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(Huliq) Dumbass US General: You can fight for our freedom, just don't get pregnant or I'll throw your ass in prison   (huliq.com) divider line 353
More: Dumbass, Northern Iraq, U.S., generalities, Major General Anthony Cucolo, overpopulations, stars and stripes, war zones  
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21242 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2009 at 6:22 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



353 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-12-19 01:09:57 PM
Since pregnant soldiers are immediately rotated out of a combat theater back to their base in the United States, they're not doing much fighting for our freedom.
 
2009-12-19 01:31:44 PM
Wouldn't it be simpler and more effective to mandate birth control for frontline personnel?
 
2009-12-19 01:48:57 PM
I think this is fair. It's a condition of employment. It's not like they don't have access to medical care to prevent pregnancy.
 
2009-12-19 04:06:24 PM
I was half expecting that the policy would only apply to the women who become pregnant and have no impact whatsoever upon the impregnating man. But that does not appear to be the case here; both parties can be court-martialed for the pregnancy. Having a hard time really seeing this as a problem. "Don't get pregnant or get a fellow soldier pregnant in a combat zone" seems like a somewhat reasonable policy.
 
2009-12-19 04:16:08 PM
Pocket Ninja: I was half expecting that the policy would only apply to the women who become pregnant and have no impact whatsoever upon the impregnating man. But that does not appear to be the case here; both parties can be court-martialed for the pregnancy. Having a hard time really seeing this as a problem. "Don't get pregnant or get a fellow soldier pregnant in a combat zone" seems like a somewhat reasonable policy.

I personally believe that the act of impregnating these women should be a shameful enough punishment for the men involved. This is not the Israeli Army we're talking about here, ya know?
imgur.com
/prior Marine
//one tour
///hideous as all getout
 
2009-12-19 04:18:38 PM
DiegoTheGoat: Wouldn't it be simpler and more effective to mandate birth control for frontline personnel?

oh we couldn't do that - it'd be immoral.
 
2009-12-19 04:32:04 PM
Seeing as they know what causes pregnancy now, and that those soldiers are property of the government, I have no problem with it. They signed up for it.
 
2009-12-19 04:38:17 PM
If you ever really want to have fun, ask what the official Army policy on abortion is for troops in a combat zone.
 
2009-12-19 04:46:37 PM
I feel like subby is the only one so far who has a problem with this. *shrug* I'm sure some GARBL will be along shortly.
 
2009-12-19 05:07:48 PM
It's not like he went as far as to say no farkin...just don't incapacitate one of your fellow soldiers for 9+ months. Seems reasonable.
 
2009-12-19 05:08:22 PM
I wonder if they allow for abortions.

Also, is sex itself allowed in combat zones?
 
2009-12-19 05:13:35 PM
coco ebert: is sex itself allowed in combat zones?

I'd imagine it's not, but that's a bit difficult to enforce.
 
2009-12-19 05:18:23 PM
coco ebert: Also, is sex itself allowed in combat zones?

I guess it depends on if you leave witnesses behind or not...
 
2009-12-19 05:25:54 PM
Authoritarianism is authoritative
 
2009-12-19 05:31:25 PM
More vibrators for some, kleenex for others and lube for all.
 
2009-12-19 05:32:17 PM
coco ebert: I wonder if they allow for abortions.

Also, is sex itself allowed in combat zones?


I think it used to be banned outright under the Multinational Force General Order Number One, but now it's "highly discouraged."

The usual regulations against adultery, and fraternization between officer and enlisted, supervisor and subordinate still apply. I can't find a recent copy of GO-1, but I believe the ban on sex with the local women is still enforced.

They gave us a few of the new big MRAP vehicles, which the large troop compartment in the back. They were too large for our urban sector, so they sat in the motor pool, and became the Baghdad Bang Bus. $20 bucks and the driver would give you the keys for the night. Um, a friend told me. In a totally different unit. Uh, yeah.
 
2009-12-19 06:11:42 PM
Weaver95: coco ebert: Also, is sex itself allowed in combat zones?

I guess it depends on if you leave witnesses behind or not...


Well, if the witness was enjoying it I certainly wouldn't leave her behind.
 
Bek
2009-12-19 06:17:58 PM
Sgt Otter: I think it used to be banned outright under the Multinational Force General Order Number One, but now it's "highly discouraged."

The usual regulations against adultery, and fraternization between officer and enlisted, supervisor and subordinate still apply. I can't find a recent copy of GO-1, but I believe the ban on sex with the local women is still enforced.

They gave us a few of the new big MRAP vehicles, which the large troop compartment in the back. They were too large for our urban sector, so they sat in the motor pool, and became the Baghdad Bang Bus. $20 bucks and the driver would give you the keys for the night. Um, a friend told me. In a totally different unit. Uh, yeah.


Your farky is being upgraded from 'Weapons guy' to 'Do not fark with under any circumstances- also, military guy'.

Weaver95: If you ever really want to have fun, ask what the official Army policy on abortion is for troops in a combat zone.

Can't you just tell us, or will you go crazy because it involves abortion?
 
2009-12-19 06:29:58 PM
coco ebert: I wonder if they allow for abortions.

Also, is sex itself allowed in combat zones?


Well, they say love is a battlefield.

Maybe that's why they keep confusing IEDs with IUDs.
 
2009-12-19 06:30:03 PM
Good.

The first chick won't do time, but that Big Chicken Dinner will haunt her for the rest of her life.

Actions have consequences.
 
2009-12-19 06:30:24 PM
The woman are there to either:

A. Fight
B. Support the men who are fighting.

That's the job they signed up for. It's not their job to get pregnant and then get sent home.

Besides, it's not fair to those mothers who enlisted who have left their families to fight for our country.
 
2009-12-19 06:30:56 PM
People are going to fark.
The military doesn't want soldiers getting pregnant.
The military doesn't want gays to serve.

Is it just me or is there an obvious solution to this problem? We need an all-gay military.
 
2009-12-19 06:31:04 PM
Maybe subby should have the "Dumbass" tag.
 
2009-12-19 06:31:06 PM
Shrugs.

If it's in the contract that you signed then hey don't get knocked up. I believe in the Victoria's Secret models contract they cant get pregnant till they're contract is up and the only one who did violate that was Heidi.


/and the other 2 angels
//ahh the power to be a supermodel
 
2009-12-19 06:32:49 PM
What I want to know is how people in war zones are getting more action than me!

/stupid med school killing any semblance of a social life
 
2009-12-19 06:34:26 PM
My husband help build those MRAPs, so Im getting a kick...His, uh friends would often sleep back there during their shift. Oh and they were all Russian. Good thing they are only being used for bow chica wow wow.
 
2009-12-19 06:34:35 PM
I'm serious with that question. Does the military provide abortions if a woman gets pregnant?
 
2009-12-19 06:34:39 PM
coco ebert: I wonder if they allow for abortions.

Also, is sex itself allowed in combat zones?


Only in the pooper.
 
2009-12-19 06:34:52 PM
Dr. Nick Riviera: What I want to know is how people in war zones are getting more action than me!

/stupid med school killing any semblance of a social life


I guess if your chances of getting killed were that high you'd be farking everything in sight...look at the bright side - once you finish med school and become a doctor you'll have an unlimited supply of patients to take advantage of!
 
2009-12-19 06:35:19 PM
Having spent 20 years in the military, I say "About friggin' time." Yeah, I know, miracle of birth, blah blah blah, but do it once your deployment is over. In the meantime, it's not as if you've got no access to birth control. As for abortion, I don't know any women who got knocked up while her hubby was away on deployment that ever refused to get one "on moral grounds", so I'm not buying that story.
 
2009-12-19 06:36:46 PM
Jerseylina: I personally believe that the act of impregnating these women should be a shameful enough punishment for the men involved. This is not the Israeli Army we're talking about here, ya know?

After basic training I would have farked anything that moved.
 
2009-12-19 06:36:46 PM
I have no problem with this policy. I just wish they would apply it to the females who, as soon as word gets out that the unit is deploying, start getting banged like a screen door in a hurricane so they will get pregnant and stay home.

Tougher to prove intent there, but it would be nice.
 
2009-12-19 06:36:54 PM
The "women" I've seen in uniform don't need birth control. Gawd what a bunch of el dogoes.
 
2009-12-19 06:36:58 PM
I have a problem with this order. While it is lawful under the UCMJ, i.e. Article 92, I've been on deployments where sex was forbidden, unless you were an officer and/or SNCO. Junior enlisted often get the hammer for violations. Commissioned officers often times get a past. Worse, favorites of some officers get the look-the-other-way option.

/I submitted this with a better headline from the Stars & Stripes, IMHO.
//Commanding US general in Iraq makes pregnancy or impregnation offenses punishable by court-martial and imprisonment, even for married couples. This should end well
 
2009-12-19 06:37:24 PM
Weaver95: If you ever really want to have fun, ask what the official Army policy on abortion is for troops in a combat zone.

Falcon Punch?
www.nvnews.net
 
2009-12-19 06:39:00 PM
coco ebert: I'm serious with that question. Does the military provide abortions if a woman gets pregnant?

I don't believe so. Tricare is restricted from providing abortion services to all service personnel. Thanks to Republicans, I believe.

Anyone know better and/or more than I?
 
2009-12-19 06:39:13 PM
Dr. Nick Riviera: What I want to know is how people in war zones are getting more action than me!

/stupid med school killing any semblance of a social life


Nobody has more sex then the residents. Nobody.
 
2009-12-19 06:39:22 PM
Dr. Nick Riviera: What I want to know is how people in war zones are getting more action than me!

/stupid med school killing any semblance of a social life


Are you not on break?? Usually people fark each other during study breaks. Don't tell me you're that one geeky guy in Human Behavior class that no girl wants to bang.
 
2009-12-19 06:40:02 PM
DiegoTheGoat: Wouldn't it be simpler and more effective to mandate birth control for frontline personnel?

THIS. Also, if you have a major problem with others controlling your life, don't join the military during wartime.
 
2009-12-19 06:40:56 PM
Rug Doctor: DiegoTheGoat: Wouldn't it be simpler and more effective to mandate birth control for frontline personnel?

THIS. Also, if you have a major problem with others controlling your life, don't join the military during wartime.


Let's be honest. People sign up so they can have someone tell them what to do for the next 4-30 years.
 
2009-12-19 06:41:26 PM
Sounds fair to me.

Don't join the military and get knocked up. Find avenues to prevent it.

/I'd go more into it but I'm typing on my phone...somebody can probably pick up the slack...
 
2009-12-19 06:41:26 PM
I've seen too many women get to their first duty station, IMMEDIATELY start whoring themselves around for every favor you can imagine, and then riding out the inevitable pregnancy/early infancy benefits until it's time for their discharge, all to suck up a paycheck and benefits package, without having to actually DO anything, to have much sympathy for those affected by this policy. Stop being sluts and start doing your JOB.

This goes for men as well, but don't get me started on slutty guys. Think they're hot shiat until they're standing in front of the CO trying to explain why they thought they were too cool to be subject to rules about fraternization, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and providing minors with alcohol.
 
2009-12-19 06:41:37 PM
As long as the men are punished equally to the women for pregnancy, and as often, and as consistently, I am all for this.

I wonder how they plan to enforce it?

And, is contraception, and are abortions allowed on the front lines?

People will fruck, so give them protection, and accidents happen, so why destroy two careers for each accident?
 
2009-12-19 06:42:08 PM
Said US General's pregnant mistress and love child in 3... 2... 1....
 
2009-12-19 06:42:29 PM
billsmovieemporium.files.wordpress.com
Welcome to Fark, General, Sir.
 
2009-12-19 06:42:35 PM
I guess my only question would be what happens if a servicewoman gets accidentally knocked up by her SO while at home on leave, but she's supposed to be redeployed?
 
2009-12-19 06:42:39 PM
cowsspinach: Are you not on break?? Usually people fark each other during study breaks. Don't tell me you're that one geeky guy in Human Behavior class that no girl wants to bang.

Cardiology test on Monday, then break. I'm dying this weekend.

If I can't think of who that guy is, does that mean that he is me?
 
2009-12-19 06:43:31 PM
Premature abortion, for free.
 
2009-12-19 06:44:04 PM
Jerseylina:

I personally believe that the act of impregnating these women should be a shameful enough punishment for the men involved. This is not the Israeli Army we're talking about here, ya know?

/prior Marine
//one tour
///hideous as all getout


Is the Israeli Army compulsory service or something? Do they have a lot of beautiful woman because ALL their women have to serve, or is it something else?
 
2009-12-19 06:45:38 PM
I'm expecting a spike in false accusations of rape.
 
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