That's pretty odd, since almost every other article I've seen him write he comes off as pretty liberal.

This article sounds like some sort of Andy Rooney/Glenn Beck hybrid.

Did anyone tell him that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of a Jew?

I don't this even begins to boarder on Poe's Law its just straight satire

Nonbelievers, please leave Christmas alone

I've just come from Cambridge, that beehive of brilliance, where nerds don't feel self-conscious: There's always someone nerdier nearby. If you are the World's Leading Authority on the mating habits of the jabberwock beetle of the Lesser Jujube Archipelago, you can take comfort in knowing that the pinch-faced drone next to you at Starbucks may be the W.L.A. on 17th-century Huguenot hymnody or a niche of quantum physics that is understood by nobody but himself.

People in Cambridge learn to be wary of brilliance, having seen geniuses in the throes of deep thought step into potholes and disappear. Such as the brilliant economist Lawrence Summers, whose presidency brought Harvard to the verge of disaster. He, against the advice of his lessers, invested Harvard's operating funds in the stock market and lost the bet. In the cold light of day, this was dumber than dirt, like putting the kids' lunch money on Valiant's Fancy to win in the 5th. And now the genius is in the White House, two short flights of stairs above the Oval Office. This does not make Cantabrigians feel better about our nation's economic future.

You can blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite. He preached here at the First Church of Cambridge, a Unitarian outfit (where I discovered that "Silent Night" has been cleverly rewritten to make it more about silence and night and not so much about God), and Emerson tossed off little bon mots that have been leading people astray ever since. "To be great is to be misunderstood," for example. This tiny gem of self-pity has given license to a million arrogant and unlovable people to imagine that their unpopularity somehow was proof of their greatness.

And all his hoo-ha about listening to the voice within and don't follow the path, make your own path and leave a trail and so forth, encouraged people who might've been excellent janitors to become bold and innovative economists who run a wealthy university into the ditch.

Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that's their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite "Silent Night." If you don't believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn "Silent Night" and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism, and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write "Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we'll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah"? No, we didn't.

Christmas is a Christian holiday - if you're not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don't mess with the Messiah.

Christmas does not need any improvements. It is a common, ordinary experience that resists brilliant innovation. Just make some gingerbread persons and light three candles and sing softly in dim light about the poor man gathering winter fu-u-el and the radiant beams and the holly and the ivy, and you've got it. Too many people work too hard to make Christmas perfect, find the perfect gifts, get a turkey that reaches 100 percent of potential. Perfection is a goal of brilliant people, and it is unnecessary where Christmas is concerned.

The most wonderful Christmas of my life was 1997, a quiet day with no gifts and no tree, waiting in a New York apartment for my daughter to be born. And the second most wonderful was one in the Norwegian Arctic, where it rained every day and the sun came up around 11 and set around 1, not that you ever actually saw the sun, and the food was abominable, boiled cod and watery potatoes, and the people were cold and resentful, and there was no brilliance whatsoever. And I had the flu. Why was I there? Good question. But every year it gladdens my heart to know that I will not be going to Norway for Christmas. A terrific investment. Mr. Summers should be so smart. For one week of misery, I get an annual joyfulness dividend of at least 25 percent. Merry Christmas, my dears.

Only one version is needed:

Stille Nacht

1. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Alles schläft; einsam wacht
Nur das traute hoch heilige Paar.
Holder Knab' im lockigen Haar,
|: Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh! :|

2. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Gottes Sohn, o wie lacht
Lieb' aus deinem göttlichen Mund,
Da uns schlägt die rettende Stund'.
|: Jesus in deiner Geburt! :|

3. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Die der Welt Heil gebracht,
Aus des Himmels goldenen Höhn,
Uns der Gnaden Fülle läßt sehn,
|: Jesum in Menschengestalt! :|

4. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Wo sich heut alle Macht
Väterlicher Liebe ergoß,
Und als Bruder huldvoll umschloß
|: Jesus die Völker der Welt! :|

5. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Lange schon uns bedacht,
Als der Herr vom Grimme befreit
In der Väter urgrauer Zeit
|: Aller Welt Schonung verhieß! :|

6. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht!
Hirten erst kundgemacht
Durch der Engel Alleluja,
Tönt es laut bei Ferne und Nah:
|: "Jesus der Retter ist da!" :|

The original, the best.

And shove your "O Christmas Tree" up your ass...it's "O Tannenbaum" dammit!

/i keed...really do prefer the originals, tho'

dletter: That's pretty odd, since almost every other article I've seen him write he comes off as pretty liberal.

There are liberals and there are liberals. There are kindly liberals, and then there are bitter, assholish liberals. Both claim righteousness because they supposedly have hearts and love everyone, but only the former are sort of genuine about it, while the latter are as big of Scrooges as any right-wing stereotype.

GratuityIncluded: I don't see anything unreasonable in what he said. I mean, come on, is he not allowed to say anything about or to Jews? What kind of world would it be then?

New York.

GratuityIncluded: I don't see anything unreasonable in what he said. I mean, come on, is he not allowed to say anything about or to Jews? What kind of world would it be then?

The problem is it sounds like he's offended by the songs he cited only because Jews wrote them.

/Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity, you twats

crimsin23: Q: What do "The Christmas Song", "White Christmas", "Let it Snow", "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer", and "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" have in common?

They're shiatty and annoying?


A: They were all written by Jews!

Ah. Well, they have that going for them. Which is nice.

Keillor isn't nearly as much of a radical liberal as people make him out to be. He's liberal, but he's also definitely Christian, and definitely loves the US.

And PHC is one of the best things there is in any medium of entertainment. I've got my tickets for the next show coming near us in May.

Watching him deliver The News from Lake Wobegon from memory is rather impressive.

Hell, I'm only 26 and I listen to PHC religiously.

Sid_6.7: Keillor isn't nearly as much of a radical liberal as people make him out to be. He's liberal, but he's also definitely Christian, and definitely loves the US.

And PHC is one of the best things there is in any medium of entertainment. I've got my tickets for the next show coming near us in May.

Watching him deliver The News from Lake Wobegon from memory is rather impressive.

Hell, I'm only 26 and I listen to PHC religiously.

Impressive. I weep for humanity.

GratuityIncluded: SnakeMan: GratuityIncluded: I don't see anything unreasonable in what he said. I mean, come on, is he not allowed to say anything about or to Jews? What kind of world would it be then?

The problem is it sounds like he's offended by the songs he cited only because Jews wrote them.

Why would Jews write songs about Christmas? You can say Christmas isn't a Christian holiday and call me a twat, but I simply choose not to see it the way you do. And that's all that matters.

So, are Jews writing the songs to make money or for some other reason? Why support them simply making money on us? Don't we have that choice in this country? Or is that choice illegal because it is a Jew and not, say, an Asian?


/ Maybe I could just support the song and what it means and how it makes me feel and lol

Whoa, sorry, I intended the twat comment for the "War on Christmas" types, not you. I don't know if you're one of those types, but since my comment was also attacking those who think Christmas is a Christian holiday, I was inadvertently insulting you. Believe me, I would have been more polite if I had known the people I was insulting included someone I was talking to. Kind of hypocritical of me, but there you go.

This isn't a matter of subjective opinion. Objectively speaking, Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity. Christ wasn't born in the winter. The holiday was originally a pagan one, and the Catholic church co-opted it. If you guys want to celebrate the birth of your Savior, be a little honest and celebrate it in the spring, and in return us atheists will change the name of the winter holiday. You can keep your altruistic, self-sacrificial, death worship holiday, and we'll keep our greedy, materialistic, money-worshiping holiday. Less commercialism in Christmas? Fark that. Christmas (or whatever we agree to call it from now on) should be commercial, that's the way I likes it.

Delawheredad: Keillor is really a bitter self-conscious man with an artificial personality. Occasionally, as in this interview that bitterness shines through.

I don't get his point While the lyrics to "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" was written by the Christian Charles Wesley, the tune is by the Jew Felix Mendelssohn. Certainly Keillor has no problem with that song.
"White Christmas" was written by Irving Berlin who was Jewish.

Yes some of the most annoying Christmas songs were written by Jews
so were some of the best. This is as stupid as saying that only women can write about women's issues or that only politicians can write about politics.

Keillor is a twit.

Only Keillor can call Keillor a twit. You Farkers should leave Keillor-bashing to the real Keillors.

RockIsDead: Well, most of the songs written by Christians for Jews are outlawed as hate speech.

Go away.

By the way, this rag missed the obvious satire. They were looking to be offended and guess what, they succeeded.

Sid_6.7: He's liberal, but he's also definitely Christian, and definitely loves the US.

Liberals don't love the U.S.?

coco ebert: Sid_6.7: He's liberal, but he's also definitely Christian, and definitely loves the US.

Liberals don't love the U.S.?

Course not, have you not been around Fark long?

/Kidding, I know you have.

Bloody William: xombie_a_go_go: I had a manager once who was a Unitarian Pentecost.

Unitarian Pentecost? Isn't that like being a Hasidic Lutheran?

RockIsDead: Well, most of the songs written by Christians for Jews are outlawed as hate speech.

Okay, I know I don't want to feed the troll, but... what?

Seriously, what? I have no idea where you're going. What songs were written by Christians for Jews? And which ones were outlawed for hate speech?

I honestly want to know, did you have some sort of thought process behind that statement, or was that some kind of weird, reflex, Sphinx-from-Mystery-Men rhetorical shuffling? "It is not the Jews who write the Christmas songs, it's the Christians who write the Jewish songs!"

Well, to be fair "All I Want for Christmas is some Zyklon B" IS banned in certain countries.

Bloody William: Wanted for questioning.

Also... um... I didn't hear what Keillor said, but considering his previous political statements and the general tone of pretty much everything he says... are we sure it wasn't a satirical statement taken far out of context?

It was.

Bloody William: Wanted for questioning.

Also... um... I didn't hear what Keillor said, but considering his previous political statements and the general tone of pretty much everything he says... are we sure it wasn't a satirical statement taken far out of context?

Clearly satire.

"Nonbelievers, please leave Christmas alone

I've just come from Cambridge, that beehive of brilliance, where nerds don't feel self-conscious: There's always someone nerdier nearby. If you are the World's Leading Authority on the mating habits of the jabberwock beetle of the Lesser Jujube Archipelago, you can take comfort in knowing that the pinch-faced drone next to you at Starbucks may be the W.L.A. on 17th-century Huguenot hymnody or a niche of quantum physics that is understood by nobody but himself.

People in Cambridge learn to be wary of brilliance, having seen geniuses in the throes of deep thought step into potholes and disappear. Such as the brilliant economist Lawrence Summers, whose presidency brought Harvard to the verge of disaster. He, against the advice of his lessers, invested Harvard's operating funds in the stock market and lost the bet. In the cold light of day, this was dumber than dirt, like putting the kids' lunch money on Valiant's Fancy to win in the 5th. And now the genius is in the White House, two short flights of stairs above the Oval Office. This does not make Cantabrigians feel better about our nation's economic future.

You can blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite. He preached here at the First Church of Cambridge, a Unitarian outfit (where I discovered that "Silent Night" has been cleverly rewritten to make it more about silence and night and not so much about God), and Emerson tossed off little bon mots that have been leading people astray ever since. "To be great is to be misunderstood," for example. This tiny gem of self-pity has given license to a million arrogant and unlovable people to imagine that their unpopularity somehow was proof of their greatness.

And all his hoo-ha about listening to the voice within and don't follow the path, make your own path and leave a trail and so forth, encouraged people who might've been excellent janitors to become bold and innovative economists who run a wealthy university into the ditch.

Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that's their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite "Silent Night." If you don't believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn "Silent Night" and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism, and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write "Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we'll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah"? No, we didn't.

Christmas is a Christian holiday - if you're not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don't mess with the Messiah.

Christmas does not need any improvements. It is a common, ordinary experience that resists brilliant innovation. Just make some gingerbread persons and light three candles and sing softly in dim light about the poor man gathering winter fu-u-el and the radiant beams and the holly and the ivy, and you've got it. Too many people work too hard to make Christmas perfect, find the perfect gifts, get a turkey that reaches 100 percent of potential. Perfection is a goal of brilliant people, and it is unnecessary where Christmas is concerned.

The most wonderful Christmas of my life was 1997, a quiet day with no gifts and no tree, waiting in a New York apartment for my daughter to be born. And the second most wonderful was one in the Norwegian Arctic, where it rained every day and the sun came up around 11 and set around 1, not that you ever actually saw the sun, and the food was abominable, boiled cod and watery potatoes, and the people were cold and resentful, and there was no brilliance whatsoever. And I had the flu. Why was I there? Good question. But every year it gladdens my heart to know that I will not be going to Norway for Christmas. A terrific investment. Mr. Summers should be so smart. For one week of misery, I get an annual joyfulness dividend of at least 25 percent. Merry Christmas, my dears."