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(Asbury Park Press)   You think the woman you are driving behind is going too slow. Do you, c) pull alondside the car and threaten the passenger with a knife?   (app.com) divider line 163
    More: Dumbass  
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5124 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2009 at 2:02 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-17 10:50:15 AM
A knife doesn't have enough power
To make other motorists cower.
A gun? That could grab 'em.
But why try to stab 'em
At seventy miles per hour?
 
2009-12-17 11:06:28 AM
Call him a img1.fark.net all you want, but that's something I dream about doing every time I get stuck behind Mrs.Daisy. Good on him for doing it.
 
2009-12-17 11:14:52 AM
klymen: I dream about doing every time I get stuck behind Mrs.Daisy. Good on him for doing it.

Except Ms. Daisy has a cell phone now and will have the cops stop you before you get away.
 
2009-12-17 11:18:46 AM
He's just lucky they didn't have a spoon.
 
2009-12-17 12:48:38 PM
klymen: Call him a all you want, but that's something I dream about doing every time I get stuck behind Mrs.Daisy. Good on him for doing it.

I also think that it is acceptable to threaten other drivers not once, but twice, because I was upset that another driver had the gall to not speed.
 
2009-12-17 01:41:31 PM
Aarontology: klymen: Call him a all you want, but that's something I dream about doing every time I get stuck behind Mrs.Daisy. Good on him for doing it.

I also think that it is acceptable to threaten other drivers not once, but twice, because I was upset that another driver had the gall to not speed.


Say what you will, but klymen is right on this one.
 
2009-12-17 02:04:26 PM
I take their picture and post it on the intratubes.
/got a collection
 
2009-12-17 02:05:25 PM
Sybarite: He's just lucky they didn't have a spoon.

i see you've played knifey spoony before.
 
2009-12-17 02:06:11 PM
I would just show her my dong while I pass her.

Than again, my dong is a registered lethal weapon.
 
2009-12-17 02:07:34 PM
A knife?

Well, if haven't got any arrows...
thecoredump.org
 
2009-12-17 02:08:31 PM
Aarontology: I also think that it is acceptable to threaten other drivers not once, but twice, because I was upset that another driver had the gall to not speed.

The article just said that the guy with the knife felt like she wasn't driving fast enough. It didn't say that he was mad because she wasn't speeding.

I say this because I regularly get behind people camped out in the left lane that go 5 to 10 mph UNDER the posted speed limit.
 
2009-12-17 02:08:33 PM
A bunch of those in this thread
img3.imageshack.us
 
2009-12-17 02:08:40 PM
Every morning on my way to work there are always several asshats that block the left lane making it impossible for anyone to pass.
I often wonder what goes through these people's heads. Are they that oblivious to the world around them that they just don't notice the 10 cars behind them flashing their lights and blowing the horn?

Sometimes I wish I could live in their little oblivious bubble.
 
2009-12-17 02:10:07 PM
Sybarite: He's just lucky they didn't have a spoon.

why a spoon?
www.smokingtree.net
 
2009-12-17 02:10:44 PM
The question is...

Why is she driving her car...

In the kitchen...

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

/couldn't find the jpg
 
2009-12-17 02:11:21 PM
MaxxLarge: A knife doesn't have enough power
To make other motorists cower.
A gun? That could grab 'em.
But why try to stab 'em
At seventy miles per hour?


farm3.static.flickr.com

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN MEN ARE TALKING!!
 
2009-12-17 02:11:58 PM
People who are driving too slow because they're talking on a cell phone deserve to be threatened.

/Maybe not with a knife. But at least with a shaking fist, or a very mean look.
 
2009-12-17 02:12:12 PM
Pucca: Every morning on my way to work there are always several asshats that block the left lane making it impossible for anyone to pass.
I often wonder what goes through these people's heads. Are they that oblivious to the world around them that they just don't notice the 10 cars behind them flashing their lights and blowing the horn?

Sometimes I wish I could live in their little oblivious bubble.


Those are the Fark trolls on the way to work.
 
2009-12-17 02:12:36 PM
No subby, a gun is much more effective.
/Sheesh!
 
2009-12-17 02:13:45 PM
Pucca: Every morning on my way to work there are always several asshats that block the left lane making it impossible for anyone to pass.
I often wonder what goes through these people's heads. Are they that oblivious to the world around them that they just don't notice the 10 cars behind them flashing their lights and blowing the horn?

Sometimes I wish I could live in their little oblivious bubble.


It's called not caring about anyone but yourself. Who the hell are others to ask things of you? You got yours, screw them.

The death of common courtesy.
 
2009-12-17 02:14:31 PM
I pull a long cider.



Often and consistently.


If she pulls over she can try my Dickens Cider.
 
2009-12-17 02:14:35 PM
klymen: Call him a all you want, but that's something I dream about doing every time I get stuck behind Mrs.Daisy. Good on him for doing it.

Amen. I actually fantasize about two side-winder missiles mounted to the front of my car to get them out of the way.
 
2009-12-17 02:15:22 PM
This morning I was cruising along in the fast lane at 75mph. That's 10 mph over the speed limit. There's a line of cars in front of me so I can't go any faster, which is fine with me because I shouldn't, anyway. Of course some moron in a truck decides that tailgating me would somehow get the entire line of cars to speed up. There is no better way to get me to forget where the gas pedal is located in my car.
 
2009-12-17 02:16:27 PM
kruise: klymen: Call him a all you want, but that's something I dream about doing every time I get stuck behind Mrs.Daisy. Good on him for doing it.

Amen. I actually fantasize about two side-winder missiles mounted to the front of my car to get them out of the way.


"Too close for missiles, switching to guns"?

Besides. We know this story is complete bullshiat. It's not women who always drive too slow. It's old people
 
2009-12-17 02:17:25 PM
BobNesta420: People who are driving too slow because they're talking on a cell phone deserve to be threatened.

/Maybe not with a knife. But at least with a shaking fist, or a very mean look.


Article doesn't say that she was on the phone while driving, only that she called after being threatened and the thug left after he came to her a 2nd time and saw her on the phone.
 
2009-12-17 02:18:14 PM
kruise: Amen. I actually fantasize about two side-winder missiles mounted to the front of my car to get them out of the way.

That would cause traffic clogging debris. My fantasy involves a helicopter with an electromagnet swooping down, plucking them off the road, and tossing them.

The only drawback would be onlooker delays and the occasional person getting out of their car to give standing ovations to the people in the helicopter. The helicopter is still in the air for the former. The latter may be excused.
 
2009-12-17 02:18:57 PM
Yes.

/Learned that technique in NJ HS Drivers Ed.
// Also how to navigate circles and jughandles
///Not that hard, people!! $%*#%%
 
2009-12-17 02:19:33 PM
kruise,that is relevent to my interests because I, too, fantasize about blowing up the cars at the head of the line in the lefthand lane.

To smug, self-righteous, self-appointed traffic monitors: you are actually creating more of a problem than you are solving. Go be douchebags somewhere else.

And no, I'm not a speeder. I almost never leave the right lane. When I actually *pass* someone in the left lane, that's when I know I've encountered a true asshole.
 
2009-12-17 02:19:49 PM
That would be a moving violation here in California as the correct weapon to use in road rage is a gun.
 
2009-12-17 02:20:44 PM
Wow!

So many heart surgeons running late for that emergency surgery in here.

Who Knew!
 
2009-12-17 02:21:22 PM
gorgor: I take their picture and post it on the intratubes.
/got a collection


If those are pictures of what you do to people who get in your way... (shudders) well, I'll just stay out of your way!
 
2009-12-17 02:22:47 PM
Subby, is the answer c) pull alondside the car and threaten the passenger with a knife?


/alondside?
 
2009-12-17 02:22:51 PM
OgreMagi: This morning I was cruising along in the fast lane at 75mph. That's 10 mph over the speed limit. There's a line of cars in front of me so I can't go any faster, which is fine with me because I shouldn't, anyway. Of course some moron in a truck decides that tailgating me would somehow get the entire line of cars to speed up. There is no better way to get me to forget where the gas pedal is located in my car.

Did he get in the right lane to pass all the cars in front of you, only to be blocked by a car in the right lane, when he then decides to get back into the left lane by wedging himself into the pack of cars in front of you?
 
2009-12-17 02:24:58 PM
The world needs to move as fast as I want to, technology needs to work exactly as I expect it to work, and people who aren't me are wrong, wrong, wrong.
 
2009-12-17 02:26:45 PM
Pucca: Every morning on my way to work there are always several asshats that block the left lane making it impossible for anyone to pass.
I often wonder what goes through these people's heads. Are they that oblivious to the world around them that they just don't notice the 10 cars behind them flashing their lights and blowing the horn?

Sometimes I wish I could live in their little oblivious bubble.


I think some people don't realize that the left lane is for passing. Around here there are no signs saying "slow traffic keep right" or "pass on left".

/doesn't make it any less frustrating
 
2009-12-17 02:27:43 PM
Asbury Park? Sounds about right...
 
2009-12-17 02:27:53 PM
The world needs to move as fast slow as I want to, technology needs to work exactly as I expect it to workserve as a distraction while I should be focusing on driving, and people who aren't me are wrong, wrong, wrong.
 
2009-12-17 02:28:20 PM
I thought that was just how they say "Hello" in New Jersey.
 
2009-12-17 02:28:35 PM
that dude keeps it real
 
2009-12-17 02:30:26 PM
Is she hot...?
 
2009-12-17 02:30:49 PM
my friend just got his license, and he drives exactly the speed limit, not that in gonna hassle him about it, when theirs 5 people in your 2 door car its kind of distracting

/and he can only legally have 1 friend in the car
 
2009-12-17 02:31:50 PM
OgreMagi: This morning I was cruising along in the fast lane at 75mph. That's 10 mph over the speed limit. There's a line of cars in front of me so I can't go any faster, which is fine with me because I shouldn't, anyway. Of course some moron in a truck decides that tailgating me would somehow get the entire line of cars to speed up. There is no better way to get me to forget where the gas pedal is located in my car.

That's when I slam on my brakes real fast so they get REAL close and then speed up again. That usually backs them off, and then you get the finger when they eventually get to pass you.
 
2009-12-17 02:34:07 PM
i want to share this coolstorybro.

3 days ago on the way to work, 2 lane highway. 55mph.
I'm on a straightaway and a car pulls out to pass, coming at me. I see they clearly don't have enough room, so i immediately hit my brakes. but the kept coming, so i kept braking.
I came to A DEAD STOP.
she kept coming at me, and finally ended up passing about 10ft before she got to me. talking on her cell phone the whole time.
never flinched never looked around.

i couldn't believe it. i wanted to turn around and follow her and pull her out of the car by the hair.
but i'm not that guy.
 
2009-12-17 02:34:22 PM
jbtilley: kruise: Amen. I actually fantasize about two side-winder missiles mounted to the front of my car to get them out of the way.

That would cause traffic clogging debris. My fantasy involves a helicopter with an electromagnet swooping down, plucking them off the road, and tossing them.

The only drawback would be onlooker delays and the occasional person getting out of their car to give standing ovations to the people in the helicopter. The helicopter is still in the air for the former. The latter may be excused.


I like your style.

/newsletter, etc.
 
2009-12-17 02:34:49 PM
sboyle1020: OgreMagi: This morning I was cruising along in the fast lane at 75mph. That's 10 mph over the speed limit. There's a line of cars in front of me so I can't go any faster, which is fine with me because I shouldn't, anyway. Of course some moron in a truck decides that tailgating me would somehow get the entire line of cars to speed up. There is no better way to get me to forget where the gas pedal is located in my car.

That's when I slam on my brakes real fast so they get REAL close and then speed up again. That usually backs them off, and then you get the finger when they eventually get to pass you.


Break checks are awesome until you get plowed into by someone not tailgating intentionally. And you're insurance is paying all the bills for both of the cars, that would be the least of your problems there. Best bet is to pull to the right and let them pass.
 
2009-12-17 02:35:31 PM
That's not a knife. THIS is a knife.

Cool story: I was driving home and approaching my exit, which is on the right side of a 6 lane highway. The traffic next to me was going fairly slow, and I was trying not to pass them on the right as people have a tendency to jerk their cars into my lane without signaling (speeding past 50 cars in the right lane is a bad idea anyway). So this *AHEM* "lady" behind me got upset I wasn't doing 70, so whips around me--she must have been doing 90 mph--and almost runs me off the road as she cuts me off at the exit.

The what do you know? At the first stoplight after the exit I pull right up next to her. I rolled down my window and started berating her for almost killing me (I did not use any bad language) mostly just "You almost ran me off the road! What is wrong with you?" etc. She sat there staring straight ahead with her lips pursed together, and slowly reached over and locked her passenger side door, never even looking my way.

Still, it was fun to be able to chastise an aggressive driver to their face, or at least the side of their face.
 
2009-12-17 02:38:03 PM
b>Lloyd Braun: alondside?

It's like a landslide, but, you know, with lond.

/nice jorb, mods
 
2009-12-17 02:38:32 PM
sboyle1020: OgreMagi: This morning I was cruising along in the fast lane at 75mph. That's 10 mph over the speed limit. There's a line of cars in front of me so I can't go any faster, which is fine with me because I shouldn't, anyway. Of course some moron in a truck decides that tailgating me would somehow get the entire line of cars to speed up. There is no better way to get me to forget where the gas pedal is located in my car.

That's when I slam on my brakes real fast so they get REAL close and then speed up again. That usually backs them off, and then you get the finger when they eventually get to pass you.


It is not your job to police other drivers like that. You'll cause and accident leaving me stuck in traffic for 2 hours.

Next time honk your horn the get their attention, and have your arm fully extended out the window with a rigid middle finger.
 
2009-12-17 02:38:35 PM
I cant pass any judgement here, I think about doing things like that 100 times a day. All I can do is pointlessly flash my lights if I get pissed enough and I cant pass.

/if you cant at least handle the speed limit...
//GET THE FARK OFF THE ROAD
 
2009-12-17 02:39:38 PM
Left lane vigilanties make me all stabby. I hate passing on the right, but I'll do it in a heart beat if some jackass is doing 5-10mph below in the left lane. Especially if I know they're doing it on purpose. The other day I had to pass some old bluehair in an Olds 88 on the right because she had about a half of a mile of traffic backed up behind her. I watched the people in front of me pass her and she shook her head and pointed at every one of them. I just gave her a big sarcastic grin and a wave when it was my turn. IT AINT YOUR JOB TO PLAY TRAFFIC COP!

And my favorite thing to do when someone flicks you off while you're driving is to give them a big shiat eating grin with 2 thumbs up. It confuses them and makes me laugh.
 
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