FARK.com: (4861521) Protip: If you want to remain a member of your exclusive golf club, you might want to make sure the "modeling agency" you've rented your condo to isn't actually making a video for a site called "Ass Parade"

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		Protip: If you want to remain a member of your exclusive golf club, you might want to make sure the "modeling agency" you've rented your condo to isn't actually making a video for a site called "Ass Parade" (deadspin.com)		80
		More: Florida, Miami Beach, representations, Raul Quintana, condos

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16179 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2009 at 7:22 AM | Favorite | share:

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80 Comments (+0 »)

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Peaceboy

2009-12-17 04:15:20 AM

"B-b-but... I thought it was for a medical show called 'Aspirate'."

JerseyTim

2009-12-17 04:33:17 AM

Sweet, a new video must be coming soon!

benlonghair

2009-12-17 06:56:20 AM

If i'm gonna sub-let, it better be for a damned good reason. This is a damned good reason.

skammie

2009-12-17 07:11:22 AM

farking Quintana--that creep can roll, man--

www.fileitunder.com

TiltedKilt

2009-12-17 07:27:44 AM

So I'm not the only person this has ever happened to.

/whew!

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

2009-12-17 07:28:27 AM

Seriously. You need to go with Bang Bus or better.

/It's in the club charter!

OnmyojiOmn

2009-12-17 07:30:55 AM

I hope he replaces the couch and any carpeting around said couch. You know what I'm talking about.

SBinRR

2009-12-17 07:32:15 AM

I bet that made his putter flutter.

Purple_Jack

2009-12-17 07:37:54 AM

If the photo in the article was anything to go by, they must have been catering to the emerging cellulite fetishist market.

stucka

2009-12-17 07:41:36 AM

Great story, Bro!

Golf, sex, Florida, nutcases -- this has everything the Tiger Woods story doesn't. Wait.

Oh_Enough_Already

2009-12-17 07:45:02 AM

Purple_Jack: If the photo in the article was anything to go by, they must have been catering to the emerging cellulite fetishist market.

RULE 34.

Scutter

2009-12-17 07:45:49 AM

But did he break 100?

Cashew

2009-12-17 07:48:11 AM

BlowPopGirl

2009-12-17 07:48:35 AM

Purple_Jack: If the photo in the article was anything to go by, they must have been catering to the emerging cellulite fetishist market.

Exactly -- I've seen a few different grades of erotic video but never quite that much in the way of out-of shape girls without searching it out purposefully.

snidepiper

2009-12-17 07:49:14 AM

Things like this are par for the course when renting.

2009-12-17 07:53:07 AM

GASKELL. Allo allo! What's going on here?

SPANIARD. Ees nothing, Señor, ees just some literature.

GASKELL. I know what literature is, you dago dustbin. I also know what porn is. What's this then eh?

SPANIARD. It is one of Lope De Vega's latest play, Señor.

GASKELL. 'Toledo Tit Parade'? What sort of play's that?

SPANIARD. It's very visual, Señor.

- 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' Episode 36

H. W. Plainview

2009-12-17 07:54:10 AM

skammie: farking Quintana--that creep can roll, man--

Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude... He's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an 8 year old. When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.

/And the picture i want eludes me.

TheBitterest

2009-12-17 08:01:37 AM

Devon is still doing porn? Hope she got her grill fixed...

Wolfmanjames

2009-12-17 08:03:11 AM

So, to make 'Ass Parade,' they had to burro his condo?

mugachino

2009-12-17 08:06:33 AM

Fooshards

2009-12-17 08:10:47 AM

eas81

2009-12-17 08:14:11 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Seriously. You need to go with Bang Bus or better.

/It's in the club charter!

srsly guess this guy never heard of bangbros, the site's been around foever!!1!!

Shakespeare's Monkey

2009-12-17 08:15:35 AM

What golf porn looks like. By the way, is this "Ass Parade Volume 3" or is it "Ass Parade Volume 4"? They are totally different films, plot wise.

ModernLuddite

2009-12-17 08:15:39 AM

They can actually dictate what you do, who you associate with, and what goes on in your house? And people sign up for this?

And there was ass oiling, you say?

TheHottieGolfer

2009-12-17 08:15:40 AM

What is with Fark and all the golf stories? Not that I am complaining, I like it.

This story cracks me up... but something tells me that it is a bit tongue-in-cheek. I am sure that in-the-end the civil court will get to the bottom of this.

The Envoy

2009-12-17 08:17:06 AM

OnmyojiOmn: I hope he replaces the couch and any carpeting around said couch. You know what I'm talking about.

I most certainly do not.

/Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

dstanley

2009-12-17 08:22:12 AM

EWEWEWEWEW

Spongiform

2009-12-17 08:28:38 AM

dstanley: EWEWEWEWEW

images.google.com

Markoff_Cheney

2009-12-17 08:36:04 AM

if there were ever a thread that was tailor made for fark and its community, this might be it.

Deucetoo

2009-12-17 08:38:32 AM

Ass thread? Huzzah!
Come on, you Farkers. Make a poor, lonely, pitiful, pathetic, dismal, deployed Soldier happy.

Balchinian

2009-12-17 08:39:29 AM

This may be the funniest thing I have read this year.

Ass Parade on your couch...hysterical!

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros

2009-12-17 08:39:47 AM

My apologies. That "Enter Course Here" sign is a little misleading, though.

frizzantik

2009-12-17 08:41:20 AM

/it's even the right state!

NobleHam

2009-12-17 08:43:43 AM

Shakespeare's Monkey: What golf porn looks like. By the way, is this "Ass Parade Volume 3" or is it "Ass Parade Volume 4"? They are totally different films, plot wise.

It's a website.

/ashamed

Balchinian

2009-12-17 08:44:12 AM

Could be worse.

/Hotness from some Farker's profile

IdBeCrazyIf

2009-12-17 08:48:04 AM

Well what else do you expect when they play the back nine?

ttintagel

2009-12-17 08:50:52 AM

"Amy, here's your 'Victoria's Secret' catalog. Fry - 'Sadie's Bra Parade,' and for Leela, 'Bulk Underpants Monthly.'"

"Jeez, you buy a couple of pounds of underpants, and you're on their mailing list forever."

Beauxnick

2009-12-17 08:51:32 AM

Balchinian: Could be worse.

/Hotness from some Farker's profile

Thats more ass than anyone can handle... they even have front asses!

/going to throw up now

Harry Freakstorm

2009-12-17 08:53:08 AM

Dear Harry Freakstorm,

As President of the Condominium Board, it has been brought to my attention that your condo, Unit 12E256-2 has an excessive number of violations. You have 30 days to remedy or we will take further action.

1. You have excessive numbers of antennas including several television dish style units, a short wave, long wave, analogue television and something that says "Property U S Navy: USS Mayaguez". We currently allow only one antenna per unit. Please remove all others.

2. The Condo Association encourages social interactions and you are allowed a certain number of guests but they have to remain civil and clothed. Also, videotaping, recording and film making are strictly prohibited. An unnamed citizen of our community reports that he saw an adult video strictly by accident in which our condos were featured. If it is discovered that you had anything to do with the production or distribution of Condo C***S #3, you will be prosecuted and or fined.

3. Why are our pets showing up at an animal shelter in Indiana? If you are relocating said pets out of state, you may be held liable.

Look, Freakstorm. We've really tried to tolerate you. The fires, the explosions, the occasional screaming naked woman are annoying but this stuff has to stop. Also, stop calling me at 2 am and stop sending pictures of naked women to my wireless printer.

Signed
Condo Board President
Jonas Felk-Smelter

The Drunk IT Guy

2009-12-17 08:55:24 AM

There's this girl who calls herself Katie Jordin in an Ass Parade video I'm downloading from The Pirate Bay. She's one of the hottest porn girls I've found so far. Go Bang Bros!

dittybopper

2009-12-17 08:59:47 AM