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(ABC News)   Man finds beaver on porch, called "the most amazing thing."   ( ) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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104 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2003 at 9:09 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-03-30 04:00:52 AM  
What kind of beaver was this?
2003-03-30 04:18:43 AM  
Nothing like a good beaver.
2003-03-30 04:43:17 AM  
"there's nothing wet nearby..."

2003-03-30 05:19:41 AM  
Save a tree...
Eat a beaver
2003-03-30 05:20:26 AM  
He should have slaughtered the stupid beast and served it up for dinner. That'll teach those bastards to STAY WHERE THEY BELONG!
2003-03-30 08:14:34 AM  
Aw c'mon, like we all wouldn't like to be surprised by finding a little beaver around the house....
2003-03-30 08:32:57 AM  
I don't think a beaver the size of a cocker spaniel qualifies as "little".

But hey... if that's your thinkg man... go for it...
2003-03-30 09:11:48 AM  
must be a fellow Canadian *rolleyes*
2003-03-30 09:13:56 AM  
No, wait...nevermind!
2003-03-30 09:14:38 AM  
But did he eat it?
2003-03-30 09:15:30 AM  
Must... resist... innuendo... Must... use the word "beaver"... in context...

My brother was once chased by coyotes in our backyard (or so he says). Then again, I live in the middle of nowhere, i.e., Minnesota.
2003-03-30 09:18:46 AM  
Heh, that's nothing, I got one laying in bed next to me!!!
2003-03-30 09:19:00 AM  
Beavers with teeth scare me, but cmon who hasnt woken up to some beaver in their house?

Leave it to that wacky wet beaver.
2003-03-30 09:19:02 AM  
Leave it to ABC to post a story like this... Must be a slow news day...
2003-03-30 09:19:03 AM  
2003-03-30 09:22:31 AM  
Damnit! BigG You beat me to it!
2003-03-30 09:25:52 AM  
"C'mon Beave,get back home..."

[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 09:28:01 AM  
March 25, 2003 (Kennewick, Washington) - What's a nice beaver like you doing in place like this?

Ken Taylor can't figure how a water-loving beaver ended up on his front porch in a desert city. Taylor lives in Kennewick, Washington, and says there's nothing wet nearby.

1. Why the hell do they have to mention this town twice?? Are our attention spans really that short? ;)

2. Just reading those two paragraphs I could think of a zillion "alternative" meanings...

3. Desert? Washington?? Huh???
2003-03-30 09:31:36 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 09:31:43 AM  
Huh huh huh huh yea yea he said beaver.

Wow, I have beavers in my backyard also, they been working over the trees falling them in the river. Last night I had a racoon get into my garbage can again. I'm going to shoot his dumb ass.--none(I like to eat beaver)
2003-03-30 09:37:17 AM  
I like to eat beaver

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.... oh man I'm falling from my chair...

Oh wait, you meant that? :p
2003-03-30 09:38:34 AM  
That last post was supposed to be sarcastic and really funny...don't you guys get the humor in that???

/caffeine buzz
2003-03-30 09:40:27 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 09:40:32 AM  
GIS for "Eager Beaver". Ooh-er.

img src="">
2003-03-30 09:42:59 AM  
I just love HTML

[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 09:43:00 AM  
I woke up and found a beaver in my bed!
2003-03-30 09:43:29 AM  
I love this series.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 09:44:24 AM  
Hey! You guys haven't changed your clocks yet. Doncha know it's summer?

/Off thread
2003-03-30 09:44:40 AM  
Gee, Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?
2003-03-30 09:47:19 AM  
"Taylor says the animal was gigantic, about the size of a cocker spaniel."

What??? I love this guy's frame of refernce!
GIGANTIC = puny puppy
2003-03-30 09:48:07 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Gee, Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?

/now with html goodness
2003-03-30 09:53:31 AM  
Very nice, very nice, now back to my bah mitzvah.
2003-03-30 10:03:12 AM  
The beaver is a natural engineer. It's been the mascot for MIT since 1864. The MIT class ring is called the "brass rat" because thought they are different every year, they always feature the beaver. In 1979, MIT pranksters welded a brass rat on the ring finger of the statue of John Harvard in front of University Hall.
2003-03-30 10:08:07 AM  
Thanks Sherlock, You really do learn something new every day... Bring it on Jeopardy...
2003-03-30 10:34:39 AM  
Beavers are cool....
2003-03-30 10:41:19 AM  
Taylor says the animal was gigantic, about the size of a cocker spaniel.

Since when were cocker spaniels considered 'gigantic'?
2003-03-30 10:42:29 AM  
If I found a beaver on my porch, I'd hit it.
2003-03-30 10:44:19 AM  
and released it into a local pond.
"Hey maaaw, I still dunno where dis here beaver from, but these animal control guys say dey gonno release into dat pond, right b'side are house..."
2003-03-30 10:50:30 AM  
However, finding a beaver near the back door would not quite as amazing.
2003-03-30 11:02:29 AM  
Beaver-jokes aside, this man is an idiot. I was just in Kennewick and there is a big, huge river cutting straight through the city. I bet this idiot thinks beavers live in the ocean.
2003-03-30 11:46:25 AM  
Maybe the guy is wealthy. That is what the beavers around here look for.
2003-03-30 11:53:19 AM  
I was just at a surf camp in New Zealand and there was just myself and another girl in the class. We were both Canadian. After telling the Kiwi instructor this he says: "You're beavers then." There was a long, long pause and he added: "Well, New Zealanders are 'Kiwis' so do Canadians call themselves 'Beavers'?" I realised that he had no familiarity with the North American slang. I was going to explain to him that it probably wasn't wise to call a Canadian girl a 'beaver' but then I thought there would be more comedy in him learning the hard way.

Of course it goes both ways, since our "Roots" athletic wear gets plenty of snickers down under where 'root' means 'fark'.'
2003-03-30 12:08:48 PM  
He should have gone "Lord of the Flies" on that beaver's ass. Nothing like a beaver on a stick. Mmmmmmm, taste the comedy.
2003-03-30 12:10:21 PM  
Nothing wet near by + released into local pond evidently big enough to support beavers...

2003-03-30 12:15:38 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 12:38:48 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 12:39:33 PM  
Yes, you read correctly, Desert in Washington. Once you get past the Cascades, the central to Eastern plains parts of the state are desert. Washington is one of the few places you can train for all four seasons, and multiple types of terrain.
2003-03-30 01:43:11 PM  
Taylor says the animal was gigantic, about the size of a cocker spaniel.

Thats kinda small, musta still been in like the 3rd or 4th grade
2003-03-30 01:52:28 PM  
Beaver is amazing. Shouldn't this be [image from too old to be available]?
2003-03-30 02:18:41 PM  
...go beavers...
2003-03-30 02:22:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Hmm. Is it just me, or does the text on the coin appear to say "scents"?

Yes, indeedy... Nothing like the scents of a beaver.
2003-03-30 02:27:54 PM  
He should have gone "Lord of the Flies" on that beaver's ass. Nothing like a beaver on a stick. Mmmmmmm, taste the comedy.

2003-03-30 02:43:58 PM  
NO NO NO! You've got to read the version I submitted where the guy finds the beaver and GIVES IT AN APPLE!!!

Beavers eat apples?
2003-03-30 02:56:45 PM  
Taylor says he heard some thumping on his porch

There you have it folks. There was a beaver on his porch and someone was hitting it.
2003-03-30 03:35:28 PM  

that was *exactly* what i thought.
so i'm not the only one with dirty thoughts here on fark...

gotta listen to a song now.
2003-03-30 05:30:20 PM
2003-03-30 06:35:51 PM  
Dude, I'm totally from that area (Richland)... maybe I shouldn't be so excited. Yeah, that's the average newsworthy story in the area, and the area is not a desert, it's steppe :). As to how the beaver ended up at his porch, the river doesn't run by every part of the city, so I'm guessing that he doesn't live very close to the river itself, hence the surprise. I'm betting that the beaver is radioactive, they are probably keeping it on the dl though.
2003-03-30 06:54:49 PM  
He called local animal control, and got a promise the critter wouldn't be killed. Officers captured the beaver and released it into a local pond.

Um... How did all of you miss that already?
2003-03-30 08:07:29 PM  

they DIDN'T miss it. . .
2003-03-30 10:29:33 PM  
I'm guessing some of you'd be surprised to suddenly find a beaver near you too!

2003-03-30 11:01:38 PM  
"He calls his beaver tale "the most amazing thing." Beaver tail, beaver tale! Get it? You know, they have large, broad tails... Ha, Oh well, I thought it was funny.
2003-03-31 02:31:22 AM  
Wondering if anyone remembers Disco Beaver from Outer Space.
The first HBO made "movie"
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