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(Salon) Weird What is best in life? To break into Dad's museum and steal $20M worth of paintings. Fark: with a backhoe   (salon.com) divider line 80
More: Weird, Alfonso Frank Frazetta, Conan the Barbarian, Frazetta Art Museum, Gerard Geiger, Monroe County, district attorney  
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5636 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2009 at 12:35 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2009-12-11 04:27:35 PM
Poor Frank. Ellie was his greatest fan and protector, now that she's gone the vultures are circling
 
2009-12-11 04:53:32 PM
Wow that's just weird.
 
2009-12-11 05:12:59 PM
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
 
2009-12-12 12:36:52 AM
interclick sucks
What is it and why does my computer keep getting stuck at it?
 
2009-12-12 12:39:57 AM
Better if he has a Ferrari took take for a spin as well.
 
2009-12-12 12:41:18 AM
Should have used a Ditch Witch.
 
2009-12-12 12:41:25 AM
I like to imagine the backhoe playing Dixie as it bust through the museum windows.
 
2009-12-12 12:43:23 AM
Pro tip: Backhoes are great for breaking in, not so hot on the getaways.
 
2009-12-12 12:43:50 AM
Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.
 
2009-12-12 12:45:49 AM
A trooper who responded said Frazetta claimed he had been instructed by his father "to enter the museum by any means necessary to move all the paintings to a storage facility," according to a police affidavit.

Yeah, they might have fallen for that one.
 
2009-12-12 12:47:20 AM
It's also helpful to have a fronthoe sometimes
 
2009-12-12 12:48:54 AM
crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???
 
2009-12-12 12:52:07 AM
$20M worth of paintings. Fark: with a backhoe

Potentially, they might have suffered grader damage.
 
2009-12-12 12:52:29 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???


I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.
 
2009-12-12 12:55:16 AM
What is this Micronesia?
 
2009-12-12 12:55:53 AM
Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.


Don't do it. CANNOT BE UNSEEN
 
2009-12-12 12:56:36 AM
Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.


I did it with safe search off. There's more than one picture of the NSFW sanity-harming variety.

\still confused about the walrus with the bowtie
 
2009-12-12 01:02:05 AM
Egalitarian: Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.

I did it with safe search off. There's more than one picture of the NSFW sanity-harming variety.

\still confused about the walrus with the bowtie


Why...why do I do these things? Now I'm going to have walrus nightmares.
 
2009-12-12 01:02:28 AM
He should have broken into his dad's house, stolen the keys to the museum, and then walked in like he was supposed to be there.
 
2009-12-12 01:03:31 AM
StrangeQ: Egalitarian: Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.

I did it with safe search off. There's more than one picture of the NSFW sanity-harming variety.

\still confused about the walrus with the bowtie

Why...why do I do these things? Now I'm going to have walrus nightmares.


If the walrus is what's on your mind then you didn't curiously enlarge the "happy birthday" one. I feel ill.
 
2009-12-12 01:05:18 AM
I was going to submit this earlier, but knowing all parties.
I thought I would let this puppy ride.
/not surprized.
//drunk
///spwnding wagwr monwy wqwlll earnwsded

so
saw
it
commmion
 
2009-12-12 01:10:30 AM
Oh and subby, I see what you did there.

I read the old Conan paperbacks with the Frazetta covers. The stories were peppered with racism and sexism* so bad it's laughable, but some of the stories were entertaining for the action & fantasy.

"Vale of Lost Women" is a particularly egregious one where a white virgin girl is kidnapped by pirates and sold to a black chief. He's going to marry and bed her after a typical 30's Hollywood style African village ritual. Conan wanders in, kills the chief for kidnapping a white girl, and is going to rescue her. But she's frightened by his manliness and runs away into the jungle. She stumbles on a Lovecraftian cult of brown-skinned lesbians who want to steal her soul. Conan rescues her yet again and she acquiesces to his protection.

The implicit moral of the story was, surrender to the he-man white guy, because your other options are to be raped by a black dude or fall victim to ethnic lesbians who worship a Great Old One.
 
2009-12-12 01:10:40 AM
StrangeQ: Egalitarian: Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.

I did it with safe search off. There's more than one picture of the NSFW sanity-harming variety.

\still confused about the walrus with the bowtie

Why...why do I do these things? Now I'm going to have walrus nightmares.


So was Paul the Walrus, or was it John?

/chooga
//chooga chooga
 
2009-12-12 01:12:02 AM
Damn shame. This yutz deserves a good solid punch in the 'nards... and if Dad is too infirm to do it, then get Boris Vallejo to do it.
 
2009-12-12 01:14:04 AM
missmarsha: Poor Frank. Ellie was his greatest fan and protector, now that she's gone the vultures are circling

I used to manage an estate for a senior dentist. Right after his wife passed away and he went into the hospital for a bypass, his kids descended on the place and started fighting over who was going to get what.
One night I went out for dinner and when I came back, I found the kids tearing the little caretaker's cabin where I lived apart and boxing up their picks of my personal possessions to take home with them.
The next day I mailed the Doctor his keys and stayed with a friend until I found another place to live.
 
2009-12-12 01:18:41 AM
The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair?
 
2009-12-12 01:20:24 AM
Coelacanth: missmarsha: Poor Frank. Ellie was his greatest fan and protector, now that she's gone the vultures are circling

I used to manage an estate for a senior dentist. Right after his wife passed away and he went into the hospital for a bypass, his kids descended on the place and started fighting over who was going to get what.
One night I went out for dinner and when I came back, I found the kids tearing the little caretaker's cabin where I lived apart and boxing up their picks of my personal possessions to take home with them.
The next day I mailed the Doctor his keys and stayed with a friend until I found another place to live.


For a second I thought you meant Frazetta's kids were stealing your stuff, not the dentist's kids.

So, did you get your stuff back???
 
2009-12-12 01:22:26 AM
I am the walrus.

Woo woo ga joob
 
2009-12-12 01:22:29 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-12-12 01:23:16 AM
Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.


I'm browsing the "Conan! What is best in life?" topics on that blog, and I don't really understand why Warren Ellis would have such posts on his blog. Very strange.
 
2009-12-12 01:32:49 AM
rebelyell2006: Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MaudlinMutantMollusk: crab66: Holy Christ on a cracker. I GIS'd "what is best in life" and result 10 and 12 cannot be unseen.

Damn...
I just had to try it.

/WTF???

I guess you mean without safe search. I tried it and the only creepy one was a udder boobed person from Warren Ellis' blog.

I'm browsing the "Conan! What is best in life?" topics on that blog, and I don't really understand why Warren Ellis would have such posts on his blog. Very strange.


And why someone would manually reroute his urethra is beyond me. Why? What purpose could such an action serve? Why would someone permanently damage their genitals is such a manner? They would lose sensitivity, so it can't be sexual.

And cutting off one's nipples and preserving them in resin... well that is just utterly pointless.
 
2009-12-12 01:38:37 AM
rebelyell2006: And why someone would manually reroute his urethra is beyond me. Why? What purpose could such an action serve? Why would someone permanently damage their genitals is such a manner? They would lose sensitivity, so it can't be sexual.

My guess was a newly-post-op FtM transgender who wanted to experiment with their new toy...

/You think that's bad, do NOT look up "penis splitting".
//Really.
//No, I mean it. Damn body modders took that one too far.
 
2009-12-12 01:43:18 AM
$20 MM? Really? That's a quarter million each. I know fantasy art is a real genre collector-wise (prolly because all the '70's and '80's D&Ders went on to work for MSFT or cofound a dot-com), but really? Or are they using the same math they use to mark the "street value" of marijuana busts?
 
2009-12-12 01:51:16 AM
I have passed another personal Fark milestone! The one where my submission is nixed and then gets greenlighted a few hours later with a different headline.

/maybe that's what the five bucks a month gets you?
 
2009-12-12 01:52:04 AM
Fire and wind come from the sky, from the gods of the sky. But Crom is your god, Crom and he lives in the earth. Once, giants lived in the Earth, Conan. And in the darkness of chaos, they fooled Crom, and they took from him the enigma of steel. Crom was angered. And the Earth shook. Fire and wind struck down these giants, and they threw their bodies into the waters, but in their rage, the gods forgot the secret of steel and left it on the battlefield. We who found it are just men. Not gods. Not giants. Just men. The secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan. You must learn its discipline. For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts.

/This you can trust.
 
2009-12-12 01:52:26 AM
rebelyell2006:And why someone would manually reroute his urethra is beyond me. Why? What purpose could such an action serve? Why would someone permanently damage their genitals is such a manner? They would lose sensitivity, so it can't be sexual.

Ok, because this post was hilariously bizarre (thank you btw), I had to go look, and found WarrenEllis'FarkBlog on Twitter where you may have gotten that from. I went to the wiki link in it. I can't believe I actually put any thought into this, but I think I know: I doubt there would be much, if any loss in sensation, and you'd ejaculate out of your taint so there is considerably less risk of pregnancy without condoms. Unlike a vasectomy, you can easily change your mind and just harvest some to stuff in there if you want to have children later. That, and apparently all the cool kids are doing it.
 
2009-12-12 01:58:46 AM
Manfred J. Hattan: $20 MM? Really? That's a quarter million each. I know fantasy art is a real genre collector-wise (prolly because all the '70's and '80's D&Ders went on to work for MSFT or cofound a dot-com), but really? Or are they using the same math they use to mark the "street value" of marijuana busts?

Frazetta was not an idiot, and fantasy artists do study the techniques of art, unlike you. For example, you wouldn't be dumb enough to make your remark about Picasso, despite the simplicity of many of his expensive pieces.
 
2009-12-12 02:01:38 AM
Butthurt D&Der detected.
 
2009-12-12 02:03:27 AM
uncletogie: rebelyell2006: And why someone would manually reroute his urethra is beyond me. Why? What purpose could such an action serve? Why would someone permanently damage their genitals is such a manner? They would lose sensitivity, so it can't be sexual.

My guess was a newly-post-op FtM transgender who wanted to experiment with their new toy...

/You think that's bad, do NOT look up "penis splitting".
//Really.
//No, I mean it. Damn body modders took that one too far.


I actually looked at all of the "Conan! What is best in life" posts on that blog, so I saw the splitting, the cutting, all the various genital mutilations. And the guy still had his genitals in that picture. It was not a transgendering picture. I'll link you to it, so you can see what I meant.

Here, you get to the blog post, and then you can find the link to the picture in question. (nsfw)
 
2009-12-12 02:03:46 AM
Manfred J. Hattan: $20 MM? Really? That's a quarter million each. I know fantasy art is a real genre collector-wise (prolly because all the '70's and '80's D&Ders went on to work for MSFT or cofound a dot-com), but really? Or are they using the same math they use to mark the "street value" of marijuana busts?

You're a giant retard with no opinion of your own, too stupid to know good stuff when you see it.
 
2009-12-12 02:05:12 AM
Egalitarian: So, did you get your stuff back???

I got most of it back. I didn't lose any family heirlooms, but it was pretty annoying. But what's happening to Frank Frazetta I've seen happen before to older wealthier neighbors cursed with adult children who have overblown entitlement issues.
 
2009-12-12 02:12:06 AM
SuperCatBarf: Manfred J. Hattan: $20 MM? Really? That's a quarter million each. I know fantasy art is a real genre collector-wise (prolly because all the '70's and '80's D&Ders went on to work for MSFT or cofound a dot-com), but really? Or are they using the same math they use to mark the "street value" of marijuana busts?

You're a giant retard with no opinion of your own, too stupid to know good stuff when you see it.


What's really funny about you cheeto-stained retards is that I didn't even proffer an opinion about the artwork -- I merely remarked that a real money market for it existed whereas it didn't used to, offered an opinion (probably a correct one -- or do you think the Met and the National Portrait Gallery are buying this stuff up?) and wondered whether the estimates were accurate.
 
2009-12-12 02:19:22 AM
Manfred J. Hattan: SuperCatBarf: Manfred J. Hattan: $20 MM? Really? That's a quarter million each. I know fantasy art is a real genre collector-wise (prolly because all the '70's and '80's D&Ders went on to work for MSFT or cofound a dot-com), but really? Or are they using the same math they use to mark the "street value" of marijuana busts?

You're a giant retard with no opinion of your own, too stupid to know good stuff when you see it.

What's really funny about you cheeto-stained retards is that I didn't even proffer an opinion about the artwork -- I merely remarked that a real money market for it existed whereas it didn't used to, offered an opinion (probably a correct one -- or do you think the Met and the National Portrait Gallery are buying this stuff up?) and wondered whether the estimates were accurate.


This. I figure a work of art is monetarily "worth" what someone is willing to pay for it. As these paintings yet remain unsold, I suppose that their "worth" can only be estimated by offers that have been made and rejected.
 
2009-12-12 02:20:00 AM
Oh, such devotion from the youth!
I shed a tear at their frustration.

/Not really, burn in the pit unworthy spawn!!!


//Really.
 
2009-12-12 02:22:20 AM
Sorely disappointed with the lack of Frazetta art in this thread.

farm4.static.flickr.com

/hot like the Huntress
 
2009-12-12 02:24:01 AM
hipgnostic: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

done in three
 
2009-12-12 02:36:21 AM
www.mzeus.com
?
/Ohhh, a BACKHOE!
//nvm
 
2009-12-12 02:44:50 AM
I only met Frank Frazetta once, briefly at the Pittsburgh Comicon, several years back. Spoke to him in the restaurant at the con hotel and he seemed most gracious even though I was intruding on his after dinner table conversation.

I saw Frank Jr. several times over that same 3 day weekend. He seemed to consistently be either drunk or stoned. Saw him passed out on a couch in the hospitality suite. Saw him being very obnoxious in the hotel lounge. Saw him fall off of a chair during the charity auction.

No real point to relating this experience.
I'm just saying...
 
2009-12-12 02:48:17 AM
www.coverbrowser.com

Now that I take a serious look at VOL. 1, I got to say Conan looks pretty wimpy on this cover.

/Conan has stick legs
//sword is to small
///what's with the shiatty belt dagger?
////that biatch is gonna be tripping him up
//her tits are way to small
//what was this thread about??
 
2009-12-12 03:13:53 AM
Raedon: Now that I take a serious look at VOL. 1, I got to say Conan looks pretty wimpy on this cover.

/Conan has stick legs
//sword is to small
///what's with the shiatty belt dagger?
////that biatch is gonna be tripping him up
//her tits are way to small
//what was this thread about??


WTF is up with the old man legs on him?
Whoever drew that, sucks so much at proportions and shadowing, I can't believe he was hired by anyone. Did no one call him on it before they printed? Seriously?
 
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