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(Iwon)   Nuns go on trial for breaking into unmanned military missile silo   (news1.iwon.com) divider line 87
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22 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2003 at 12:03 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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OBB
2003-04-02 08:58:34 AM
Going into unmanned missile silos is a bad "habit" to get into.
 
OBB
2003-04-02 10:09:57 AM
Oh wait, oh wait, I got another.... The US military said they'll have "nun" of that....

Thank you, I'll be here all week... tip your waitress, they work hard.
 
2003-04-02 10:32:31 AM
I smell Sister Act 3 in the works.
 
2003-04-02 11:15:15 AM
Excuse me, but they're "Nuns" - exactly how would one "punish" them by incarceration? Living a life of isolation and social repression IS their job - they volunteered for this gig. Prison bars or stained glass - there's little difference.
 
2003-04-02 11:32:26 AM
Yeah, but the shower scenes will be a little more explicit in the pokey, Bump. Hmmm, or will they?
 
2003-04-02 12:05:43 PM
hot lesbian granny action ensues.
 
2003-04-02 12:06:53 PM
Lock 'em up. Throw away the key.
 
2003-04-02 12:07:38 PM
Never trust a nun.
 
2003-04-02 12:08:13 PM
Man, why cant cathoic schools have THOSE sorts of nuns running about and teaching Government classes.

"This, children, is a false religion of democracy. HEATHENS!"
 
2003-04-02 12:08:31 PM
Hummm, militant nuns ninja turtles...
 
2003-04-02 12:09:06 PM
I'd love to live in a missile silo myself. Don't think the nuns would be a welcome addition though.
 
2003-04-02 12:09:36 PM
It is so wonderful that our Homeland Security Defense Department is doing such a terrific job. By God's grace, it is now clear that maybe there are a couple weapons that are in enemy hands.

I like how Bush demanded that Saddam give a report of all of Iraq's WMD. That is a good policy for America to also follow. By the way, how did Marc Rich make all his billions. Hmmmmmmm. He wasn't selling candy bars.
 
2003-04-02 12:09:37 PM
BUMP, as punishment force them to spend five ours in a private booth will Colin Farrell
 
2003-04-02 12:09:37 PM
Breaking into a missile silo? These sound like ninja special forces nuns to me.
 
2003-04-02 12:09:55 PM
Dominican Sisters Carolyn Gilbert, Jackie Hudson and Ardeth Platte have said they broke into the Minuteman III silo on Oct. 6 to "unmask the false religion and worship of national security."

The trio cut cables and made the sign of the cross with their own blood on the lid of the silo near Greeley, Colorado. They were in the silo for about an hour before military police arrived and took them into custody.


Is it me or are religions (Catholic, in particular, but all of them) getting wackier by the day?

They made the sign of the cross in their own blood? What is this, the Middle Ages?

And what is the talk of "the false religion of national security"? It wouldn't surprise me that the Bush II administration has set up a "Religion Of National Security" aptly acronymed RONS, but still...
 
2003-04-02 12:10:29 PM
DickDarlington clearly agreed with me in advance there.
 
2003-04-02 12:11:09 PM
LMAO @ DickDarlington
 
2003-04-02 12:11:30 PM
Were they pirate nuns?
 
2003-04-02 12:13:09 PM
Mmmmmm, nuns in sexy orange jump suits! Someone hit it, please!
 
2003-04-02 12:13:58 PM
did someone call them nunjas? i scrolled thru too fast.
 
2003-04-02 12:14:44 PM
DanielVovak -
The US was/is required to disclose all of it's nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons under the provisions of the START, START II, and SALT arms reductions treaties.
 
2003-04-02 12:16:24 PM
They must've been confused when they heard the term "Holy War."

Sweet Mother of Mercy, that was cheese.
 
2003-04-02 12:16:39 PM
hmmm miss-iles, unmanned...
 
2003-04-02 12:17:36 PM
CommanderApaul
The US was/is required to disclose all of it's nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons under the provisions of the START, START II, and SALT arms reductions treaties.


Is it available on the internet? Give me a link.
By the way, I will read more about the STARTs. I didn't realize that SALT required it for all nuclear weapons and devices
 
CB
2003-04-02 12:18:41 PM

Look out! Sister Bertrille's on a strafing run!
 
2003-04-02 12:19:24 PM
Do they have to wear orange habits too? Bump is right about the time, but where will they get the $250,000?
 
2003-04-02 12:19:28 PM
Prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law! Then make them pay restitution costs, for police, trials etc. This way the taxpayers, including all the legal protesters are not flipping the bill.
The monies spent on these illegal protests are dollars that should/could be spent on homeland security.
 
2003-04-02 12:21:22 PM
What is with Nun's nowadays?
 
2003-04-02 12:24:56 PM
Sentence them to having their knuckles whacked with the metal edge of a wood ruler 1,000,000,000 times. I volunteer.
 
2003-04-02 12:28:14 PM
04-02-03 12:09:36 PM DanielVovak
It is so wonderful that our Homeland Security Defense Department is doing such a terrific job. By God's grace, it is now clear that maybe there are a couple weapons that are in enemy hands.

You want us to take tips on nuclear security from the Soviets, maybe?
 
2003-04-02 12:28:27 PM
Doesn't anyone in the Catholic Church have enough to straighten out INSIDE their religion?
 
2003-04-02 12:30:44 PM
WTF? Are these women implying that Christianity and war are incompatible?
 
2003-04-02 12:31:38 PM
Hmmm. Lock 'em up, toss away the key, weld the cells shut, and let God free them when he wants. If their faith is so strong, they should be willing, no?
 
2003-04-02 12:32:51 PM
Approximately 6 months ago an emergency preparedness drill/simulation was run in this area, organized by WEMA, FEMA, the White House, military, etc. One of the things they warned us about was possible protesters coming into the area, specifically a group of women that dress as nuns.

So now the question in my mind is...are these real nuns? Women just dressed as nuns? The same ones we were warned to be on the look-out for?

Curious.
 
2003-04-02 12:34:22 PM
These two nuns alone have more guts than every atheist on Fark combined.
 
2003-04-02 12:38:03 PM
Dominican Sisters Carolyn Gilbert, Jackie Hudson and Ardeth Platte have said they broke into the Minuteman III silo on Oct. 6 to "unmask the false religion and worship of national security."

Has the Pope weighed in on this administration's apostasy?
If not, these nuns should be, er ... de-habitted?
 
2003-04-02 12:40:48 PM
I thought that I ha seen somewhere that you could buy a decomissioned missile silo and live in it. (possibly I am smoking crack or just stupid. Anyone know anything about that?
 
2003-04-02 12:40:56 PM
04-02-03 12:34:22 PM GimmeesomebeefRAW
These two nuns alone have more guts than every atheist on Fark combined.

Your half-formed, incoherent, and poorly expressed ideas intrigue me. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2003-04-02 12:41:10 PM
So these three nuns walk into a missile silo. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
 
2003-04-02 12:48:26 PM
Q:What kind of meat does the Pope eat on Fridays?
A:Nun

/rimshot

Seriously though, why was this an unmanned silo? If a group of nuns could break in and do damage, imagine what a bunch of bored teenagers could do on a Friday night...
 
2003-04-02 12:48:30 PM
QUestion:

If God/Jesus came back today, would he/she/it be legally Married to all the Nuns out there?

And if so, would that make him a Mormon?
 
2003-04-02 12:50:10 PM
[Jake and Elwood go in and climb the stairs until they reach a door. Just before Elwood knocks on the door, a voice is heard from inside.]

Nun: Who is it?
Elwood: Jake and Elwood.
Nun: Come in.

[They go in. The door shuts behind them.]

Nun: Hello boys, nice to see you. Please, have a seat.

[Jack and Elwood sit on seats at back of room.]

No no boys. Come over here in front of me. I want to see your faces.

[They shuffle up a bit closer.]

The county took a tax assessment of this property last month. They want five thousand dollars.
Elwood: Doesn't the church have to pay that?
Nun: They would if they were interested in keeping the place, but they aren't. The Arch Bishop wants to sell this building outright to the board of Education.
Elwood: What's gonna happen to you?
Nun: I'll be sent to the missions.
Jake: Forget it, five grand; no problem, we'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go Elwood.
Nun: NO NO! I will not take your filthy stolen money.
Jake: Well then, I guess you're really up shiat creek.

[The nun hits Jake on the hand with a ruler.]

Nun: I beg your pardon what did you say?
Jake: I offered to help you. You refused to take our money, then I said ``I guess you're really up shiat creek''.

[She hit's him again.]

Elwood: Christ Jake take it easy, man
Nun: Elwood!

[She starts hitting them both as the language deteriorates.]

Elwood: Ah you fat penguin!

[The ruler breaks and the Nun reaches for a sword. Jake and Elwood go tumbling down the stairs.]

Nun: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the ten commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.

[She disappears back into her office and the door mysteriously closes.]

Curtis: Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way. Jake! Elwood!
Jake & Elwood: Curtis!
Curtis: Hey, buy you boys a drink?
 
2003-04-02 12:53:00 PM
 
2003-04-02 12:54:39 PM
 
2003-04-02 12:57:00 PM
IrieTom
What's that from?
 
2003-04-02 12:57:04 PM
Hummm, militant nuns ninja turtles...hahahaha
 
2003-04-02 01:00:40 PM
Oh wait...got it. Spaced out there.

But it looked like I was working.
 
2003-04-02 01:01:12 PM
Lewis
Deep sarcasm. It's good to see I'm not the only one out there.
 
2003-04-02 01:02:36 PM
What would make those silly nuns do such a thing? Could it be SATAN?
 
2003-04-02 01:05:35 PM
I thought that I ha seen somewhere that you could buy a decomissioned missile silo and live in it. (possibly I am smoking crack or just stupid. Anyone know anything about that?

yeah they're all over. I used to date someone who's school in kansas was a decomissioned missile silo. And I've read plenty of articles about people moving into them.

Though the "in" things these days are decomissioned light houses
 
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