hasn't sought an indictment against them as promoting criminal activity, given that adultery remains on the books in many jurisdictions.
 
2009-12-21 10:08:35 AM
kronicfeld: Talon: Then again, maybe you don't live in the right area? I would put out there (as pure conjecture) that the people citing facebook are young (under 50), and live in an area where the internet is a staple of daily life (a more urban setting). Perhaps you just aren't dealing with the right demographic?

NoVA/DC. Tons of young professionals, yuppies, tech savvy middle-to-upper-income peeps.


Then maybe the article is a sensationalistic piece of crap that wants to start up the next moral panic - zomg social networking is ruining america? ;P
 
2009-12-21 10:11:03 AM
Talon: Then maybe the article is a sensationalistic piece of crap that wants to start up the next moral panic - zomg social networking is ruining america? ;P

No journalist would ever do that. I am disgusted at your defamation of this proud and pure profession.
 
2009-12-21 10:13:37 AM
Talon: kronicfeld: Talon: Then again, maybe you don't live in the right area? I would put out there (as pure conjecture) that the people citing facebook are young (under 50), and live in an area where the internet is a staple of daily life (a more urban setting). Perhaps you just aren't dealing with the right demographic?

NoVA/DC. Tons of young professionals, yuppies, tech savvy middle-to-upper-income peeps.

Then maybe the article is a sensationalistic piece of crap that wants to start up the next moral panic - zomg social networking is ruining america? ;P


It looks like it's meant to promote that guys Divorce-Online site.
 
2009-12-21 10:17:37 AM
Maybe the references are concealed by overt methods like this.
 
2009-12-21 10:22:26 AM
kronicfeld: 20%? No effing way.

I've never mentioned it in a pleading. I have however entered it into evidence in as much as 20% of my hearings lately.
 
2009-12-21 10:22:55 AM
ne2d: Facebook? Hell, my ex-wife had nude pics on Suicide Girls and chatted all day with the guys on there.

Link?
 
2009-12-21 10:24:36 AM
Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year (new window)

Friggin' Farmville.
 
2009-12-21 10:28:38 AM
Bah--my husband & I are on Facebook at least once a day. The only thing he's cheating on is Lexulous.
 
2009-12-21 10:29:23 AM
Mr Keenan scanned the Divorce-Online database for the word "Facebook", and found 989 instances of the word in 5,000 petitions.

Doesn't that imply that it was only found in the entire list that many times, meaning that it could be mentioned say 20 times in one brief and 30 times in another?
 
2009-12-21 10:49:57 AM
alywa: I can see how people in unhappy marriages could succumb to the familiarity and pleasant memories of past relationships. We tend to forget why we broke up in the first place over time.

This. I have an old girlfriend who conveniently enough sent me a friend request when her marriage when to shiat. I'm convinced she was looking up old guys she liked instead of trying to meet new ones. (She ended up marrying another of her old boyfriends.) I did end up 'friending' her because while it didn't work out between us, she was a nice person.
 
2009-12-21 10:53:53 AM
when=went
 
2009-12-21 11:15:31 AM
I've had a couple girls I knew in high school who are now divorced send me flirty messages. But the fact that they're in New Mexico and I'm in Kentucky, coupled with the fact that I'm happy with my wife, has kept that from going anywhere.
 
2009-12-21 11:19:15 AM
7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

I got married at 22, after knocking my girlfriend up. Then we got divorced, it was really nasty. I'm still reeling financially.

Nah, actually, we're still happy as ever, and spent the weekend out playing in the snow with our amazing 5 year old son, and snuggling on the couch with hot cider (and a bottle of some amazing Scott Harvey Zinfandel last night).

She's my best friend, and I love her dearly.
 
2009-12-21 11:21:53 AM
So is it Facebook that's ruining America and causing divorces, or is it no-fault divorce? Because it can't be both.
 
2009-12-21 11:22:15 AM
Earguy: ne2d: Facebook? Hell, my ex-wife had nude pics on Suicide Girls and chatted all day with the guys on there.

Link?


It's a pay site.
 
2009-12-21 11:25:26 AM
xiaodown: 7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

I got married at 22, after knocking my girlfriend up. Then we got divorced, it was really nasty. I'm still reeling financially.

Nah, actually, we're still happy as ever, and spent the weekend out playing in the snow with our amazing 5 year old son, and snuggling on the couch with hot cider (and a bottle of some amazing Scott Harvey Zinfandel last night).

She's my best friend, and I love her dearly.


Also, I connected with a girl who I had sort of a weird thing in High School with, recently on facebook. We both talked about how we wish we'd gotten together at some point in the past, just to see if it would have worked, but that we probably would have killed each other. And we both are happy with our lives now.

Responsible people don't act irresponsibly. Cheaters cheat. I don't see how facebook really factors into it that much. Would I like to hook up with an old high school flame? Not really*, the random series of events that's happened between then and now have made me into the man I am today. Who knows how I would have turned out? I don't live my life to play the "what if" game.

*not unless my wife wanted to join us =P.
 
2009-12-21 11:26:24 AM
cryinoutloud: So is it Facebook that's ruining America and causing divorces, or is it no-fault divorce? Because it can't be both.

Both. It's an unholy alliance aimed at disrupting family values and pushing the homosexual agenda.
 
2009-12-21 11:32:31 AM
alywa
In the past, your ex from HS or college was pretty much gone once you left home. Now you have instant, private communication with them if you so desire. Reality of adulthood is often not the dream folks had in their younger days, and it is pretty damn easy to slide back into more comfortable nostalgic patterns and relationships. People who may not be "the cheating type" (ie hooking up at bars or on business trips) may be far more likely to become emotionally involved again with an old friend or ex via FB. Sure, email and chat rooms have existed forever, but FB is a much easier, more private way of communicating on the sly.


While I have friended many people I knew back in the day, I have been completely unable to get laid via FB contacts. Am I doing it wrong? I'm still single. Maybe I need to get married first.

ne2d: Facebook? Hell, my ex-wife had nude pics on Suicide Girls and chatted all day with the guys on there.

huh. Did you know about it the whole time? Some people seem to be okay with that.

/Also, pics plz.
//obligatory
 
2009-12-21 11:33:40 AM
In other news at least 20% of cheating spouses are so farking stupid that they put that shiat up on their Facebook.
 
2009-12-21 12:10:45 PM
Alternately, failing to use an anonymous alt while participating in a Fark.com BIE thread might produce similar results.
 
2009-12-21 12:12:39 PM
Fark is going to have to up it's game
 
2009-12-21 12:15:55 PM
alywa: I say this as someone who is happily married, but still communicates with some ex's over FB. Nothing will ever come of it, but I can see how people in unhappy marriages could succumb to the familiarity and pleasant memories of past relationships. We tend to forget why we broke up in the first place over time.

Reason and logic have no purpose here...be gone!
 
2009-12-21 12:19:09 PM
Facebook didnt ruin your marriage, your infidelity did. Facebook was just a vector for your stupid. Sloppy is sloppy.
 
2009-12-21 12:20:19 PM
Er no, people being selfish untrustworthy shiatbags is responsible for 90+% of divorces. Facebook merely exposes their crimes.
 
2009-12-21 12:22:00 PM
kronicfeld: Ashley Madison is a scam. I mean, moreso than the baseline "scam" of sites like eHarmony. I still don't understand why a state's attorney hasn't sought an indictment against them as promoting criminal activity, given that adultery remains on the books in many jurisdictions.

I still don't understand why Noel Biderman hasn't been found with a bullet in his head.
 
2009-12-21 12:22:44 PM
Also, my wife has my Facebook password and I have hers. You have to be powerdumb to think that anything on Facebook is that private
 
2009-12-21 12:24:54 PM
ne2d: Earguy: ne2d: Facebook? Hell, my ex-wife had nude pics on Suicide Girls and chatted all day with the guys on there.

Link?

It's a pay site.



...make with the link or GTFO...!
 
2009-12-21 12:25:28 PM
CheddarPants: I've had a couple girls I knew in high school who are now divorced send me flirty messages. But the fact that they're in New Mexico and I'm in Kentucky, coupled with the fact that I'm happy with my wife, has kept that from going anywhere.

There should be some sort of etiquette for exes and old crushes on facebook. I was hot in high school decades ago. Why do they now need to tell me they had a crush on me 20ish years ago? Could've asked me out then, might've said yes. Some handle it well, with a sense of humor, some are kind with a common reminiscence. Others are jerks propositioning me now, dude we are both married, but I am happy; or why didn't you speak to me in high school?! Because you acted like my existence annoyed you and you had the emotional maturity of a 12 yr old. You are married to a good looking woman now, let it go.

/you guys are going to make me put a pic in my profile now aren't you
 
2009-12-21 12:26:17 PM
facebook's just not safe;
i keep getting "herpes request"...i click ignore but it keeps coming back :\
 
2009-12-21 12:26:56 PM
Ball of Confusion: Facebook didnt ruin your marriage, your infidelity did. Facebook was just a vector for archived for prosperity your stupid. Sloppy is sloppy.
 
2009-12-21 12:29:05 PM
7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

Amen brother. I'm 27 and have already watched numerous friends my age go down the same stupid path. Sure a few have actually worked out but I sitll think it's incredibly stupid to get married in your 20's. Hell I'm still learning who I am, how am I supposed to know enough about some broad that I think I want to spend the rest of my life with that person.
 
2009-12-21 12:30:03 PM
GAT_00 [TotalFark] Quote 2009-12-21 10:29:23 AM
Mr Keenan scanned the Divorce-Online database for the word "Facebook", and found 989 instances of the word in 5,000 petitions.

Doesn't that imply that it was only found in the entire list that many times, meaning that it could be mentioned say 20 times in one brief and 30 times in another?


This. The number of mere references WITHOUT CONTEXT and detailed examine makes this whole body of "research" suspect.

But then again, let's just act like it's entirely credible and completely well-founded.
 
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