Why, I do believe we've found a legitimate foundation upon which to build a poop thread.

I stood for the longest time, no idea why its just the way I did it. Now I sit.

wouldn't standing push the cheeks together, thus making wiping more difficult?

Barbigazi: I stood for the longest time, no idea why its just the way I did it.

Because you were potty trained that way and then figured out you didn't have to stand anymore. Same as me.

Kinda awkward that we've shared that with each other, huh? I don't even think my wife knows that about me. She probably doesn't want to know that about me either.

Nabb1: Barbigazi: I stood for the longest time, no idea why its just the way I did it.

Because you were potty trained that way and then figured out you didn't have to stand anymore. Same as me.

Kinda awkward that we've shared that with each other, huh? I don't even think my wife knows that about me. She probably doesn't want to know that about me either.

Yeah, um...should we hug or something?

Oh, and

Wait -- one just doesn't scrape one's anus on the edge of the soap dispenser?

I owe the good people of Stuckey's an apology.

I'm having a harder time figuring out why this is on Deadspin...

OK, I'm perplexed enough by this standing thing. I've never heard of anyone doing that in my f*cking life, and if you do it, you're probably a communist or a child molester. But this takes the cake:

I returned home and launched an investigation into the Stand vs. Sit question that has been going on for the past 5 years. I have talked to friends, friends of friends, random people at bars, etc. I was, and continue to be, completely farking fascinated by these results. . .

- There is a 50/50 split between sitters and standers
- Each half is completely unaware the other half exists
- Amongst the standers there is a 50/50 split between those that simply stand up and those that stand, turn, and face the toilet.

What in the name of blue f*ck would you do that for?

God, people are weird.

Now that I think about it I recall wiping while sitting down was what girls did.

Maybe I was trained wrong? ZOMG I'm going into therapy now.

Barbigazi: Nabb1: Barbigazi: I stood for the longest time, no idea why its just the way I did it.

Because you were potty trained that way and then figured out you didn't have to stand anymore. Same as me.

Kinda awkward that we've shared that with each other, huh? I don't even think my wife knows that about me. She probably doesn't want to know that about me either.

Yeah, um...should we hug or something?

No, but if anything bad ever happens to you, I solemnly swear I shall avenge you.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Wait -- one just doesn't scrape one's anus on the edge of the soap dispenser?

I owe the good people of Stuckey's an apology.

The soda in my nose it burns

What if you stand, but bend over for the reach in between the legs and up?

Nabb1: Barbigazi: Nabb1: Barbigazi: I stood for the longest time, no idea why its just the way I did it.

Because you were potty trained that way and then figured out you didn't have to stand anymore. Same as me.

Kinda awkward that we've shared that with each other, huh? I don't even think my wife knows that about me. She probably doesn't want to know that about me either.

Yeah, um...should we hug or something?

No, but if anything bad ever happens to you, I solemnly swear I shall avenge you.

And I you.

ne2d: Main Page Poop Thread? Seriously?

The difference is that this is actually funny.

I do the one-cheek wipe. Lean over to the left, left cheek still on the seat, right cheek up in the air, reach back with my right hand and wipe the browneye clean.

The more I've had a chance for this to sink in, the more perplexing it becomes. This is a bombshell. I feel like I just found out I was adopted or something. My foundations have been shaken.

Now, I'm not going to get into all the reasons why, if you're a "stander," you have mental problems, but rest assured that you do. Let's just accept that premise.

The concept of standing is fraught with so many logistical challenges and pointless barriers to successful completion of the act that it's not even worth discussing it's possible benefits. There are none. I can't think of one possible reason anyone, let alone 40% of the male population, would stand other than perhaps a history of psychosexual abuse.

I cannot believe that this 40% figure could be accurate. No, I refuse to accept it. To accept it would be to call into question everything I believe. I don't think I want to live in a world where 40% of men are "standers."

This had to go green. Had to. We need answers from you so-called "standers" right f*cking now. Front and center.

What the f*ck is wrong with you people?

This weekend a couple friends of mine tried to play a joke on me by saying I was weird for sitting on the toilet seat while pooping instead of sitting on the rim, and seeing if they could convince me that I was weird for using the toilet seat. Turns out what gave them that idea was that one of them actually knew some Asian guy who didn't know what the toilet seat was for. He thought it was a "seat protector" that you put down when you pee so you don't piss on the rim of the toilet. Then when he had to poop, he would sit on the rim of the toilet. My friend said it took five people to convince the guy that he was doing it wrong and the toilet seat was meant to be sat on, not used as a "seat protector". I was tempted to try this method of pooping in my bathroom but then I remembered how much piss I would be sitting on, plus running the risk of falling in the toilet.

Lolz.

DrySocket: AdolfOliverPanties: I do the one-cheek wipe. Lean over to the left, left cheek still on the seat, right cheek up in the air, reach back with my right hand and wipe the browneye clean.

I assumed everyone did this. Standing whilst wiping is crazy talk!

Heres an addendum question. Do you fold or bunch the paper to wipe?

Paper?

thompsonius: It eliminates the natural cheek-compression brought on by standing straight up

So does sitting.

Next.

I actually lay down.

It's more relaxing that way. Like you're sunbathing on a beach somewhere in a hammock, dozing the day away and wiping your butt.

I do both.

I'm standbidextrous

I had a friend who used to always stand to wipe. It wasn't because of how he was raised, or race or anything like that. No, he stood so he could check out his handiwork and if he was suitably impressed, he would move to the next stall over and wipe there leaving his magnificence for all to see.

Now THAT is a man and a half. I'd shake his hand for that. I do like the diea of standing for admiration. When you sit and try and peek, you kinda stare between your legs, but your ass shades your project.

ne2d: Main Page Poop Thread? Seriously?


I'm in!

My friends and I once spent an entire afternoon discussing it, and the emerging theory was that it was a function of height. If you're 5'10 or over, you stand. If you're under, you sit. One corollary: fat people sit regardless.

I think I believe this. it's just awkward.

It seems way more effort to do while sitting. You have to adjust your weight from one side to the other. Also, how do you know when you're done? Do you bring it back out?

sponkster: I actually take a hybrid approach to the situation. I sit and wipe a few times to knock the big chunks off, then I stand and finish the job.

Me too. Just seems like the most efficient way to do things.

What about semi-squatting?

/What if I use a belt sander?