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(   Marines grow mustaches in order to foil Iraqi plan to pin war crimes on U.S. forces   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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127 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2003 at 1:25 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

99 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-29 07:33:54 PM  
"That is about the dumbest thing I have heard in my entire life," groused one lance corporal upon receiving the word.

He isn't the only one that thinks that.
2003-03-29 08:06:02 PM  
Not even Gomer Pile would've had much faith in that plan.

You'd think they could have come up with something a little better, like a "Made in America" patch written in Arabic, or a picture of Bart Simpson on their helmets.
2003-03-30 12:12:05 AM  
And it would have worked too if it weren't for you meddlesome kids!
2003-03-30 01:06:49 AM  
"That way, if any atrocities were committed by mustached troops in U.S. military uniform, the world would know they were the work of Iraqis."

This hurts my head on too many levels.
2003-03-30 01:28:16 AM  
American WoMD: Weapons of Mustache Deception....
2003-03-30 01:29:22 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Did Someone say bomb?
2003-03-30 01:30:22 AM  
I wish I wasn't an American. Why couldn't I have been born somewhere else? A country whose top military brass doesn't have sitcom writers planning their war for them would be nice. Maybe I'll move to Chile.
2003-03-30 01:32:36 AM  
To think that the asshat who thought of this idea is drawing a salary while I cant find a job makes my stomach turn.
2003-03-30 01:33:01 AM  
Rival: Have a nice trip.
2003-03-30 01:33:42 AM  
Hey how 'bout this:
American soldiers put on Iraqi Uniforms, then Iraqi's think they better put on Iraqi Uniforms too, but THEN US Soldiers take off Iraqi uniforms and put on US Uniforms!
Smart, eh?
2003-03-30 01:36:13 AM  
see, this is what's wrong with the media! clue them in to the whole story and they blow the entire wad prematurely. Had they left out the sting, I'm sure the I raqi's would have fallen for it.

/poker face
2003-03-30 01:37:20 AM  
don't they all have moustaches already?
2003-03-30 01:38:06 AM  
Danielscissorhands: that sounds like a better plan
2003-03-30 01:39:45 AM  

"They'll never pin even a littering charge on me."

[image from too old to be available]

2003-03-30 01:39:46 AM  
Spoofman: I'll send you a postcard from whatever city in Chile I end up in. They do have cities in Chile....right?
2003-03-30 01:40:03 AM  
Why thank you. :)
2003-03-30 01:41:18 AM  
Rival: Beats me. Not my concern. I'll even help pack. We could use the room.
2003-03-30 01:41:25 AM  
I wish Rival wasn't an American.
2003-03-30 01:41:57 AM  
hmm...if the iraqis are cheating there little asses off during this war y the hell dont we? i mean come on....fake a surrender then open fire is about as low as you can go. i think it might be our turn to fight dirty
2003-03-30 01:42:58 AM  
Mmmm, Chile!
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 01:43:10 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
That bastard.
2003-03-30 01:43:50 AM  
We can't exactly pull off the same tactics.

We see Iraqi's surrendering we offer them quarter (At least we did, who knows how we're handling it now).

They see American's surrending, they offer them a bullet to the noggin.

Kind of hard to ambush them after that.
2003-03-30 01:43:56 AM  
Rival: bye
2003-03-30 01:44:28 AM  
I was just thinking the same thing.
2003-03-30 01:45:31 AM  
Join the military, visit exotic locations, meet new and interesting people. Grow a mustache, and kill those people.
2003-03-30 01:45:42 AM  
good riddance of Rival. must've been some french descent.
2003-03-30 01:46:00 AM  
Great minds think alike, but fool's minds seldom differ.

Err... nevermind.
2003-03-30 01:46:11 AM  
Everyone wants to see me off. It's so wonderful! Such an outpouring of emotion and love. Since you're all being so nice, could somebody give me a lift to Chile? I'm afraid to fly and my car is American made, so obviously it's in the shop.

Thanks in advance.
2003-03-30 01:46:33 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
PVC Asshat reporting for duty, sir!
2003-03-30 01:47:52 AM  
"It was the mustache that did it, I SWEAR!"

/the Tick
2003-03-30 01:48:26 AM  
Andonbray: Rival's not an American, he just lives in America... for now.
2003-03-30 01:48:53 AM  
Rival: Don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.
2003-03-30 01:49:49 AM  
Everyone lay off Rival... it is possible to support the troops, yet think that this is an utterly stupid war. I am an American, but I did NOT elect the jackhole that is in office. Come to think of it, no one did... he was selected.

And the mustache gag seems just about par for the course.
2003-03-30 01:50:37 AM  
Meanwhile at the United States of Mustachios School...
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 01:51:24 AM  

I was waiting for this.
The problem isn't with his Anti-War/American/Goverment opinion. It's the fact that he chooses to live in America, then complains about it.

He wants to leave, then leave.
2003-03-30 01:51:41 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

and then:

[image from too old to be available]

Such resemblence! I mean, with the mustache... and the...thing...

/meaningless comparison
2003-03-30 01:51:56 AM  
America could have dropped in and taken the fields in uniforms without pants. Then the Iraqis would do the same and commit crimes. Then Americans would have pants on, so the world would know the truth!
2003-03-30 01:52:23 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

How high would the Groucho company stock have risen?
2003-03-30 01:53:33 AM  
Ah, Spoofman. Can't we run off to Chile together? We could spend the day calling each other by our Fark login names while arguing about silly things like America. It would be a dream come true.
2003-03-30 01:54:35 AM  
I'll pass.
2003-03-30 01:54:48 AM  
I say we get those bastards![image from too old to be available]

"Let's Roll!"
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-30 01:54:58 AM  
This actually sounds like it could work to a degree. Oh except that the mainstream media reported it.
2003-03-30 01:57:20 AM  

It's still a really stupid idea that would work only if the Iraqis were also really stupid.
2003-03-30 01:57:45 AM  
Um, what about the women marines and women army soldiers ? Does this mean they are forced to get a... Dirty Sanchez ?
2003-03-30 01:59:45 AM  
RobbieFal, I'm not trying to get into a flame war or pissing contest- but little things like this work to a degree when you have cut of centralized leadership in a combat zone.
2003-03-30 02:01:24 AM  
Power Mustache
Mustache is a symbol of repression and of hate Never trust a man with a butt
broom on his face It's the facial marking of the man who holds you down The
source of all your problems, every city, every town Stalin, Hitler, Schneider,
just to name a few got to kill the mustache before it grows on you Fight!
The mustache power! (x3) Fight! Fight! Fight! Mustache is authority The world
is run by assholes They try to run our lives from their golden mustache
castles The Dark Prince was a nazi, his mustache true to form instead of arm-
band swastikas, mouse ears must be worn He terminates employees with the hair
above his lip cuz in the Fuhrer's kingdom it's dictatorship We should take his
frozen corpse and shave his fascist face and make the magic kingdom a truly
happy place Fight! The mustache power! (x3) Fight! Fight! Fight! Pigs across
the nation dressed in uniform with their gun and badges, a mustache must be
worn they beat the population with their clubs inflicting pain with mustache
anonymity, they all look the same we must join together till the mustache is
removed and then we'll have a party with beer and chicks and food.Fight the
power! Fight the power mustache! Fight the power! Fight the power mustache!
-The Vandals
2003-03-30 02:03:19 AM  
Why not just wear those blue uniforms from Street Fighter the movie? Then when the Iraqis wore those we could laugh at them for wearing blue in the desert.
2003-03-30 02:04:10 AM  
Operation Mustache was only a teaser. Wait till you feel the shock and awe of Operation Soul Patch.
2003-03-30 02:04:22 AM  
Let's all download Power Mustache by the Vandals, shall we?
2003-03-30 02:04:35 AM  
In a related story, the us claims to have killed 37 Iraqis dressed as US soldiers with mustaches.

37 us troops now missing frendly fire said to be the culpret.
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