Too bad they couldn't be mooved to safety.

Accidental BBQ is now the name of Dave Berry's next band

Okay, which one of you lactose intolerant bastards drove by a dairy farm and told the cows to DIAF?

Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, they grow to die
They die to be eat at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the stakes were so high
Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die...
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dump

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "Enough is Enough!
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows out gunned

The order was given, turn cows to whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns
(new window)

/Oblig

Nothing terribly humorous about your entire herd going up in smoke, it's got to be sheer terror for the livestock. Cleanup is a real mess - what isn't totally crispy will rot and has to be removed and buried, amid the burnt hay, barn timbers, milk pipelines and general crap that's in most barns.

The farmer probably has insurance although the farm price of milk is at or near 40 year lows (actual dollar price, not adjusted for inflation) so he may not have had the cash around to meet the last premium. But since dairy farmers are losing money on every cow, at least he has stopped the losses.

/Lousy time to be a diary farmer
//Even lousier for Farmer Keener

I hope to complete the trifecta its people being burned! Preferably stupod rural white trash, stupid third worlders or terrorists, or ghetto gang members/dealers addicts. ::crosses fingers::

Sorry. I had to go back to the last barn fire kills dairy cow thread for both of those.

Excen: medius: I hope to complete the trifecta its people being burned! Preferably stupod rural white trash, stupid third worlders or terrorists, or ghetto gang members/dealers addicts. ::crosses fingers::

One good exploding-Mexican-meth-lab thread and we have the front page AND article trifecta.

/I believe that's what's called a flawless victory

FINISH HIM

MBooda: They CAN'T be morons!

we're special in our own special way

/also, i was sponsored
//i'm always sponsored

CaesarSneezy: A hedgehog was also killed.



R.I.P Ron Jeremy