:( site blocked

Billy Ligue: :( site blocked

Yup...

I've always wanted to get the pointed ear sugery.

Of course I'm a farking elf

can someone post the photos?

ihatedumbpeople: Billy Ligue: :( site blocked

Yup...

Yeah me too. Sigh.

the tongue patch is, well, a patch that's sewn onto your tongue.

If you're thinking people get these to cover the hole from an old tongue piercing, well, that's actually quite a bit less retarded than the real reason. No, the thing is essentially a torture device intended to force you to diet.

Dude. Wouldn't that feel like a cat giving you a blow job?
Please, no one know the answer to that.

Billy Ligue: :( site blocked

Now go find the people that implement your proxy policy and thank them.

Ad for the dog balls...

"Only John Kerr can tell the difference."

Is it wrong that I actually find the "elf girl" a little more attractive with the pointed ears?

/watching too much Lord of the Rings
//Liv Tyler...giggity
//I'll be in my hobbithole.....

man_of_constant_sorrow: Is it wrong that I actually find the "elf girl" a little more attractive with the pointed ears?

I was going to post this, too.

I guess we could both be wrong, but there's no way I'll ever admit to that.

Dude. Wouldn't that feel like a cat giving you a blow job?
Please, no one know the answer to that.

Just stick a little vasaline on his tounge. And of course you might want to consider putting little caps on your feline's sharp little teeth before you try this at home.

Can I add a third testicle to my nut sack? The ladies will love it.

I think.

DirtyOldGeek: Can I add a third testicle to my nut sack? The ladies will love it.

I think.


No. No we wouldn't.

man_of_constant_sorrow: Is it wrong that I actually find the "elf girl" a little more attractive with the pointed ears?

/watching too much Lord of the Rings
//Liv Tyler...giggity
//I'll be in my hobbithole.....

no, because i agree. though two people on fark could be wrong

DirtyOldGeek: Can I add a third testicle to my nut sack? The ladies will love it.

I think.

You need to change your name to Eddie Torres then.

Freeside: man_of_constant_sorrow: Is it wrong that I actually find the "elf girl" a little more attractive with the pointed ears?

/watching too much Lord of the Rings
//Liv Tyler...giggity
//I'll be in my hobbithole.....

no, because i agree. though two people on fark could be wrong


I think that makes it a right.

Can someone repost the pics to tinypic or something?

At what point do you have so many facelifts, that you look in the mirror and say "Holy shiat, I have a cleft chin".

I wonder why they didn't list butt implants? That seems to be far more horrifying than a toe tuck or knee lift.

Poppyale: the tongue patch is, well, a patch that's sewn onto your tongue.

If you're thinking people get these to cover the hole from an old tongue piercing, well, that's actually quite a bit less retarded than the real reason. No, the thing is essentially a torture device intended to force you to diet.

Dude. Wouldn't that feel like a cat giving you a blow job?
Please, no one know the answer to that.

One rainy Friday night about 3 months ago, my cat sitting on my lap purring with pleasure. She looked up at me and I knew it was time. She wanted it and I needed it. I stroked her head and she kneaded my lap to get me started. I had to warn her "no claws" a few times but she got the party started.

I rushed to the kitchen and got myself a can of tuna which I applied vigorously to my growing member. Once I had reached full arousal I slapped the cat a couple times in the head with it and let her smell it. She gave me the nod of approval and I went for it. Now we were both ready.

I tried to nicely jam it in her mouth and that is when I learned my lesson. A barrage of claws coming from all angles mutilated my genitals to the point they were barely recognizable through all of the blood. We now have an understanding that she would not be forced and this must be on her terms.

I wish I could say that is what it would feel like but I have no idea. Once I get the bandages off I may make another attempt. I will let you know how it goes.

groininjury: At what point do you have so many facelifts, that you look in the mirror and say "Holy shiat, I have a cleft chin".

Ever hear the phrase, "She had legs all the way up to her neck"? That would explain the cleft chin and the beard.

DirtyOldGeek: Can I add a third testicle to my nut sack? The ladies will love it.

Cheech approves of this.... ET.... Amsterdam...

The Angry Hand of God: Poppyale: the tongue patch is, well, a patch that's sewn onto your tongue.

If you're thinking people get these to cover the hole from an old tongue piercing, well, that's actually quite a bit less retarded than the real reason. No, the thing is essentially a torture device intended to force you to diet.

Dude. Wouldn't that feel like a cat giving you a blow job?
Please, no one know the answer to that.

One rainy Friday night about 3 months ago, my cat sitting on my lap purring with pleasure. She looked up at me and I knew it was time. She wanted it and I needed it. I stroked her head and she kneaded my lap to get me started. I had to warn her "no claws" a few times but she got the party started.

I rushed to the kitchen and got myself a can of tuna which I applied vigorously to my growing member. Once I had reached full arousal I slapped the cat a couple times in the head with it and let her smell it. She gave me the nod of approval and I went for it. Now we were both ready.

I tried to nicely jam it in her mouth and that is when I learned my lesson. A barrage of claws coming from all angles mutilated my genitals to the point they were barely recognizable through all of the blood. We now have an understanding that she would not be forced and this must be on her terms.

I wish I could say that is what it would feel like but I have no idea. Once I get the bandages off I may make another attempt. I will let you know how it goes.

fantastic prose. +1

Poppyale: DirtyOldGeek: Can I add a third testicle to my nut sack? The ladies will love it.

I think.


No. No we wouldn't.

How YOU doing!

My brother was born with pointed ears. When he was a kid he decided to have them surgically bobbed. As a young trekkie, I thought he was nuts.

That's what I'll be getting--a knee lift. Because at 48, I have no other physical flaws, except for my saggy knees. I should fix them.

Can the dogs tell if they're fake when they're licking their balls?

My GF has some of the tatoo-ed makeup. Her eyebrows are blonde and she is very fair-skinned so she says it didn't look like she had eyebrows from a distance. It is just a light pigmentation under her eyebrows to make them look more noticeable. You'd never know it was tatoo-ed unless you were up VERY close.

JonnyBGoode:
My brother was born with pointed ears. When he was a kid he decided to have them surgically bobbed. As a young trekkie, I thought he was nuts neuticals.

fixed

Donor: My GF has some of the tatoo-ed makeup. Her eyebrows are blonde and she is very fair-skinned so she says it didn't look like she had eyebrows from a distance. It is just a light pigmentation under her eyebrows to make them look more noticeable. You'd never know it was tatoo-ed unless you were up VERY close.

Oh, I didn't look at her face...

Whats with all of the Cracked links lately?

Poppyale: the tongue patch is, well, a patch that's sewn onto your tongue.

If you're thinking people get these to cover the hole from an old tongue piercing, well, that's actually quite a bit less retarded than the real reason. No, the thing is essentially a torture device intended to force you to diet.

Dude. Wouldn't that feel like a cat giving you a blow job?
Please, no one know the answer to that.

Paging gorgor

Having been through one surgery, which was an emergency, I have no idea why anyone would ever want to have voluntary surgery other than a noticeable physical deformity.

What, no mention of rectal rejuvenation?

Gaylord Fister: What, no mention of rectal rejuvenation?

Is that different than anal bleaching?

/rectal rejuvenation is fun to say

My wife looked into getting her ears pointed and its more like 6000 dollars, but she went to an actual surgeon.

groininjury: At what point do you have so many facelifts, that you look in the mirror and say "Holy shiat, I have a cleft chin".

It's better than a cleft asshole!!

cryinoutloud: That's what I'll be getting--a knee lift. Because at 48, I have no other physical flaws, except for my saggy knees. I should fix them.

(checks profile)

48? Don't change a thing, Darlin'. You look beautiful!

Freeside: man_of_constant_sorrow: Is it wrong that I actually find the "elf girl" a little more attractive with the pointed ears?

/watching too much Lord of the Rings
//Liv Tyler...giggity
//I'll be in my hobbithole.....

no, because i agree. though two people on fark could be wrong

that makes 3 of us

DirtyOldGeek: Can I add a third testicle to my nut sack? The ladies will love it.

I think.

Go for the ol' 3-T-Scrot. Increase your pizazz level.

:( site blocked

Then you're one of the lucky ones.

These people freaks can vote and have kids and even eat in the same places I frequent. As a conservative I rarely say "There ought to be a law...." but there should be better medication.

Okaaaayy. Lets see if Gorgor can top that.

/C'MON DOWN!

Gaylord Fister: What, no mention of rectal rejuvenation?

Well there is something known as labiaplasty.

"What if I want to give my kitty cat gigantic tennis ball-sized nuts for my own amusement?"

Best line of TFA

cryinoutloud, I would have guessed 10 years younger.

Clarence Potter: Gaylord Fister: What, no mention of rectal rejuvenation?

Well there is something known as labiaplasty.

I actually know someone who did that. She's a farking plastic attention whore retard with low self-esteem yet also simultaneously arrogant.

We laugh at her behind her perfectly sculpted back.

Gaylord Fister: What, no mention of rectal rejuvenation?

I'm morbidly curious, but afraid to google...

radioman_: :( site blocked

Then you're one of the lucky ones.

These people freaks can vote and have kids and even eat in the same places I frequent. As a conservative I rarely say "There ought to be a law...." but there should be better medication.

Wait until he hears about furries.

/although i think the cat post covered that.
//somewhat