FARK.com: (4874655) Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year: "The site was named in at least 20 per cent of divorce petitions in America this year"

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year: "The site was named in at least 20 per cent of divorce petitions in America this year" (thesun.co.uk)		168
		More: Interesting

• • •

4804 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Dec 2009 at 12:06 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/4874655

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

168 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

Marshmallow Jones		2009-12-21 12:30:13 PM

spent the weekend out playing in the snow with our amazing 5 year old son, and snuggling on the couch with hot cider (and a bottle of some amazing Scott Harvey Zinfandel last night).
She's my best friend, and I love her dearly.

CS,B

H31N0US		2009-12-21 12:31:01 PM

Facebook doesn't divorce people. People divorce people.

Ambitwistor		2009-12-21 12:31:54 PM

Divorce Lawyer likes this.

WTF Indeed		2009-12-21 12:36:47 PM

Yet another reason some people shouldn't have technology.

/College Facebook 4 Life.

Johnald_Thompson		2009-12-21 12:37:09 PM

As a man with a soon-to-be-ex-wife, whose marriage was ruined by her seaking around on Facebook, staying out til the wee hours of the morning, coming home from work and showering quickly (sometimes not even doing that and stinking of cologne), I am getting a kick out of these replies.

/i'm getting the house
//and a beautiful 10 old month siberian kitten
///happiest slashies ever

Joyfulcheese		2009-12-21 12:43:42 PM

St_Francis_P: 7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

Yeah. If Facebook "ruined your marriage", your marriage probably sucked anyway.

Probably already said, but THIS.

Nina_Hartley's_Ass		2009-12-21 12:44:34 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: Also, my wife has my Facebook password and I have hers. You have to be powerdumb to think that anything on Facebook is that private

Don't do facebook myself but how hard would it be to have two accounts?

/just sayin'...

Feldspar Q. Walrustitty		2009-12-21 12:49:16 PM

And I always thought Facebook wasn't good for anything.

2wolves		2009-12-21 12:50:12 PM

I had discovery done for every email account the x had. So damning to have her own words on the record about playing with her meds just to get high or how much she was drinking.

Lexx		2009-12-21 12:51:29 PM

~~Facebook~~ Spouses catching their significant other flirting now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year

dittybopper		2009-12-21 12:53:02 PM

kronicfeld: 20%? No effing way.

I could see it.

Most marriages that are going to fail tend to fail in the first 10 years, with 20% of all first time marriages failing in that time frame. The next 20% (totalling 40%) doesn't happen until the 50 year mark.

Think about the implication of that, also: While 50% of marriages do end in divorce, fewer than 40% of *FIRST TIME* marriages end that way. It's the serial divorcers that screw up the stats for the rest of us.

dittybopper		2009-12-21 12:54:33 PM

dittybopper: kronicfeld: 20%? No effing way.

I could see it.

Most marriages that are going to fail tend to fail in the first 10 years, with 20% of all first time marriages failing in that time frame. The next 20% (totalling 40%) doesn't happen until the 50 year mark.

Think about the implication of that, also: While 50% of marriages do end in divorce, fewer than 40% of *FIRST TIME* marriages end that way. It's the serial divorcers that screw up the stats for the rest of us.

I got side-tracked.

The implication is that most of those getting a divorce are fairly young, and thus more likely to be on Assbook.

Ponzholio		2009-12-21 12:54:49 PM

7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

Yeah. If your marriage is so fragile an onlime networking site is the reason for a divorce, you probably shouldn't have been married in the first place...

GavinTheAlmighty		2009-12-21 12:55:01 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Don't do facebook myself but how hard would it be to have two accounts?

Dead simple, I'm sure. But I am not a discreet man.

grinding_journalist		2009-12-21 12:55:03 PM

alywa: 20% seems high, but there is no doubt that FB makes cheating easier.

In the past, your ex from HS or college was pretty much gone once you left home. Now you have instant, private communication with them if you so desire. Reality of adulthood is often not the dream folks had in their younger days, and it is pretty damn easy to slide back into more comfortable nostalgic patterns and relationships. People who may not be "the cheating type" (ie hooking up at bars or on business trips) may be far more likely to become emotionally involved again with an old friend or ex via FB. Sure, email and chat rooms have existed forever, but FB is a much easier, more private way of communicating on the sly.

I say this as someone who is happily married, but still communicates with some ex's over FB. Nothing will ever come of it, but I can see how people in unhappy marriages could succumb to the familiarity and pleasant memories of past relationships. We tend to forget why we broke up in the first place over time.

I totally believe you.

stuhayes2010		2009-12-21 12:55:34 PM

Gee, My parent divroced in the 90's, what was their excuse?

Yeah, if he wasn't on Facebook, your marriage would have been perfect.

/DNRTFA

Resin33		2009-12-21 12:56:44 PM

Yep... same here. But in defense of Facebook, it just helped things along faster. I should never have married that coont.

stuhayes2010		2009-12-21 12:57:15 PM

7of7: How many of those marriages never should have happened in the first place? I have countless friends who got married at 22 and will undoubtedly be divorced by 30. People get this stupid idea that get married and having children is a good idea but don't really think about what that really means.

THIS.

It costs practically nothing to get married, and a fortune to divorce. If it costs, say, $2000 for a marriage licence suddenly, the divorce rate would plummet in this country.

mccallcl		2009-12-21 12:57:23 PM

St_Francis_P: Yeah. If Facebook "ruined your marriage", your marriage probably sucked anyway.

Sure, and if pornography ruined your marriage it sucked anyway. And economic hard times. And a constant influx of marketing messages insisting you have to be sexy and desirable into your 50s. And the ease of acquisition of no-fault divorce.

Basically, everyone's marriage "sucks" enough to succumb to the constant barrage of undermining ideas, given enough time and the right mental state/opportunity. Unfortunately, though, marriage is one of those things that makes kids turn out better. How do we balance this?

FiatJustitia		2009-12-21 12:57:34 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: GavinTheAlmighty: Also, my wife has my Facebook password and I have hers. You have to be powerdumb to think that anything on Facebook is that Chicken Terminator: CheddarPants: I've had a couple girls I knew in high school who are now divorced send me flirty messages. But the fact that they're in New Mexico and I'm in Kentucky, coupled with the fact that I'm happy with my wife, has kept that from going anywhere.

There should be some sort of etiquette for exes and old crushes on facebook. I was hot in high school decades ago. Why do they now need to tell me they had a crush on me 20ish years ago? Could've asked me out then, might've said yes. Some handle it well, with a sense of humor, some are kind with a common reminiscence. Others are jerks propositioning me now, dude we are both married, but I am happy; or why didn't you speak to me in high school?! Because you acted like my existence annoyed you and you had the emotional maturity of a 12 yr old. You are married to a good looking woman now, let it go.

/you guys are going to make me put a pic in my profile now aren't you

Or a link.

Don't do facebook myself but how hard would it be to have two accounts?

/just sayin'...

Pretty easy. Used to be where you needed more than one college email address to get multiple accounts, now it's easy to switch from one to the other.

I have two accounts, one for trolling, and one for everyone else.

St_Francis_P		2009-12-21 01:00:14 PM

mccallcl: St_Francis_P: Yeah. If Facebook "ruined your marriage", your marriage probably sucked anyway.

Sure, and if pornography ruined your marriage it sucked anyway. And economic hard times. And a constant influx of marketing messages insisting you have to be sexy and desirable into your 50s. And the ease of acquisition of no-fault divorce.

Basically, everyone's marriage "sucks" enough to succumb to the constant barrage of undermining ideas, given enough time and the right mental state/opportunity. Unfortunately, though, marriage is one of those things that makes kids turn out better. How do we balance this?

I know several couples that have easily stayed married despite all those evil influences. It's a matter of maturity, mainly.

whoviantrekkie		2009-12-21 01:06:11 PM

St_Francis_P: It's a matter of maturity, mainly.

Or a matter of going through your own personal Kohlinahr that Nietzsche would be proud of so you can emotionlessly trudge through every day listening to the same stuff until you finally reach the grave.

Or, at least thats how my marriage at 22 is.

Nemo's Brother		2009-12-21 01:07:01 PM

Ball of Confusion: Facebook didnt ruin your marriage, your infidelity did. Facebook was just a vector for your stupid. Sloppy is sloppy.

Well said.

alywa		2009-12-21 01:07:06 PM

grinding_journalist: I totally believe you.

I can see that. My wife and I have had this very conversation many times now... we are both in agreement about how FB could easily facilitate infidelity.

Honestly, I think early relationships (teens, early 20's) leave a lasting impression on many people. Almost like imprinting on infants. I'm not scared of that, nor do I hide away from it. Given the right scenario (financial troubles at home, frustrations with kids, employment issues) one would have to be completely naive to think a lot of us don't reminisce about less stressful / complicated times in our lives. Early relationships were new, exciting, emotionally wrenching... pretty much "glory days" thinking for emotions. Of course, nothing ever really existed like it did in our minds... hence nostalgia.

I live in a small town (my wife's hometown), around 2000 miles away from my hometown. I can tell you firsthand here that many old flames still hook up... sometimes with their spouses knowledge, but often without. We're currently watching the impending disaster from a few relationships... it isn't much different than watching your friends hook up and break up in HS... just a hell of a lot more damage from the fallout.

jdogga		2009-12-21 01:10:20 PM

alywa: 20% seems high, but there is no doubt that FB makes cheating easier.

In the past, your ex from HS or college was pretty much gone once you left home. Now you have instant, private communication with them if you so desire. Reality of adulthood is often not the dream folks had in their younger days, and it is pretty damn easy to slide back into more comfortable nostalgic patterns and relationships. People who may not be "the cheating type" (ie hooking up at bars or on business trips) may be far more likely to become emotionally involved again with an old friend or ex via FB. Sure, email and chat rooms have existed forever, but FB is a much easier, more private way of communicating on the sly.

I say this as someone who is happily married, but still communicates with some ex's over FB. Nothing will ever come of it, but I can see how people in unhappy marriages could succumb to the familiarity and pleasant memories of past relationships. We tend to forget why we broke up in the first place over time.

Yours is a ticking time bomb.

Lexx		2009-12-21 01:10:36 PM

St_Francis_P: mccallcl: St_Francis_P: Yeah. If Facebook "ruined your marriage", your marriage probably sucked anyway.

Sure, and if pornography ruined your marriage it sucked anyway. And economic hard times. And a constant influx of marketing messages insisting you have to be sexy and desirable into your 50s. And the ease of acquisition of no-fault divorce.

Basically, everyone's marriage "sucks" enough to succumb to the constant barrage of undermining ideas, given enough time and the right mental state/opportunity. Unfortunately, though, marriage is one of those things that makes kids turn out better. How do we balance this?

I know several couples that have easily stayed married despite all those evil influences. It's a matter of maturity, mainly.

*shrug* anyone who gets married because they're happy in their relationship the way it is and want that state / feeling to last forever is an idiot.

//things change
//people change
//the average couple is only bound by emotional and physical passion for 6-12 months before the spell wears off.

whoviantrekkie		2009-12-21 01:17:11 PM

jdogga: alywa: 20% seems high, but there is no doubt that FB makes cheating easier.

In the past, your ex from HS or college was pretty much gone once you left home. Now you have instant, private communication with them if you so desire. Reality of adulthood is often not the dream folks had in their younger days, and it is pretty damn easy to slide back into more comfortable nostalgic patterns and relationships. People who may not be "the cheating type" (ie hooking up at bars or on business trips) may be far more likely to become emotionally involved again with an old friend or ex via FB. Sure, email and chat rooms have existed forever, but FB is a much easier, more private way of communicating on the sly.

I say this as someone who is happily married, but still communicates with some ex's over FB. Nothing will ever come of it, but I can see how people in unhappy marriages could succumb to the familiarity and pleasant memories of past relationships. We tend to forget why we broke up in the first place over time.

Yours is a ticking time bomb.

Agreed, as someone who has gone down that path before, I recognize the signs :-p

Jubeebee		2009-12-21 01:20:19 PM

whoviantrekkie: St_Francis_P: It's a matter of maturity, mainly.

Or a matter of going through your own personal Kohlinahr that Nietzsche would be proud of so you can emotionlessly trudge through every day listening to the same stuff until you finally reach the grave.

Or, at least thats how my marriage at 22 is.

All but one of my friends/family members who got married by 23 have expressed similar sentiment. Your description is more elegant than most, though.

I would be in the same boat, too, if my college girlfriend hadn't dumped me while I was ring shopping. Getting over that sucked for a long time, but I've since come to see what a good idea it was.

Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher		2009-12-21 01:20:39 PM

Chicken Terminator: CheddarPants: I've had a couple girls I knew in high school who are now divorced send me flirty messages. But the fact that they're in New Mexico and I'm in Kentucky, coupled with the fact that I'm happy with my wife, has kept that from going anywhere.

There should be some sort of etiquette for exes and old crushes on facebook. I was hot in high school decades ago. Why do they now need to tell me they had a crush on me 20ish years ago? Could've asked me out then, might've said yes. Some handle it well, with a sense of humor, some are kind with a common reminiscence. Others are jerks propositioning me now, dude we are both married, but I am happy; or why didn't you speak to me in high school?! Because you acted like my existence annoyed you and you had the emotional maturity of a 12 yr old. You are married to a good looking woman now, let it go.

/you guys are going to make me put a pic in my profile now aren't you

Don't bother. I've been around Fark long enough to recognize AW'ing when I see it. To say nothing of calling yourself hot (decades ago) in a Fark thread. The only amazing thing is that your post has been ignored entirely...a telling indicator.

Ant		2009-12-21 01:21:44 PM

In other news, the telephone has been blamed for spouses having phone sex affairs, and the ink pen has been blamed for cheating spouses writing sexy letters to their lovers.

IdBeCrazyIf		2009-12-21 01:22:10 PM

Lexx: *shrug* anyone who gets married because they're happy in their relationship the way it is and want that state / feeling to last forever is an idiot.

I tell everyone that marriage for the most part is like Disney Land. Momentary awesomeness with the rides and attractions, followed by crushing crowds, horrible smells, long waits, and paying out the nose for it.

ursomniac		2009-12-21 01:22:15 PM

I don't understand.

We were TOLD that by banning same-sex marriage we would be PROTECTING marriage.

But the divorce rate hasn't stopped, and there seems to be all these other things around that are causing marriages to fail.

NYRBill		2009-12-21 01:24:29 PM

Ball of Confusion: Facebook didnt ruin your marriage, your infidelity did. Facebook was just a vector for your stupid. Sloppy is sloppy.

THIS

whoviantrekkie		2009-12-21 01:25:33 PM

Jubeebee:

All but one of my friends/family members who got married by 23 have expressed similar sentiment. Your description is more elegant than most, though.
.

Thank you, growing a second left brain has finally paid off. (thats not a penis joke...)

Dreamer254		2009-12-21 01:25:49 PM

ursomniac: I don't understand.

We were TOLD that by banning same-sex marriage we would be PROTECTING marriage.

But the divorce rate hasn't stopped, and there seems to be all these other things around that are causing marriages to fail.

Well, obviously we must start banning these other things.

palelizard		2009-12-21 01:26:26 PM

Lexx: *shrug* anyone who gets married because they're happy in their relationship the way it is and want that state / feeling to last forever is an idiot.

//things change
//people change
//the average couple is only bound by emotional and physical passion for 6-12 months before the spell wears off.

That's why I kill all my brides on our wedding night.

FuturePastNow		2009-12-21 01:30:37 PM

bob_ross: TFD ruined mine

I know for a FACT that TFD has broken up several marriages.

Viewer		2009-12-21 01:31:42 PM

But god forbid the gays get to marry. That would pervert the concept of marriage.

IdBeCrazyIf		2009-12-21 01:32:05 PM

FuturePastNow: I know for a FACT that TFD has broken up several marriages.

Damn you Kitwilly!

Talon		2009-12-21 01:36:52 PM

JesusKnowsKungFu		2009-12-21 01:39:37 PM

Always hilarious when someone changes their relationship status and then the shiat really hits the fan

productivity_zero		2009-12-21 01:41:20 PM

Good thing I'm not married, because I just started a facebook account this past weekend.

I still don't understand half the shiat that goes on on that site. And, of course, I was stupid enough to think that my friends would be more insightful than "Whoohoo getting drunk again!" etc., ad nauseum.

/When do I get my lawn?

Lexx		2009-12-21 01:43:18 PM

palelizard: Lexx: *shrug* anyone who gets married because they're happy in their relationship the way it is and want that state / feeling to last forever is an idiot.

//things change
//people change
//the average couple is only bound by emotional and physical passion for 6-12 months before the spell wears off.

That's why I kill all my brides on our wedding night.

I couldn't help but laugh. +1 internets to you.

I dunno, marriage is losing its influence and deeper social meaning. It's no longer a business / community construct where mutual prosperity comes from spice farmer A marrying importer/exporter B. Marriage doesn't carry the stage-of-life meaning either, where you're a child, then you get married and have your own family (definition of an adult), etc.

Marriage matters more to immigration official than to anyone else these days. You don't need to be married to validate a relationship, you don't need to be married to have sex, or raise a family, or be treated by society as an adult. You don't need to get married to enjoy the taxation and employment benefits. So why do we still get married?

Talon		2009-12-21 01:47:24 PM

Lexx: Marriage matters more to immigration official than to anyone else these days. You don't need to be married to validate a relationship, you don't need to be married to have sex, or raise a family, or be treated by society as an adult. You don't need to get married to enjoy the taxation and employment benefits. So why do we still get married?

To make things nice and official. You can rent a car or a house and get all the same benefits as owning... but it's not the same as actually owning it.

IMO, to each his own.

/Married in my early 20s
//loving all these "zomg gonna fail if married before 65" comments ;P

mesohorny		2009-12-21 01:52:47 PM

FuturePastNow: bob_ross: TFD ruined mine

I know for a FACT that TFD has broken up several marriages.

Tucson Fire Department?

This		2009-12-21 01:53:14 PM

mesohorny: Tucson Fire Department?

Totalfark Discussion.

KJM315		2009-12-21 01:54:29 PM

Lexx: //things change
//people change

//Hairstyles change

3.bp.blogspot.com

St_Francis_P		2009-12-21 01:57:25 PM

Lexx: St_Francis_P: mccallcl: St_Francis_P: Yeah. If Facebook "ruined your marriage", your marriage probably sucked anyway.

Sure, and if pornography ruined your marriage it sucked anyway. And economic hard times. And a constant influx of marketing messages insisting you have to be sexy and desirable into your 50s. And the ease of acquisition of no-fault divorce.

Basically, everyone's marriage "sucks" enough to succumb to the constant barrage of undermining ideas, given enough time and the right mental state/opportunity. Unfortunately, though, marriage is one of those things that makes kids turn out better. How do we balance this?

I know several couples that have easily stayed married despite all those evil influences. It's a matter of maturity, mainly.

*shrug* anyone who gets married because they're happy in their relationship the way it is and want that state / feeling to last forever is an idiot.

//things change
//people change
//the average couple is only bound by emotional and physical passion for 6-12 months before the spell wears off.

I'll state the blindingly obvious, which is they shouldn't get married if it's a temporary thing. Just live together, or whatever until you're tired of it.

whoviantrekkie		2009-12-21 01:57:56 PM

Talon:
//loving all these "zomg gonna fail if married before 65" comments ;P

Then you must be one of those enlightened ones who have captured imaginary force in a bottle by willing it to be so. It's not quantifiable, therefore does not exist -- it's only perception.