I knew that Sega had fallen on hard times, but I never thought it would come to this.

First you get your kicks with chaos emeralds, then it's straight to hard nose candy and worse.

Dude, stop hogging all the shiat.

just a mile or so away from that Sonic, getting a kick, etc.

I lived in Cape Girardeau for four years. It's one of the most miserable places in America.

I bet their biggest customer moved to Florida

jehovahs witness protection: Fark Sonic. They insisted on putting mayo on a perfectly good burger...TWICE. Never going back.

Some places don't put dill pickle slices on burgers. Bastards.

jehovahs witness protection: Fark Sonic. They insisted on putting mayo on a perfectly good burger...TWICE. Never going back.

That wasn't mayo.

jehovahs witness protection: Fark Sonic. They insisted on putting mayo on a perfectly good burger...TWICE. Never going back.

Have you ever been to Checkers? They out enough mayo in their burgers to justify a straw.

Submitted this story almost a week ago.

/Not bitter.
//Missouri, come for the Meth, stay for the puppy mills.

TheShavingofOccam123: jehovahs witness protection: Fark Sonic. They insisted on putting mayo on a perfectly good burger...TWICE. Never going back.

Some places don't put dill pickle slices on burgers. Bastards.

You now have me craving a cuban sandwich.

destitute college kid: I lived in Cape Girardeau for four years. It's one of the most miserable places in America.

Tell me some good Cape stories please.

I hate Chevy: I bet their biggest customer moved to Florida


I was going to post something like this as a "You know who else lived in Cape Girardeau?" but several FARKERS have already beaten me to identifying this gasbag.

I usually get the $20 crank special at the massage place.

TheShavingofOccam123: Some places don't put dill pickle slices on burgers. Bastards.

Pickles on my hamburger? That's almost as bad as putting fruit in my beer.

/I've killed for less

Link (new window)

Understands.

/farking Ladoosiers

destitute college kid: I lived in Cape Girardeau for four years. It's one of the most miserable places in America.

Howso? It's pretty normal for a town that size. If larger cities are your thing it's obviously going to be miserable. It's not exciting or anything, but it's not horrible either.

As someone who has been to some of the most miserable places in America, I strongly disagree. Go anywhere on the Mexican border then talk about miserable. I would say Cape Girardeau isn't even one of the top 500 most miserable places in America.

Sympathetic:

I'm from southwest Missouri and I used to buy pot from the manager of a Sonic in my town. While he was at work. It must be a Missouri thing.

paygun: Tell me some good Cape stories please.

There aren't that many. Mostly depressing ones. Our state rep ended up in jail a couple years ago, I think. When I was in school there the university president, this slimy douche named Ken Dobbins, eliminated the top-notch earth sciences department (southeast Missouri is one of the most geologically interesting parts of the country) to fund the crappy OVC football team. There's a mural downtown of famous Missouri residents. Rush Limbaugh's on it (his face gets spraypainted over every couple years.) T. S. Eliot's name is spelled wrong on it.

I remember one college dorm, Dearmont I think it was called, it was a widely known fact was full of asbestos. No one seemed to care. The attitude was, "Nothing we can do about it, might as well just keep breathing it in." That's the general attitude of Cape Girardeans - life is miserable, might as well just keep sucking it down 'til we die and not think too hard about it.

Bunch of cool stories bro, huh? Like I said, not a great place.

Sonic needs a new ad campaign.


Sonic: Crank it up!

fenianfark: Submitted this story almost a week ago.

/Not bitter.
//Missouri, come for the Meth, stay for the puppy mills.

I think you could probably do a one stop shop thing considering some of the people I've seen selling puppies around here...

Ihaveanevilparrot: As someone who has been to some of the most miserable places in America, I strongly disagree. Go anywhere on the Mexican border then talk about miserable. I would say Cape Girardeau isn't even one of the top 500 most miserable places in America.

Fair enough. I guess I mean that, for a place its size, its relative wealth and its relative proximity to other interesting parts of the country, it astounds me how depressing it is.

destitute college kid: I remember one college dorm, Dearmont I think it was called, it was a widely known fact was full of asbestos.

It's Dempster if I remember right. Nicknamed Dumpster.

I figured there must be something special in the food with the way people flock to that place.

I've never even bothered trying it because the wait is always so long.

paygun: It's Dempster if I remember right. Nicknamed Dumpster.

Ah yes. Dearmont was the business building, I think.

destitute college kid: Fair enough. I guess I mean that, for a place its size, its relative wealth and its relative proximity to other interesting parts of the country, it astounds me how depressing it is.

I never thought it was depressing, but it's a subjective thing. But then I've lived in Oklahoma.

destitute college kid: Ihaveanevilparrot: As someone who has been to some of the most miserable places in America, I strongly disagree. Go anywhere on the Mexican border then talk about miserable. I would say Cape Girardeau isn't even one of the top 500 most miserable places in America.

Fair enough. I guess I mean that, for a place its size, its relative wealth and its relative proximity to other interesting parts of the country, it astounds me how depressing it is.

I'm from Cincinnati, don't talk to me about depressing :p
Even our football team is/was depressing.
Though I've been to Gary, IN, and they seem to take the cake.

But, I agree, Missouri in general does seem to be pretty damn impoverished as far as states go. Southeast Missouri is pretty bad.

paygun: I never thought it was depressing, but it's a subjective thing. But then I've lived in Oklahoma.

You poor thing.

/not being sarcastic

destitute college kid: I lived in Cape Girardeau for four years. It's one of the most miserable places in America.

I live in Carbondale, IL. When the family and I want a decent restaurant and a short road trip, we head to Cape.

At least SEMO isn't talking about closing its doors in March due to massive budget fail, and your academic buildings don't need to be condemned.

Cape Girardeau >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Carbondale

You know how it is, Missouri loves company.

This is what Small Town Values are all about.

Ihaveanevilparrot: You poor thing.

Hey that's nothing, I lived on the east side of Indianapolis for years. It's like Detroit with less burned out buildings.

Now I live in a great little town near Cape Girardeau.

GypsyJoker: At least SEMO isn't talking about closing its doors in March due to massive budget fail, and your acad

Is SIU really doing that badly? Eeesh. I have a few friends who transferred there, and they seemed to think it was a big improvement over SEMO.

GypsyJoker: destitute college kid: I lived in Cape Girardeau for four years. It's one of the most miserable places in America.

I live in Carbondale, IL. When the family and I want a decent restaurant and a short road trip, we head to Cape.

At least SEMO isn't talking about closing its doors in March due to massive budget fail, and your academic buildings don't need to be condemned.

Cape Girardeau >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Carbondale

I can one up you. I lived in Chester, IL for awhile. Their bowling alley had been closed for years and there was no movie theater or anything. They DID have a Popeye (the sailor man) museum, how exciting! We went to Carbondale for something to do...
My husband worked in Gorham,IL for a few days. How can a post office be brand new and surrounded by dilapidated trailers?

paygun: Now I live in a great little town near Cape Girardeau.

Scott City, maybe?
I like some of the little towns around Cape. Lived in Scott City for a while, it actually feels like that folksy neighborly little town people used to think of when they thought of Missouri. Jackson's not bad either.

The Angry Hand of God: jehovahs witness protection: Fark Sonic. They insisted on putting mayo on a perfectly good burger...TWICE. Never going back.

Have you ever been to Checkers? They out enough mayo in their burgers to justify a straw.

Outing mayo and using straws, I know it's a silly typo, but there has to be a gay joke in there somewhere?

scrumpox: You know how it is, Missouri loves company.

paygun: Ihaveanevilparrot: You poor thing.

Hey that's nothing, I lived on the east side of Indianapolis for years. It's like Detroit with less burned out buildings.

Now I live in a great little town near Cape Girardeau.

At least you can easily booze in Indianapolis.
My Aunt lives there and I used to stay with her periodically, so I know what you mean though.
Is the east side the one that smells like cat piss and burning tires, or is that the west side? I can't remember.

Ihaveanevilparrot: I can one up you. I lived in Chester, IL for awhile.

I did some work in Chester a few years ago. It's a hole.

I live in Cape, saw this story a few days ago in the SEMissourian and just knew that this would wind up on Fark somehow. Cape is not really that bad...maybe from a student perspective it might suck, but if you're raising a family it's nice.

Just to point this out, Cairo trumps every town we've all named.

At least you can easily buy booze in Indianapolis.

ftfm

Not that it changes the point...

Ihaveanevilparrot: At least you can easily booze in Indianapolis.
My Aunt lives there and I used to stay with her periodically, so I know what you mean though.
Is the east side the one that smells like cat piss and burning tires, or is that the west side? I can't remember.

Indy still has blue laws for booze. I worked in bars there for a while. The west side smells bad, the east side smells like the state fair and then you get stabbed.

wrightbone: I live in Cape, saw this story a few days ago in the SEMissourian and just knew that this would wind up on Fark somehow. Cape is not really that bad...maybe from a student perspective it might suck, but if you're raising a family it's nice.

If you're a lawyer and you steal $325,000 and give some of it to Rush Limbaugh's brother, it's a great place to live.

destitute college kid: Just to point this out, Cairo trumps every town we've all named.

The bullet holes in the court house from the last time there was a riot are one of the highlights, and also the various burned out buildings.

That barbecue place on the main drag has great food though.

paygun: Indy still has blue laws for booze. I worked in bars there for a while.

Ok, well let me put it this way, at least the bars serve something other than 3.2 beer. Dunno about all of Oklahoma, but everywhere my husband has worked they don't sell alcohol on sunday, after like 9 pm, and none of it is anything other than 3.2 beer. It's mostly smaller towns he works in, so no liquor stores.