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(Jacksonville.com)   Your Christmas tree should be a reflection of your family. Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination   (jacksonville.com) divider line 92
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3014 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2009 at 3:38 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-12-16 11:19:51 AM
Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination

The kind that will knock you all down, of course.
 
2009-12-16 11:25:06 AM
I have yet to find an angel tree-topper with a posable middle finger.
 
2009-12-16 11:29:03 AM
If I don't have a Christmas tree, does that mean I don't have a family? Because if so I need to see some kind of mental help expert about my imaginary family.
 
2009-12-16 12:10:30 PM
My tree would be outfitted with passive-aggressive lights and emotionally retarded ornaments.
 
2009-12-16 12:13:34 PM
Thankfully I was able to find some of those musical tree lights that plays unnecessarily dramatic music. Also, the angel tree topper is stupid, co-dependent, and pregnant.
 
2009-12-16 12:25:40 PM
I'd like to put up my Christmas tree to be a reflection of my family, but unfortunately it's broken so I can't.
 
2009-12-16 12:35:54 PM
I forgot... my tree-topper witholds sex as punishment.
 
2009-12-16 12:44:31 PM
ne2d: I'd like to put up my Christmas tree to be a reflection of my family, but unfortunately it's broken so I can't.

I just lay boughs around the living room and stuff pine needles into the cracks in the couch.
 
2009-12-16 12:49:58 PM
I hope this is snark because I'm getting really depressed.

The secret to a happy holiday is to marry an asian woman. See we're all geared up for American New Years, we'll get shiat faced and have a great time and then in short order, Tet rolls around and I get to do all over again. We cherry pick the best holidays from both cultures and dump the annoying ones on the grounds of "offensive to my spouse."
 
2009-12-16 01:08:48 PM
In the wood chipper before New Year's Day?
 
2009-12-16 01:10:59 PM
www.themonitor.ca
 
2009-12-16 01:11:30 PM
ne2d: I'd like to put up my Christmas tree to be a reflection of my family, but unfortunately it's broken so I can't.

The tree or your family?
 
2009-12-16 01:16:25 PM
I'm not sure how to make my tree look like a malignant tumor.
 
2009-12-16 01:19:15 PM
So the Palins have a fake tree?
 
2009-12-16 01:24:41 PM
My tree creeps into my bedroom late at night and puts its penis in my mouth.
 
2009-12-16 01:35:21 PM
Our tree is soaked in alcohol.
 
2009-12-16 01:42:03 PM
Diogenes: ne2d: I'd like to put up my Christmas tree to be a reflection of my family, but unfortunately it's broken so I can't.

The tree or your family?


discriminant.org
 
2009-12-16 02:06:01 PM
i247.photobucket.comfestivus!
 
2009-12-16 02:20:48 PM
Diogenes: So the Palins have a fake tree?

I was thinking that it would be "special" like the Charlie Brown tree
 
2009-12-16 02:26:52 PM
NuttierThanEver: Diogenes: So the Palins have a fake tree?

I was thinking that it would be "special" like the Charlie Brown tree


My grandmother was in a scroogey mood last year and actually made up a Charlie Brown tree. None of her friends "got it".
 
2009-12-16 02:41:35 PM
Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination

www.cherry-forever.com
 
2009-12-16 03:02:50 PM
My sister in-law's family should follow this advice. It would be interesting to see a Christmas tree in the form of a giant douche-bag.
 
2009-12-16 03:17:19 PM
Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination

A Hanukkah menorah.

/just had the mother-in-law over for Hanukkah. Yeesh.
 
2009-12-16 03:27:28 PM
jaylectricity: Our tree is soaked in alcohol.


Out on the back porch, smoking and frightening the neighbors.
 
2009-12-16 03:41:34 PM
Then mine needs to be festooned with potatoes and Jameson whisky. And random blackouts. And arrests.
 
2009-12-16 03:43:29 PM
You need a Festivus pole, of course.
 
2009-12-16 03:45:11 PM
Mine is covered with little skeletons.
 
2009-12-16 03:46:37 PM
How high can you pile shiat mixed with vomit?
 
2009-12-16 03:47:21 PM
Guilt and humility.

/thanks mom
 
2009-12-16 03:49:43 PM
Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination

A Festivus pole.

*shakes fist at FuturePastNow*
 
2009-12-16 03:49:56 PM
FuturePastNow
please refer to the above posted image for said pole
 
2009-12-16 03:50:12 PM
Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination

images2.wikia.nocookie.net

/got nothin'
 
2009-12-16 03:50:50 PM
Tinsel is distracting.
 
2009-12-16 03:50:56 PM
vernonFL: My tree creeps into my bedroom late at night and puts its penis in my mouth.

I think we have hit bedrock here, it can't get worse than this

/+1 internet to you
 
2009-12-16 03:51:08 PM
festivusweb.com?
 
2009-12-16 03:51:50 PM
gorgor: Mine is covered with little skeletons.

If that's the worst your tree is decorated with, I'm grateful. And a little disappointed.
 
2009-12-16 03:52:17 PM
Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination

00000F00000A00000R00000K0000
 
2009-12-16 03:53:28 PM
ne2d: I'd like to put up my Christmas tree to be a reflection of my family, but unfortunately it's broken so I can't.

the tree of the family?
 
2009-12-16 03:53:30 PM
"Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination."

You know those big plastic scrota they hang from underneath trucks? Those. Just get a set, use a Sharpie to write "MINE" on them, and hang them on the tree.
 
2009-12-16 03:53:41 PM
www.prettycleverdecor.com

//hot
 
2009-12-16 03:56:33 PM
Fano: How high can you pile shiat mixed with vomit?

Dunno, how tall are you ?
/fish + barrel = Fark
 
2009-12-16 03:57:31 PM
prettylively.files.wordpress.com

This Garland.
 
2009-12-16 03:58:08 PM
I constantly threaten to kick my tree out of the house if it doesn't straighten up.

It rolls its tree eyes at me and goes back to playing XBox.

/admins should've enabled voting for this thread
//I would've voted for the withholding sex tree
 
2009-12-16 03:59:01 PM
I like my Christmas trees like I like my women - tall and artificial.
 
2009-12-16 04:00:12 PM
Who has a tree anymore now that we can celebrate Festivus?
t2.gstatic.com
 
2009-12-16 04:02:42 PM
Subby sounds gay.
 
2009-12-16 04:08:23 PM
So I should get an adult-tree?

Now I know....
 
2009-12-16 04:11:16 PM
BigHarv: gorgor: Mine is covered with little skeletons.

If that's the worst your tree is decorated with, I'm grateful. And a little disappointed.


I had one covered in knives and meat cleavers. Another with taxidermied piranha, but those get expensive.
 
2009-12-16 04:13:27 PM
I know for a fact that subby's mom likes kissing balls...
 
2009-12-16 04:14:18 PM
We have to put prozac in the water of my tree
 
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