Sounds like someone knew his sample would come up dirty. Good method to buy extra time.

"Oh my God! That's not pudding, that's my stool sample!"

urine trouble now!

Godammit I hate when people take things out of the fridge that aren't theirs, especially at work. I know this is different than taking someones lunch, but just felt like venting.

At least it's usually sterile?

Mulder, if this is monkey pee, you're on your own.

Gatorade?

Mormons!

What you did there, subby...I see it.

/+#1

Someone didn't want to get caught

/master of the obvious

MasterThief: Should have done a pH test on it before they took it.

/they would have found it was all p, no H

That... was terrible....


lol'd, aswell

I once drank a bottle of apple juice from the honor bar at a hotel room I was staying in. I replaced it...

The oriental guy in the next cubie was saving it to make his joke.

"I'm sorry officer I thought it was apple juice."

Not impressed.

Pair-o-Dice: I once drank a bottle of apple juice from the honor bar at a hotel room I was staying in. I replaced it...



So wrong...

My Bad.

Pee is a funny word.

idrow: Godammit I hate when people take things out of the fridge that aren't theirs, especially at work. I know this is different than taking someones lunch, but just felt like venting.

Funny cool story bro:

When my wife was pregnant she had to do non-stress tests. One of these tests spanned 3 days and she was required to collect all her urine in a large orange bottle labeled "biohazard". She was still working at the time and the bottle was supposed to be kept cool so she jokingly put the container in the refrigerator while she was getting her coffee and played dumb while everyone was making gagging noises. (the bottle was empty and still sealed when she put it in there) She has a warped sense of humor.

ok, so pee isn't as funny as poo. FWIW, piss is only sterile when it first exits the body, it's game-on when it hits the air.

Aw, gross. Growing up, the last time I ever ate anything from my parents' fridge was the day before I found out my stepdad left one of his turds in there. No kidding. I'm sure it was a medically-required stool sample, but c'mon.

it's sterile and I like the taste.

/hot, like a steaming bowl of piss

And the #2 reason would be...?

#2 reason: it might be poo.

/Cool story bro

My husband got mad at a co-worker who kept taking his lunch. So one day he put oil inside a bottle and put his name on it. When he came to get his lucnh it looked like someone had taken a big gulp of it. No one ever said anything but he heard that there was a guy out back puking all over the place.
/short

I always kept a spray bottle of pee handy for jellyfish stings when I lived in Hawaii. My mom came to visit once and thought it was window cleaner. It stunk like four male cats lived there after that.

is he drinking his own urine? you betcha.

/hot

idrow: Godammit I hate when people take things out of the fridge that aren't theirs, especially at work. I know this is different than taking someones lunch, but just felt like venting.

Yeah, had that problem too. Laced a sammich with "Dave's Insanity Sauce" and left it in the fridge.

Never found the lunch thief, but ever had a problem with my food being stolen again.

Bodine Wilson: #2 reason: it might be poo.

I'm not sure if that was in response to my post or if it was just very well timed. Bravo.

/+2 4 U

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"
George replied, "God and me are tight He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I'm done."
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.
Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?"
Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

heliokekaumenos: /Cool story bro

My husband got mad at a co-worker who kept taking his lunch. So one day he put oil inside a bottle and put his name on it. When he came to get his lucnh it looked like someone had taken a big gulp of it. No one ever said anything but he heard that there was a guy out back puking all over the place.
/short

I hope it was at least vegetable oil or something non-toxic anyway. =S

/lol

idrow: Godammit I hate when people take things out of the fridge that aren't theirs, especially at work. I know this is different than taking someones lunch, but just felt like venting.

At work I like to bring in food, like vegetables or fruit, stick in the back of the fridge and leave it there to rot. Sure it is passive agressive douche baggery, but hey it is all I got.

What a dip shiat, if you went to all the trouble of breaking in why not just mix all the samples togther in one big bowl and then pour them back into the cups?

Let me take that urine, Frank.

The_Sponge: Too bad czar isn't here to tell us how drinking your own urine is beneficial.

No, really, it's not too bad.

burncheese: heliokekaumenos: /Cool story bro

My husband got mad at a co-worker who kept taking his lunch. So one day he put oil inside a bottle and put his name on it. When he came to get his lucnh it looked like someone had taken a big gulp of it. No one ever said anything but he heard that there was a guy out back puking all over the place.
/short

I hope it was at least vegetable oil or something non-toxic anyway. =S

/lol

I would have used mineral oil. Look for the guy crapping out a lung.

....L, M, N, Oh, Pee!

That's actually the number 3 reason

Number 1 reason: It might be poison
Number 2 reason: It might be poo (number 2, snicker)
Number 3 reason: It might be pee

/Number 4000 reason: It might be giants

fedexrico: That... was terrible.... lol'd, aswell

that was ... in a recent episode of South Park (the name of the episode is "Pee")

Slaves2Darkness: idrow: Godammit I hate when people take things out of the fridge that aren't theirs, especially at work. I know this is different than taking someones lunch, but just felt like venting.

At work I like to bring in food, like vegetables or fruit, stick in the back of the fridge and leave it there to rot. Sure it is passive aggressive douche baggery, but hey it is all I got.

Guilty of same. The ladies pull out stuff, see the date of expiry was weeks ago and they start chucking it...HEY, I was gonna eat that~ hey, what's this blue fuzz?

Slaves2Darkness: What a dip shiat, if you went to all the trouble of breaking in why not just mix all the samples togther in one big bowl and then pour them back into the cups?

Because then all the samples would turn up positive. And the person saying "Hey maybe someone broke in..." would be the first person suspected of the B&E.

Likely the guy that broke in was facing going back to jail for having a dirty sample. He gambled that he wouldn't get caught and when they went to retest him, whatever he was on will be cleared out.

Back in the before time, a bunch of us were at a friend's house and someone opened the fridge. "Why is there a jar of shiat in your fridge?!?" We all crowded around to look. Sure enough, there was a jar of what appeared to be loose, chunky stool in the fridge. She claimed it was mince meat. Nobody wanted to verify it. Looking back, I'm sure it really was mince meat.

I bet I could come up with a list of 17 possible suspects ...

krusher: Slaves2Darkness: idrow: Godammit I hate when people take things out of the fridge that aren't theirs, especially at work. I know this is different than taking someones lunch, but just felt like venting.

At work I like to bring in food, like vegetables or fruit, stick in the back of the fridge and leave it there to rot. Sure it is passive aggressive douche baggery, but hey it is all I got.

Guilty of same. The ladies pull out stuff, see the date of expiry was weeks ago and they start chucking it...HEY, I was gonna eat that~ hey, what's this blue fuzz?

What would they do with this handy lunch bag?

Once had a co-worker in Denver who stored something in a bag in the fridge that looked sort of like a football. Another worker and I opened it up and discovered a headless duck that had apparently been shot that morning. I never brought my lunch again.

There's a Tony's microwave pizza in the freezer at my work that has been sitting there at least two and a half years. This thread has given me the notion that perhaps now is the time to eat it.

A friend of mine pissed in a bottle at a music festival and then put the bottle in a bag he thought was the bin.

Next day another guy we were camping with found it, proudly exclaimed "There's my energy drink!" and downed half a litre of the stuff before we could stop him.

Ugh.
(Yeah, cool story I know...)

MONSTERTRUCK: I always kept a spray bottle of pee handy for jellyfish stings when I lived in Hawaii. My mom came to visit once and thought it was window cleaner. It stunk like four male cats lived there after that.

FYI, that doesn't even work on jellyfish stings, urban myth. Vinegar is your friend.

And also, vinegar is pretty good for sparkly clean windows! Double win!