Mugato: Sue him for every movie he's been in except Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Con Air and Lord of War. Raising Arizona.

*shot of Nicolas Cage and accountant sitting together at a table with green visors on*

Nicolas Cage: So, looking through the investment portion of my assets here, I notice a substantial portion of my holdings are in mutual funds.

Accountant: That's right.

Nicolas Cage: *shuffles papers* Aaaaand...hmmm. Several of these mutual funds are heavily tilted towards bonds.

Accountant: *adjusts glasses* Hmmmmm yes.

Nicolas Cage: Do you happen to know what credit rating Moody's has given to these bonds?

Accountant: *looks through papers* Hmmmm...oh. Looks like the majority of your bond holdings are rated at BBB-.

Nicolas Cage: *stares blankly*

Nicolas Cage: *twitches*

Nicolas Cage: NO NOT THE BEEEEEEES

jaylectricity: His hair is a bird, your argument is invalid.

You'd figure the lawyer would have found out about the futility of arguing.

Cagey B: *shot of Nicolas Cage and accountant sitting together at a table with green visors on*

Nicolas Cage: So, looking through the investment portion of my assets here, I notice a substantial portion of my holdings are in mutual funds.

Accountant: That's right.

Nicolas Cage: *shuffles papers* Aaaaand...hmmm. Several of these mutual funds are heavily tilted towards bonds.

Accountant: *adjusts glasses* Hmmmmm yes.

Nicolas Cage: Do you happen to know what credit rating Moody's has given to these bonds?

Accountant: *looks through papers* Hmmmm...oh. Looks like the majority of your bond holdings are rated at BBB-.

Nicolas Cage: *stares blankly*

Nicolas Cage: *twitches*

Nicolas Cage: NO NOT THE BEEEEEEES

Awesome, Cagey B. fitting

How the hell can he be broke?

Sorry about the full quote. sugar slump.

"Ladies & gentlemen of the Jury, my hair is a bird.
"The defense rests."

Everytime I read these Nic Cage is broke articles, I just can't believe it. The fact that his movies suck for the past 25 years is no reason. He still gets paid huge sums of money, and most of them make big sums of money.

And I know about all the worthless real estate, but something else must be behind it. And there is, of course, the fact that he is insane.

But still, his manager just had to be bilking him.

So why do you sue for abuse instead of filing a complaint in equity alleging that Nicolas Cage represented to you that he was buying the house for your sole and exclusive use forever? Because you don't actually give a shiat about justice, you want to take a famous dude for a ride.

I hate articles that word things like this: Nicolas Cage's baby mama has sued the "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" star for "mental,

(And I'm not talking about the "baby mama" part, which itself is ridiculous, and has no place in journalism)

Articles that say things like "Amy Winehouse blah blah blah yesterday. "The "Rehab" singer" was blah blah blah...

Just say "the singer", "the actor" etc. If the reader doesn't know that Nicolas Cage is an actor, they probably won't bother reading the article. If they do actually read it, you can simply say that he is an actor. Pointing out the fact that he is in "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans" probably isn't going to turn on any lightbulbs for them.....Oh, that Nicolas Cage!I knew I heard of him somewhere. Not Con-Air. Not Raising Arizona or Moonstruck. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans is the namedrop that is going to make the reader know who Nicolas Cage is.

HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'DITGETBURNEDHOW'DITGETBURNED HOW'D IT GET BURRRRRRNED?

Mugato: Sue him for every movie he's been in except Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Con Air and Lord of War. That may sound like a decent career but considering that he's been in like 700 movies, it's not such a good track record.

/I only directed one film so, shouldn't talk
//not related to Francis Ford Coppola though

The Rock was phenomenally stupid. You've got your soldiers who are so one-dimensionally gung-ho that it renders them idiots in combat, your villain with a completely nonsensical ethics system, and best of all that absurd Donkey Kong coal-cart/flames/gunfight sequence under Alcatraz. That movie took itself way, way too seriously.

I only watched the first few minutes of Con Air, but the sequence that landed him in jail was laughable. What better way to establish his nobility than to get him sent up the river for defending his bride against a gang of thugs? Answer - something remotely plausible.

Cage has been starring in crap movies for years because he can't keep a sane grip on his spending.

Raising Arizona was good.

Mugato: ne2d: Mugato: Sue him for every movie he's been in except Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Con Air and Lord of War. Raising Arizona.

Never saw that but I heard it was good. Didn't think of it.


Turn in your man card. Now.

Mugato: Granted, he'd have to buy a space shuttle full of cocaine but he could do it.

See, had Gary Busey never gone clean we could have enlisted his help here.

Spookync: Turn in your man card. Now.

You need a card to prove you're a man?

As an aside, Cage owned the most haunted house in New Orleans (new window) until it was recently foreclosed upon. Regions Bank owns it now, if anyone wants to make an offer...

Mugato: nosferatublue: ou've got your soldiers who are so one-dimensionally gung-ho that it renders them idiots in combat

You could say that about the space marines in Aliens and that film was generally well received.

What? Are you on the crack cocaine? The marines in Aliens, at least the ones who survived long enough to get to know, were anything but one-dimensional.

Down the Slippery Slope: Spookync: Turn in your man card. Now.

You need a card to prove you're a man?

You didn't get one? IT should have came in the mail after you lost your virginity.

/sorry, had to :P

Someone please explain where the "My hair is a bird, your argument is invalid" meme came from. Guess I haven't on Fark long enough

benlonghair: How the hell can he be broke?

He's not broke. He doesn't have a lot of cash in hand but he has tens of millions in assets. He owns mansions, castles, cars, rare art and collectibles.

Plus he's got 5+ movies coming out in 2010.

It's sucks his manager robbed him but that's what managers do. He might get it back, might not but he can still have 10 million cash in the bank in under 12 months.

Sailor Ripley anyone?

ne2d: Mugato: Sue him for every movie he's been in except Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Con Air and Lord of War. Raising Arizona.

I'll spot him in Matchstick Men and Adaptation as well. He didn't make me unintentionally laugh in those movies at least.

swaxhog: benlonghair: How the hell can he be broke?

He's not broke. He doesn't have a lot of cash in hand but he has tens of millions in assets. He owns mansions, castles, cars, rare art and collectibles.

Plus he's got 5+ movies coming out in 2010.

It's sucks his manager robbed him but that's what managers do. He might get it back, might not but he can still have 10 million cash in the bank in under 12 months.



They're making "Ghost Rider 2". That should make some bank..

/ *cringe*

HawgWild: If memory serves, I liked Weatherman.

Yes - Weatherman is good. He definitely has some good ones under his belt. But his reputation as a good actor was ruined years ago.

But I have been thinking - even the horrible movies that he is in - his role/character in the movie is usually very interesting and entertaining - IF you were the one who was acting in it.

Maybe this is how he picks his roles.

Nicholas Cage is amazing in "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" ... that is all.

/The whole set is a shambles once he's done with the chewing.

Forbidden Doughnut: They're making "Ghost Rider 2". That should make some bank..

Proof there is no god, for a loving a just god would not allow such atrocities on his creations.

beelzebubba76: Nicholas Cage is amazing in "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" ... that is all.

/The whole set is a shambles once he's done with the chewing.

I laughed out loud when I read some of the lines he's got in that movie. I don't know whether that movie looks absolutely horrible or incredibly awesome.

Cagey B: beelzebubba76: Nicholas Cage is amazing in "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" ... that is all.

/The whole set is a shambles once he's done with the chewing.

I laughed out loud when I read some of the lines he's got in that movie. I don't know whether that movie looks absolutely horrible or incredibly awesome.

It is the latter in my humble opinion. Werner Herzog has inspired Cage to do a Klaus Kinski, a man who has stared into the bleak darkness and laughed maniacally.

He joined the WWF. I'll just leave this here.

Mugato: superoogie: What? Are you on the crack cocaine? The marines in Aliens, at least the ones who survived long enough to get to know, were anything but one-dimensional.

They were all morons. And Bill Paxton's character was a coward.

I'm just going to nod soothingly and slowly back away at this point. You have a good day.

His best movies are Wild at Heart, Adaptation, Raising Arizona, Matchstick Men and Bad Lieutenant. About this there can be NO debate.

My bonus guilty pleasure pick: Kiss of Death

I was told there would be no math.

Birdy was pretty decent.

The house was never transferred into her name yet she owes over a million in back taxes? Something doesn't compute.

no love for peggy sue got married?