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(ABC)   Santa's a bad role model, because he's a pipe-smoking fattie who makes minorities toil for no pay in a factory located in a harsh environment in order to pass out gifts based on his own subjective value judgements   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 105
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5502 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2009 at 10:48 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-17 10:37:37 AM
Santa could kick Jesus's ass
 
2009-12-17 10:42:56 AM
He's also a chubby chaser.
 
2009-12-17 10:44:02 AM
Diogenes: He's also a chubby chaser.

I hear he watches elf pr0n too.
 
2009-12-17 10:49:03 AM
i149.photobucket.com
Ho Ho Ho!
Santa's got a fatty right here that you PC douche-bags can smoke!
Ho Ho Ho!
 
2009-12-17 10:49:38 AM
How it should be too damnit. Where is the America I loved?
 
2009-12-17 10:49:44 AM
How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?
 
2009-12-17 10:49:58 AM
He's been known to do quickies under the tree.
 
2009-12-17 10:50:49 AM
Lampmonster: How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?

We'll he'll have his pick from the Mexicans, N366ers, or Chinese.

But he damn sure won't take the Irish
 
2009-12-17 10:51:09 AM
Are the Three Wise men any better role models, then?.
 
2009-12-17 10:51:47 AM
small children have a reason to fear an elderly adult, not related to them, who spies on them all the time, and can get into their house even if all the doors and windows are locked.

Pretty creepy if you ask me.
 
2009-12-17 10:52:08 AM
Lampmonster: How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?

Ever time the elves strike, Santa brings in the trolls as scabs and busts the union.
 
2009-12-17 10:52:09 AM
IdBeCrazyIf: Lampmonster: How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?

We'll he'll have his pick from the Mexicans, N366ers, or Chinese.

But he damn sure won't take the Irish


He can outsource to Pakistan at $.20/hour.
 
2009-12-17 10:53:10 AM
It's time to outsource him.

img3.imageshack.us
 
2009-12-17 10:53:24 AM
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

A: Santa stops after three ho's.
 
2009-12-17 10:53:29 AM
He also loves having kids sit on his lap all day.

OlafTheBent: Santa could kick Jesus's ass

Santa would have to get off his fat ass first, the strain of which would cause his heart to explode.
 
2009-12-17 10:53:52 AM
this again?
 
2009-12-17 10:54:02 AM
Jesus enslaved the Dinosaurs
 
2009-12-17 10:54:19 AM
I agree. The Krampus is a much better holiday icon.
 
2009-12-17 10:54:23 AM
Hey people, he's not real.

/Just thought you should know.
 
2009-12-17 10:54:25 AM
All that Coca-Cola he drinks is probably doing a real number on the enamel of his teeth.
 
2009-12-17 10:54:29 AM
So, Santa is one of those "fat cats" I hear the politicians biatching about on the tube.
 
2009-12-17 10:54:36 AM
madgordy: small children have a reason to fear an elderly adult, not related to them, who spies on them all the time, and can get into their house even if all the doors and windows are locked.

Jesus?
 
2009-12-17 10:55:30 AM
This trinity's going to war! (new window)

Coolio + Mark Hamill = Awesome
 
2009-12-17 10:55:36 AM
Yeah, but Santa will always be better than Jesus simply because he doesn't have "followers" exploiting his name to further their own bigotry and biases.

/Go Team Santa
 
2009-12-17 10:55:55 AM
"Rudolph I need you tonight"

Anyone else go to Rifftrax Live?
 
2009-12-17 10:56:16 AM
NittLion78: It's time to outsource him.

YOU'VE ALL BEEN VERY NAUGHTY THIS YEAR!!!
 
2009-12-17 10:56:56 AM
And the Easter Bunny too. The guy obviously runs some sort of chicken abortion clinic and hides all the unborn fetuses in your kids' baskets. WTF?
 
2009-12-17 10:56:56 AM
www.indiescene.net

Bug Santa is my role model!
 
2009-12-17 10:57:25 AM
Hey, Santa's not so bad.

He was a good sport when he had to take a picture with my kids' pet rats last weekend.

img412.imageshack.us

/yes, the two in his left hand did pull down his beard
//and peed on him
 
2009-12-17 10:57:45 AM
i326.photobucket.com

Meh - here's what they do in Belgium ... Saint Nicholas with Black Peter. How PC's that?
 
2009-12-17 11:00:05 AM
Shakespeare's Monkey: Bug Santa is my role model!

Best Santa ever
 
2009-12-17 11:00:38 AM
Blink: Yeah, but Santa will always be better than Jesus simply because he doesn't have "followers" exploiting his name to further their own bigotry and biases.

/Go Team Santa



I'm on board!
 
2009-12-17 11:01:11 AM
Christmas is the one day of the year where parents are happy that some old guy snook into their house, wanders into their kids bedroom and empties his sack in one of the childs socks.
 
2009-12-17 11:01:27 AM
IdBeCrazyIf: Lampmonster: How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?

We'll he'll have his pick from the Mexicans, N366ers, or Chinese.


Racism: The pinnacle of insecurity. You are so exceedingly insecure with yourself you attack and demean others for being different.
 
2009-12-17 11:02:19 AM
Chthonic Echoes: I agree. The Krampus is a much better holiday icon.

Came for the Krampus references. Yadda yadda yadda

Who thinks of Santa a a role model anyway? How about the tooth fairy? That's a GREAT role model.
 
2009-12-17 11:02:31 AM
Public health expert Nathan Grills of Monash University in Australia needs to seriously STFU.

Grills said he donned a Santa suit himself - and deemed the experience a public health nightmare. "I was kissed and hugged by snotty-nosed kids at each performance and was never offered alcohol swabs to wipe my rosy cheeks between clients," he wrote.

Seriously? Is that what this is all about? You had a shiatty job once upon a time that you didn't like, and now you're plotting your revenge by publishing some paper that you hope is going to do financial damage to your former employer, and maybe even the related industry? All at the cost of ruining kids Christmas?

Fark you, Nathan. For once screaming brats will work out as their germaphobic parents have to give in to their demands to sit on Santa's lap and continue the Christmas tradition.

This makes me wonder if everyone whose ever tried to lead a parade against things they perceived as being "bad" for us like movie popcorn, fast food, gasoline-powered engines, or anything else the world gets enjoyment out of aren't just similarly seeking revenge for a bad seasonal job they had as ungrateful teenagers in the associated industries.
 
2009-12-17 11:03:31 AM
sugarrushjunkie: Christmas is the one day of the year where parents are happy that some old guy snook into their house, wanders into their kids bedroom and empties his sack in one of the childs socks.

I'm uncomfortable with the word snook.
 
2009-12-17 11:04:32 AM
What's wrong with smoking a pipe?

//smokes a pipe.
 
2009-12-17 11:05:41 AM
McNip: What's wrong with smoking a pipe?

//smokes a pipe.


you wanna elaborate on what kinda pipe your talking about there?
 
2009-12-17 11:06:08 AM
Those strike me as reasons he's a good role model, but okay.
 
2009-12-17 11:06:20 AM
Eleves are white, therefore not a minority.
 
2009-12-17 11:06:26 AM
The Pause of Mr. Claus
words and music by Arlo Guthrie

This next song we're going to dedicate to a great American
organization. Tonight I'd like to dedicate this to our boys
in the FBI.

Well, wait a minute. It's hard to be an FBI man. I mean, first
of all, being an FBI man, you have to be over 40 years old.
And the reason is that it takes at least 25 years with the
organization to be that much of a bastard. It's true. You just
can't join, you know. It needs an atmosphere where your
natural bastardness can grow and develop and take a
meaningful shape in today's complex society.

But that's not why I want to dedicate the song to the FBI. I
mean, the job that they have to do is a drag. I mean, they have
to follow people around, you know. That's part of their job.
Follow me around.

I'm out on the highway and I'm drivin' down the road and I
run out of gasoline. I pull over to the side of the road. They
gotta pull over too - make believe that they ran out, you
know.

I go to get some gasoline. They have to figure out whether
they should stick with the car or follow me. Suppose I don't
come back and they're stayin' with the car.

Or if I fly on the airplanes, I could fly half fare because I'm 12
to 22. And they gotta pay the full fare. But the thing is that
when you pay the full fare, you have to get on the airplane
first, so that they know how many seats are left over for the
half fare kids. Right? And sometimes there aren't any seats
left over, and sometimes there are, but that doesn't mean that
you have to go.

Suppose that he gets on and fills up the last seat, so you can't
get on. Then he gets off then you can get on. What's he gonna
do?

Well, it's a drag for him. But that's not why I want to dedicate
the song to the FBI.

During these hard days and hard weeks, everybody always
has it bad once in a while. You know, you have a bad time of
it, and you always have a friend who says "Hey man, you
ain't got it that bad. Look at that guy." And you at that
guy, and he's got it worse than you. And it makes you feel
better that there's somebody that's got it worse than you.

But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last
guy. Nobody's got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the
whole world. That guy...he's so alone in the world that he
doesn't even have a street to lay in for a truck to run him over.
He's out there with nothin'. Nothin's happenin' for that cat.

And all that he has to do to create a little excitement in his
own life is to bum a dime from somewhere, call up the FBI.
Say "FBl?", they say "Yes", say "I think Uncle Ho and Chair-
man Mao and their friends are comin' over for dinner" (click)
Hang up the phone.

And within two minutes, and not two minutes from when he
hangs up the phone, but two minutes from when he first put
the dime in, they got 30,000 feet of tape rollin'; files on tape;
pictures, movies, dramas, actions on tape. But then they send
out a half a million people all over the entire world, the globe,
they find out all they can about this guy.

'Cause there's a number of questions involved in the guy. I
mean, if he was the last guy in the world, how'd he get a dime
to call the FBI? There are plenty of people that aren't the last
guys that can't get dimes. He comes along and he gets a dime.

I mean, if he had to bum a dime to call the FBI, how was he
gonna serve dinner for all of those people? How could the
last guy make dinner for all those people. And if he could
make dinner, and was gonna make dinner, then why did he
call the FBI?

They find out all of those questions within two minutes. And
that's a great thing about America. I mean, this is the only
country in the world...l mean, well, it's not the only country
in the world that could find stuff out in two minutes, but it's
the only country in the world that would take two minutes
for that guy.

Other countries would say "Hey, he's the last guy...screw
him", you know? But in America, there is no discrimination,
and there is no hypocrisy,'cause they'll get anybody. And that's
a wonderful thing about America.

And that's why tonight I'd like to dedicate it to every FBI
man in the audience. I know you can't say nothin', you know,
you can't get up and say "Hi!" cause then everybody knows
that you're an FBI man and that's a drag for you and your
friends.

They're not really your friends, are they? I mean, so you can't
get up and say nothin' 'cause other wise, you gotta get sent
back to the factory and that's a drag for you and it's an
expense for the government, and that's a drag for you.

We're gonna sing you this Christmas carol. It's for all you
bastards out there in the audience tonight. It's called "The
Pause of Mr. Claus".

Why do you sit there so strange?
Is it because you are beautiful?
You must think you are deranged
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

You must think Santa Clause weird
He has long hair and a beard
Giving his presents for free
Why do police guys mess with peace guys?

Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;
Santa Clause has a red suit
He's a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What's in the pipe that he's smoking?

Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
 
2009-12-17 11:07:43 AM

CygnusDarius


Are the Three Wise men any better role models, then?.


They don't have any common frankincense.


Joke shamelessly lifted from NPR.
 
2009-12-17 11:08:16 AM
obzerver
IdBeCrazyIf: Lampmonster: How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?

We'll he'll have his pick from the Mexicans, N366ers, or Chinese.


Racism: The pinnacle of insecurity. You are so exceedingly insecure with yourself you attack and demean others for being different.


www.morethings.com

DITTO!
 
2009-12-17 11:08:31 AM
"Santa is a late adopter of evidence-based behavior change and continues to sport a rotund, sedentary image," Grills wrote.

Not anymore. (new window)
 
2009-12-17 11:08:44 AM
Yes, he is.
 
2009-12-17 11:09:32 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-12-17 11:09:34 AM
Poppyale: sugarrushjunkie: Christmas is the one day of the year where parents are happy that some old guy snook into their house, wanders into their kids bedroom and empties his sack in one of the childs socks.

I'm uncomfortable with the word snook.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Dude...did someone say...Snook?


/FSM bless GIS
 
2009-12-17 11:09:40 AM
obzerver: IdBeCrazyIf: Lampmonster: How do you know the elves aren't paid? They might even be unionized. I mean, if the elfs quit, who else is gonna do the job?
We'll he'll have his pick from the Mexicans, N366ers, or Chinese.


Racism: The pinnacle of insecurity. You are so exceedingly insecure with yourself you attack and demean others for being different.


You need to observe more movies....
 
2009-12-17 11:10:02 AM
fark Santa! He offshored our toy manufacturing jobs to a bunch midgets overseas. If he'd use our airlines instead of those goddamned reindeer, maybe our government wouldn't have to bail out the airline industry so often.
 
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