FARK.com: (4869855) Should you ever find yourself likely to have to make a swift getaway from a farm, it helps to know the location of the slurry pit in advance

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		Should you ever find yourself likely to have to make a swift getaway from a farm, it helps to know the location of the slurry pit in advance (telegraph.co.uk)		54
		More: Amusing, Folletts Farm, excrement

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5434 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2009 at 7:02 PM | Favorite | share:

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yogaFLAME

2009-12-19 04:52:14 PM

But he was disturbed by beef farmer Lance House, 50, and fell into a deep slurry pit as he fled through the darkness.

I humbly submit that this is the greatest sentence ever written in all of journalism.

Mentat

2009-12-19 06:37:29 PM

yogaFLAME: But he was disturbed by beef farmer Lance House, 50, and fell into a deep slurry pit as he fled through the darkness.

I humbly submit that this is the greatest sentence ever written in all of journalism.

And then a shot rang out!

GCD

2009-12-19 07:08:20 PM

Four fire crews were called to the scene and spent one hour rescuing him from the excrement using ropes and specialist equipment.

Yeh, because I can guarantee you that not one firefighter is willingly going to wade into a pit of shiat for this assclown.

Ponzholio

2009-12-19 07:09:32 PM

I wondr if the first thing he said was 'Oh shiat!'

Barakku

2009-12-19 07:11:32 PM

I call bullshiat.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

2009-12-19 07:14:48 PM

Something stinks about this story

nohit

2009-12-19 07:15:18 PM

WE_DELIVER

2009-12-19 07:21:38 PM

Dieing in a slurry pit...what a shiatty way to go

wildsnowllama

2009-12-19 07:22:12 PM

Mentat: yogaFLAME: But he was disturbed by beef farmer Lance House, 50, and fell into a deep slurry pit as he fled through the darkness.

I humbly submit that this is the greatest sentence ever written in all of journalism.

And then a shot rang out!

"Rang out"? Inspired! (new window)

GCD

2009-12-19 07:22:43 PM

WE_DELIVER: Dieing in a slurry pit...what a shiatty way to go

Yeh, I heard that dieing is a really shiatty way of going. Supposedly, it's right on par with dying.

Ashtrey

2009-12-19 07:23:05 PM

Well I learned something today. Never heard of a slurry pit before.

deevo

2009-12-19 07:25:07 PM

Maybe if this farmer hadn't been marching around with a torch, there would have been no need to host a fire brigade.

WE_DELIVER

2009-12-19 07:25:43 PM

GCD: Dieing
Touché :-)

SwiftFox

2009-12-19 07:30:03 PM

Man ure in trouble now

/got nuthin'

Dionysus

2009-12-19 07:32:32 PM

Paging Gorgor, please report to thread #4869855. Your expertise is required.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

2009-12-19 07:38:37 PM

Dionysus: Paging Gorgor, please report to thread #4869855. Your expertise is required.

Mods please delete that comment and ban that farker

for the good of us all.

Gyrfalcon

2009-12-19 07:40:33 PM

cryinoutloud

2009-12-19 07:43:08 PM

I wonder where this fool thought he was going with a tractor? A used car lot?

wildsnowllama

2009-12-19 07:44:04 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Dionysus: Paging Gorgor, please report to thread #4869855. Your expertise is required.

Mods please delete that comment and ban that farker

for the good of us all.

Can't sleep, Gorgor links will eat me... O.o

HumbleGenius

2009-12-19 07:46:26 PM

Scurry in a hurry right into slurry. Fury.

backseatdriver

2009-12-19 07:47:51 PM

BesiktasBoy83

2009-12-19 07:51:12 PM

Sounds like he should have taken more 'caition' over where he was running to ;0

MBooda

2009-12-19 07:53:38 PM

You know who else made a swift getaway from a farm?
www.homevideos.com

/watching it on TNT right now, of course

Furious_Chicken

2009-12-19 07:55:29 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie

2009-12-19 07:58:49 PM

I HATE MANURE! (new window)

Priapic

2009-12-19 08:05:15 PM

He was marooned to his neck in a cesspool? In Britain they call the res-q squad. In Texas we'd use him for target practice.

farkin_Gary

2009-12-19 08:05:36 PM

Gyrfalcon: Mentat: yogaFLAME: But he was disturbed by beef farmer Lance House, 50, and fell into a deep slurry pit as he fled through the darkness.

I humbly submit that this is the greatest sentence ever written in all of journalism.

And then a shot rang out!

The maid screamed! Just then, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon.

...and little early birdie came by in his curly whirly, and asked me if I needed a ride.

Rubber Biscuit

2009-12-19 08:11:22 PM

MBooda: You know who else made a swift getaway from a farm?

/watching it on TNT right now, of course

Fabulous!

Scrotumnal Equinox

2009-12-19 08:14:37 PM

If you were neck deep in a slurry pit and someone threw a bucket of vomit at your head, would you duck?

D-Liver

2009-12-19 08:26:59 PM

...were pitted against him.

Barakku

2009-12-19 08:28:26 PM

D-Liver: It looks like the odds...
...were pitted against him.

You could even say he's...
...up sh*t creek

Dionysus

2009-12-19 08:36:37 PM

Barakku: D-Liver: It looks like the odds...
...were pitted against him.

You could even say he's...
...up sh*t creek

/YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

PsychoPhil

2009-12-19 08:48:16 PM

Which is why this:
www.pennjerseyproducts.com

was invented.

Oh, and the name 'slurry' is so cute.

Ok, any farmers want to tell us WTF that shiat's used for?

Rufus Lee King

2009-12-19 09:05:05 PM

Stay tuned for the new BBC comedy, "Yes, It's the Sewage Farm Attendant".

TinfoilBerka

2009-12-19 09:05:45 PM

There once was a high lad from Somerset
thought 'the Follett Tractor i will get'
Startled by farmer House
scurried off like a mouse
and found himself in a slurry pit!

/sounds like a real shiat hole

CygnusDarius

2009-12-19 09:07:29 PM

GCD: Four fire crews were called to the scene and spent one hour rescuing him from the excrement using ropes and specialist equipment.

Yeh, because I can guarantee you that not one firefighter is willingly going to wade into a pit of shiat for this assclown.

I think it was more of "You have to see this! Bring the brews!" kinda situation.

/And everyone laughed their asses off when the guy was taken out
//So much you just set him free in ashamed

D-Liver

2009-12-19 09:11:03 PM

TinfoilBerka: There once was a high lad from Somerset
thought 'the Follett Tractor i will get'
Startled by farmer House
scurried off like a mouse
and found himself in a slurry pit!

/sounds like a real shiat hole

I am more of a haiku person:

I fell into poo
Some of it got in my mouth
I must brush my teeth

Rufus Lee King

2009-12-19 09:18:13 PM

"Howwwwwwdy-ho!"

TinfoilBerka

2009-12-19 09:32:56 PM

D-Liver: TinfoilBerka: There once was a high lad from Somerset
thought 'the Follett Tractor i will get'
Startled by farmer House
scurried off like a mouse
and found himself in a slurry pit!

/sounds like a real shiat hole

I am more of a haiku person:

I fell into poo
Some of it got in my mouth
I must brush my teeth

Wanted a tractor
Go make a few crop circles
Plan went all to shiat

rcreveli

2009-12-19 10:02:37 PM

During High school in around 1990 we lived in upstate NY near Colgate University. My brother bought a beater Bombardier snowmobile I think it was 240cc 2 stroke that was only running on 1 of 2 cylinders and no working headlight. Our neighbor had a 380cc near new 4 stroke.

So one night their out running through some fields.

Our neighbor is leading the way and bouncing over all the little hills with my brother close behind. On 1 hill, Scott, my neighbor flies over a patch of ice. My brother hit the ice square and didn't have the power or speed to glide across and went right through, chest deep in a shiat pit.

Our neighbors dad came and pulled the sled out. The suit, sled and Neighbors dad's new $150.00 boots were shot. The sled sat in the barn for week and smell satyed for another year.

That's one of those stories that never gets old.

ironrat

2009-12-19 10:16:54 PM

Bastard tractor thief deserved what he got!
s237.photobucket.com

Lets all post our tractors up!!

tuffsnake

2009-12-20 12:02:18 AM

Um I find myself asking, 'what does this have to do with cows?'

ShavedApe

2009-12-20 12:10:52 AM

He's in deep doo doo.

/I feel dirty, now.

Gyrfalcon

2009-12-20 12:23:15 AM

tuffsnake: Um I find myself asking, 'what does this have to do with cows?'

That was yesterday. Try to keep up.

Nightmaretony

2009-12-20 02:22:23 AM

Small but does the job

//need to get some fuel nozzles for it. blah.

Jgok

2009-12-20 02:36:54 AM

PsychoPhil: Which is why this:
was invented.
Oh, and the name 'slurry' is so cute.
Ok, any farmers want to tell us WTF that shiat's used for?

It depends, but usually fertilizer. It's basically just livestock shiat mixed with water.

ckellingc

2009-12-20 02:48:55 AM

Who said slutty pit?

meekychuppet

2009-12-20 06:24:21 AM

Any UK Farkers aged around 30-35 will remember this from the public information film, Apaches. Life imitates art.

meekychuppet

2009-12-20 06:32:13 AM

Apaches death scenes (^)

Slurry pit death is number two.

FarkinNortherner

2009-12-20 09:31:10 AM

meekychuppet: Any UK Farkers aged around 30-35 will remember this from the public information film, Apaches. Life imitates art.

LOL, that takes you back!

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