Over in one.

hubiestubert: Nineteen-year-old Jordan S. Christensen of Appleton was sentenced Friday to one year in jail and three years' probation. Outagamie County Judge John Des Jardins has ordered "no dating of the opposite sex without permission of your probation agent."


Hey, according to the judge, he's got plenty of choice. He wants to date, he's just got to date the boys. He has ALL THE FREEDOM IN THE WORLD TO DATE, amiright?

I'm actually surprised that Troll-mitter didn't hop on that aspect of the story first.

Yeah, and it will come in hand since they're throwing him in prison.

I don't think this is due to sex offender laws. It's just part of his probation.

Anyways, a "badass" like him will have no trouble finding dates, even with the extra hurdle. Sadly, I'm not sarcastic.

Damn Freudian slip. "Come in handy"

"no dating of the opposite sex without permission of your probation agent."

... I see what you did there

Um yeah, troll-mitter that's exactly what this story is about; state control over dating, rather than specific stipulations placed upon one individual by one judge in one small county. Why whas this crap even greenlit?

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if this ruling gets him laid quite a bit.

"I don't know baby, I might have to get permission from my probation officer before this goes anywhere"

Is it just me or does this sound like a violation of something...

I got it... it is his civil rights!

That sounds FABULOUS!

Bullshiat
Police State
Etc

It's less likely than you think.

Heh. I hope this was intentional, because it's pretty funny.

The cute ones he'll work fast with, and no one will ever hear about it... and what better excuse to get that fat chick in the bar away from you?

Gloval: It's less likely than you think.

Heh. I hope this was intentional, because it's pretty funny.

Oh, wait. I misread the headline. It was almost subversively clever!

RonEdwards: Is it just me or does this sound like a violation of something...

I got it... it is his civil rights!

Breaking the law = forfeiture of certain civil rights. You should know this.

Haha, I love it! Keep 'em coming, nanny state.

Wait, so he specifically said "no dating" as a requirement, as if there were an official definition of the act? How about just having friends with benefits?

Quadruplator: Haha, I love it! Keep 'em coming, nanny state.

I think the intention was to prevent that.

etymxris: Anyways, a "badass" like him will have no trouble finding dates, even with the extra hurdle. Sadly, I'm not sarcastic.

You sound like you had a shiatty childhood.

no dating of the opposite sex without permission of your probation agent

The only recourse, of course, is to date members of the SAME sex. Which can be done without permission.

I thought this was about the General in northern Iraq who forbid people under his command, contractors there, and even people just accompanying the units, to get pregnant (or get someone pregnant) under threat of court martial AND jail time. WTF!

Clearly he went wrong when he went on a date, not when he decided stealing cars was acceptable

Christensen had pleaded no contest to charges of auto theft, stealing a firearm and bail jumping.

Only 19 years old and steals both a automobile and firearm while out on bail? Sounds like a real winner girls.

/one year of jail is not enough.
//they will be lining up to date him.

Sweet, sex with no strings attached!

It's okay it he goes the ghey, just no girls.

What ever happened to plain old Friends with Benefits?

What if he just farks the girls, but doesn't date them?

Saborlas 2009-12-19 12:44:44 PM And once again, out of control sex offender laws nail another kid. I doubt evading age of consent laws was the reason he took his girlfriend across state lines.
---------------------------------------

Age of Consent of Wisconsin: 18
Age of Consent of Tennessee: 18

Either he wasn't, or he's a moron.

Saners: Christensen had pleaded no contest to charges of auto theft, stealing a firearm and bail jumping.

Only 19 years old and steals both a automobile and firearm while out on bail? Sounds like a real winner girls.

/one year of jail is not enough.
//they will be lining up to date him.

Alas, This.

"no dating of the opposite sex without permission of your probation agent."

YOU GONNA GET PROBED!

Let's see.

Currently on probation-check
Steals car needing ride-check
Picks up gf and heads south-check

And he gets probation again?

Something wrong there.

farkucking nanny state.

I have a feeling that this has nothing to do with his girlfriend's age, even less to do with nanny-stating, and everything to do with his reason for the whole car-stealing business being "I was impressing a girl, hurr hurr."

That is, the judge's reasoning is "No girlfriends = No stolen cars."

If I'm right, that makes it a pretty solid ruling.

otterrr: RonEdwards: Is it just me or does this sound like a violation of something...

I got it... it is his civil rights!

Breaking the law = forfeiture of certain civil rights. You should know this.

yes, but after studying constitutional law... this is not one of them. Especially since his main crime was grand theft auto. Therefore this also falls under the banner of cruel and unusual punishment.

Knowledge is power!

/I PROMISE

I like my girlfriends like I like my scotch.

/12 years old and inserted directly into my rectum.

Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi: I like my girlfriends like I like my scotch.

/12 years old and inserted directly into my rectum.

as I choke on bagel sandwich in my office after trying to fight the uncontrollable laughter.

Fluorescent Testicle: Blah blah selfquote.

Additional: If I'm wrong and the judge's decision is based on either his girlfriend's age or nanny-stating, then I agree with everybody else and this is stupid. Just throwing out an alternate theory, here. The article was somewhat short on details.

I don't understand why they let him off so light.

Also, I don't understand the "opposite sex" verbage here. This ruling goes out of its way to favor a gay relationship. nttawtt, but still. why?

Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi: I like my girlfriends like I like my scotch.

/12 years old and inserted directly into my rectum.

And that is why your posts are bright green.

/I LOL'd.

otterrr: RonEdwards: Is it just me or does this sound like a violation of something...

I got it... it is his civil rights!

Breaking the law = forfeiture of certain civil rights. You should know this.

If being a jackass meant forfeiting air, you'd be blue in the face.

Define "dating".

Define "opposite sex".

historycat: Unenforceable and Unconstitutional.

Depending on how done, it's perfectly Constitutional.

"Jailtime or probation with conditions. Your pick"