Would Michael J. even know if he was in an earthquake?

Ugh...a commencement speech in book form. Farking lame.

ManhattanRedneck: Ugh...a commencement speech in book form. Farking lame.

Yes but it's Michael J Fox, so the lame and the awesome mix to make a mighty fine meh.

Hi, graduates. Please realise you've wasted 4 years of your life doing something I have never done. My royalties from my film and tv work earn more for me in a few months than a year in a typical graduates' salary.

Before it's too late, I suggest you all take up acting lessons and head off to Hollywood. It's the only way to go. Now go. Thanks for buying my book, dumbass.

I heard this book gets off to a shaky start but has an ending that'll leave you trembling.

Sadly the original version, written on an etch-a-sketch, is lost to time

NonSequiturl: I heard this book gets off to a shaky start but has an ending that'll leave you trembling.

So...almost exactly like sex with your mom?

/thank yo and good night!

I can't wait for this book. Knowing it's coming makes me quiver in anticipation. When I get to the bookstore, if anyone gets in my way when I'm parking, son, we'll rumble. Sure, it's cold outside. We'll shiver. Our teeth will chatter. But I'll flutter like a butterfly and jolt like a bee. I'll oscillate wildly and rattle the guy's teeth. When I swing, he'll think I set my fist to vibrate, it'll flourish so much. I'll give the one-two, and he'll wobble and then convulse. Afterward, I'll shimmy into the store and shake them down for my book.

See if I don't.

/With apologies to PN

In defense of Michael, his autobiography audio-book is actually pretty good. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this.

/though I did buy it on clearance

Oh, I get it! He has a degenerative neurological disorder! That's some top notch comedy, subby. You follow in the comedy God footsteps of all the other subbies that have rehashed this hackneyed joke over the years.

/Parkinsons and Dystonia are HILARIOUS
//Save your "Welcome To Fark" JPEG for the fatties

DeepDownHounds: Oh, I get it! He has a degenerative neurological disorder! That's some top notch comedy, subby. You follow in the comedy God footsteps of all the other subbies that have rehashed this hackneyed joke over the years.

/Parkinsons and Dystonia are HILARIOUS
//Save your "Welcome To Fark" JPEG for the fatties

No, Michael J Fox is one of the few people that Fark may make fun of, but we will all defend him to last keystroke if someone steps out of line.

Tread lightly in these threads, for the wrath of Fark awaits you.

DeepDownHounds: Oh, I get it! He has a degenerative neurological disorder! That's some top notch comedy, subby. You follow in the comedy God footsteps of all the other subbies that have rehashed this hackneyed joke over the years.

/Parkinsons and Dystonia are HILARIOUS
//Save your "Welcome To Fark" JPEG for the fatties

Humour is a great comfort for many people who suffer from varying debilitating diseases. Making a joke about it loosens people up and enables them to talk about it.

Probably not a good way to start a conversation though.

I heard Michael J Fox's inspiration was Shakespeare.

Every one of these headlines I see I think, "jees that is cruel...."


.....and then I giggle.

GungFu Quote 2009-12-19 08:58:34 AM
Hi, graduates. Please realise you've wasted 4 years of your life doing something I have never done. My royalties from my film and tv work earn more for me in a few months than a year in a typical graduates' salary.

Before it's too late, I suggest you all take up acting lessons and head off to Hollywood. It's the only way to go. Now go. Thanks for buying my book, dumbass.

And don't forget. Whenever possible, dump your home country and claim American citizenship. Nothing endears you more to the folks you've left behind.

//not a farking fan.
///I'm just bitter over that whole "kicking your ancestors out of Pennsylvania because they still support the crown" thing. Gimme my reparations you bastards.

MJF and Dolly Parton are the only celebrities I can think of that 100% of the population adores.

Rush Limbaugh being the only exception.

FirstNationalBastard: T.M.S.: MJF and Dolly Parton are the only celebrities I can think of that 100% of the population adores.

Rush Limbaugh being the only exception.

If Dolly had the shakes like MJF, I think she'd reach 200% adoration.

Well said! Bravo!

FirstNationalBastard: T.M.S.: MJF and Dolly Parton are the only celebrities I can think of that 100% of the population adores.

Rush Limbaugh being the only exception.

If Dolly had the shakes like MJF, I think she'd reach 200% adoration.

/big, floppy titties.

That and she would have two black eyes.

feckingmorons: Why is a high school drop out giving graduates advice?

They didn't learn the first time.

The book - which will be published on April 13, 2010 - will offer guidance and encouragement to graduates. "Though he didn't finish high school, Fox values both formal and informal education,"

I am not shaken that a high school dropout wrote ghostwrote about being educated, hahahahahahaa, like I said, I am not shakkkken!

Has anyone mentioned that he shakes yet?
Perhaps that could be used in a context that is humorous?
For example: The reviews on this book seem shaky... Just wondering.

Britney Spear's Speculum don't remember Zach Braff's scenes in "Jacob's Ladder"

DeepDownHounds: Oh, I get it! He has a degenerative neurological disorder!

Farkers have their own opinions on Michael J. Fox. But with the exception of Lou Gehrig, there's a perception in the media that a malady doesn't exist until a celebrity gets it-then they have the best access to care that you can imagine while lecturing the rest of us. It's strange that the system we have in our multi-ethnic society we have in the U.S. provides for the best pharma & surgical research & development in the world, to the benefit of all mankind. But a socialized plan would wipe all that out-so when a Canadian star like Michael J Fox biatches out the U.S. Congress that they're not putting enough R&D into his disease, the average Farker scratches their head-he is arguably a lot better off than an average high school drop-out back home lying on a gurney in Vancouver General falling prey to some Provincial Bio-Ethicist. So as far as problems go, between Victor Malafronte & a degenerative neurological disorder most Farkers will take the annoying Italian pap in New York;
Link (new window)

Drpepperburp: Has anyone mentioned that he shakes yet?
Perhaps that could be used in a context that is humorous?
For example: The reviews on this book seem shaky... Just wondering.

Heck, even HE jokes about it!

/Lighten up, Debbie Downers

Lucky Man was a very good book. He is very humble & brave.

Ponzholio: I wonder if it has a chapter titled 'If you get a script for a movie where you play a hot shot doctor who gets stuck in a small town after an auto accident and are an outsider looking in but after awhile fall in love with the towns only hottie and become a better person for it later in the movie. You should really pass on it.'

I was during the shooting of that movie he found out he had Parkinson's.

Vash's Apprentice: Drpepperburp: Has anyone mentioned that he shakes yet?
Perhaps that could be used in a context that is humorous?
For example: The reviews on this book seem shaky... Just wondering.

Heck, even HE jokes about it!

/Lighten up, Debbie Downers

Oh! now we are going to make fun of Debbie Downer and her issues with depression. You FARKers are heartless.

mcreadyblue: Ponzholio: I wonder if it has a chapter titled 'If you get a script for a movie where you play a hot shot doctor who gets stuck in a small town after an auto accident and are an outsider looking in but after awhile fall in love with the towns only hottie and become a better person for it later in the movie. You should really pass on it.'

I was during the shooting of that movie he found out he had Parkinson's.

All he needed to cure that Parkinson's was a Coke. He just didin't listen.

feckingmorons: Why is a high school drop out giving graduates advice?

He's been to the future, you nincompoop!


/Really? That's how you spell nincompoop?

Wow so a guy who made something of himself and is happily married wants to give advice to people but because he didn't finish high school is unqualified.

Yeah what a complete failure this guy is.

indarwinsshadow: //not a farking fan.
///I'm just bitter over that whole "kicking your ancestors out of Pennsylvania because they still support the crown" thing. Gimme my reparations you bastards.

So... you're Canadian, but you'd rather be living in Pennsylvania?

Have you ever BEEN to Pennsylvania?

Does the phrase "there but for the grace of God" mean anything to you?

My grandmother had and died from Parkinsons. Please make all the shaking jokes you want RE: MJF. Humor is good for the soul. God knows my Grandma laughed about it.

I'm shaking with excitement!!1!Q1!!`

My wife suffers from Dystonia (new window), as does MJF, and calls herself Shakey Amy just like he calls himself Shakey Dad to his kids. Even our advocacy website is called shakeyamy.org, so I know all about using laughter and jokes in the face of a debilitating neurological disorder. It's very necessary to inject humor in a humorless situation, we live it every day and it's how we spread awareness and how we conduct ourselves in our advocacy endeavors.

But...there's a big difference between using humor to cope with the disease and being approachable about it, and just being mean spirited about it. Laughing WITH a sufferer is cool, laughing AT a sufferer is lame. A great majority of the comments in the MJF threads are of the latter category.

I'm not offended at all. I just think it's a tired-ass joke that isn't funny anymore. It's been relegated to a cruel knock-knock joke at this point. We admire MJF a great deal. The pic that ASK posted is one reason why. But HE can say she's shakey because he HAS a movement disorder and that's his coping mechanism. But if you don't know much about Parkinson's or don't have it, it takes on a new meaning when you make fun of it. White people can't make n*gger jokes and say they're laughing WITH a black person, can they?

DeepDownHounds: My wife suffers from Dystonia (new window), as does MJF, and calls herself Shakey Amy just like he calls himself Shakey Dad to his kids. Even our advocacy website is called shakeyamy.org, so I know all about using laughter and jokes in the face of a debilitating neurological disorder. It's very necessary to inject humor in a humorless situation, we live it every day and it's how we spread awareness and how we conduct ourselves in our advocacy endeavors.

But...there's a big difference between using humor to cope with the disease and being approachable about it, and just being mean spirited about it. Laughing WITH a sufferer is cool, laughing AT a sufferer is lame. A great majority of the comments in the MJF threads are of the latter category.

I'm not offended at all. I just think it's a tired-ass joke that isn't funny anymore. It's been relegated to a cruel knock-knock joke at this point. We admire MJF a great deal. The pic that ASK posted is one reason why. But HE can say she's shakey because he HAS a movement disorder and that's his coping mechanism. But if you don't know much about Parkinson's or don't have it, it takes on a new meaning when you make fun of it. White people can't make n*gger jokes and say they're laughing WITH a black person, can they?

I treasure MJF; Honestly. I like his work, I think he's pretty groovy, and I have nothing against him. Any "shake" joke I make is not to insult him, and I think that's pretty obvious.

But the thing is: He's famous. Famous people are fair game, no matter what their problem. Christopher Reeve? Tons of funny jokes about him. Heath Ledger? Get in line. River Phoenix? Yep, some were pretty funny. Even the astronauts on Challenger were fair game, because they were public personalities and not private individuals.

Make fun of the guy who works at the grocery store because he's got a disease? Poor form. Make fun of a celebrity because they've got a disease? Completely fair.

Celebrities sign up for this. They have to be able to take being the punchline of a joke in exchange for being the headline on a marquee.

White people can't make n*gger jokes and say they're laughing WITH a black person UNLESS the white person and black person are both famous. In that case, it's fine. See any Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle, or Eddie Murphy movie for reference.

First rule of comedy: EVERYTHING is funny, given the right context.

Of course nobody wishes ill on MJF. We all love the guy. But he's famous, he shakes. Any comedian will pluck the low-hanging fruit if it's *right there* waiting to be plucked.

I'm sorry, but this "I can make fun of myself, but you can't make fun of me" thing is dumb. If people want to make jokes about my gimpy knee or big nose, they're welcome to it. I'll even help them with the routine, because after years of being who I am, I understand that a joke is still a sign of endearment, twisted though that may be.

Now, if we wanted to be mean-spirited, we'd not make jokes-- We'd just say what Rush Limbaugh said, and leave it at that.

Learn the difference and your life will be much less stressful.

Well said, ZeroCorpse. You make a valid point.