If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(News.com.au)   Australian hottie swimmer Stephanie Rice wants a new boyfriend for Christmas. Any Farkers wanna help her out? (with pic)   (themercury.com.au) divider line 317
    More: Spiffy, Stephanie Rice, Beijing Olympics, Australians, Miss Universe Australia Rachel Finch, management team, boyfriends, full name, Christmas Is  
•       •       •

56349 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2009 at 2:29 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



317 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-12-18 10:10:05 AM
kurfu: Remember. my brothers... No matter how good she looks, or how great she farks, somewhere some poor guy is fed with her shyte.

Read that over. If some guy is eating her shyte, her farking must be the best on the planet and she must be the most beautiful woman EVER.

Or maybe you forgot the word "up".
 
2009-12-18 10:12:26 AM
Krymson Tyde: NightOwl2255: I would put my penis in her vagina.

/Am I'm doing this meme correctly?

Your interpretation is serviceable. If you have time constraints you may shorten it to read "I would penis her vagina" or more succintly "I would penis her."


We'll also accept "I'd pee in her butt"
 
2009-12-18 10:12:46 AM
I'm not going to lose any sleep over her chances of finding a new boyfriend.

Finding a GOOD boyfriend, well, she's a bit handicapped in that arena. She'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her prince.
 
2009-12-18 10:13:25 AM
sboyle1020: threedingers: cowsspinach: threedingers: Fit women rock.

She can have thunder thighs and A-cups, if she's really fit and has a face anywhere on the pretty side of average she'll be attractive.

This is what a lot of women don't realize. They think they have to look like a barbie doll to get a guy but in reality they just need to stay fit and have an average face then they can get guys.

It's even simpler for guys. A guy can have a face like a chicken's bum, but if he's fit and dresses well (by women's standards) he will be attractive.

Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.


Personality always works with me. IF the guy is not a tool and is funny and actually not a creep I'll give him a chance.

Beer guts? Nah, I can over look that easy if the guy isn't a douchebag. I think it's easier for an "average looking guy" to get a hot chick because most women want the looks to be about them...not the guy.

I once heard a quote...this is how women think "Awwww he sent me flowers, so what he has a gut?! He sent me flowers! That's the sweetest thing ever"



/yup, thats how some women think
 
2009-12-18 10:18:05 AM
cowsspinach: sboyle1020: threedingers: cowsspinach: threedingers: Fit women rock.

She can have thunder thighs and A-cups, if she's really fit and has a face anywhere on the pretty side of average she'll be attractive.

This is what a lot of women don't realize. They think they have to look like a barbie doll to get a guy but in reality they just need to stay fit and have an average face then they can get guys.

It's even simpler for guys. A guy can have a face like a chicken's bum, but if he's fit and dresses well (by women's standards) he will be attractive.

Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.

Personality always works with me. IF the guy is not a tool and is funny and actually not a creep I'll give him a chance.

Beer guts? Nah, I can over look that easy if the guy isn't a douchebag. I think it's easier for an "average looking guy" to get a hot chick because most women want the looks to be about them...not the guy.

I once heard a quote...this is how women think "Awwww he sent me flowers, so what he has a gut?! He sent me flowers! That's the sweetest thing ever"



/yup, thats how some women think


So basically - "Will bone for FTD"?
 
2009-12-18 10:19:51 AM
Where is that pic "Reality: because someone, somewhere is sick of her shiat"
 
2009-12-18 10:20:10 AM
Scoop84: She wouldn't be interested in an old dude like me, but I will masturbate to he pictures.
/realist



You know how I know you're gay?

/NTTAWWT
 
2009-12-18 10:20:47 AM
cowsspinach: Personality always works with me. IF the guy is not a tool and is funny and actually not a creep I'll give him a chance.

Beer guts? Nah, I can over look that easy if the guy isn't a douchebag. I think it's easier for an "average looking guy" to get a hot chick because most women want the looks to be about them...not the guy.

I once heard a quote...this is how women think "Awwww he sent me flowers, so what he has a gut?! He sent me flowers! That's the sweetest thing ever"



/yup, thats how some women think


Then I could pee in her butt?

/Some farker told me that's the proper usage.
 
2009-12-18 10:22:04 AM
Oh hells yes I would.
 
2009-12-18 10:23:30 AM
She is a talented swimmer, but, I'm trying to figure out how. All Olympic caliber women swimmers I've ever met/swam with have had built shoulders. I'm curious as to what her secret really is. Theses could just photos because they want to make her look more waif than she really is. Or, she's built like me and is a genetic freak when it comes to swimming. Super skinny with power to boot.

Leave her alone photo monkeys, women swimmers are hot all by themselves.

/13 years of competitive swimming while weighing 90-120 lbs and topping out at 5'10".
//Why yes, the breaststroke was my best/favorite event.
 
2009-12-18 10:23:57 AM
sboyle1020: Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.

Money makes an ugly guy much more attractive. Or so I've heard... A woman can basically be breathing and somebody will want her, the breathing might not even be necessary. Ugly guys - well, we spend a lot of time home with our dogs. We're natural pack animals. Tried one of those internet dating sites but they removed my picture by popular request. I found the secret to satisfying women, I leave the room. Tried to pick up a crack whore, but she had "standards".
 
2009-12-18 10:25:07 AM
I think she is a very attractive woman.
 
2009-12-18 10:25:55 AM
IdBeCrazyIf: Krymson Tyde: NightOwl2255: I would put my penis in her vagina.

/Am I'm doing this meme correctly?

Your interpretation is serviceable. If you have time constraints you may shorten it to read "I would penis her vagina" or more succintly "I would penis her."

We'll also accept "I'd pee in her butt"


You are correct, sir.
 
2009-12-18 10:26:39 AM
cowsspinach: sboyle1020: threedingers: cowsspinach: threedingers: Fit women rock.

She can have thunder thighs and A-cups, if she's really fit and has a face anywhere on the pretty side of average she'll be attractive.

This is what a lot of women don't realize. They think they have to look like a barbie doll to get a guy but in reality they just need to stay fit and have an average face then they can get guys.

It's even simpler for guys. A guy can have a face like a chicken's bum, but if he's fit and dresses well (by women's standards) he will be attractive.

Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.

Personality always works with me. IF the guy is not a tool and is funny and actually not a creep I'll give him a chance.

Beer guts? Nah, I can over look that easy if the guy isn't a douchebag. I think it's easier for an "average looking guy" to get a hot chick because most women want the looks to be about them...not the guy.

I once heard a quote...this is how women think "Awwww he sent me flowers, so what he has a gut?! He sent me flowers! That's the sweetest thing ever"



/yup, thats how some women think


Very true, I've learned that a good sense of humor coupled with not being a douche really does go a long way. Even though it's so cliche, it's true. It doesn't hurt that I'm not bad to look at :) ...at least that's what my mom tells me each morning when she's packing my lunch.
 
2009-12-18 10:27:15 AM
I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
 
2009-12-18 10:27:45 AM
NightOwl2255: elmock: I got to the party too late to get this. But I've seen it around. What is the deal with big smile, home school girl?

Some farker was bragging about his perfect wife and how she hung the moon, and was even home schooled. And he made the mistake of posting her pic.

Yeah, thats what I got from the context clues.
Thanks for the back story
 
2009-12-18 10:28:19 AM
mytdawg: sboyle1020: Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.

Money makes an ugly guy much more attractive. Or so I've heard... A woman can basically be breathing and somebody will want her, the breathing might not even be necessary. Ugly guys - well, we spend a lot of time home with our dogs. We're natural pack animals. Tried one of those internet dating sites but they removed my picture by popular request. I found the secret to satisfying women, I leave the room. Tried to pick up a crack whore, but she had "standards".


What mytdawg might look like:

sturdyroots.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-12-18 10:29:06 AM
Tyrone Slothrop: I think she is a very attractive woman.

Thanks Mr. Romero.
 
2009-12-18 10:30:21 AM
NightOwl2255: Then I could pee in her butt?

/Some farker told me that's the proper usage.


Well she is a swimmer, I'd assume water sports were a given
 
2009-12-18 10:30:48 AM
Nightsweat: Daroc: Nightsweat: YEah, after Michael Phelps, y'all have a chance.

Michael Phelps is the goofiest looking MFer on the planet. No girl would want him for any reason other than fame or money.

Yeah, but look at him from the neck down. Dude is ripped.


How does one explain Paulina and Ric Ocasek? Dude certainly isn't ripped and he married (and is still with) one of the most beautiful women on the planet.
 
2009-12-18 10:32:18 AM
Savage Belief: mytdawg: sboyle1020: Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.

Money makes an ugly guy much more attractive. Or so I've heard... A woman can basically be breathing and somebody will want her, the breathing might not even be necessary. Ugly guys - well, we spend a lot of time home with our dogs. We're natural pack animals. Tried one of those internet dating sites but they removed my picture by popular request. I found the secret to satisfying women, I leave the room. Tried to pick up a crack whore, but she had "standards".

What mytdawg might look like:


No respect, I tells ya, no respect at all!
 
2009-12-18 10:33:32 AM
Savage Belief: What mytdawg might look like:

I found a wallet on the sidewalk, had a picture of my wife and kids in it. RIP Rodney, he was a funny old dude.
 
2009-12-18 10:34:44 AM
i2.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-18 10:36:07 AM
Hey, did anybody make a breast stroke joke yet?
 
2009-12-18 10:37:06 AM
trelane99: No thanks. I'm keeping my 5' tall 18 year old D cup kiwi. True story that.

/You don't have one
//Not sharing.
///only thing bigger than the D cup is her IQ


Wow, what's it like to have a real, live girlfriend? Man, 18-year-old girls are the best. No insecurities, no drama, no BS.

Man u r living the life! Thanks for coming to fark.com to let us all know!
 
2009-12-18 10:38:30 AM
Yeah, those photos just suck. Here she is in all her swimmer glory.

www.maratechnology.net

/Hot like she is.
//Yes. someone, somewhere is tried of her shiat, but it's not me.
 
2009-12-18 10:39:13 AM
Anyone who spends 4 hours a day huffing chlorine fumes is bound to have a few screws loose..... in other words: Avoid Dating Swimmers.
 
2009-12-18 10:41:52 AM
IM DEEPLY IN DEBT AND ONLY HAVE ONE TESTICLE. HOW BOUT IT BABY?
 
2009-12-18 10:43:23 AM
IdBeCrazyIf: NightOwl2255: Then I could pee in her butt?

/Some farker told me that's the proper usage.

Well she is a swimmer, I'd assume water sports were a given


Check your yahoo mail. You've got mail.
 
2009-12-18 10:43:48 AM
She has a nice body, obviously. She can look kinda cute. But she's definitely not my type, and definitely not a ravishing beauty. I've done much better in my day.
i337.photobucket.com

i337.photobucket.com

i337.photobucket.com

i337.photobucket.com
Oh yeah, she's GORGEOUS!
 
2009-12-18 10:44:17 AM
Crunch61: What happened to the last guy?
A dingo ate him.

/Watersports
 
2009-12-18 10:44:36 AM
Well I've pretty much been in love with her since the Olympics, so yeah, I could probably help her out.
 
2009-12-18 10:45:44 AM
Super hawt. Looks like we've got some Studman69s around here.
 
2009-12-18 10:45:50 AM
keypusher: trelane99: Soupysales: AbbeySomeone: Sergeant Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gang Bang: trelane99: No thanks. I'm keeping my 5' tall 18 year old D cup kiwi. True story that.

/You don't have one
//Not sharing.

trelane99: No thanks. I'm keeping my 5' tall 18 year old D cup kiwi. True story that.

/You don't have one
//Not sharing.
///only thing bigger than the D cup is her IQ


What are you implying? Seems like there's something you want to say, but I just can't quite put my finger in on her it.

I am annoyed with his vagueness as well.
I wonder if she's got a nice internet rack.

Hmmm, but no weight listed. It really is a shame that she has the D cups because you know the belly sticks out farther than the boobs, and with knobs like those, that means she is only going in the pool after krill.

Dammit you saw through my lies so transparently! She's ~45kg and was a ballerina until she broke her sternum. (no, really I didn't know it was possible either.)

99 pounds and a D cup? Not unless she's been amputated below the boobs.


Sorry yeah, I keep her bottom half in my closet for when the wife is out of town.
 
2009-12-18 10:47:29 AM
Prof. Frink: Sorry yeah, I keep her bottom half in my closet for when the wife is out of town.

look, it's simple.

pics or it didn't happen.
 
2009-12-18 10:47:45 AM
NightOwl2255: elmock: I got to the party too late to get this. But I've seen it around. What is the deal with big smile, home school girl?

Some farker was bragging about his perfect wife and how she hung the moon, and was even home schooled. And he made the mistake of posting her pic.


It's basically a reaffirmation that you should never, ever, post a picture of your girlfriend or sister in any bragging manner.
 
2009-12-18 10:52:51 AM
Celerian:
SELECT ID, Letter
FROM Alphabet
WHERE Letter = 'E'

[ID | Letter]
[5 | E ]


Looks like her IQ is 5.

Funny, to me it looks like this:

->
->

You forgot your delimiter, son!
/kids these days
 
2009-12-18 10:52:52 AM
nuclear_asshat: It's basically a reaffirmation that you should never, ever, post a picture of your girlfriend or sister in any bragging manner.

Integra girl...
 
2009-12-18 10:54:21 AM
i141.photobucket.com
 
2009-12-18 10:57:20 AM
jbrooks544: She has a nice body, obviously. She can look kinda cute. But she's definitely not my type, and definitely not a ravishing beauty. I've done much better in my day.

Oh yeah, she's GORGEOUS!


Now wonder she's good swimmer. Her nose is a damn snorkel.
 
2009-12-18 11:07:45 AM
Fooshards: Celerian:
SELECT ID, Letter
FROM Alphabet
WHERE Letter = 'E'

[ID | Letter]
[5 | E ]


Looks like her IQ is 5.
Funny, to me it looks like this:

->
->

You forgot your delimiter, son!
/kids these days


Funny, I didn't forget anything. You must be mistaken, as that is valid SQL.

Of course, you COULD try and correct a DBA...
 
2009-12-18 11:10:23 AM
She wants a new boyfriend for Christmas, so that means there's plenty of time left. Australian Christmas is sometime in early June, right?
 
2009-12-18 11:10:41 AM
I'd hit it bareback. Who am I kidding? I just want to see her naked then would need a few seconds to myself.
 
2009-12-18 11:19:14 AM
ObscureNameHere:

Now wonder she's good swimmer. Her nose is a damn snorkel.


I was thinking more of a keel.
 
2009-12-18 11:19:44 AM
http://sc.tri-bit.com/images/6/60/grahics-shiat.jpg
 
2009-12-18 11:20:39 AM
NSFW? Link (new window)
Holy HTML Fail!
 
2009-12-18 11:23:54 AM
jbrooks544: She has a nice body, obviously. She can look kinda cute. But she's definitely not my type, and definitely not a ravishing beauty. I've done much better in my day.

Oh yeah, she's GORGEOUS!


Yeah she needs the 'Bleach Blonde Bimbo' conversion plastic surgery special;

Generic nose job (her's has too much character).

Endless tanning followed by chemical peels and botox will take care of those unsightly sweat glands.

Fake Almond eye special.

Swell up those lips with a few ounces of silicone.

Pull out the molars for those ever-so-sexy skeletor protruding cheekbones.

Pluck out those unsightly human looking eyebrows and draw something presentable with marker.

Blue contacts (green if you are daring) - Brown eyes are for poor people.

Heavy hair bleaching until a proper shade of blonde.

Then she should look just like every other 'attractive' woman instead of some common trash.
 
2009-12-18 11:25:49 AM
"Everyone's always 'Steph, you need a boyfriend' and I'm like 'I know, but apparently I have four'," she said. "Believe me, one would be just perfect."

Vacuous bint.
 
2009-12-18 11:26:05 AM
I have a friend who has double d's and took ballet for 15 years. She is one of the most beautiful woman I have ever met... so it is possible - just rare.
 
2009-12-18 11:27:36 AM
mytdawg: sboyle1020: Eh, I'd say the opposite. If you are good looking but on the portly side or have a gut, you'll still get girls. If you're just ugly to begin with I don't think a 6pack will help.

Money makes an ugly guy much more attractive. Or so I've heard... A woman can basically be breathing and somebody will want her, the breathing might not even be necessary. Ugly guys - well, we spend a lot of time home with our dogs. We're natural pack animals. Tried one of those internet dating sites but they removed my picture by popular request. I found the secret to satisfying women, I leave the room. Tried to pick up a crack whore, but she had "standards".


Are you Rodney Dangerfield?
 
Displayed 50 of 317 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report